APRIL

THE DRAKE HOTEL, CHICAGO, FEBRUARY

Dressed in white with the comforting weight of my son in my arms, we sway to Beyonce's cover of 'At Last' in the middle of the dance floor.

We aren't alone, few other people are dancing, too, but it feels like just the two of us. His arms are looped loosely around my neck, head resting on my shoulder, as I hum the song into his ear.

Mine and Jackson's ceremony was beautiful. We hired a photographer, but I won't need pictures to remember how this night looks. When I walked down the aisle, Theo and Jackson were standing side-by-side, looking like the father and son they are. Theo's chest was puffed out as he proudly displayed the pillow that held the rings, and Jackson's lower lip was trembling.

Catherine, Jackson's mother, walked me down the aisle. Over the three months since Jackson and I became a couple, the two of us have gotten incredibly close. She gave me away to her son with a kiss on the cheek, and I stood across from him, ready to begin our lives together.

Now, I slow dance with the child who has always tied us. He's dressed in a tiny four-piece suit, tired out from the long day we've had and all the emotions that came with it.

"Mama," he says, voice a tiny peep under the long notes of the music.

I lean my head against his tame curls, the hair that Catherine styled earlier today. We hired a professional for mine - it's curled into an intricate updo with a jeweled pin on the side, one that Catherine passed down to me from her wedding. The hairstyle leaves my neck long and bare, something that Jackson took advantage of during our first dance to 'Unforgettable' by Nat King Cole.

"Yeah, baby?"

He lifts his head and rests his hands on my bare shoulders, thumbs running over the divots of my collarbones. "You and Daddy gotted a wedding," he says, a sleepy smile on his lips.

I lean forward and brush the tip of my nose against his. "You're right," I say. "We did. Are you happy?"

He nods, smile growing. "Really happy," he says. "And sleepy."

"I know you are, little man," I say, closing my eyes as we continue to sway. "It's been a full day for all of us."

"The goodest day," he says, and his voice sounds like it does right when he's about to fall asleep. "The bestest day ever."

"It was, wasn't it?" I say, then feel a wide palm skim between my shoulder blades. I look back and see Jackson standing there in his sharp tuxedo, his eyes standing out like crystals. "Hi," I say, smiling at my brand new husband.

"May I cut in?" he asks, voice low and smooth.

I look at Theo, who's blinking tiredly as he lifts his head again. "Wanna go see Grandma Catherine?" I ask, nodding.

"Yeah," he says softly.

I walk to the edge of the dance floor where Catherine is standing, having just gotten up from her seat. She smiles at us as we head her way, extending her arms for Theo as I get closer.

"Hi, my tired little grandbaby," she says, easily taking him from me.

"You don't mind?" I ask.

She gives me a look. "Honey," she says, pushing my shoulder gently. "Go dance with that handsome husband of yours."

I give her a smile and float to where Jackson stands, waiting for me. I fold myself against him as he holds the small of my back, gently taking my hand with the other. As my arms loop lazily around his neck, I gaze into his eyes and wonder how we got here.

"Peach," he says, resting his forehead against mine.

I close my eyes as my heart swells with joy. I clasp my fingers together behind his head and feel the cool metal of the 'forever' bracelet slip down my wrist just slightly.

"Baby," I reply.

He shakes his head subtly, pulling me closer.

"Nothing, really," he says. "I just wanted to say your name."

I open my eyes and smile at him, our lips only inches apart. "I'm right here," I say.

"I wouldn't have you anywhere else," he says.

I stroke the back of his head; his hair is closely shaved and much shorter than Theo's right now, but I like it. "You married me," I say, still somewhat in disbelief.

He chuckles. "You married me."

"We're married," I say, eyebrows lifting. "I can't believe we did this."

He steals a quiet, slow kiss and says, "I can."

As the night fades on, it comes time for Jackson and I to leave for the airport. Our honeymoon destination is Nantucket, Massachusetts - a small, island town where we can disappear for a week and forget about any and all real-life responsibilities.

"I'm gonna miss my baby," I say, pouting my lower lip as we seek out Catherine to say goodbye to our son. "This is the longest I've ever spent without him."

