Chapter 14: the man behind the Crown

I washed my face and hands at one of the communal basins. I had let my grief consume me for a while but knew I wouldn't be able to hide in that temple forever, I could see Duncan and some of the other Grey Wardens gathered around the pyre. Alistair's mouth moved and the group burst out laughing, I envied that they laughed and wondered if I too would be able to laugh again. Everything just felt so fresh like a wound that wouldn't stop bleeding. I met Alistair's gaze and he waved me over, I shook my head, still not ready to join them yet. I needed to do something first, digging in my pack I pulled the flower from the wilds out and tracked down the kennel master. He filled my hand with a pouch of silver grateful to have the plant he so desperately needed. The wounded hound lifted his head as I turned to leave, and the kennel master stopped, asking me to wait. He guided me slowly to the animal, letting the dog sniff my hands. The mabari watched me with intelligent eyes, licking the tips of my fingers. I sunk to the ground next to the proud, beautiful beast, laying his head in my lap as I helped to clean and treat his wounds. Once his breathing steadied, the kennel master guided me from the kennel. The dog whined softly and I whispered a promise to return once he was feeling better.

I stopped by the food caravan on my way to the pyre. A hot bowl of stew in my hand as I approached.

"There she is!" Cailan exclaimed startling me into almost dropping my food. I bowed awkwardly and he laughed. "I was just asking about you, congratulations on becoming the newest Grey Warden."

"Thank you, your majesty," I murmured rising. He grinned and took a long drink from a tankard in his hand. I found a spot to sit by the fire and began eating quietly while Duncan and Alistair gave introductions. I nodded to my fellow Grey Wardens, watching them curiously, each had gone through the same ritual as me and I wondered if they had needed space afterwards as well. It would explain why they were not trying to push me into joining their conversation.

Cailan sighed loudly as a soldier whispered to him. He stood handing his tankard to a servant that darted forward. "You will have to excuse me I have to attend to some matters in my tent." he clasped hands with Duncan, turning to leave, glancing over his shoulder. "Fiera, would you come see me there later?"

My head snapped up from my dinner, surprised. I choked on a mouthful of food trying to answer the king. The wardens laughed, Alistair patted me firmly on the back trying to help clear the blockage. I coughed and took several drinks of water before answering hoarsely. "Yes ser." Cailan sent me a brilliant smile before leaving us.

Alistair watched the kings retreating back until he disappeared into his tent. "He's married you know, to Teirn Loghain's daughter." He crossed his arms and raised his eyebrow at me.

I took a long drink from my water skin, and frowned at Alistair, unsure what he was implying. "Lots of men are what's your point Alistair?"

He shrugged his shoulders, running his fingers through his short blond locks. "No point really, just giving you a fair warning."

I shook my head at the warden. "Why would you feel the need to warn me? You think he would try to force himself upon me?"

Alistair paled, "no, no nothing like that. It's just... I mean...," he stammered and I waited patiently for him to finish. He placed a warm palm against my arm concern in his eyes, "I just don't want to see you get hurt is all."

I glanced down at his tan hand against my pale skin, his touch sending a shiver through me. "I don't think that will be a problem," I said breathily. He studied my face for a long time, before withdrawing his hand and engaging another warden in conversation. I rose and disposed of my empty dishes and headed towards the kings tent, but I could feel Alistair's gaze follow as I walked away.

I ran quick hands over my hair trying to smooth down any stray hairs, and hoped I didn't have any food on my face. A guard detained me outside the king's tent, and I heard shouting inside. A few minutes passed and the Teirn lumbered out. "Do not make this all about your glory Cailan," he growled. "He who seeks glory, often dies a fool!" he scowled as he pushed past, and headed to his own tent.

I frowned at the guard, "does he always talk to the king like that?"

The guard narrowed his eyes in the direction of the Teirn, "Loghain and Cailan go way back. The Teirn fought side by side with Cailan's father Maric during the Orlesian occupation and his daughter is the queen, though all those two seem to do anymore is argue. Anyway, the king can see you now."

I nodded my thanks and pushed Cailan's tent flap open. The king stood with his back towards me, clad only in his breaches, washing his face above a small bowl. His skin glowed gold in the lantern lights, I quickly averted my eyes to the ground. Trying to look anywhere but the half-naked human. He rubbed a towel down his face and across his chest as he turned, a grin spreading across his face.

"Ah, warden Fiera, I had hoped you would come." he tossed the towel carelessly aside his hands grasping mine. My heart fluttered nervously at the contact.

I kept my gaze glued to the ground. "You did ask to see me your majesty," I murmured.

He laughed jovially, "Please there is no need to be formal. You can call me Cailan." he raised a finger to my chin raising my face to his. "I had thought we would share a drink and talk about some of the things you had mentioned before."

I swallowed roughly and nodded, trying to focus only on his face. He flashed a brilliant smile and I felt my knees go weak. "He was so handsome and charming." I thought. "Is this what Alistair had been trying to warn me about?" he released my chin, reaching to grab a tunic and tossed it over his head. Biting my lip I could not stop my gaze, following the fabric as it slid silkily over his shoulders, across his broad chest and over his abs. I blushed furiously, when he caught me staring. He grinned leading me to a small cushion to sit on, then went and got to cups and a bottle of whiskey. "This was a gift from the empress of Orlais," he purred pouring the amber liquid into our glasses and handed me one.

