"Well you're certainly home early," Lukas quipped, extracting himself from a make-out session with Matthias as Emil walked through the front door.
"It was only the first date, Lukas," Emil sighed as he took his shoes off and sat down on the couch, "It's not like I was going to spend the night. And anyways we both had to leave and get ready for the after school care shift, I mean why else would we have gone out so early in the day?"
"Because you're a square," Matthias answered, "And speaking of which, how was your nerdy aquarium date Mr. Quadrilateral?"
"It was good!" Emil replied, ignoring the other man's jab at his personality, "We went to the seabird exhibit and Alfred didn't even seem annoyed when I started talking about puffins."
"Really? Oh Emil, marry him now while you still have the chance." Lukas mocked, throwing a hand over his forehead in a fake-dramatic pose, "Who knows if you'll ever meet another man who can handle your puffin obsession."
"Oh shut up Lukas," Emil grumbled, crossing his arms in a huff, "Can't I like a guy without you making snide jokes about it?"
"Absolutely not."
"Ugh! Fine. You know what? Make fun of me and my date. I don't care," Emil huffed as he got up from the couch and started to stomp out of the room, "I'm going to go get ready for work."
"Can't you stomp more quietly? You're disturbing the neighbors," Lukas called after him. Emil ignored him, opting instead to slam his bedroom door shut and flop down on his bed.
The problem with him and Lukas sharing an apartment, Emil thought bitterly, was that the money he saved by staying with his brother didn't always make up for the teasing sibling rivalry he had to put up with. That being said, renting an apartment by himself with his income just wasn't a realistic possibility. He would just have to put up with his brothers teasing for now.
He sighed and buried his head into his pillow, allowing himself to wallow in self-pity for a few more seconds. Then he rolled over reluctantly and sat up in his bed. He really did need to get ready for work.
The bus lurched to a halt and Emil toppled into the person standing next to him. An event that greatly sullied Emil's already unpleasant commute to work.
"Sorry," he said as he regained his balance.
"Don't worry about it, it's not your fault," The girl he had run into replied, as she readjusted the pink flower clips in her hair. She was just about done fixing her hair when suddenly she stopped to look at him.
"Hey, I know you!" she exclaimed.
"You do?" Emil asked without thinking.
"Yeah! You're that guy that my girlfriend's brother is trying to get with."
"What?"
"You know Alfred right?"
"Um...yes?"
"Well, I'm his sister's girlfriend, Mei. He sent his sister Michelle a snapchat of the two of you at the aquarium this morning while I was over at her place. That's how I recognized you."
"Oh...okay," Emil replied cautiously, "Well um, hi, my name is Emil."
"Nice to meet you, Emil!" Mei exclaimed enthusiastically. Then she decided to go on a tirade that Emil was by no means ready for.
"So Alfred huh? I mean I know he's got nice abs but what do you see in him? It can't be his sense of humor. The only jokes he ever tells are bad puns. Is it his money? Because I know his dads are rich, but they've kind of insisted that their kids at least try to be financially independent, so he doesn't have that much cash. He has the personality of a store brand paragon, so it can't be that. Is he good in bed? I just don't get it."
"Wh-what," Emil spluttered, " Abbs? Rich fathers? What on earth are you talking about? I've only been on one date with the guy, I don't even know if I really like him yet."
"Oh, well I guess that makes bad though," Mei murmured as she pulled a business card out of her wallet, "Here, text me sometime. Let me know if you ever find which of Alfred's personality traits makes him tolerable. And really do text me too, my curiosity just is insatiable. Well, anyways this it was my stop. Nice meeting you, bye!"
Emil could only stand there, mouth agape, as the bus doors swung open. What the hell had just happened.
"Next stop 35th and Hetalia st," a computerized voice droned through the bus.
Realizing his stop was next, Emil straightened up and slipped the bubble gum pink business card that labeling Mei as the assistant manager of the city's most popular comic book shop into his pant pocket. He would just have to ask Alfred about it later.
"So…." Emil began as he and Alfred knelt on the floor together picking up legos, "I met your sister's girlfriend on the bus today."
"Which one?" Alfred asked as he pulled a Playmobil out of the lego pile.
"What do you mean which one?" Emil replied a little bit dumbfounded, "Do you have more than one sister?"
"What? no," Alfred laughed, "I mean which of Michelle's girlfriends are you talking about? She's dating like five people, and most of them are ladies."
"Oh my god, she's cheating on her girlfriend!?"
"Um, no. She's polyamorous dude. All of her partners know she's dating other people."
"Oh, uh, I guess that's fine then...um, well yeah well I definitely met one of them," Emil floundered, realizing that the conversation had come to an unpleasant stopping point.
"Okay, but you didn't answer my question. Which one? Was is Lien? Tamara? Mei? Oh wait, was it Katyusha? Because they're actually agender, but a lot of people mistake them for a girl," Alfred interjected, crawling under the table to retrieve a pile of red and yellow Lego blocks.
"Um, I think she said her name was Mei."
"Oh gross," Alfred groaned, "Mei is just the worst."
"Really? She seemed pretty okay to me," Emil countered as he went to pick up a group of legos that had somehow made it all the way to the other side of the room, "a little talkative yeah, but she seemed nice."
"Humph, well sure she's nice when you've only just met her, but let me tell you, I'm friends with her cousin Yao and from what he's told me I can tell you that she's a pretty nasty person. Michelle could do better." Alfred concluded. Then, almost as an afterthought, he added, "And you should stay away from her. She's bad news."
"Well," Emil said with a huff, "I appreciate your concern, but I think I'll decide on her character for myself. I try not to make snap judgments about people based on 3rd hand information."
"Suit yourself, but Yao said-"
"Wait, hold on a second. This Yao you're talking about wouldn't happen to be Wang Yao would it?"
"I-uh...yeah," Alfred admitted.
"The same Wang Yao who runs what is probably the sketchiest gay bar in the whole city?"
"...yeah."
"Didn't he rent out his bar to a bunch of tankies one time?"
"Well, he did but-"
"And didn't he turn a blind eye to an illegal wrestling ring that was happening next door to him for almost three years?"
"There's no proof of that!"
"And you want me to believe a bunch of dirt this guy made up about his cousin?"
"Listen, man, Yao's given me some really good advice when I needed it. I trust him. And anyway, how do you know all that stuff?"
"I'm best friends with his younger brother."
"Oh..well, yeah I guess you would know about all that stuff then," Alfred conceded.
"You know for a daycare provider you certainly seem to hang out with an interesting group of people," Emil smirked.
"Oh please. I'm not some secret bad boy if that's what you're thinking," Alfred said in exasperation, "Yao and I knew each other in high school. We were lab partners and the only two queer kids in our AP chem class. That's why we're friends. No other reason."
"Yeah whatever you say store brand paragon."
"Excuse me?"
"That's what Mei called you," Emil explained.
"Ugh!" Alfred cried, "She really is the absolute worst!"
"Yeah I sort of got the feeling she wasn't your biggest fan either buddy," Emil laughed, "Now come on, help me move these lego's back into the storage closet."
AN: In a shocking twist that absolutely everyone predicted, America and Taiwan don't get along very well.
On a fun side note, I actually know how I want to end this fic now, so yay! Having a plot is exciting!
Tamara -Human name for the Czech Republic
Lien -Human name for Vietnam
Reviews are always appreciated!