We lock eyes and the poignancy of my statement sinks in between the both of us. Jackson has spent much longer without Theo, but he doesn't need to say so. We're both on the same level now, not competing for how much we've personally missed out on or arguing over the decisions that were made in the past.

We're married now; a mature, adult couple. We're not the football player and cheerleader anymore, at least not on the outside.

"Are you two heading out?" Catherine asks as we approach her at the head table.

"Yeah," I say, immediately kneeling to Theo's level. He's passed out on his grandma's lap, facing out with his head lolled to the side. "Teddy," I say, stroking his cheek. "Wake up, baby, and say bye to Mommy and Daddy."

Slowly, his green eyes flutter open and light up with recognition when he sees me. "Mama?"

"Hi, sweet boy," I say, and sit in the chair next to Catherine so I can take him in my lap.

"Are you leaving, mama?"

"Yeah," I say, and he sits sideways with both legs hanging off mine, head on my chest. "We wanted to say bye to you before we left, though."

"I already miss you," he says, voice small.

"I know," I say. "I already miss you, too. But I promise to send postcards, and bring you back some really special things."

He nods, and Jackson comes close to rub his back.

"Where are you takin' Mama, daddy?" Theo asks, peering up at his father.

"To an island called Nantucket," Jackson says, crouching next to our chair. "It's out east off Massachusetts."

"I know that state," Theo says. "It's between Connecticut and New Hampshire."

"Very good," Jackson says, kissing his son's head. "Learn lots while we're gone so you have stuff to teach us when we get back, okay?"

Theo nods, tracing the chain of the necklace around my neck. "Will you call me all the time, mommy?" he asks.

"Of course I will," I say, rocking him slightly. My eyes burn, threatening tears, as in this moment he feels like my small infant again. The one I rocked to sleep on impossible nights, wondering how far we'd make it. And now, we're comfortable in a place I never thought we'd reach.

"I love you, babe," Jackson says, taking Theo's hand and kissing it. Theo shoots him a soft smile, then sits up and throws his arms around his father's neck.

"No swear jarring, daddy," he says. "Or else I'll know. Mommy will tell me."

"Oh, she will, will she?"

He nods.

"I'll try and remember," Jackson says, then kisses his son. "Have a good week with Grandma. You be good."

"I will," Theo says.

"I love you," I tell him, cupping his cheeks in my hands. He holds onto my wrists and looks earnestly into my eyes. "I love you, my special little prince."

He smiles bashfully, closing his eyes and turning his head as I use that term of endearment. "I love you, too, mama," he says. "Come back really soon."

I fall asleep on both plane rides - the commercial jet and the private plane to the tiny island, and Jackson holds tight to my hand as I do. When we finally arrive, it's the middle of the night and the whole place seems to be asleep as we check into our hotel.

"It's so quiet," I say, staring out the window with my hands pressed against the cool windowpane.

"You gotta get used to it, city girl," Jackson says, coming up behind me.

I look at him over my shoulder, wearing a smirk. "So do you." I turn around so I can wind my arms around his middle. "Actually, there are a lot of things you have to get used to. We're married now, so you have to deal with all the annoying things about me."

"Oh, yeah?" he says, teasing me.

"Yeah," I say. "Like… how I clean up your plate before you're done eating. Or when I hog the remote and keep the volume way too low, or force you to go to church on Sundays."

"Those things aren't annoying," he says, nudging my nose with his. "And the best thing about me is that I don't do anything annoying."

I laugh, loud and brash. "Oh, sure."

"It's true," he says. "Bet you can't name one thing."

"I can name way more than one," I say. "But we don't have all night. How about you leave your dirty boy socks tucked under the covers because you kick them off at night? I think I found about five pairs last laundry day."

"Fluke," he says, smirking.

"You pull my hair when you try and braid it," I say.

"Not my fault I can braid better than you," he says. "And if I remember correctly… there are others times when you've asked me to pull your hair… very different situations…"

I swat his arm. "Sometimes you have really bad morning breath," I say. "And bad eye crust."

"Now you're just being mean."

"And," I continue, a devilish smile growing on my lips as my hand slips lower. "This pokes me hard in the ass almost every morning," I say, cupping his bulge in my palm.

"As if you're complaining," he says, then holds my neck so he can kiss me.

He undresses me slowly, unbuttoning my dress from behind - the one I changed into out of my wedding gown - slipping it over my shoulders with his lips on the nape of my neck.

