CHRISTINE'S P.O.V.
Two months and a half months later it was the night before Thanksgiving in the United States, but in Ireland, for most people, it was just another morning as dawn broke through the darkness of night. I stood on the back deck of the home I purchased the month before in Athlone, Ireland looking out over the gardens thinking that I was only 3,591 miles away from Chicago but in reality it felt as if I was a million miles away. I had left Chicago the morning after the twins christening at Old St. Pat's Church. Before we left I told Jay I was only going to be gone for two weeks but between finding two hotels I wanted to buy and needing to once again get away from the drama and chaos at home, the two weeks has extended to two months. I Skype with him three times a week so the twins will recognize him when we go back to Chicago. He pretty much doesn't acknowledge me during those calls. He primarily talks to Aiden and Quinn. The only time he addresses me is to ask questions about them. He was not happy when I told him we wouldn't be back for Thanksgiving. I had invited him to Ireland but he declined the offer, and instead made a comment about Kelly being there. Kelly has come over twice to visit since I've been here. He adores the twins and they get so excited whenever they see him.
I know I truly have made a mess of things and I'm not sure how to make things better. I just tried calling and texting Jay again and didn't get a response. I know Jay's not happy about my relationship with Kelly, and to be perfectly honest, I'm not even sure as to what that relationship really is. I don't love Kelly...not romantically. I adore him as a friend, but I don't feel the way he wants me to feel. I don't feel about him the way he feels about me. God knows I tried. I thought someone stable would be the best option for me and the twins, but I miss Jay. God I miss him so much.
I want him here with me. I want to see the house that he owns as well. I added his name to the deed when I bought the house. Just as I had added his name, months and months ago to the deeds of the homes in Chicago and Myrtle Beach. The house in Ireland is lovely. I decided on a location in between Galway and Dublin and the small town of Athlone was perfect. The house itself was too good of an offer to pass up and especially since I want to purchase two more hotels in Ireland I thought it would be good to have a base of operations. The bright & open entryway was gorgeous with hard wood floors and stained glass windows leading up the staircase that wrapped around heading up to the second floor. To the left of the entryway was a light color carpeted family room which ran the length of the house (from front to back). With its bay windows, overlooking the lush gardens, fireplace and cathedral ceiling I knew when I first saw it I would be spending lots of time in this room with the twins.
To the right of the entryway was a gorgeous formal dining room. The two crystal chandeliers with silver accents hanging down in the center of the room were exquisite. Six LED candles popped up out of the top of the chandeliers with the crystals hanging below. The three floor to ceiling windows looked out over a small garden on the other side of the house. The room was painted in a light blue and because I had loved the floor and mahogany trim when I first saw the house I bought a mahogany dining table to sit underneath the two chandeliers. The table sat ten. There were ten white chairs, four on each side of the table and one on each end, that added a sophisticated style to the room. The chairs featured a tall wingback design with button tufting, hardwood mahogany legs and leather-like vinyl upholstery over generously padded cushioning. The light gray and blue drapes allowed direct sunlight to stream into the room. The far wall held twelve black & white photos of some of my favorite places in Ireland and were set in white matting and white frames. The dark mahogany trim matched the color of the hardwood floor that ran throughout the room.
The spacious eat-in kitchen with its marble floor, had granite countertops, oak cabinets and stainless steel appliances. With plenty of counter and cabinet space I thought of all the wonderful meals I could cook here. There was a small room off the kitchen, which I turned into an office, and another half bath that completed the first floor. The french doors off the kitchen opened onto a deck that overlooked a decent size back yard.
The four bedrooms at the top of the staircase almost put the downstairs to shame. The master bedroom and private bathroom almost took up one entire side of the second floor of the house. The room, just like my bedroom in Chicago, was large enough for a king-size bed. The bathroom was even more impressive than my master bath in Chicago. Yes, there were the dual sinks but instead of a claw-footed bathtub there was a sunken jacuzzi tub with a stand up shower stall (with a large rain-style shower head plus a built in stone bench). The two bedrooms on the other side of the staircase are the children's bedrooms. Both were a good size and connected by a bathroom with dual sinks. The fourth bedroom on the second floor was Mary's bedroom. The house was gorgeous and somehow tied its modern interior without fully replacing the outer traditional Irish look of the house (the brick outside, the gardens, stained glass windows, etc).
