CHAPTER NINE
Happy stepped forward. "Sorry, my bad. Must have been a malfunction."
Then she winked at Paige.
"Shit, my ears are still ringing." Yuri spun around to point at the mechanic. "What the hell?"
"I said the charge must have malfunctioned," Happy shouted at him before shrugging. "It happens."
The other pyrotechnician nodded, holding up one of his hands which was missing a finger. "Lost it five year ago. Bad fuse."
Yuri dismissed the man with a grunt, then sneered at Happy. "I should fire you, bitch."
Paige bit her lip, wondering how the mechanic would react. The other woman's eyes narrowed and she opened her mouth, no doubt to make a sarcastic remark which would get her bounced off the case.
"Hey, it's just mistake, Yuri." Akim hustled over to stand in front of the taller man. "She's good worker. It was accident, okay?"
"Yeah, okay." The lead singer stuck a finger in his ear again. "She fucks up again, she's fired." He turned and walked away, muttering 'stupid bitch' under his breath.
Everyone else followed Yuri, leaving Paige and Happy standing a few feet away from each other. "Come toward me, then drop your bag," hissed the mechanic. Wondering why the other woman made such an odd request, Paige did as asked, letting go of her purse in front of Happy's work boots.
They both crouched down at the same time. "Here, take this," the mechanic whispered as she slipped a small metallic device into the liaison's hand. "I've already cloned Akim's phone. You need. . ."
"To do Yuri's. I know, Walter told me." Paige shuddered a little at the thought of the unpleasant task ahead.
"Okay then." Happy made a show of picking up the bag and handing it to Paige before adding, "And hey, I have it on good authority what Yuri has in his pants is a pair of rolled up socks."
With that, she stalked off, leaving Paige with her mouth hanging open. Glancing across the stage, she spied Walter at the top of a ladder, staring at her, concern easily readable on his face even from where she was standing. She flashed the cloning device at him, then smiled. He nodded back at her, his worried expression unchanged.
"Hey Paige." Darby came trotting up to her. "You come now. We going back to hotel."
"Yeah, sure." Sliding the small object into her purse, which she then slung over her shoulder, she and the manager headed out to where the shuttle bus was waiting.
As she walked out of the building, Paige knew the exploding firework had been no accident. Happy had really saved her ass back there.
She just wondered where in the hell the mechanic had gotten her information about the contents of Yuri's tight leather pants.
ooooo
"There, all new and improved and properly installed."
Toby, along with Cabe and Ralph stepped back to admire their handiwork. Which had been mostly the Homeland agent's handiwork. He and the youngster had mainly been tool providers and instruction readers, but the pride of accomplishment was still there.
"You guys really think Walter isn't going to notice a completely different washing machine?" Sylvester stood behind them, shaking his head.
"Of course, he's going to notice," said the shrink. "But this one's better. It doesn't use as much water and it's more energy efficient. You know how he feels about efficiency. He's gonna love it."
"I hope you're right," said Sly. "I don't want to get in trouble."
"Trouble, smouble." Toby shrugged. "You know, all this manly work has made me hungry." He struck a pose as he flexed his biceps.
"Me, too," said Ralph. "Can we get pizza?"
"We've already had pizza the past two nights." Cabe fist bumped his lower chest. "It gave me heartburn last night."
"Too spicy for you, old man?" The psychiatrist hopped out of the way of the agent's foot.
"Next one will be up your ass, punk. Old man. I'll show you an old man."
"Guys. . ." The human calculator glanced uneasily from man to man.
"So are we going to get pizza or not?" Ralph looked up, his puppy dog eyes played up to the hilt. "Please?"
"Sure, buddy, why not?" Toby strolled over to his desk, picked up his phone, and hit the speed dial for their favorite pizza place. "The usual?"
"Yes," Ralph and Sly said at the same time. "Make mine with double jalapeños," the Homeland agent growled.
"You play with fire, you're going to get burnt," the psychiatrist taunted.
"I'll be fine." Cabe glared at him. "I dare you to get the same and we'll see who's on fire in the morning."
"You're on."
Toby smirked as he waited to place their order. It technically wasn't gambling. And what Happy didn't know wouldn't hurt her. She owed him one for her shenanigans the night before anyway. He gripped the phone a little harder as the pictures she sent floated through his mind. Giving his head a shake, he listened as the phone rang in his ear, wishing life was as easy to order as a pizza.
ooooo
Toby came downstairs the next morning after spending most of the night in agony. Ugh, his stomach still was burning and churning. That last slice of pizza, with its double jalapeños, a liberal dose of Tabasco sauce, and a sprinkling of red pepper flakes, had been a huge mistake. And it was the thought of the immense suffering Cabe must be going through that got him motivated enough to face the "I told you so's" from Sylvester.
The main floor of the garage was empty except for the human calculator who was sitting at his desk staring at his computer. "Where is everyone?" the shrink asked.
Sly glanced in his direction for a second before returning to his screen. "You look like crap this morning."
"Whoa, who peed in your cornflakes?" Toby wandered into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator in search of something to calm the fire in his gut. What he found inside was disappointing. There were all the now not so fresh fruit and vegetables Paige had prepared for Ralph. A half eaten sandwich that needed carbon dating to determine its age. An assortment of condiments. And someone had left about a teaspoon of milk in the plastic gallon jug.
With a sigh, he reached for the hazelnut creamer, sniff tested it, then drained its remaining contents. Grimacing, he walked toward his desk. "So where is everyone else?"
"Cabe and Ralph have been up for hours," said Sylvester. "They're building something up on the roof. And you do look like heck. I told you not to eat that pizza."
"I'm fine. But thanks for your thoughtful concern."