"My wife is so beautiful," he says, sliding his arms around to my belly, which he holds with flat hands. "So beautiful."

I smile as I look down at the floor, ghosting over his hands with my own. I've never felt luckier to have him here with his arms wrapped tight around me.

"We should consummate our marriage," I say, walking towards the immaculate bed. I sit down in my white bra and underwear, and Jackson kneels to rest between my slightly parted knees.

"To follow tradition," he says. "I want to make you feel good first."

"Jackson…" I say, smoothing one hand over his head.

His eyes glint when he looks at me. "I need to go down on my wife," he says, then licks his lips. "Jesus, that felt amazing to say."

While he eats me out, I keep both hands on his head as I stay sitting up straight. I hold onto his ears, tightening my knees on his shoulders, and chew on my lower lip hard.

"You're so… good," I moan, fingernails scraping his skin. "Oh, god, baby. Don't stop… please, please don't stop…"

He scoots me closer to the edge of the bed and throws my legs over his shoulders so quickly that my hands fly behind me for support. He pushes his tongue inside me, through the warm wetness, and drags it in slow circles over the spot that makes sparks shoot behind my eyes.

I throw my head back as my chest heaves with exertion. He grips the outside of my thigh roughly as his tongue continues to work, and I can't control the sounds coming from my mouth.

When I come, I pull him closer with all my might. I wrap my legs around his shoulders and yank him forward as my back lifts from the mattress, turning to one side while involuntarily whimpering and groaning.

"My god," I pant. "Oh, my god..."

"Your husband knows how to use his tongue," Jackson says, licking his lips.

I practically attack him on the floor, pushing him onto his back to get him out of his pants and button-up shirt. I can barely get his boxer-briefs halfway down his legs before I take his erection in my hand and sink down onto it, bracing my hands on his chest for support.

His hands fly to my hips, moving them slowly. "Fuck," he whispers, running a hand roughly up my back. "You're amazing. Jesus, Peach, you feel amazing."

We have sex on the bedroom floor, on the bed, against the wall, and lastly, in the shower. It started off quick and dirty and ends slow and sensual, just the way we like it. And as the sun comes up, we're spent - lying next to each other among very messed up sheets.

"I love you," he says, trailing his fingers down the middle of my chest, between my breasts, over the vein he loves.

I take his hand and kiss his fingertips, not bothering to open my eyes. I know his body so well already, have everything memorized.

"I love you so much," I respond, barely able to form words from how tired I am.

I feel his face edge towards mine, the tip of his nose touching my cheekbone. "We're married."

I smile, curling towards him as he wraps me up in his strong body. Just before I fall asleep in the arms of my husband, I repeat, "We're married."

JACKSON

LINCOLN PARK, CHICAGO, AUGUST

"Careful, careful," I say.

"I can shut the car door, honey," April says. "I'm fine."

"You just had a baby," I say. "You're fragile. Let me… can you just let me?"

She smiles, setting the baby carrier down in the driveway so she can pick our newborn baby girl up out of it.

"April, are you sure you… we can do that once we get inside…"

"Baby, it's okay," she says, reassuringly. "I've had an infant before. Okay? You gotta trust me. I know what I'm doing."

I take a deep breath and lead the way inside, where Theo and my mother are waiting. Theo met his baby sister briefly at the hospital, but it was a rushed interaction. This is the first time he'll get to see her up close and actually hold her, which is what he's been looking forward to for months.

"I'll get the door," I say.

April smiles at me again, cradling our little girl close. Her name is Tessa Noelle, and she's beautiful. The most beautiful thing I've ever seen, this tiny baby that came from us. Theo helped pick out the name Tessa, and her middle name comes from the fact that April told us about her on Christmas.

April's pregnancy went well. We didn't have any scares, and she handled it with grace for almost the whole nine months. I soaked in every moment, being that this was the first time I got to experience my baby while it was still inside her, and did everything I could to document each moment. I talked to the bump every night before bed, took birthing classes with April, and felt the first kick.

Now, it feels like Tessa was always meant to be a part of our family. She is the piece we didn't know was missing.

I walk inside first and hold open the front door for April, who comes in carefully. Theo appears from around the corner from the kitchen, in the house that still feels new, with a look of wonder on his face.