I accepted it graciously, grateful to have something to turn my attention to, besides him. I took a small sip, and was surprised how smooth it went down. The whiskey Shianni drank back home burned my throat so badly that I didn't like it at all. I took a second sip finding it just as pleasant as the first and smiled into my cup.

"I wonder what makes you smile so fondly," Cailan asked studying me over his own cup.

My eyes flicked to his face and my smile faded. "This is very nice; I don't think I've ever tasted good whiskey before."

"I'm glad you like it." His smiling face going serious. Something dark passed behind his blue eyes and I shivered.

I cleared my throat and licked my lips nervously. "What did you want to discuss?"

He drained his cup, pouring a second glass, watching me intently. "When we met you mentioned some things about the alienage but we didn't have time to go into details. I'd like to hear about them."

I tightened my fingers around the cup, "What do you know about the alienage?"

His face sobered and he shook his head sadly. "I will admit next to nothing. When my father was alive, he would never allow me to go into one. And after he passed away, other matters in the kingdom kept me away." he took a deep drink meeting my gaze. "But the stories I have heard..." he broke off on a sigh.

I nodded setting my drink down next to me. "I doubt the stories can truly describe how we live ser. it's not just the condition of the alienage though, it's how we are treated, many still see us as slaves and treat us that way in kind." I took a steady breath and began to describe how I grew up, of how the elves tried to survive, and how many woman where used and abused by humans. I choked back tears as I told him the details of my wedding day and how I had come to be conscripted by Duncan. He listened carefully while I spoke, his face a hard line when I described being attacked by Vaughn's men. I stared blindly at the tent wall when I had finished my tale. The memory as fresh as the day it happened. Cailan's hands slid over mine caressing my skin with the softest of touches. I blinked rapidly, letting the memory fade away and realized that the king had moved to kneel in front of me.

His eyes filled with sympathy and his voice was gentle when he spoke, "forgive me Fiera; I have done you and your people a great injustice by not looking it to this issue before. I promise once we have dealt with the darkspawn I will fix this."

I let out a shaky breath, "thank you Cailan."

His expression turned thoughtful, his fingers traced my forehead tucking a stray hair behind my ear. "You are so brave to have gone through all you have, but instead of falling apart like so many others would have; here you are stronger than ever. I don't think I have ever met anyone like you before."

I flushed pink to the tips of my ears. "My mother said that it's not how many times you get knocked down that matters, but how many times you get back up."

"She sounds like a wise woman," he said softly.

I looked down at our hands sadly, "she was, she's been gone almost ten summers now."

Cailan's palm cupped my cheek gently brushing a stray tear away. "I'm very sorry. I know what it's like to lose your mother." I nodded sadly sliding my hand over his lowering it from my face and tucking them into mine on my lap.

"when this war is over, I want you to join me at the palace in Denerim, together you and I will come up with new ways to improve life for the city elves." he pursed his lips thoughtfully, "in fact I will make you my adviser on all elven matters."

My jaw dropped, and I stared incredulously at the king. My forehead creasing in confusion. "Why me?"

He smiled deeply, a dark heat burning behind his icy blues as he caressed his fingers across my palms. "I remember looking up just as Duncan arrived, I was so excited to see him, then all of a sudden you appeared and the world melted away. I didn't see or hear anything except for this radiant crimson haired elven woman with emerald green eyes. I felt this connection to you from the start and when you looked into my eyes I felt you touch my soul," he purred pressing his forehead against mine. "Destiny brought you to me."

His lips pressed against mine in the barest of kisses, as if he were afraid I would disappear. Strong arms pulled against my back melting our bodies together. My mind went blank and I froze as he deepened the kiss, his hands burning my skin as they slid under the back of my armor. Gathering my wits, I pressed my palms against his chest and pushed him away.

"You're married,' I whispered breathlessly.

He grimaced sitting back on his heels. "Yes, to Anora, a marriage that was arranged when we were children. But I do not love her."

My gaze softened at the kings words; pulling the pendant out from under my armor, I fingered the wedding band from Nelarous. "I know what it is like to have a decision like that made for you. This was made by the man who I was supposed to marry, the one who died in Arl's mansion."

Cailan studied the ring carefully, running a finger across the etchings. "I guess I thought with your freedom, you would get to marry for love."

I let out a sharp bark of a laugh. "No we do not." I sucked in a sharp breath, "well not often anyway. Our elders find our mates for us; arranged marriages have gone on since we were slaves. My people care more about breeding than love."

"That is sad," he whispered releasing the ring. "Everyone should get to marry for love if they so choose."

"Have you ever been in love?" I asked curiously, running an idle finger along the top of my once forgotten glass.

"No," he shook his head sadly, his hand reaching for mine. "But if I were to fall in love, it would be with someone like you."

I scoffed, blushing deeply, turning my gaze to our now intertwined fingers. He grinned broadly, "I'm serious, and it's not just your beauty though. It's the way you carry yourself, the strength I see when I look at you. You're like a beacon on a dark night and I find myself drawn to your light."

"Cailan..." I whispered.

"Shhh..." he cooed pressing a soft kiss against my lips silencing me. "Promise me you'll come to Denerim and I will show you the world."

My heart fluttered wildly and I found myself agreeing to what the king asked. Cailan's face lit up with joy like a child's and he embraced me. Shortly after, I found myself outside the tent, my mind racing. Ancestors what had I just agreed too?