Disclaimer: ch. 1

.*.*.*.*.*.

Cymbeline stood on the wall above the gate and watched Arthur lead the group into the forest beyond the fields. Guinevere stood beside her. "They'll come back," the queen reassured the knight.

"I know," Cymbeline nodded, wrapping her arms around her waist.

Guinevere glanced at her friend. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just worried for them," Cymbeline laughed. She smiled up at the queen—who was several inches taller than her—and changed the subject. "Anyways, I'm not the one who has to rule Albion while the king is gone."

Guinevere laughed. "Don't fool yourself. I will probably be asking you for more than a little advice until they return."

Cymbeline laughed and turned back to the city as Galahad, the last in the group of riders, vanished into the trees. "Let's go. I've knights to train; you've farmers' disputes to settle. We've got to keep this place running and safe until Arthur and the knights return or there won't be anywhere for them to return to."

.*.*.*.*.*.

A month and a half had passed since Arthur and the knights had departed for Sarmatia. Now summer was in full swing. The crops outside the fort walls were growing tall, most of the tavern's business had moved outside to the open-sided pavilion along the street, and three of the trainees—Branwyr, Daniel, and Dagonet—had been dubbed full-fledged knights by the queen to help cover for the absent knights.

In the tavern, Vanora groaned and straightened up, pressing a hand in the small of her back. "Are you alright?" Olwyn, Culhwch's wife, appeared by her side, hovering nervously.

"Dear God, girl, I'm pregnant, not made of glass," Vanora grumbled. She rested a hand on the growing bump of her stomach.

"I can't believe Bors would leave you here alone, for who knows how long, and pregnant with his child," Olwyn shook her head.

"Well, it's not like I've never done this before," Vanora retorted.

"Twelve times before," Cymbeline added from halfway across the tavern.

"Ten," Vanora corrected. "I have twelve children, but I've only been pregnant ten times, because there are two sets of twins."

"Right," Cymbeline nodded. "I didn't think of that."

"But still," Olwyn protested. "If I were pregnant and Culhwch abandoned me, I'd not be too happy with him. Even if I had been pregnant ten times before. Which I honestly hope I'm not, no offense Vanora."

"None taken," the woman shrugged.

"Hey!" Sebille piped up from the corner.

"The only good thing to come from pregnancy is the child," Vanora said. "The entire experience is uncomfortable and unpleasant, and I certainly never wanted to go through it eleven times—or even twice. That said, I am so happy with all of my children, even if I never sleep because of them."

Sebille rolled her eyes but accepted her mother's response. "Fair enough."

"You'll understand exactly what I mean when you get married and start having children of your own," Vanora replied.

"For now, aren't you supposed to be training with Kei?" Cymbeline piped up.

"No," Sebille replied. "Definitely not." She grabbed her dagger from the table beside her and left the inn.

"I told him to go," Vanora said, turning to Olwyn. "Bors. I told him that he should go with the others. He very nearly stayed. We spent the entire night talking before he finally decided."

"What made him leave?" Olwyn asked.

"His loyalty to Arthur, I think," Vanora replied. "Bors is loyal to me and our children above everything, but there are many times that I'm nearly convinced his loyalty to Arthur outranks even us. But I do think it's best that he went along; if they encounter trouble, every hand could be needed."

"And Bors will probably be enough to make anyone that might give them trouble think twice," Cymbeline laughed.

"Any of them should be enough for that," Olwyn laughed.

"Did he know?" Cymbeline asked. "Bors; did he know that you were pregnant? I know you told us, but had you told him?"

"I told him before we began our discussion," Vanora nodded. "I wanted him to know. He had guessed anyways; after ten times, he's gotten good at knowing without me saying."

The other girls laughed. Olwyn, finally accepting Vanora's answer, headed for the kitchen. Cymbeline sat down on the bench across from Vanora. "What's wrong?" Vanora asked.

"I never said anything was wrong," Cymbeline shrugged. "I just wanted to talk to you. We haven't had much time lately."

Vanora arched an eyebrow. "You've been helping around here more than you have since Arthur made you a knight. We've talked more than we have in years."

"Right," Cymbeline nodded. She looked down at her hands, folded on the table, and twiddled her thumbs.

Vanora sighed. "You have a minute to tell me what's wrong or I'm going to go back to work."

"I'm pregnant," Cymbeline blurted.

"Well, I knew that," Vanora shrugged.

"You did?"

"This is my eleventh time, and I've known many other women who have children. It's quite obvious."

"Oh," Cymbeline slouched.

"I assumed that you were spending so much time here because you are worried about how your duties as a knight will affect the baby," Vanora continued. "I have also assumed that you have yet to tell anyone about this."

"Yes," Cymbeline nodded. "You're the first."

"You need to tell Kei. He is the one that you work with the most, and he should know," Vanora said. Cymbeline opened her mouth to reply, but Vanora continued. "You should also tell Bedivere. He's a healer, and may have advice for you. And you should tell Guinevere. She needs to know that soon you will be unable to perform any of your duties as a knight."

Cymbeline sighed. "I know. I just… I don't know. It feels strange. And I don't really know how to tell anyone. It's different with you, but the others…"

Vanora nodded understandingly. "You'll get more comfortable with it." She eyed the girl up. "I'm surprised Gawain left knowing that you are pregnant. Bors had a hard enough time deciding. He wouldn't have gone if this were our first child." She paused. "Well, he might have. We weren't particularly close when we had our first child. But never mind."

"I didn't tell him," Cymbeline turned red and stared intently at her hands.

"Gawain?"

"Yes," Cymbeline looked up, eyes full of tears. "I didn't want it to affect his decision to leave or stay, and I thought it was important that he go, for many reasons. He would have stayed if he knew. I couldn't be, and I couldn't let our child be, the reason he never saw his family again or gave them a proper goodbye."

Vanora nodded. "He will be more than a little upset with you when he gets back."