Chapter 10

I found myself driving a car down an old, abandoned road. It had to have been very late, with only my headlights leading the way through the dark night. The ditches on the side of the road were horrifyingly deep, and the trees were too tall for me to see the branches. It wasn't winter anymore. Spring was gone, and now I felt myself gripping the wheel to a strangely eerie summer night. The road was endless. I drove for hours on end, or so it seemed.

It was such a simple position, but so strangely scary. I don't know if I ever felt so scared of something like this before. So I tried to stop the car, but the brakes wouldn't budge. There was an urge for me to cry, but physically, I just couldn't. It was almost as if I wasn't meant to do anything other than stare at the white lights in front of me. It was almost as if I wasn't allowed to do anything but watch.

A figure emerged on the side of the road. As I neared the image, I saw that it wasn't standing or sitting, but it was floating over the ditch. The car began to slow down as I approached the thing. The headlights flashed over the being, and to my horror, I discovered it was actually a body.

I knew her, even though I had not seen or spoken with her for a time. Still, I loved her. Her curly brown hair fell past her slackened jaw, while her lifeless coffee colored eyes looked towards the sky. She wore a long cotton night gown and no shoes over delicate feet. Even from behind the dirty window, I could still count the beauty marks on her cheeks; marks that reflected my own.

"Mom?" I whispered.

She floated like an angel. Her pale arms hung down her sides, legs hanging loosely beneath her with painted green toenails. I missed her pedicures so much, and the smell of her perfume when she readied for work.

Her neck jerked back, and crimson flowed all over her chest and gown. I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing came out. Put your fists on the window! No, I couldn't do anything. My body flowed with adrenaline and pure horror, but I couldn't use any of it to my advantage. I wasn't allowed to. As I watched her jaw widen and listened to her groans, the car began to pick up speed. I watched my mother writhe in the rear view mirror. The seatbelt tightened around my chest, and I was forced to watch the white headlights once again.

Wake up! Force yourself out of this! Move your body!

I couldn't. I was still behind the wheel.

Scream! You have to scream!

My lips parted, but no one would hear me.

SCREAM!

I was just a baby bird, discovering a tiny croak in the back of my throat. It grew louder, like a low growl. Suddenly I started to become aware. My legs shook, and I could feel the sound of my voice fill my lungs and straight into the air. I moved my body uncontrollably despite the straps that tightened my limbs. My eyes flew open, and I saw the trio staring back at me with wild expressions.

The Jester planted a kiss on the raggedy burlap sack over Scarecrow's head. Copper colored curls swayed back and force as Allison laughed heartily at my pain. God, what I would have given to lunge at them. I would have eaten them all alive if I could.

"Mommy! Oh poor mooommmy!" Jester squealed, pointing her finger at me. She jumped up and down, clicking her ridiculous heels on the floor. "Mommy isn't here!"

Seeing that silly outfit of hers brought me back to reality, well, a fucked up reality anyways. It wasn't real; just an illusion concocted by the drugs that were being developed and forced inside me. But, what was Jester's reality?

I cleared my weak throat, ready to test out my voice again. Sure, I was still coming down from the drug, but Jester brought my wits about me. "At least I've got a mommy. I reckon yours is dead on account of how old you are." I said plainly. She immediately silenced, obtaining looks from Allison and Scarecrow. A frustrated look spread across her face.

"Give her more." Jester whined to them.

"No." Allison scolded. "It will fuck up the results." She threw her hands in the air, still holding the charts. Scarecrow folded his arms across his chest, tilting his head over slightly as if finding the proper angle to watch me.

I felt my hair plastered to my cheeks, coated in sweat. My mouth became dry with every longing second that passed. The straps that held me down drew red lines all across my limbs. Still, my body shivered at the Scarecrow's stare; even more so as I listened to his footsteps. His steps weren't calculated, but shuffled and quick. He scratched his head through the burlap before leaning over me; hand quick to grasp my throat.

"Do you…" He began hoarsely, but stopped. His tight grip loosened slightly as I began to choke. He smelled sweaty, with a hint of sweetness on the end; from Jester no doubt.

"…sorry." A whisper fell, muffled through the mask. His hands began to tense up around my neck again, and I heard Allison and Jester talking in hushed voices from behind him.

"Dr. Crane?" I managed to mumble through his grip.

"I told you, the doctor isn't here!" He scolded, delivering a slap to my face. All I could do was whimper at the pain. Jester's thin giggle soared across the room as I glared into the light above me. My stomach felt like it was ready to turn inside out once again.

The scarecrow took a few steps back and shook his head before arrogantly placing his hands on his hips. "Looks like I'm taking this one home." He declared, clean cut voice more ragged than usual. "Jessica, please write out some forms for me. Mira doesn't work here anymore and I'm no longer a patient."

By this time, my eyes were shut tight. I couldn't see, but I could practically hear the sound of their jaws drop. "I-I don't…" Jester began in disbelief. "Now, I don't think I can..."

"That's not what I want to hear." He growled lowly. "Pull whatever strings you need; I don't care if you have to weave them yourself."

Jester argued back, but she was silenced by the clearing of his throat. "Knock her out, Allison."

I didn't fight back as she cleaned my other arm, preparing for another injection. My eyes remained shut and I welcomed the needle. Voices turned into distant whispers, and I felt myself fade into black.

