He couldn't tell what hurt more, the forceful backhand or the way his head hit the wall in reaction. Either way his head throbbed. It took every ounce of willpower to not show the pain, to keep a blank face and just wait it out. Usually his father stopped after a couple punches when Billy was silent, then he'd stomp out of his room, leaving Billy an opportunity to let go of the tears that rested in his eyes. Neil didn't seem to stop this time though, instead of throwing a punch to the face the pummel hit his stomach, completely winding him. Billy let out a small cry, cursing himself to hell and back for showing such weakness to his father. A tight hand wrapped itself around his neck and shoved him against the wall, whacking his head again. He couldn't breathe. No matter how hard he tried to suck the air into his lungs barely any passed the tight grasp on his throat. He didn't know what to do, he could not breathe. The room around him started to look ever so distorted as he became more light headed, hands rushed to his father's clawing at it to loosen its grip even the tiniest bit. He knew he shouldn't fight back, fighting back was the ultimate way to end up in the hospital but the fear that his father would take the violence a step too far was too prominent.
"You will never disrespect me like that ever again. Do you understand?" His father growled. There was such a darkness in his eyes, it was terrifying, like an animal's. Steve tried to speak, he was so desperate to just apologise in hopes that it would satisfy his father enough to leave him alone, but he physically couldn't get the words out. After the apparent attempt to talk Neil loosened his grip ever so slightly, allowing Billy to let out a weak 'Yes sir, sorry sir'. At the words Neil let go and Billy fell to the ground. He couldn't even look up at his father as he stormed out the room, slamming the door in a way that Billy felt his walls shake ever so slightly. The blonde buried his face in his hands, completely unable to stop the tears that fell from his eyes, his whole body ached as silent sobs rattled through him. He felt so helpless and pathetic, he was a 17-year-old guy for goodness sake and there he was, curled up in his room crying like some kind of pussy. Maybe his father was right when he called Billy 'a pathetic waste of space'. After all, he couldn't even keep himself together after a couple hits.
He didn't know how long he'd been sat there crying, it could've been a mere ten minutes or several hours, he had no idea at all, but a hesitant knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts. He wiped his tears hastily, refusing to let whoever was at the door know he'd been crying. He shot up and swung it open.
"What?" He snapped.
"It's six thirty, it's time to go." She said. It was clear from her expression that she knew something had happened with his father, but he was thankful she didn't ask him about it. Instead he just silently nodded and followed her out to the car.
Steve lounged on Dustin's couch anxiously as he waited. Billy had said yes to babysitting with him and that he would come along with Max. All of the boys sat on the floor, eyes glued to the TV as they waited for their friend to arrive, they refused to start a game of Dungeons and Dragons without her. Steve hadn't told them that Billy was coming round, he knew it'd set them on edge and he just didn't know how to tell them.
"Um, guys, so, I Kinda invited a friend to come over and chill with us." He said, all rooms in the room turning on him curiously.
"Who?" asked Will. Steve was still really hesitant to say.
"Its- uh, it's Billy." He braced himself for their reactions. They all stared at him wide eyed.
"Why the hell would you invite him here?!" Mike exclaimed.
"He tried to kill me!" Lucas yelled. Steve really didn't know what to do. He didn't want to cancel on Billy, he genuinely wanted to hang out with the guy but then, he didn't want to upset the kids, after all it wasn't even his house.
"Look guys, I promise that he'll be okay. We'll stay in here whilst you're playing your game if you want us to?"
They didn't like the idea, but no one argued with Steve any further, accepting the fact that Billy would in fact be coming to the house. The air was heavy as they all waited anxiously for the sound of the doorbell and soon enough. It rang. Steve shot up embarrassingly fast, glancing down at the kids as he approached the door, hoping they weren't looking at him funny and thankfully none of them were. Max grinned up at Steve as he swung the door open. Billy stood behind his step-sister, an unreadable expression on his face.
"Hey, come inside." Steve said, Max brushed past him and ran to the other boys who greeted her excitedly. Billy entered the house hesitantly, discomfort clear on his face. He smiled awkwardly for a moment before speaking.
"I uh, brought a six pack of beer." Steve couldn't help but notice how hoarse Billy's voice sounded but he brushed the thought to one side, distinctly remembering Billy telling him to stay out of his business.
"Awesome, I'll show you where the fridge is." Steve felt overly happy in this situation, as if he was trying to compensate for Billy's lack of energy, he mentally slapped himself as the blonde followed him to the kitchen. He needed to chill out, show Billy that he was a cool guy, someone he could hang out with. He didn't know why he wanted to come across that way to Billy, in fact he didn't know why any of this was happening with Billy, surely he was supposed to hate him? After removing two cans from the plastic rings, Steve placed the beers into the fridge and cracked open his. He sipped on it nervously as he glanced up at Billy. The blonde still did not look comfortable in the environment, eyes averted from Steve as he kept them locked on his can.
