I should have put a warning at the beginning of the story that this was going to be a tad heartbreaking. I've had the last chapter and the next couple chapters in my head for a long time, but the ending isn't set yet, but it is coming soon. Just a head's up on that. Anyway, I hope it's not too depressing and I hope you guys like it!
His heart was breaking into a thousand pieces; his baby was gone. He wasn't a father anymore. He didn't get to watch Alec grow up. He couldn't take care of him anymore. Hugs and kisses were a thing of the past. Time away from hunting, of being a family, was gone. He felt like falling to his knees and sobbing for everything he'd just lost.
But Alec was still alive. He had to cling to that fact or else he would completely fall apart. Alec was alive.
He looked over to Sam and saw tears in his brother's eyes. He knew his brother was thinking the same thing he was. They had lost Alec in one way, but they needed to remember that he wasn't dead. He was still there, still with them, still alive. He had to focus on that. He had to.
"Go tell Bobby to call of the search," Dean said, his voice thick with unshed tears. He shrugged out of his jacket and covered Alec with the material. He didn't know how he was going to explain this to Jody or to the others that were out looking for them, looking for him and his two-year-old son who didn't exist anymore. "I-I don't know if we should take him to the hospital or back home…I mean…back to Bobby's." Could he call Bobby's home anymore?
"Dean, you have to go to the hospital," Sam said. He crouched down beside Alec and reached out to check his pulse. "Dean, he's gotta go to the hospital too. His pulse is weak, he's freezing, I don't even know what other injuries he has…"
"How're we going to explain this?" Dean asked. "I'm not saying no to the hospital, but Jody knows Alec, but she knows him as…as…" He had to stop, he couldn't even think about this. "Let's take him to Bobby's. We can warm him up and take care of him there, but without all the questions."
"Ok Dean," Sam whispered, his voice gentle. "I'll go tell Bobby to call off the search and the paramedics."
He nodded and turned away from his brother so maybe he wouldn't see how heartbroken he was. He'd never thought Alec would get changed back. He never thought this would happen. He had wanted to keep Alec as his kid forever. But that was all gone now. In one night, he'd lost almost everything.
"Dean, he's still alive," Sam said. "I know how you're feeling, because I'm feeling the same way, but Alec's alive."
"I know, Sam," Dean whispered. "Just go get Bobby, ok?"
"Yeah…ok," Sam muttered before walking away from him.
He collapsed next to Alec as soon as Sam was gone, and buried his face in his hands. The future he had wanted was gone, but Alec was still alive.
"Bobby…" Sam said, trying to control his voice, to not let the older man know just how devastated he and Dean both were. He was going to think Alec was dead as soon as he saw his face, and in a way he was. But he had to keep reminding himself that Alec was still alive. He wasn't their little boy anymore, but he still had his little brother.
Bobby turned to face him, and instantly, the older man lost all his color. "No…" Bobby breathed out, shaking his head in denial, tears filling his eyes. "No Sam…"
"He's not dead," Sam quickly said. "Just tell Jody to call of the search and get rid of the paramedics."
"Sam, what-"
"I can't explain it right now," Sam said. "I've gotta get back to Dean. Just head towards the stream a little north from here and you'll find us."
"Sam, what's going on? Give me something," Bobby begged.
"He's not two anymore," Sam said, tears jumping up again. "I don't know what happened, but our little boy's gone."
Bobby swallowed hard and nodded, "Alright…Do you want to take Mushu with you? Give Dean somethin' else to focus on…"
"No…I don't think that'll help," Sam muttered. "But, um, if you can get a couple blankets from the paramedics or something…Dean doesn't think it's a good idea to go to the hospital…it's too hard to explain…"
"Ok, how hurt is he?" Bobby asked. "Is he bleeding? Does he have a head injury? How's his pulse? Is he awake?"
"No, he's not awake," Sam said. "His pulse is weak, but there, I don't know if he's bleeding or if he has a head injury, but he's freezing and he doesn't have any clothes…"
"Get back to your brother…um, brothers," Bobby said. "I'll take care of everything out here."