"Is that my sister?" he whispers, hands covering his mouth.

"Yes," April says, now completely inside. "This is your sister, Tessa Noelle."

My mom comes around the corner, too, looking smitten though she can't even see the baby yet. "You're home!" she enthuses, waving us to come sit on the couch. "How was the ride?"

"Terrifying."

"Fine."

Mom chuckles and we all sit down, Theo right next to April. "Theo," April says. "Tessa told me that she wants to meet you first."

His eyes light up as he tries to keep still, tries to contain his excitement.

"You have to be gentle, and hold her with strong arms. Can you do that?" she says.

He nods. "I can hold her good, mommy."

"Okay," April says. "I trust you."

She gently sets Tessa into Theo's sturdy, waiting arms, and I watch his face as he gazes down at his newborn sister. His eyes graze over her features and he smiles after a few moments have passed, then looks back up at us.

"She's so tiny," he says. "What color eyes does she have? Will she open them so I can see?"

"She will eventually," April says. "She's really tired right now."

"Babies sleep a lot," I tell him. "Especially at first."

"Did I sleep a lot?" Theo asks.

April nods. "You slept a lot, and you loved cuddling with me. I think you're gonna have to show Tessa how awesome cuddling with Mom is."

Theo smiles back down at the baby. "I will," he says.

My mom takes a turn holding the baby, rocking her slightly while asking us a bunch of questions that go in one ear and out the other. Theo is anxious to see his sister again, craning his neck to look at the bundle my mom is holding.

I keep one arm around the small of April's back. I know how tired she is, but that smile never fades.

"I'm gonna be the bestest big brother," Theo says. "I promise. I'm gonna teach her all about Teddy Roosevelt, and maybe how to skateboard once Daddy teaches me. And I'll always help her with her homework, especially the math stuff if she doesn't like it."

I lean to kiss his head. "You're gonna be great, buddy," I say.

April wraps her arms around Theo, who's grown taller in the past near-year since I've known him, and buries her face in his curls. "No matter how much attention Tessa needs from us," she says. "I don't want you to forget how much I love you. Okay?"

"Okay," he says.

"Good," she says, cheek squished against his head.

I smile at the two of them, then at my mom holding my newborn daughter, and don't think I could ask for much more.

APRIL

LINCOLN PARK, CHICAGO, THE FOLLOWING SEPTEMBER - ONE YEAR LATER

I brush my hair out of my face as I walk down the sidewalk leading to our house, squinting against the sun as it's coming down. I'm headed home after a long day of work, from the business I finally own - my chiropractic practice is flourishing in Lakeview, and I'm in a better place career-wise than I've ever been.

I walk up the front steps, seeing lights on inside. I knew they would be - Jackson picked Theo up from school today and stayed home with Tessa since he's on off-season.

"I'm home," I call when I walk through the front door, setting my bag on the bench in the entryway and kicking off my shoes. "Where are my babies?"

"Mama's home!" Theo says, and I hear the sound of a chair pushing out before Jackson stops him.

"Wait, wait. Finish this problem, you're almost done. She'll come in here in a second."

I smile to myself, hearing Jackson's 'dad voice.' I make fun of him for it sometimes, how his tone will change and become firmer when he's laying down the law. Gently, of course.

Then, a shriek sounds that can be no one else's but my Tessa's.

"I'm coming!" I say, walking through to the kitchen where my family is. Jackson is at the stove cooking something that smells amazing, Theo is sitting at the countertop next to where Tessa is in her highchair, covered in sauce from Spaghettio's.

"Hi, mommy," Theo says, grinning with a pencil in his hand.

"Hey, baby," I say, passing and kissing his temple. "Doing good on homework?"

"Yeah," he says. "Daddy's helping."

"He's the best," I say, then stop by my daughter. "Hi, baby girl! Hi, honey."

She smiles her four-toothed smile and tips her head back to look at me. "Mama," she says, extending her saucy hands.

"You're messy," I say. "Wait 'til I'm out of work clothes, then I'll hug on you. But give me a kiss now! Give Mama a kiss."

She gives me an open-mouthed, sauce-covered kiss on the lips and I hold her head while she does. And after I pass her, I sidle up to Jackson and wind one arm around his waist from the side, leaning my head against his upper arm.