"Is it weird that I invited you?" inquired Steve, the awkwardness of the whole situation sinking into every single pore on his body. Billy let out a breathy chuckle before glancing up at the older boy.
"Nah, its fine Harrington, just one of those days, y'know?" Once again Steve didn't pry, as much as he wanted to, he knew that Billy liked to keep to himself. The two headed into the living room where Steve slumped back down onto the sofa. The kids were all still on the ground, eyes staring up at Billy who kept his eyes to his feet.
"You can sit down you know Hargrove." Steve said, attempting to make light of the younger's awkwardness. Eyes stayed glued on Billy as he approached the couch and sat down next to Steve, keeping a distance between them. No one said a word.
"Alright, you lot get out." Steve moaned, hands gesturing for the kids to move rooms.
"What? Why?" Dustin argued.
"Because one, I want to watch tv and two because your creepy staring is freaking me out." He announced. Dustin looked like he was about to retaliate but Steve shot him a look, nodding his head ever so slightly towards Billy in hopes they got the message and thankfully they did. After all the kids had gone off to play D and D, Steve turned to Billy.
"TV or Records?" he asked. Billy pondered for a second before replying.
"Records, what is there?"
"I mean, it's not my house but I'm sure there's something listenable." Chuckled Steve. The two approached the shelf with all the records slotted in before the two began to riffle through. It was a couple minutes before Billy pulled one out excitedly.
"I love this record! Jesus, I haven't listened to it in ages!" Billy rushed over and set up the record and let the music flood through the room. The fast strumming of a guitar and vocals filled the room and Steve recognised it in a heartbeat.
"This is Rumours by Fleetwood Mac, this is literally my favourite album!" He said excitedly. Billy smiled at him as he tapped his foot to the beat.
"I remember saving up for it when I was eleven, I heard Gold Dust Woman on the radio and knew I had to have it. I would steal coins out of my mom's purse and from down the back of the couch, it took me like a couple months until I could afford it." There was a sad smile across his lips which Steve just couldn't tear his eyes from. Steve didn't question the sadness, instead he decided to add his own funny story.
"I remember getting really drunk at a party and trying to serenade a girl with Rhiannon, that was embarrassing. The whole party literally laughed me out of the house." Billy's chuckle led to them moving on to tell each other their favourite party memories, Steve sat on the sofa gazing down at Billy who sat cross legged on the floor, looking more relaxed than Steve had ever seen him. Time seemed to completely escape them, and it wasn't long until Dustin and Max appeared in the room complaining that they were hungry. Fuck, Steve had completely forgotten about the kids, let alone sorting out food, the fact that Ms. Henderson had asked him to feed the brats had slipped from his mind.
"It's cool, I'll order a couple pizzas, I'm kinda hungry too." Billy offered. From the kid's expressions Billy might as well have told them he was taking them all to Disney land.
"Why?" Max questioned, reluctant to believe her Step-brother could have such a generous offer. He glared at her before raising a hand to mimic batting her away.
"Shut up Max." He half expected her to storm off in a huff like she usually did but instead a foreign giggle left her, or well, at least it was foreign to him. Billy's words were enough confirmation for the two to run back into the other room, raving about how Billy was about to buy them all pizza. Billy shot up and headed for the landline.
"What'd you like Harrington?" he called from the kitchen.
"Meat!" He shouted back.
"Of course Steve Harrington likes a good bit of meat!" Billy hollered back followed by a cackle. With a grin Steve advanced into the kitchen and playfully pushed Billy from behind.
"Hey, what was that?" Billy turned with a thunderous look on his face which instantly sent regret through the older boy. A second passed before Steve found himself in a headlock, panic filled him before he realised it wasn't tight and Billy was laughing.
"Want round two Harrington?" He joked. Steve heartily fought against Billy, managing to wriggle free.
"I would say yes but my boxing coach said I should save my efforts for real opponents, you know?" he jested. Billy smiled before turning back to the phone.
"Anyway, fuck off, I need to order this food."