From the outside, for all appearances, I'm sure my neighbors thought I had it all. Two beautiful children, a gorgeous home, a hot firefighter who showed up once a month, a Nanny and two bodyguards. O'Malley and Luis decided to stay on with me even though I told Uncle Paddy I was done with the family business. Surprisingly he took it better than I had expected. He told me he understood with everything I had been through in less than a year. But then reminded me I still needed to watch my back. The Cartel still had a price on my head. Hank, took the news well but I know he is disappointed. He really thought I would be the way for him to take down the Mob and the Mafia. It was getting too risky. I had to think about the kids and after my house in Chicago got raided by Erin and her team I couldn't risk that happening again.
KELLY'S P.O.V.
As I stand here and look out the doors onto the back deck my heart breaks...it breaks for me and for Christine. I'm in love with her. I have been since I first met her at Molly's over a year and a half ago. The first time she smiled and looked at me with those Caribbean blue eyes of hers I was done. Then Halstead came into the picture. I figured it would pass and even after she got pregnant I still would have done anything for her. Now I would do anything for her and the twins. I know she doesn't love me. I can see it in the smile that doesn't totally light up her face. She tried, I believe that, but she's in love with Halstead. I don't know if he will ever forgive her for walking in on us the morning after the twins' welcome home party.
FLASHBACK
KELLY'S P.O.V.
After Christine told me I didn't have to apologize for kissing her and then pulled me down for another kiss I decided to show her how much I wanted her...how much I needed her...how much I loved her. I picked her up and carried her upstairs to her bedroom. I laid her on the bed and ran my hands through her hair as I pulled her mouth towards mine. "Kelly..." she whispered. "I'm not ready for this yet. I'm sorry. It's just been so overwhelming and so difficult. I can't...I'm just not ready." she said as tears that were once again caused by Halstead streamed down her face. I held her through the night, just happy to be with her. I woke up the next morning because I heard a noise. I looked up to see Jay standing in the doorway looking like someone had punched him in the stomach. The look of pain on his face, pain that was caused by what he thought had happened, could have been alleviated if I had just stopped him. Instead, I let him think that Christine and I had sex. I mean, I was shirtless in her bed and she was wrapped in my arms. He turned, without saying a word and left. When Christine woke up a short time later I told her that Jay had seen us. She automatically tried to contact him, but other than talking about the kids he didn't want anything to do with her.
PRESENT DAY
KELLY'S P.O.V.
Because of that morning he has barely spoken to her in two months. I knew she was hurting. I could see it. Yes, she did a good job in keeping up appearances but there was a spark in her eyes that was missing. She had also lost weight and had been sick over the past couple of days. I know the stress is eating at her, which is why I'm taking her and the twins back to Chicago today.
"Hey." I said as I walked out onto the back deck. "Hi." she replied. "I hope I didn't wake you. I was awake early and couldn't go back to sleep. Are you hungry? I can make some breakfast before the twins wake up and need to be fed." "I'm good. Christine, we need to talk. Everyone is worried about you. You're not yourself and I know it has to do with Jay and what happened. I've already talked to Luis, O'Malley and Mary. O'Malley contacted your pilots. We're flying back to Chicago this afternoon. We're scheduled to take off just before 4:00pm. That will put us in Chicago around 7:00pm local time." I told her. She looked at me in surprise and with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry Kelly. I'm sorry for everything." she said. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I'll always love you but I would rather have you in my life as a friend than nothing else. I want you to be happy and if that means I need to have a talk with Halstead to set the record straight, then I will." I replied as I leaned over and kissed the top of her head before walking back in the house.
CHRISTINE'S P.O.V.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I don't know if going back to Chicago is the right option for me but I do know I couldn't keep the twins away from Jay forever. I didn't want to keep them away from him. I just don't know how to co-parent with him when my heart is broken. When my heart is broken and I'm ten weeks pregnant. I'm pretty sure I got pregnant the last night Jay and I were together. The night before Erin came to town. I took a test last week, before Kelly got here, and know that I need to schedule an appointment with my OB/GYN back in Chicago. It hasn't been an easy pregnancy so far and I have been sick more often than not. I was worried about the pregnancy and how Jay was going to handle the news.