"Hi, biggest baby," I say, eyes gleaming.

"Hey, Peach," he says, kissing my forehead.

"What's for dinner?"

"Meatloaf and green beans," he answers, kissing me again. "Spaghettio's for baby girl. She was too hungry to wait."

"I know the feeling," I say, looking over at Tessa.

"It was a little early for her to eat, but I figured it'd be okay," he says.

"Yeah," I say, rubbing his back. "She'll eat later again, anyway. With me."

He nods; we know the bedtime routine well, we have it down pat by now. "How was your day?" he asks.

"Good," I say. "I did a few alignments and a lot of paperwork. How about yours?"

"Tess and I went on a long walk through museum campus today," Jackson says. "It was pretty. Not too hot, not too cold."

"Sounds perfect," I say. "Wish I could've been there."

"Me, too," Theo says, and when I look back, he's resting his cheek against his closed fist.

"How was school?" I ask, breaking from Jackson to lean on the counter, looking right into my son's clear eyes.

"Kinda boring," he says. "But I got 100/100 on a spelling test. And that means I'm gonna be in the second grade spelling bee!"

"That's awesome, baby!" I say. "We should practice. I love spelling."

"Daddy said I should practice with you and not him, 'cause he's bad," Theo says, giggling.

"Hey," Jackson says. "I never said I was bad. I just said Mom's better. Don't twist my words, little man, or I'll come after you."

I give Theo a sly wink and head upstairs to change into lounge clothes. When I come back down, we all sit down at the table for a nice dinner together, talking about our days. Our activities were mundane, but we're all interested in each other's lives.

As I sit with my family around the dinner table, I can't help but picture mine and Theo's old life for just a moment. Our dining room was small, nearly nonexistent compared to where we're eating now, and the lighting was usually low. The bulbs were never strong. It would just be the two of us sitting at the table across from one another, trading quiet conversation and listening to subtle music in the background. Though we knew each other by heart and still do, there was always stuff to catch up on at the end of the day.

Now, the room is warm and bright and filled with sound. Our bellies are full and we're happy. And this is the way it will stay.

Later that night, I'm with Tessa in her nursery, rocking in the same chair that Theo used. Though we can afford a new one, there was something special about this one that I couldn't bear to give up. It holds too many serene memories, and throwing it out would be like losing a patch of who we used to be.

But now, Theo doesn't sit with me in this chair anymore. Instead, he's down the hallway in his big boy room, walls painted green, on his bed with his father reading a book. And instead of Jackson reading to him, he reads to Jackson. A new book every night. I can hear the steady rise and fall of their voices as I settle against the cushions, positioning the baby just right.

I pull my shirt down and stroke Tessa's hair, watching her eyes close as she latches to nurse. We don't have much longer for this routine, but she still doesn't prefer solid foods over what I can give her. At the end of the day, this is what she wants. Just like Theo, this routine is imperative to her falling asleep.

"Dear God," I whisper. "Thank you for this day. Thank you for my beautiful family; please keep us all happy and healthy. Thank you for your unyielding grace and knowledge, showing me the way even when I'm not sure of myself. Thank you for my children and my husband, and this amazing life."

I look down at my daughter as her lips move against me, and run my fingers down her back, over her thin onesie. I nudge my nighttime glasses up on my nose and Tessa sighs, adjusting the way she's lying, reaching to grip the neckline of my shirt just like Theo always did.

"I hope you know how much I love you," I say, voice hushed. I smile to myself as her rhythm slows and her fingers loosen. It takes a moment, but eventually her head lolls away and I cover my breast with my shirt again as I gently move her to lie on my chest, head on my shoulder, as we slowly rock back and forth, back and forth.

I lean my cheek against her head and listen to her breathing deepen, coming in sweet puffs on my neck. I close my eyes and relish her closeness, remembering when Theo was this small, and hold onto this moment. Time goes by so quickly. Before I know it she'll be just like him - all knees and elbows and scabs from the playground. Not that I don't love every stage Theo has gone through, but there's something extra special about a soft little baby depending on you for absolutely everything.

"I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart," I sing, soft as ever. "Down in my heart. I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart… down in my heart to stay..."