There were no dreams that time, only a sleep that I greedily consumed. A hammer to the head couldn't wake me at that point. I only knew because of how I felt when I awoke; on my back and completely rigid with the comforter up to my chest. My body was placed on the bed carefully and I had remained in the same spot for several hours. The clock said it was a little past three in the morning, delivering a dreamy like shudder to my body. I wasn't generally superstitious, but three in the morning was always such a strange time of night. It was too late, but much too early and dark. The silence in my bedroom was tangible, rendering me paralyzed and terrified of the dark. Only the red on the clock flashed.

3:14

I spread my arms out slowly, accidentally hitting something heavy next to me before retracting my arms. A whimper escaped my lips as I slowly reached out again, feeling what seemed like exposed flesh. There were only two possibilities as to who was next to me, and they were almost one in the same.

Again, I reached out my arm to touch. My hand searched his skin, falling into his hair and back to his shoulder. He didn't make a sound or respond, and I wondered how deep of a sleep he had fallen into. Maybe he knocked himself out too, or maybe he was just too tired from being such a sick cunt. Either way, I wasn't sure what I was dealing with. This was my home and my bed, and I needed to prove it.

My other hand searched for the nightstand, reaching for the lamp. I quickly switched it on and saw him in his slumber; mouth slightly parted as he rested on his side. For a moment, I watched him, even counted his freckles and brushed some of his hair back. I felt sorry for Dr. Crane, but not for the Scarecrow.

After awhile, I finally built up the courage to leave my room. I quietly glided to the kitchen and opened a drawer in search for a knife. Once I found one that I was satisfied with, I carefully tip toed back to my bedroom. He remained in the same position, completely undisturbed as I crawled over the blanket.

I don't know who you want to be tonight, but I'm going to find out.

I carefully swung my leg over him, resting gently on top as I placed the knife beneath his throat. With my other hand, I softly grabbed a fistful of his hair before thrusting it back, causing his electric brights to fly open in shock. He didn't move upon seeing the knife, especially when I pushed the cold blade to his skin.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I questioned.

He coolly raised an eyebrow and moaned. "I was sleeping."

"You think you can just come over and sleep? After what you did to me? Give me a reason why I shouldn't tie you up right now."

He shrugged and rolled his eyes closed before licking his lips. "Because I'll like it more if you tied me up."

"Dr. Crane?" I questioned, slightly pulling the knife away.

"Speaking."

"You know I have to do it. I have to protect myself from the Scarecrow." I warned him, concluding that I needed to do something. If I went back to bed, I might've woken back up next to something else.

"Scarecrow not here." He mumbled. "Took some drugs, he'll be out for awhile." Dr. Crane slowly shut his eyes, but I wasn't through with him yet.

"What did you take?"

"A prescription to keep it at bay. Mira, if I was going to kill you, you wouldn't be here to harass me." He assured me, voice becoming raspier as he drawled on. Something about the sound made me love it, and I hated myself for it. I hated the way I felt sorry for Dr. Crane, even though I did understand that he was indeed mentally ill. The man needed help, and he surely didn't need people like Allison and Jessica to enforce the Scarecrow. Could I truly care for him? Was he even worth it?

"You're pushing it doctor." I insisted, keeping a tight grip on the weapon.

His eyes opened back up and a mischievous grin played at his lips. "I'd like this so much better if you didn't have the knife."

I was annoyed, even though the suggestion got me going in ways I wouldn't acknowledge. "Where were you when the Scarecrow forced me to see all of those things? You know he tried to rape me in my kitchen, and then I found out that my best friend died! How would you expect me to react right now?"

Dr. Crane didn't look at me; in fact, he avoided my eyes like he was guilty. Talking about Jo again made my throat numb and spilled tears down my cheeks. I wanted him to look at me, if only for just a moment. I just wanted my sorrow to be acknowledged.

He hesitated, and then attempted to roll over. I scratched his neck with the blade inciting an 'ouch' from between his gritted teeth. Suddenly, his arm slipped up and smacked the knife from my hand. Before I could react any further, he grabbed my neck and slammed me down, head narrowly missing the headboard.

He put a hand on my neck to keep me down, but didn't use aggressive force. Cranes delicate face lingered over mine, angry yet strangely calm as well. "I'm not trying to hurt you. I don't understand how many fucking times I have to tell you this." He scolded, making me feel quite insignificant. Even when he was upset, there was prettiness to him. It was his voice that needed deliverance.

Crane sighed, rising back up and moving to the edge of the bed. I watched his back in the dim light, noting the smooth skin and the innocence of his messy hair. He looked so human to me. All I could think about was how I wanted to reach over and touch him. "I asked the Scarecrow to let you go."

I blinked my eyes, unable to respond. Crane lowered his head and scratched the back of his neck. Then, I reached my arm out and traced my finger over his lower back carefully. Crane shivered unexpectedly at the touch, almost seething. I dropped my hand in response.

"It's okay, Mira." He told me as he rubbed his eyes.

Once again, I reached out to him. This time, I used a nail to lightly scratch his muscle. A sigh breathed between his lips and I felt his back begin to stretch. Pale arms extended into the air, gracefully like a silent acrobat as his body fell into the pillows next to me.

"I know you're horny, but I'm tired." He whispered after nestling beneath the comforter.

"I am no…" I couldn't finish my sentence. Crane was already snoozing, leaving me wide awake next to him. So I pushed myself closer, holding an open palm against his back as I wondered what I was going to do.