The beatings were getting worse and more frequent. Billy used to only get hit if he did something wrong however now it seemed more like a routine. It didn't matter if Billy stayed out all night, not returning to the early hours, his father always made time to slap him around, whether he waited up for him or if it was in the morning. Billy had no idea why his dad had gotten so violent lately, he just wanted to barricade his room and never leave but he knew that his dad would find a way in. He always did. The longer it took for him to do so, the more pissed he became. Billy took the week out of school, usually his beatings were never evident, not unless he stripped but he was sporting a rather dark black eye and split lip which he knew would raise questions. It wasn't too far fetched for Billy to just say he got into a fight, but it was too much effort to keep up with the lies, it was easier to explain that he skipped out because he wanted to than to create some kind of fake fight. Max seemed to be hovering around him much more than usual, he still drove and picked her up from school, his father would just have more reason to hit him if he didn't. When Neil wasn't home and Billy found himself slumped on the sofa, Max always seemed to be sat on the other side. She never really said anything to him, but her presence this often was something Billy definitely was not used to.
That particular night, Neil was screaming into his son's face about something petty like Billy leaving his jacket on the couch. Of course, the boy had uttered his apologies, but apologies seemed to mean nothing to Neil anymore, he couldn't leave Billy's room unless he'd rendered the boy semi-broken. After a couple punches to the cheek, nose and temple, Billy was starting to get dizzy. At this point Billy was surprised his skull hadn't shattered into a million pieces a long time ago. Neil readied himself for one more punch when something odd consumed Billy, a surge of courage, or stupidity, however one would conceive it, but he pushed his father back with all his might.
"Get the fuck off me!" He yelled. The look on Neil's face terrified Billy to his very core, it was almost demonic the way his eyes bore into his son with such a rage. Billy had no idea what it was but he felt something heavy and blunt whack into his head just above his temple. He fell to the ground and the pain radiated through his whole body, he felt a warm thick wetness trickling down his face which made his stomach churn. He looked up at his father who held some old trophy that Billy had won as a kid, what a prize it turned out to be. In his disorientated state he managed to clamber to his feet desperately, he'd never run like he did past his father and out the front door. He'd only grabbed a hoodie from the coat hangers, not even having the chance to grab his car keys, he sprinted out onto the street where the rain pattered down violently whilst his father angrily called after him.
He didn't know how long he ran for, he ran until his lungs looked like they were about to collapse. Pain was all he could think about, the throbbing pain of the entirety of his head, the ache in his lungs, the sting of healing ribs. He was a mess. Billy was drenched when he approached a nearby bus stop, with no bench under the small shelter he sunk to the floor where he finally let himself cry. Billy Hargrove would never admit it aloud, but he was scared. So fucking scared. Scared of what his father would do to him next time he came home, or scared of his father coming in search and finding him, scared that this would never end, and Billy would forever be stuck in his hideous routine of pain until his father eventually took it too far. He just wanted to disappear into complete nothingness, just remove himself from existence because maybe then it just wouldn't hurt so damn much.
Steve could barely hear the radio over the sound of the rain hitting his windscreen. His wipers were swiping as fast as they could but, yet Steve was still more or less blinded as he drove. The week had been slow. Nancy was still giving him the silent treatment and subsequently so was Jonathan which wouldn't've been a problem if Billy had actually turned up for school. He hadn't seen the younger since that night they babysat and a small part of him wondered if Billy's absence had anything to do with him. They had gotten on right? It was completely crazy that Steve didn't think of calling Billy an asshole once and that he'd genuinely had a fun time with the other guy, just stuffing their faces and listening to their favourite records. Billy had even said he'd do it again as he stood under the doorframe, leading Max towards the car, the prospect of hanging out with the Californian boy had excited Steve which only led to disappointment when Billy was a complete no show at school. Steve had even tried to question Max on Billy's whereabouts, but she usually just shrugged her shoulders or simply left it at 'He's not well.' After a couple days, he just stopped asking, assuming that hanging out with Billy was short lived and over now.
The rain was dropping an entire ocean to the ground, the roads were practically flooded with rainwater, he was certain he'd heard some thunder in the background. He drove slow, not trusting his visibility, he point blank refused to damage his car in anyway, his car was way too precious to him. He had just dropped Dustin home after picking him up from the arcade, It was a Friday, meaning there must be some party going on, or at least something fun to do. Steve silently cursed himself because of course he wasn't invited to anything, he didn't really have any friends, not anymore. He just simply ran around following a bunch of kids, hoping that their demands would occupy his time. How sad was that? Steve was nearing his house when he drove past the bus stop. He drove past it everyday and it was not special in the slightest but for some reason that day his eyes were drawn to it, that day he noticed the figure hunched up in the corner. Whoever it was, they were probably waiting for the rain to let up, it was too late for the buses to be running. It was no skin off his nose if he gave whoever it was a lift, he couldn't imagine being stuck out in this rain. He stopped the car before pulling his jacket over his head and running towards the shelter, leaving his engine still running.