Once I recovered from the news that we were going home, I asked Kelly to keep it quiet until the next morning. I wanted to surprise Jay by bringing the twins to the District the next morning. I quickly got the house closed up and we headed to the airport where the jet was fueled and ready to go. The nine and a half hour flight was thankfully relatively uneventful. I had the twins settled back home in their cribs by 9:00pm and I crawled into bed. The twins and I both slept for ten hours. The next morning I got ready while Mary bathed and fed them. I dressed in a pair of tight dark blue jeans tucked into my new knee high black suede boots and a black v-neck fitted sweater. My auburn hair, dried and styled to perfection with loose curls almost reached the middle of my back. My makeup, carefully applied, was subtle but definitely covered the bags under my eyes. I wore diamond stud earrings, a matching diamond pendant necklace and the birthstone bracelet Jay had given me. After I was dressed it was time to get the kids ready. I dressed Aiden in a pair of jeans, a black long sleeve Harley-Davidson shirt with red and black sneakers. Where most babies lose their hair after being born, Aiden's started growing like crazy. He now had just as much hair as his sister, the same color as mine and Quinn's, but he had his Dad's beautiful green eyes. I put him in the pack-n-play and then picked up Quinn to get her dressed. Her blue eyes, the same shade as mine, looked at me and seemed to be searching my soul. It's almost like she could sense my nerves. I put her in a dress of purple, black and white stripes with black leggings and black shoes. Her auburn curly hair was held back by a purple head band. I never could keep shoes on either one of my children but wanted to try to pretend I could dress them.
With O'Malley in the passenger seat I made the drive the twenty-five minute drive to the District. Trudy wasn't at the desk. I was told she took the day after Thanksgiving off every year to go do her Black Friday shopping so they were going to have to call up to Hank's office before letting me go up. As the Desk Sargent picked up the phone Sean Roman walked through the front door. After telling the Sargent he would take me upstairs, he scanned his palm and I followed him through the gate with a twin on each arm. "Hey. Jay. You have a visitor." Sean said to which Jay replied, without looking up and in a nasty tone, "I thought I told you last week it's Detective Halstead." The bullpen went really quiet when everyone else looked up to see who was standing next to Roman. "I don't know kids. I don't think we came to visit Daddy on the best day. He sounds kind of grumpy." I said when I made it to the top of the stairs in that I'm-talking-to-a-baby-and-they-don't-understand-what-I'm-saying-but-I-want-them- to-smile tone of voice. The tone makes both Aiden and Quinn laugh...a sound that always makes me smile. "Hi." I said walking over to him noticing how shocked and happy he was to see his children. "Which one do you want first?" I asked. "How do I choose?" he asked, and that's when I realized because of my actions, his children had pretty much become strangers to him since they left the hospital. "Well thankfully, our children are pretty smart and at only 4 ½ months they will kind of hold their arms out to you. Just say want to come to Daddy and see which one puts their arms out. My guess is it will be Quinn." I told him. Jay followed my lead and it was Quinn who went straight to her Dad. It took every ounce of control to not break down, cry and beg him for forgiveness on the spot.
"Is that the laughter of my Grandson I hear?" Hank asked walking out of his office to see Aiden being entertained by Ruzek and Atwater. "They've gotten so big." he said as he walked over to give me a hug. "Yes, they have. Seeing them on Skype doesn't really do them justice, does it?" I asked. "No, it doesn't." Jay replied with all sorts of accusations and anger in his voice. Quinn, noticing the temperature change in the room, automatically started to fuss and put her arms out for me. "You have to keep your tone as constant and pleasant as possible. They can pick up on tense situations." Hank told Jay as he intercepted Quinn and calmed her down. "So, I was wondering if the two of you would like to come over on Sunday. Family dinner at my place. The three of us and the kids. I thought I would cook and we could catch up. And it would give the two of you a chance to spend some time with the twins. Tho, you don't need an invite to do that. The door is always open Jay, whenever you want to stop by." I said. "I'll be there. What time?" Hank asked. "What about 4:00pm? Will give us some time before dinner." I replied. "What about you, Jay?" I asked. "Do you mind if I bring someone with me? I have someone I typically spend Sunday's with." he replied. "Ummm, sure that's fine. Is it anyone I know? I didn't realize you were involved with anyone." I said, having a even harder time trying to keep my shit together. Kim surely would have told me if Jay was seeing someone. Or Hank would have mentioned it when we Skyped or texted over the past two months. "I think the person he was referring to is me." I heard a familiar voice say from behind me. "Erin, I didn't realize you were still in Chicago." I said, wondering if anyone else heard my heart break into a million pieces.