Hey guys! In honor of BrittanaCon's Prompt Project, here's one of the three prompts I took on. Check out other awesome works by other super awesome authors on BrittanaCon's Tumblr page.
The aftermath of when Santana gets rejected by her abuela and she goes to Brittanys house super upset and Brittany comforts her. (2)
When Santana thought about what her senior year of high school would be like, this wasn't exactly what she had in mind. She was supposed to be McKinley's top bitch, captain of the Cheerio's, a perfect grade point average, and dating the hottest guy in school, but somewhere down the line that plan fell through. In a way, she's glad it did because back then she wasn't being honest with herself. She didn't want to rule the school, just protect herself from being bullied. She didn't want to be the captain of the Cheerio's, just the protection the uniform gave. She wanted the grades, for sure because that was her one way ticket out of Lima. And guys? That's the biggest problem of all.
Maybe if she kept on pretending then things would've been easier? Maybe if she would've just held on a little while longer she wouldn't be having a breakdown in her car outside Brittany's house because her abuela just cut her out of her life?
Then again, this isn't really her fault. She wasn't ready for this, for any of this. She had a plan, a flawless plan, but that's gone to shit now too. Thank you, Finn Hudson.
She furiously wipes her face trying to disguise the fact that her whole world just got rocked the second time in a week because she doesn't want Brittany to worry. She shouldn't have to deal with her drama and she doesn't want her to. Santana's sure it's not what she signed up for so she screws her lid back on tight and reapplies her makeup because Brittany shouldn't have to piece her back together like this.
She'll be fine, she can do this alone, she doesn't need help. She doesn't need lady music week or whatever bullshit assignment Finn devised in her honor for Glee Club. She doesn't need the Wonder Twins serenading her with songs of how it'll get better. She doesn't need any of that because she's fine and she can do this alone. She just- she just needs time.
"Hey San!" Brittany greets happily when she opens the front door to find Santana smiling back, "You look really pretty."
"Thanks." Santana replies and steps inside where it's safe from wandering eyes and she can place a kiss to Brittany's cheek. All the crying she did in the car makes her eyes sting every time she blinks but she doesn't think Brittany notices and goes to unzip her heels.
"How was abuela's?"
Santana cringes at the topic but she's so focused on her heels that Brittany doesn't see that either. She's able to muster a pretty convincing voice and says, "Fine."
"That's good." Brittany nods but never takes her eyes off her girlfriend, "I thought you said you were picking up pizza?"
"Shit, sorry Britt." Santana sighs at mid unzip. She had been so wrapped up in her thoughts and abuela that it slipped her mind. It's the only thing Brittany asked of her and she couldn't even get that right. She can't ever get anything right and she-she needs to get something right for once. She's a little frazzled when she tries to put her heels back on, "I totally forgot. I-I'll go back out and pick one up. What kind did you want? The one with the pineapple right? Or did you want someth-"
"Hey, it's okay. There's always delivery." Brittany shrugs, placing a comforting hand on Santana's shoulder. She can tell something's off just from the fast talking and lack of eye contact but she doesn't question it, not yet at least. She puts a smile back on and runs her hand down Santana's back softly, "Besides, you just got here. I don't want you to go already."
"I'd come back, Britt." Santana chuckles but her smile is strained.
"I know, but still.." Brittany smirks and nods for Santana to keep taking off her heels, "I can order."
Upstairs, Santana sits at the edge of Brittany's bed staring down at her hands in a daze. She can somewhat hear Brittany on the phone with the pizza guy, but abuela's voice is too loud. She repeats her words over and over in her head, the way she looked at her like..like she didn't even know her anymore, the disgust in her voice, in her eyes. Santana knew it was a possibility, abuela reacting so badly, she just didn't think it would happen. Abuela loves her, loved her, she raised her and cared for her when her parents were too busy, how could she just give her up like that?
How could she feel so judged, so misunderstood, so horrible for wanting to be true to herself? What harm could her love for Brittany cause? Why couldn't abuela just love her and accept her like her parents did? Why'd she have to bring God and sin into this? She's the same person she was, she's just-
"Santana?" Brittany's voice graces her ears so softly and it sounds so far away when really she's right next to her. She feels the bed dip and a warm hand cup her cheek, "Hey, is everything alright?"