He nodded and started to return to his brother…brothers, but he stopped and said, "Dean…he's not handling this very well…"
"It just happened, Sam, give him some time," Bobby said gently.
He nodded again and started walking.
"Ok, Dean you lean against me, and Sam will get Alec, ok?" Bobby asked him. He was frozen. He was just sitting there, looking at Alec. He hadn't said anything to Sam when he'd gotten back, and he wasn't going to say anything to Bobby either. "C'mon Dean, you gotta help a little bit here. Let's start with standing up, ok?"
"Dean, look at me," Sam said, suddenly crouching down in front of him. Sam cupped his face with both hands and forced him to look at him. "You have to move or else I'm calling the paramedics back."
"Sam…" He said brokenly. He didn't know what to do anymore. How could he go back to how things used to be, before Alec was his son, was his whole world.
"I know, ok, you know that I know, but you're freezing, I'm freezing, Bobby's freezing, and Alec's freezing. We have to go back to the house and get warmed up. We need to move and get Alec some clothes to wear," Sam said.
He looked back to Alec and saw that he had a blanket over him now, but he was still unconscious. It hurt to look at Alec and not see his smiling little face, his tiny baby hands, his little nose scrunched in confusion…He finally nodded and held his hand out so Sam could help him up. He was stiff, his limbs felt frozen and unresponsive, but he managed to get to his feet with Sam's help. Bobby stepped up and wrapped his arm around his waist to help steady him.
"C'mon kid," Bobby soothed. "Let's get you warmed up."
He moved because he knew he was supposed to. He kept walking because he had to. He didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't know how he was supposed to act or if he could even function now. It probably didn't help that he was so cold he couldn't even feel his fingers anymore.
"Dean, try to make a fist with your hand," Bobby said, grabbing his hand that wasn't draped over the older man's shoulders. "C'mon, try to get the blood moving."
"Alec…"
"Sam's got Alec," Bobby said. "Let's focus on you for a minute. Try to move your fingers, ok?" His fingers were slow to respond, but he did manage to get them to move. He didn't know what the point was, but he didn't want Bobby to get mad at him. "Alright, good," Bobby praised. "We'll get you both warmed up, and then we'll figure everything out, ok?"
"Bobby…I lost him," Dean mumbled.
"You didn't lose him. He ain't dead, he's just not two anymore," Bobby argued. "We just need to focus on taking care of the two of you, and we'll deal with everything else later."
He nodded, but he didn't say anything the rest of the way to the house. He just sat there as Sam and Bobby took care of Alec. They got him dressed in some sweatpants and a hoodie, and wrapped in a blanket before they laid him on the sofa.
"C'mon Dean, let's get you in some dry clothes," Sam said.
"Is Alec ok?" Dean asked.
"He's pretty cold," Sam said. "Bobby's looking for his space heater, and I'm going to sit with him after I get you warmed up."
"Ok…" Dean muttered.
"But first we gotta get you into some warm clothes," Sam said.
"What happened with the search party and the paramedics?" Dean asked, struggling to get his shirt off even with Sam's help.
"Bobby convinced Jody that we found him, but that you were both fine and we were just going to take you both home," Sam said.
"She bought it?" Dean asked.
"For now," Sam said. "But we'll have to figure out what we're going to do."
"I don't know what to do…" Dean whispered with his head down.
"We'll figure it out," Sam said.
"Alright, try putting this on him," Bobby muttered.
He frowned when someone lifted the blanket that was over him, lifted his arm, and put something warm against his side. "Alec, don't freak out, I'm just putting a heating pad on you to help get you warm again," Sam soothed. He could tell his brother didn't think he was actually awake, but he didn't know if he wanted to wake up. His head was killing him and his entire body hurt.
What the Hell happened to him?
"How's Dean doin'?" Bobby asked.
"He's sleeping, finally. He's still freezing, but he won't let me help," Sam said. "But he's just on autopilot…I don't know if he's gonna come back from this one."