There was a time I thought I'd never find that joy. It was unattainable, unreachable, not even realistic to hope for. Everything in life was a battle, and a losing one at that. Nothing ever seemed to go my way.

But now, things are different. I have a warm home, a beautiful son, a gorgeous daughter, and a loving husband.

I've found that joy, and I didn't have to go far.

LINCOLN PARK, CHICAGO, THANKSGIVING, ONE YEAR LATER

I've never hosted people for Thanksgiving before. Last year, we went to see Catherine, and every year before that, Theo and I would always volunteer. But this year is different. This year, Catherine is coming to our house and we cooked a big holiday dinner that we'll all enjoy. Still volunteering after we're done eating, of course.

"Theo," I call from the kitchen, wiping my hands on the front of my apron. "Can you come grab the plates to set the table with, please?"

I hear footsteps come up behind me and turn to see my now nine-year-old son dressed in black pants and a dark green button-up shirt.

"Don't you look handsome," I say. "Dad pick that out?"

"Yeah," he says.

"I've never seen that shirt before," I say. "Is it new?"

"I think Dad bought it and put it in my closet," Theo says.

"Sounds like him," I say, chuckling, then nod towards the cupboard. "Can you grab five plates? Grandma Catherine should be here any minute. Where's your sister?"

"Dad's finding her a dress," Theo says, picking up the stack of plates.

"Is he dressed?" I ask, pulling out a ceramic container of mashed potatoes from the oven where they'd been warming. "He always forgets to actually get himself dressed."

Theo laughs. "Yeah," he says. "He wanted to know if you were."

"Don't let the apron fool you," I say, then watch him as he sets the plates out to each spot on the table. Where his face was once soft, it's turning angular. His hands, instead of being clumsy and chubby, are knobby and bony. His slopes are turning into hard edges, and I miss my little boy.

I miss the way he used to toddle down the long hallway of our old apartment into my outstretched arms, screaming with laughter at the simplest things. I miss the way he used to fall asleep every night with his head over my heart, and I miss the way he'd sneak into mine and Jackson's bed.

Now, that's up to Tessa. She's only just figured out how to escape from her crib.

And though I miss those things about Theo, I love everything about the young boy he's grown into. The boy who's at the top of his class in every subject, won the science fair last year, and reads to his sister every night. He'll always be my teddy bear at his core.

Thinking all this, I can't help but overflow with gratitude. I take a few steps forward and wrap my arms around him, and he lets me hold him close.

"I love you, baby," I say, kissing his head. I stay for an extra long time, and he doesn't pull away. There will always be something special between us from the hardship we endured together. For more than half a decade, we were each other's saving graces. The flickering beacon of happiness at the end of a slew of very hard days. And when I look into his eyes now, I can still remember those days.

But we don't have to feel that strife anymore. Now, we have each other and much more.

JACKSON

"Alright," I say, straightening Tessa's dress on her little body. "Let's get you downstairs. Grandma should be-"

Interrupting my sentence, the doorbell rings.

"I'll get it!" I hear Theo call out, then hoist our two-year-old onto my hip.

"I spoke too soon," I say. "Let's get this party started."

She grins, wide and cheesy, clapping as we descend the stairs. Theo takes my mom's coat and hangs it in the closet, and she's kissing his face all over when she spots Tessa and me.

"My baby!" she says, extending her arms out side. "And you, too, of course, Tessa."

I roll my eyes and my mom kisses Tessa's cheeks, which makes the baby giggle. I set her down on the floor and she scampers off, probably to find her brother.

"How was the drive?" I ask, leading her into the kitchen where we'll help April put everything on the table.

"Oh, it was fine," she says. "But let's not talk about that. Let's talk about how amazing this wife of yours looks!"

April turns around at the mention with a white ceramic dish in her grip, oven mitts on her hands. "Hi, Catherine," she says, and Mom kisses her cheek.

"You look gorgeous, dear," Mom says. "Let me help you. Has my son had you working this kitchen by yourself all day?"

April laughs, blowing a piece of hair from her eyes. Underneath her apron, she's wearing a navy blue dress that hugs her perfect body in all the right places, and I already know I'll rip it off her later. How we'll do that with my mom staying in the guest room, I'm not sure. But knowing us, we'll figure out a way.

"No," she says. "He was helping, the kids were too. He just took a break to get them dressed."