"I'm fine." Santana shrugs away from her, instantly hating herself for doing it because the look on Brittany's face is pure hurt. She doesn't do anything to fix it though, just stares at a spot on the wall away from Brittany's critical eyes.
"You're clearly not fine." She says and Santana tenses her jaw. She hears Brittany sigh and scoot a little closer, her arm winding around Santana's back, "Talk to me, what's going on?"
"I-I don't want to, I'm fine." Santana says but her voice cracks and the tears begin to leak from the corners of her eyes again. She squeezes them shut and tries to swallow the lump forming in her throat, "I'm fine. I'm fine."
"Oh honey.." Brittany sighs and the term of endearment relaxes Santana just a little but she's still wound tight. Brittany wraps her arms around Santana fully and presses her lips to the corner of her jaw, right below her ear, "You're not fine, talk to me. Please? What's going on?"
But she doesn't say a word. Santana just quietly sobs against Brittany's shoulder, wetting her shirt with hot tears until she wears herself out and falls asleep. Even in her slumber, she sees abuela's harsh eyes and hears her harsh words and feels the pain multiply. It doesn't matter that Brittany holds her tight and kisses every inch of her face because abuela hates her. She hates her and her love for Brittany and that's what means the most to her.
An hour or so must've gone by when Santana rouses again, sore eyes blinking to find Brittany still lying there with her arms wrapped protectively around her. Brittany instantly awakes when she feels Santana shift onto her side to face the blonde, but she stays quiet and just looks at Santana with patient eyes. One of her favorite things is lying in Brittany's arms like this, she feels so loved and cherished and if she could, she would never leave. She could spend the rest of her life just like this, with soft blue eyes filled with all the love in the world looking right at her.
It beats facing the world where anyone can judge you and tear you down just for loving a woman. It beats facing abuela and her hard eyes. It beats facing the kids at school, the guys who just want to straighten her out. It beats facing anyone who doesn't approve of who she is and who she loves.
Here, in Brittany's arms, she can just exist.
"Are you hungry?" Brittany asks but Santana shakes her head. Her appetite is nowhere to be found. "When was the last time you ate? Abuela's?"
Santana thinks of the giant plate of rice and beans abuela had made for her, her last homecooked meal she thinks, but she left it untouched. She couldn't, not after having her heart ripped from her chest. She thinks of how her lunch went untouched too, too nervous for her later meeting with abuela to even nibble on her fries. Same goes for breakfast.
Santana shakes her head and that makes Brittany sigh, "I'm going to get you a slice-"
"I'm not-"
"And you're going to eat it. You probably haven't had anything all day and after all that crying, you're exhausted and you're going to have to eat something." Brittany tells her sternly, leaving no room for argument, "Okay?"
Santana just smiles weakly at Brittany's insistence, and maybe if she wasn't so damn sad she might even find that tone of voice sexy. "Okay."
She gets her the slice with the most ham on it, it's Santana's favorite, and watches her take tiny little bites while she inhales her own. Santana tries her best to finish but she's really not in the mood to eat and she knows Brittany's only making her because she cares and she's worried but she doesn't have to, Santana can take care of herself.
"Water?" Brittany asks but gives the bottle to Santana anyway.
She takes small sips and hands the bottle back all too quickly. Brittany tries pushing it back into her hands but Santana tenses, "Quit babying me, Brittany. I can handle myself."
"That's not..let me take care of you." Brittany frowns because this is all she feels like she's allowed to do, "If you won't talk to me, if you won't tell me what's going on, just let me have this. Let me take care of you, Santana."
"You're not getting it, I don't need you to!" Santana snaps and Brittany cringes at her voice, "You shouldn't have to and I'm not letting you just so you can leave too. I'm not-"
"Hold on, hold on." Brittany stops her, "Leave? You think I would leave? Santana, honey, I couldn't leave you if I wanted to and I don't." She takes hold of Santana's hands and sets them in her lap, "We are in this together, I don't know how many times I've got to tell you that until you believe me but we are. Something obviously happened at abuela's and, baby, you can talk to me about that. Just tell me, you don't have to do this alone. I love you. I'm in love with you and I will be here for you always, just..just tell me something because I want to help. I want to do whatever you need me to."
