A/N Hot damn another update so soon! I feel proud! Lol Please review guys, let me know what you think of the story.
A/N2: This is a Hermione Sirius story as much as I love Snamione. This one just won't end up being one.
Feeling him pound into dulled, her senses only feeling him, nothing more. The numb feeling was better than the pain.
Hermione's eyes fluttered open at the sound of rolling thunder. She could have sworn it was shaking the castle. Looking over at Severus, she saw he was still asleep. She could see his chest in the darkness, the sheet resting at his waistline.
Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, Hermione grabbed her pants and pulled them on. She then grabbed Severus' button up shirt and put it on to cover up. She did not want to bother looking for her own shirt, Merlin, knew where it might be.
Hermione quietly slid out the room so she would not wake Severus. He still did not sleep well, even with the war long over, so she did not want to wake him. Hermione, however, could not sleep through a storm, not since that night.
Entering the Entrance Hall, Hermione was relieved to see it was still dark. She would at least be able to be out for a few hours. She rubbed her finger where her ring was normally set, feeling naked without it. Hermione sighed, knowing she would be hiding in the shadows once more.
Letting her feet guide around the castle, she found herself at the top of the Astronomy Tower. The stars shone brightly over the castle, her true home. She leaned on the railing and looked over the lake.
"Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir-open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us, guides us. Passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have?" Hermione recited half to herself, snorting at the end.
"Passion is the source of our finest moments: the joy of love, the clarity of hatred, and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. Passion is the source of hope and the cause of despair. It is the source of life and the cause of death. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace, but we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead," Sirius spoke from behind her, finishing the other half.
"Sometimes being hollow is a blessing, not a burden." Hermione sighed closing her eyes; that wasn't the voice she wanted to hear at the moment. She knew it was him without even turning to look. "It's better to feel nothing."
"I deserve that," Sirius whispered.
"You deserve more than that," she hissed, her voice colder than ice. "Why are you still in the castle?"
"I stayed with Remus," Sirius spoke. He did not move closer even though he wanted too. He burned to have her back in his arms. "You?"
"I stayed with Severus." Turning around, her grey eyes locked with his. Lightning flashed lighting the night sky.
Sirius looked her over not in a seductive way but taking in her changed appearance. He had always been so use to her warm brown eyes. Now they were the cold grey eyes of the Malfoy family. She looked so different now, yet still the same.
"What do you want, Sirius? I figured after our last chat you wouldn't come near me." Hermione sighed running a hand across her face.
"I needed to see you," he said, his voice laced with desperation.
"Well, you've seen me," Hermione said crossing her arms over her chest, she leaned against the railing. "Leave."
"Please," Sirius whispered, moving closer. He knew he was pushing his luck but he could not help himself. He wanted nothing more than to have her in his arms. "Please, just listen to me."
Hermione's gaze snapped back and glared at Sirius, fury burning in her eyes. Launching herself at Sirius she made him stagger back from her. "You know, your choice of words here is ironic because I remember begging you that night to listen to me." She paused. "It seems we've come full circle."
Flash back
Hermione sat by Sirius at the table, waiting for dinner. She was talking with Harry and the twins, her hand self consciously resting over her stomach. Sirius' arm was around Hermione, his hand playing with the ends of her hair. He was speaking with Remus.
Molly entered the room, announcing dinner was ready. Ron entered and took a seat on the other side of the room, far away from Sirius and Hermione.
"So, Granger?" Fred spoke up, drawing everyone's attention. "What did old Dumbledore want with you?"
"Sorry, love, I meant to ask earlier how that went," Sirius said, feeling odd when Hermione stiffened under his arm. He pulled it from around her, watching her closely.
"Well, you all know I'm adopted," Hermione stated nervously. "Um, Albus believes he has found my father. Well, biological family."
"That's great!" Harry exclaimed, exciting she had finally found her family. "What family?" he asked.
Hermione took a deep breath before she spoke. "The fa-family that I come from is the Malfoy family."
The silence stretched between them awkwardly. No one said anything. Sirius stood, walking over to the kitchen counter and away from Hermione.
"No wonder you always thought you were better than us," Ron spat at her from across the room.
