A/N: I have no idea if people want to read this or not

So enjoy if you do

Also, I apologise if the dialogue is clunky or repetitive in places. I was writing this and chapter after midnight and couldn't think straight

Italics are a flashbacks

Over the next fortnight Cas was alright or as much as he could be; his balance was off most of the time and dizzy spells were dealt with caution.

Dean had practically glued himself to his friend's side, Cas had learnt how to fake smiles and tone his voice into lying with ease to say he was OK but people in camp, old and new could see he really wasn't. Dean wasn't impressed but he didn't have room to talk, he was number one in bottling up feelings, emotions and what needed to be said.

Cas secluded himself most times than not, he believed he was unless despite when he was needed - which wasn't as often as he originally thought - no-one bothered him but Dean always came in like clockwork at noon and then stayed for several hours, the two would clean guns, map out hot zones or safe areas for possible supply runs or just sit in each other's company. The pair barely spoke to one another, less than before. The former Angel knew Dean was worried but didn't voice it because whenever something happened to those closest to him Dean shut himself down and his solider façade was in full frontal.

Cas was battling nausea tonight, his felt like absolute crap. Dean confiscated pain killers as he had caught Cas nearly downing half the bottle in one go. Cas' body was on fire and he couldn't sleep or even rest. Nearly everyone had gone off on a mission, Cas could only think about his last conversation with Dean.

"It's a pathetic scavenger hunt" Risa spat out.

"There's a chance the Colt is there. We need to check this out. We're no closer stopping Lucifer sitting on our asses" Dean argued back.

Arnold scoffed, "What?" Dean demanded.

"You really think this is going to work? We've spent nearly every day trying to find this 'magic' gun that can possibly bring Lucifer down"

"I'm sorry, do you have any other ideas?" A now pissed off Dean lifted his eyebrows in waiting.

"No," Arnold muttered

"That shut you mouth. Wheels up in ten"

Cas hadn't moved yet and Dean was memorising the map, "You joining us?"

"Think I should?" Cas asked truthfully

"Why not?"

"Because over the past few days you've been manhandling me around the area. Dean I'm slowing you down each time I've gone out. Because of me we've had too many close calls. We lost two people because I distracted you by passing out"

Dean stared down Cas, it didn't last as Cas bolted out the room, vomiting what little he did eat and all his stomach acids behind the cabin where no-one could see him in such a miserable state. He was spitting out bile as Dean approached him.

"See? I'm distracting you again. Useless" Cas breathed out wiping his mouth.

"No. It's call mortality"

"Going mortal... I didn't think it would be so heinous"

"It gets easier" Dean shrugged

"Sure. I'll just dive into the brilliance that is being a Human, Dean" Cas rolled his eyes and planted his sweaty back against the cabin wall "What can I do as a Human, just waste away into nothingness"

"Cas,"

The former Angel just waved a dismissive hand "Go, Fearless Leader. They need you for this mission. I'll be around somewhere when you get back" Dean silently walked away after staring at Cas' failing health.

Cas wasn't sure when he had fallen asleep but he woke up in a cold sweat. He was superbly happy about not to having a door as he desperately needed fresh air, he preferred the sound of the wooden beads he could pass anyway. He staggered out of his cabin and crashed into the dirt retching loudly, in a strange moment of vulnerability he wondered about Gabriel, he stared up to the blurry sky and quietly asked "Gabriel, if you're there, what do you think of me now?"

He was met with silence so he pushed himself back onto his feet, it lasted three seconds before his body gave up and dropped into the ground. No-one bar Chuck was around so he just laid there helpless, a pathetic waste in his own mind, he knew it was either late or drifting into early morning but right now Cas couldn't care.

It was convenient timing Chuck was going on a mini stroll around the campus as he spotted Cas lying in the mud, eyes shut with black bags underneath and paler physique. He felt pity for the raven-haired man and wondered how it had come to this, Cas was suppose to be a warrior of Heaven and now he was as fragile as anyone else in their dying world.

Cas woke up hours later to the sound of heavy boots pacing around him and mute-filtered voices, he couldn't make anything out. He felt his body change from beforehand, he didn't feel like crap anymore and he realised he was lying the recovery position.

He unfolded himself and sat up.

"Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty" Dean crouched down and nudged his shin.

"I don't know what that is" Cas mumbled to himself.

"Here," Dean helped Cas up and planted him on a seat.

"Any good news?" Cas questioned.

"No, another dead end and Risa isn't pulling any punches in letting me know about it"

"What about Lucifer?"

"Nothing yet, but a Demon did help point us in the right direction"

"That means there were less Croats this time" Cas finished.

"Yeah" Dean rubbed his eyes slowly "So, what about you? I saw Chuck trying to move you inside when I got back, you were dead to the world"

"Another blackout. But I don't feel any of that now, the regular headache is still there and probably won't be leaving soon but I don't think I'm going to throw up anymore"

"Good. Next mission you're coming. Can't have you getting rusty"

"Alrighty," Cas turned to leave but Dean's grip on his wrist made it's appearance. It was there way on communicating without needing words now, almost like old times.

"I'll keep you updated" Cas spoke gently then to be was released from Dean and the Winchester watched the retreating back of his only true friend left.

Extra Note: I have started writing Chapter Three but as I said before I have no idea if people are interested in this story

Please R & R as it would help me a lot.