"Just give him some time," Bobby said. "We're all gonna have to get used to this." It was quiet for a few minutes, and then Bobby asked, "Is he any warmer?"
Sam's hand gently pressed against his forehead, and then ran back into his hair. "Not really…"
"I'll get him another blanket," Bobby said.
He gasped in surprise and his eyes flew open when his shoulders were suddenly lifted up. He was immediately put back on the sofa, and then his brother's worried face was the only thing he could see. "Alec!" Sam said in surprise. "You're awake!"
"Hey Sam," Alec whispered. Jeez, even talking hurt. He must have hit his head extremely hard…
"You ok?" Sam asked, crouching down to be on his level, keeping his hand on his shoulder. "Are you cold or thirsty?"
"I'm ok," he replied.
"Do you remember what happened?" Sam asked gently.
He frowned and shook his head no. "I'm cold and my head hurts real bad…"
"We've got a space heater going, a heat pad on you, and Bobby's getting you another blanket," Sam said. "I can get you some soup in a little bit." Sam looked around, but then his attention snapped back to him. "You gotta take your pills! Let me get them, just sit tight, ok?"
He nodded even though Sam was already gone. He really wished he could remember what had happened. Maybe he'd passed out and had a few seizures before Sam and Dean had found him. He frowned though, realizing the last thing he remembered was a hunt. They were searching some house, but he couldn't remember what happened after that. Somehow, they'd gotten to Bobby's and he was freezing and sore?
"Ok, let's get you sitting up," Sam said once he was back. He couldn't even move, he hurt so bad. But Sam got him up, sitting behind him to help support him, and helped him take his pills. "So, what's the last thing you remember?" Sam asked. He could tell his brother was trying to go for casual, but this was definitely an important question.
"The hunt," Alec said, feeling like he was failing. "We went into that house to check it out…Did I have a seizure or something?" Sometimes he was cold after he had a seizure, not necessarily freezing like he was now, but he liked to wrap up in a blanket after one.
"No…um, this is kinda hard to explain," Sam said. Something had happened…something serious. "But I don't' know if I should be the one to explain it all…"
"Where's Dean?" Alec asked.
"He's upstairs," Sam said simply.
Bobby suddenly walked back in, but a puppy ran in behind him and ran straight for him. The dog jumped on him and started licking him all over his face. His eyes widened in surprise and he patted the dog's head as he tried to get him away from his face.
"Mushu, get down," Bobby ordered. The dog quickly jumped back down to the floor and to Bobby's side. "Hey kiddo, how ya feeling?" Bobby asked him, his voice sad.
"I'm alright," he automatically answered. "When did you get a dog?"
"You don't remember anything?" Bobby asked in concern.
He slowly shook his head no. "What's going on? What happened?"
"I think Dean needs to be here…" Sam said. "I don't know how to say it…"
"Just tell me," Alec said. "It's something to do with me, right? I can tell I'm not paralyzed, so what is it?"
"Alec, it's March," Sam said.
That couldn't be right…it had been June when they went on that hunt. "Was I in a coma?" Alec asked quietly. Maybe that was why he was so sore; he hadn't been moving for about 10 months, and maybe he was cold because his blood hadn't been circulating very well.
"No, Alec, you weren't in a coma," Sam reassured. "Something happened…and it's going to be hard to believe, but it's true. And we can prove it, so don't just think we're crazy, ok?"
"Ok…" Alec said slowly.
"Alec, you were somehow turned into a two-year-old. You've been a little kid for the past 10 months," Sam said.
"What?" Alec breathed out. That couldn't be possible, right? There was no way he could've been turned into a two-year-old for 10 months…right?
"I'm not joking," Sam said. "You were a little kid and we took care of you."
"I want to talk to Dean," Alec said. It felt like his head was spinning. If this was all true, then Dean would be able to verify it.
"Alec, he's asleep right now," Bobby said. "You two have hypothermia, and he's got a concussion and three broken ribs."