"I never thought I was better than any of you!" Hermione protested, standing up. She was outraged that he would even say that. "How can you say that when I was fighting on the same side of the war as you, as everyone in this room!" She looked around, hoping that someone would stand up for her.
"How do we know you weren't slipping information to your father, Lucius." Ron spat.
"I would have never! I obliviated my parents and sent them away for Merlin's sake, not that it helped." Hermione exclaimed standing from her seat, turning she looked at Harry. "Harry, you can't honestly believe this! Do you?"
"I don't know what to believe. I-," Harry paused looking up at her the mixture of confusion and hurt sitting in his eyes.
"Now this is gone too far!" Remus snapped.
"Is Lucius Malfoy your father?" Harry started cutting Remus off.
"Lucius isn't my father. He is my brother. Abraxas Malfoy is my father." Hermione began to feel tears run down her face. "How can any of you stand her and think I would do anything to hurt anyone in this room. I was tortured on these peoples drawing room floor!"
"See, everyone is thinking the same thing. No one's speaking up for you, not even your lover." Ron smirked, his gaze going towards Sirius.
Hermione turned, looking at the man she loved with all her heart. She knew he would at least say something to protect her. He had to, he loved her. Didn't he?
"Leave," Sirius whispered.
"Sirius?" Hermione questioned, not quite believing his words.
"I said leave." Sirius looked at her, his face blank. His grey eyes were cold.
"Sirius," Remus began. Sirius waved a hand, silencing Remus.
"Please," Hermione begged, tears rolling faster down her face. "Please, just listen to me."
"Leave." Without another word, Sirius left Hermione standing there in shock at what had just happened.
She walked up the stairs, her body numb. She quickly grabbed her things and placed them in a small bag. She returned downstairs to the front door.
"Hermione," Remus spoke, waiting for her by the door. "Don't leave, let this blow over. He will see reason, he always does."
"No, he wants me gone. I am leaving," Hermione said, shaking her head.
"Where are you going?" Remus questioned.
"Malfoy Manor," she answered, wiping tears away. "It's the only place I have to go. I sold my parents' home."
"Don't go there come to my home. Please, Hermione." Remus begged.
"No, I won't put you in that position Remus." Hermione whispered.
"If there's anything left, I will send it to you. If you ever need anything for me, I will still be there for you." Remus wrapped her in a hug.
"Thank you Remus." Hermione pulled back and walked out of the door down the street. She paused, glancing backwards to see Number Twelve Grimmauld Place fade from sight. She had hoped he would have come after her.
She was wrong.
Flash back end
"I am going to show you the same respect you showed me that night," Hermione growled. "I said to leave."
"I will," his said, his voice cracking slightly stepping away. "I will do whatever you ask of me. If you want me on my knees begging ill do it, but please, talk to me."
"I don't want to talk to you, Sirius." Hermione sighed, looking him right in the eyes. She could feel her heart ripping in half. "I shouldn't have come back. I should have listened to Severus and told albus no."
"I didn't mean tonight. I don't want to push you. I will do whatever you ask of me, but please talk to me," Sirius begged.
The anger had faded but the pain was seeping back in. "Fine, but not now. I will talk to you when I am ready. I have to go."
"Why?" Sirius asked quickly.
"The sun's coming up." Hermione pointed out sadly, seeing the sky beginning to light up. "Once again, I am back in the shadows."
"You don't belong there," Sirius whispered, looking at her sadly.
"Nothing I can do to fix that now." Hermione sighed. "I need to go home. I'll let you know when I am ready to talk. If i am ever ready." She walked to the stairs. Sirius' voice stopped her.
"Do you hate me?" Sirius asked desperately.
"No, I don't hate you. Ronald is the only one who holds that title."
Sirius sighed in relief.
She turned on the stairs, looking back into his eyes. "You just broke my heart."
Sirius stood there, frozen in place. He had always promised her he would never hurt her and that's exactly what he did. His chest tightened in pain, remembering the promise he had made her.
"I'll never break your heart."
A/N ok gold star and a cookie for the one who can tell me where I got that passion monologue from. The TV show I mean.
Hope you all like the update! Love you all bunches you people are the best. Thank you for rolling with this very odd story I though up.
Sorry for any mistakes people! Again chapter not beta'd.