"Britt.." Santana sighs and she sounds so broken and tired that it makes Brittany's lip tremble, "I can't." Before Brittany knows it, Santana's pulling away, "I can't, I can't do this. I've-"
"Santana Lopez, don't you walk out on me."
"I-I've got to go."
"Santana..please stay."
Tears gather in Brittany's eyes too as she watches Santana head for the door and Santana can hear it in her voice that she's hurt but so is she. She just needs time and Brittany forcing her to talk isn't helping and she can't stay and be babied by her like this because it's not, she's not helping.
But still, she feels horrible because she's making Brittany upset when all she wants to do is love her. All she wants to do is be there for Santana but the brunette just won't have it. She's too damn stubborn for her own good and that's killing Brittany. She hates herself for wanting to leave and she hates herself for wanting to stay, there's just no winning.
So she walks back over to the edge of Brittany's bed and cups the blonde's cheeks, "I love you, Brittany, so much but I just.." She gets choked up again and tears well, "My abuela kicked me out of her house because I'm in love with you."
Fresh tears roll down Brittany's cheeks and she squeezes her eyes tight because how could someone be so cruel.
"She's everything to me, Britt, but so are you and I just can't-" Santana trails off, "I just, I need some time. I just, I need to think."
Brittany's nose is red and her eyes water but she bites her lip and nods.
"I love you." Santana tells her again and goes in for a kiss that Brittany deepens by curling her arms around Santana's neck. "I love you." She whispers against swollen pink lips, "I'm not ashamed of that, I won't ever be. Not anymore, not ever again."
"Then stay with me." Brittany says but it sounds more like a helpless plea, "Don't go, San. You're not that only person that's being hurt by this and I-I need you to stay here with me because I love you too. You hear me? I love you too, Santana, and you don't get to run away from me anymore when you're scared because that's not fair. I'm scared too and I just want you to be with me. Just..just stay?"
"Brittany-"
"I don't want you to leave here and suffer alone because you don't have to do that anymore. You have me and I just want to be there for you and you're not letting me do that." Brittany rambles and holds tight to Santana's hands, "Just..just roll to me."
"What?" Santana frowns and her brows knit together because something brightens in Brittany's eyes and it's like she's missed something completely.
"Roll to me, pretty baby." Brittany tells her again but this time she gives her a watery grin so contagious that the corners of Santana's mouth itch to curl up too.
"I don't..I'm not following." Santana says with the shake of her head but Brittany just tugs on her hands and smiles.
"Look around your world, pretty baby. Is it everything you'd hoped it'd be?" Brittany sings through a scratchy voice but the brightness in blue eyes and the growing smile just makes Santana finally smile too, "The wrong guy, the wrong situation. The right time to roll to me."
"Brittany.." Santana chuckles as she bats away tears from her eyes, "Are you really-"
"And look into your heart, pretty baby. Is it aching with some nameless need?" Brittany goes on and flattens her palm against Santana's heart while her other hand rests low on her waist, "Is there something wrong and you can't put your finger on it? Right then, roll to me."
"I can't believe you're going to sing the whole-" Santana says but she's interrupted again when Brittany springs on top of her bed and holds her hand out to Santana.
"And I don't think I have ever seen a soul so in despair. So if you want to talk the night through, guess who will be there?" She belts out dramatically and she's being so freaking cute Santana can't help but stare up at her dreamily.
"Let me guess, you?" Santana answers but Brittany just winks and sinks back down on the bed as she drapes her arms around Santana's shoulders.
"So don't try to deny it, pretty baby. You've been down so long you can hardly see. When the engine's stalled and it won't stop raining, it's the right time to roll to me."
Brittany's barely done singing when Santana pushes her down on her back and straddles her hips, covering her face in soft kisses that make Brittany giggle.
"I said roll to me, not roll on top of me." Brittany teases though her hands slide around Santana's waist and grab at her ass.
Santana just laughs and kisses Brittany harder, "You're the best girlfriend ever."
Song used: Roll to Me by Del Amitri