"Hey, do you want a lift somewhere? I don't think there's anymore buses ton-" The figure looked up at Steve and he completely lost his train of thought. There was so much blood. "Billy? Are you- what happened?" Billy shot up onto two feet, anger apparent on his features.
"Get back in the car and fuck off Harrington." He ordered. Steve was confused. Not only had he found Billy bloodied and bruised after a week of no interaction but he was back to being aggressive.
"You need a hospital, come on, I'll drive you." Steve offered, hoping it would defuse the situation. Just like he had done their first fight, Billy shoved Steve, sending the lankier boy to the ground, getting absolutely drenched in the rain.
"What the fuck? I'm trying to help?" that crazy laugh he hated so much escaped Billy's lips as he looked down at him.
"I don't need your fucking help Harrington! You've always gotta stick that damn nose of yours into other people's business don't you! Have you not got anything better to do with your pathetic life?" Billy yelled angrily. He looked like he wanted to hit Steve who was still on the ground, but the punch never came which surprised the now drenched brunette. It was in that second that Steve realised Billy had not changed in the slightest, Billy didn't wanna be his friend, Billy still hated him. Steve had been so desperate to find a friend, to find just the slightest bit of accompaniment that he was willing to ignore the fact that Billy was probably the shittiest human being he had ever laid eyes upon. Steve clambered to his feet before snapping back at Billy.
"No, I was just trying to be a decent human being which is clearly something you are clearly incapable of! You are literally the most dislikeable cunt I have ever met! You clearly deserved that from whoever had the common sense to beat you up." The words had barely left his mouth when Steve felt himself being slammed against the side of his car, the impact and surprise winded him as he felt Billy's weight pin him down. The rain trickled down off Billy's face that was merely a few inches away from Steve's.
"You say that to me again and I will kill you and don't think I won't. I came close before and I'll happily do it again." He spat, his voice completely venomous. Steve completely believed the words, without a doubt knew that Billy was perfectly capable of going that far so he said nothing, simply glaring at him. Billy spat in his face before letting go and sulking off in the rain, leaving Steve wiping spit from his eye angrily. He really fucking hated Billy Hargrove.
Despite the black eyes and cuts, Billy deems it as time to return to school, he couldn't spend another moment cooped up in the house where his father continuously tortured him. So, on the Monday morning he readied himself, attempting to make himself look as presentable as possible with all the bruising. He usually took great pride in his appearance but looking in the mirror made him feel sick, just seeing how pathetic he looked with the large gash running from his hair line and purple shadowing under his cheekbones. There was nothing he could do to hide it though, so he set off to school with Max in tow, she tried to speak to him as he drove, but he only turned up the radio to drown her out. After dropping her off he drove like maniac towards the high school. Surprisingly he wasn't late however it didn't work for his benefit. Seemingly the whole school was staring at him as he approached the entrance, cigarette hanging from lips. He glared at everyone who even glanced at him for a second, he really was in no mood to even have one of the small town inbreeds to even breathe near him. He stalked down the hallway when his gaze met with one he really didn't want it to. Steve Harrington was glaring back from his locker.
Billy had been completely riddled with guilt from the moment he had left Harrington in the rain. He knew the older boy had just been trying to help, for crying out loud, he didn't even know it was Billy when he pulled over but yet Billy still managed to fuck it up. In any other scenario Billy wouldn't have even lost a wink of sleep but the fact it was Steve filled him with regret. The last couple weeks had been hard for Billy, with how angry his father had been Steve offered an escape that he'd never experienced before. He had to admit that at the party it had never been his intention to hang out with Harrington, in fact he'd approached him in hopes of putting in his place but Steve ended up impressing him, he also turned out to be a pretty decent guy. Not that he didn't know that before, after beating the shit out of Steve he sort of convinced himself that the guy was a complete ass in some way shape or form, he needed some way to justify himself after all. But then when Steve invited him to babysit? At first he thought it was such a stupid idea, he was just going to pretend he was busy or something and just drop Max off but after his dad choking him out, the idea of hanging out with Steve seemed like a form of utopia. But of course, he had to fuck that up.
When Steve had found him he'd been so scared, so hurt, the idea of someone actually giving a shit was just an alien concept because if his own father couldn't care less if he was breathing or not, why the hell would Harrington? But of course Steve let him know his true thoughts, reminding Billy of what a poor excuse of a human being he was. Every word Steve said was completely true, and of course Billy had to back the statement up with his actions, but it didn't change the fact it hurt. He'd stupidly convinced himself that Steve was some kind of safe space, someone who he could scream, hit and hurt without pure hatred being returned but clearly that was wrong. It was wrong that he even thought that way that he could use people that way but he did. No matter how much he fought with himself about it, his anger was something he could never gain control of. He figured that it was just how he was exactly like his father.