"That better be true, Jackson," Mom says. "April and I will get the sides on the table. You carve the turkey, and we'll be ready to eat in no time."

I nod and head back into the kitchen, where the turkey is resting in the middle of the island. I hear April and my mom talking vaguely in the other room and the soft sounds of toys from the living room, which means that the kids are out there. And I'm in the middle of it all, surrounded by my favorite sounds - the sounds of my active, lively family.

Once the turkey is done, Tessa passes through the kitchen.

"Baby girl," I say, and she looks up. "Go call for your bubba. Dinner's ready."

She toddles off, still unsteady on her legs, and calls to the living room, "Teo! Time eat!"

As we all make our way into the dining room, Theo comes in carrying Tessa around the waist while she giggles, so entertained. I put her in a pair of white tights under the navy blue dress - color matching with April - but they're already starting to sag. Before she sits, I yank them up on her waist as she tries to wriggle away.

I sit at the head of the table with April to my right and my mother to my left. Tessa is next to her mother with Theo across, next to his grandma, and a calm washes over us once everyone sits down.

"Happy Thanksgiving," April says, smiling at everyone. I catch her eye and she takes my hand, squeezing softly.

"Should we go around and say what we're thankful for?" my mom asks, and everyone agrees. "I'm thankful for the impeachment of that awful man, and the fact that we'll have a new administration soon. I'm also so, so very thankful to be looking at all of your beautiful faces right now. I can't think of a thing better."

From her, we move on to Theo. "I'm thankful for my family," he says. "And my friends at school. I'm really thankful for my good grades and my brain, and that we have a safe place to live. I'm also thankful we get to go help people after this."

Next is Tessa. April whispers in her ear, then she shouts, "Thankful for Bubba!"

Theo smiles widely and laughs, looking across the table to his beloved little sister.

"I'm thankful for everything in my life," April says, voice cracking. "Everything that's brought me to this point, everything beyond it, and this moment right here. I'm thankful for you," she says, looking me in the eye. "And you," she says to Theo. "And you," she says, touching Tessa's chin. "And this little one in here, whoever they might turn out to be." She rests a hand on her stomach and smoothes it over the growing bump. "I'm thankful for all the lessons God has taught me, and all the opportunities He's given me. I am so blessed, and I'm thankful for every day. Not just today."

As it becomes my turn, I look around at the four people - five, technically, counting the unborn fetus April is carrying - who mean the most. Out of anyone else in the world, my family is the most important.

My mother, who saw me through my hardest times and gives the best advice.

Theo, with his bright eyes and magic grin, quick to help anyone who needs it. Who is fiercely protective of his mother and little sister, and always ready to absorb something new. Who is as eager to love as he is to learn, the first child that April and I created. He is the one who made me a father, who presented me with both the pain and beauty of accepting the role as a parent.

Tessa, with her contagious laugh and pure heart, who could snuggle up to me on the coldest day and make it feel like summer. Out of the two, she is the first I held as an infant and her innocence is something I cherish. She taught me the fragility and profound resilience of the beginning of a baby's life, the primal fear of re-becoming a parent and hoping to do it right. She is joy and light, embodied.

April, my Peach, the one I've loved for what feels like all my life. As long as I live, I'll never see anyone but her. She is with me through all the moments - through my darkest days and most carefree nights, she's there. She sings me to sleep when I'm sick, trusts me enough to let me shoulder the burdens of life when she can't, and has never stopped being my cheerleader.

She doesn't wear the uniform anymore, and in no way is she on the sidelines. But we're in this together, this crazy ride called life, bringing as much joy and partnership to it that we can.

I'm thankful for all we've been through. But most of all, I'm thankful for this. This, right in front of me, the family that I call my own. The eyes of my wife, my children, the eyes I wouldn't be looking into had I not barged into the hospital room that fateful night and heard Theo call me by the name so normal to other fathers, but so poignant for me.

There were twists and turns along the way. Things didn't always work out in the most linear, conventional manner, but they worked out.

What people don't tell you is that your children, your spouse, they come with answers. You spend so much time worrying - marriage is hard, parenting is harder, everyone seems to have the worst advice. But as I sit at the table with the people I love most, it doesn't take much to realize that my children, my wife, have shown me who I really am.