Toby wandered up to the top of the building, where he found the agent hammering two pieces of wood together and the boy genius painting something. "What's going on?" he asked when Cabe paused in his noisy task for a moment.
"I'm showing Ralph something I used to do when I was a kid."
"Oh, besides mammoth hunting and painting on cave walls?"
"Ha, ha, very funny." The older man shook his head. "Nope, we're building a fort using the box the new washer came in." He then resume his pounding.
"Hey, I was going to make something out of that." Toby shouted over the racket.
Cabe stopped again and chuckled. "You snooze, you lose, Doc." He pulled down his sunglasses. "You're looking mighty peaked this morning. How's your stomach?"
"Wonderful," the shrink lied. "How's yours?"
"Couldn't be better." Pushing his glasses back into place, he went back to hammering.
Toby came up behind Ralph, looking over his shoulder at the sign the youngster was painting. "'No Girls Allowed' huh?"
"Cabe said every self-respecting fort needed one." The boy glanced over at the Homeland agent. "What if I want to invite my mom inside?" he lowered his voice conspiratorially. "She's technically a girl. And what about Happy? She'd just kick our asses and go inside anyway."
"First of all, you better not let your mom hear you say asses," said the psychiatrist. "Second, it's a rule that was made to be broken. Right, Cabe?"
"That's right." The agent grinned as he walked over to them. "I remember the time I let Karen Kowalski inside my tree fort," he said. "We, uh. . ." He glance at Ralph as his words ground to a halt.
"Made out?" asked the boy. He rolled his eyes. "I'm not a little kid, I'm almost 12. I know about sex and stuff."
Cabe looked like he swallowed an egg. Toby had to stifle a laugh once he got over his initial shock. "And just what do you know about 'sex and stuff'?"
"There's kissing, and then inter. . ."
"Whoa, I'm going to have to stop you right there, pal," interrupted Toby. "I don't need to learn about the birds and the bees from an eleven-year old."
"What do birds and bees have to do with it?"
"Absolutely nothing, Ralph," replied the Homeland agent with a grin. "Absolutely nothing."
"So, Cabe, did you get to first base with Karen what's-her-name?" Toby waggled his eyebrows.
"Shut up, Doc."
"First base? What's baseball got to do with it?" Ralph glanced at the two older men as he shook his head condescendingly. "Man, are you guys confused." With a weary sigh, he set down his paintbrush. "I'm going to let this dry and go get something to eat."
Cabe and Toby watched in silence as the boy walked through the door before bursting into laughter.
"What's so funny?" asked Sylvester as he stepped out onto the roof a few minutes later.
"Nothing," replied both men as they continued to chuckle.
Sly shook his head. "Happy's sent the contents of one of roadies' phone. I thought you guys might be interested."
The shrink and the agent became serious then. "What are we waiting for?" asked Toby, adjusting his hat. "The sooner we nail these jerks, the sooner Happy can come back."
"And Walter and Paige," added Sylvester.
"Yeah, them too." The psychiatrist patted the human calculator on the shoulder as they all headed downstairs.
ooooo
It was early afternoon when Walter was checking the connections on a bank of mid-range speakers set behind the drummer's kit at the back of the stage. Between the cables and cords laying all over the floor and the amount of foot traffic, it surprised him anything stayed together. He wasn't the only one who had been tripped up. He'd even seen Akim catch his foot on a cord and almost fall on his face.
Wiping the sweat from his forehead, he then took off his flannel shirt and tied it around his waist. The heat from the electrical equipment added to the summer heat and humidity was almost unbearable. He plucked at his tee shirt which was clinging to his damp skin, the pockets of air he created cooling him a little.
Bending down to check if a plug was properly fitted, he was totally unprepared as a pair of hands grabbed his butt. Walter froze, his mind boggling at the thought of Paige doing something so bold. Taking a deep breath, he instantly knew it wasn't the liaison squeezing his rear, because instead of her usual scent of lavender, an overpowering flowery perfume filled his nose. An unpleasant odor he'd smelled before. . .
Spinning around, he came face to face with Zalina, who was smiling at him with what he could tell was wicked intent. "Nice ass," she said before placing her hands on his chest and shoved him to the wall, then pressed herself against him.
Stunned, he averted his face at the last second as she tried to place her mouth on his. Her lips landed on his cheek instead, her tongue licking the side of his face. "You and me," she whispered, "right now. Let's do it."
A shudder of revulsion rippled through him and he pushed her an arm's length away. "Uh, sorry, I'm not interested."
Zalina looked him up and down before settling her gaze on the crotch of his jeans. "I could make you interested," she said, reaching her hand toward his groin.
Walter shook his head as he sidestepped away from her. "I doubt it. You're a mediocre singer at best, getting by on your pleasingly symmetrical features and larger than average breasts. Judging by your behavior, you've had a higher than average amount of lovers, something I don't find appealing, considering it increases the odds you've acquired a sexually transmitted disease."
Her mouth dropped open for a second, then she slapped his face. "You fucking bastard. What are you, gay or something?"
"No, I'm attracted to women." He ducked his head, trying to repress a smile as he thought of Paige. He couldn't imagine wanting anyone else. "I, uh, I kinda already have a woman, er. . .a girlfriend."
Movement caught his eye and he glanced up to see Paige standing several feet behind Zalina, an odd smile on her face. Oh, shit. Heat swept over him from head to toe, making him sweat even more. How long had she been there? How much had she overheard?
His questions became moot when the back up singer swirled around and saw the liaison. "You fucking bitch," she hissed as she started toward Paige with clenched fists. "I'm gonna to kick your ass."
Walter followed Zalina, intending to keep her from harming Paige. He attempted to grab the irate woman, only to have Paige get to her first, punching the singer right in the nose.