"What happened?" Alec asked in concern. He started to push himself up, but he didn't even need Sam's restraining hands to keep him on the sofa. He hurt so bad, he couldn't even move. He whimpered in pain and fell back against his brother.
"Alec, what's wrong? What hurts?" Sam asked in panic.
"Everything," Alec breathed out. It was like he had a hundred seizures, had been in psy-ops for months, and had just had an examination where they'd taken bone marrow, and had the crap beaten out of him all rolled into one.
"How bad?" Sam asked.
"B-bad…" Alec admitted.
"Ok, how 'bout you lay back again, I'll keep trying to get you warmed up, and then you can talk to Dean once he wakes up," Sam suggested.
He nodded since he wasn't able to do anything else. He'd just have to talk to Dean later, when he was able to move a little and talk without getting too breathless.
"Alec woke up for a while," Sam said. Dean was awake, but he was refusing to move, to talk to him, to even look at him. He'd never seen his brother so defeated before, and he didn't know how to help. "I tried to tell him what happened, but he doesn't believe me."
He looked over at his brother to see if he would react at all, but he didn't do anything. He reached over and propped his brother up slightly to see if that would change anything, but still nothing. He didn't even slap his hands away like he normally would.
"Dean, talk to me," Sam begged. "Alec still needs you, I need you. I know this is hard, trust me, I've already talked to him and it's the hardest thing in the world not to hug him and hold him close like I did when he was a little kid, but he still needs us."
He didn't know how else he could get Dean to talk to him, to get Dean to talk to Alec. He had to try to fix this so Alec wouldn't be devastated that his big brother wouldn't even talk to him. He would have to give his brother a low blow if he wanted to try to get through to him.
"He's hurt…He's not bleeding or anything, but he was in serious pain when he woke up earlier. I don't know if it's from the stream or if it's because he changed back…maybe it was like a super-stretch on his muscles and bones…I don't know, but he couldn't hide it, so that means it's bad," Sam said.
Dean's eyes finally shifted from the ceiling over to him. "Is he any warmer?"
"Not really. I was going to go back down and…" his cheeks heated in embarrassment, thinking that he was just going to hold Alec like he used to, to warm him up. "Anyway…you wanna move downstairs so you're around when he wakes up again?"
"Sam…"
"You can pretend to be asleep if he does wake up, that way you don't have to talk if you don't want to," Sam quickly defended. "Besides, it's warmer down there, and you look like you're still cold."
"I don't know what to say to him," Dean finally admitted. "He was my kid, Sam…I…I wanted to raise him, give him a better life…"
"I know, Dean. I wanted that to happen too, but he's still with us. He's our brother. We can't change what happened, but we can still try to give him a better life," Sam said. "He needs us around, no matter what age he is."
Dean swallowed hard and blinked a few times before he nodded. "Yeah…you're right…"
"I know it's going to be hard to get used to, but we'll get used to it again," Sam said. "And you know, that life doesn't have to be over. You can find someone, settle down, have kids-"
"Sam," Dean cut off. "No. Alec was my kid. He was my chance at that life. I don't want another kid."
"Dean, I know-"
"Quit saying that you know," Dean growled. "That's not helping."
"I kn- I'm sorry," Sam said. "I just want to try and help."
"Then go back downstairs," Dean said. "Go make sure Alec's warm."
"Are you coming too?" Sam asked. He held his breath as he waited for his brother's reply. Everything was riding on what Dean said now. If he was going to be able to move on, or if his brother was going to disappear under his grief. He didn't know what he would do if Dean refused to go. He didn't know what he would tell Alec or how they would actually get through this if Dean wasn't even willing to try. His brother had always been there for him and for Alec. What if this was Dean's breaking point? What if this was it and he couldn't get his brother back? What he said was true; he and Alec needed Dean, no matter what age they were, but especially now. He knew it would take time to get over the loss of having Alec as a little kid, but they couldn't ignore their brother because of it. They just couldn't.
"No," Dean finally said.
More soon...