As Jiraiya stared at his old sensei, he knew this wouldn't be an easy fight. Orochimaru had been unable to summon the First and Second at full power, since he did not have enough chakra for that. However, he did have enough to summon the Third Hokage at full power. Jiraiya knew firsthand how powerful his sensei was. He suddenly remembered his bell test.
Flashback
"Now, children. You three are the prodigies of the Academy, having graduated at just six years old. My name is Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Third Hokage. I like people who work hard and this village. I dislike dicks who attack this village. My hobbies are protecting this village, which is what you will be trained to do. My goal is to protect the village till my death, and to ensure that the Will of Fire is handed down to a strong young generation. Please introduce yourselves."
"My name is Senju Tsunade, granddaughter of Senju Hashirama. I like gambling and playing with my younger brother. I hate perverts, and my hobbies are learning medical ninjutsu. My goal is to one day save lots of people as a medic.
The Hokage was a bit worried about how a six-year old knew about perverts and gambling. Still, they were ninja, so yeah.
"My name is Orochimaru. I like training and I hate people who are lazy." Somewhere nearby, Shikamaru's grandfather sneezed in the face of one of his genin. "My hobbies are training and learning, and my goal is to learn all the jutsu in the world."
"My name is Jiraiya. I like women and being a boss. I hate arrogant dicks. My hobby is spying on the onsen, and my goal is to become a strong ninja."
"Oh well. Anyway, you guys. I have two bells here, meaning the one person who doesn't get a bell goes back to the Academy. It starts now."
Orochimaru and Tsunade hid, but Jiraiya, who had IQ levels resembling a boiled carrot charged directly at the strongest ninja in the village, screaming about an honourable fight. The Hokage mentally face palmed. As Jiraiya tried to punch him, he ducked, and rolled out of the way of a sudden leg swipe. Then, Jiraiya attempted to stab him, but the Professor, backfisted him, sending him flying.
Then, the man suddenly body flickered right in front of the future Sannin, kicked him, and he went soaring into a tree.
Jiraiya ran back towards the forest, and there in a clearing, he found a bell. He smirked, and went for the bell, failing to notice the trip wires. All of a sudden, trees fell around him in a barrier. There was no way he could escape.
After, a while, someone punched through the barrier. It was Tsunade, and next to her was Orochimaru.
"Jiraiya…we need to work together." hissed Orochimaru (There is no Kukuukkukukukuukuku, because he is not an evil motherfucker yet).
Tsunade then said, " This guy is super strong, and there's no way we can beat him by ourselves. Only together can we win. The goal is teamwork."
After a bit of arguing, the three sneaked towards the village leader. They didn't notice him smile as he sensed them.
All three of them suddenly charged, with Jiraiya shooting a fireball, and Orochimaru sending a wind style breakthrough making a fire planet. The man quickly sealed the fire away, but then he was unable to see Tsunade through the smoke. She smashed the ground with her finger, and the Hokage fell into the ground.
"So, old man. WE win!" yelled Orochimaru (just kidding. it was Jiraiya)
"Not quite."
The man exploded revealing he was a shadow doppleganger, and as the three jumped back, the real Hokage moved at full speed, tying them all up.
"I win. But, you pass the test of teamwork."
Their sensei's words did not reach them at first, as they were awestruck by his speed.
End Flashback
Jiraiya sighed. He could not use his summons, as they were too big, in such an enclosed space. He realised the old man was beginning to make the seals for summoning, so Jiraiya charged forward, attempting a kick at the man's head. The man dodged, but Jiraiya had gotten a bit smarter, so his uppercut propelled the man into the air. Not giving his time to escape, he shot two kunai at the old hokage. However, the man knocked them aside, and yelled "Shuriken Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shuriken Shadow Doppleganger Technique)" A thousand shrunken shot towards Jiraiya. The mighty Sannin formed two quick seals, and formed a mud wall, which stopped the shuriken. Then, a bo staff, shattered the wall, and Jiraiya nearly got it stuffed down his throat.
The two now engaged in a battle of taijutsu. The old Hokage swung his bo staff, and Jiraiya ducked , trying to spearhead the man in the neck. Hiruzen sidestepped, and .kicked Jiraiya in the chest. Jiraiya threw a kunai at the aged man, hitting him in the neck, then he formed several shadow clones. Hiding behind a tree, he began sage mode.
Meanwhile, Hiruzen was fighting the clones. He shot a fireball killing three, leaving two. The god of shinobi then in a show of speed kicked the two shadow clones in the back. AS they dissipated into smoke, he charged at Jiraiya. But, Jiraiya was ready with his senjutsu. He kicked Hiruzen, and jumped into the air. He then performed a jutsu invented by his student. "ODAMA RASSENGAN (Giant Rassengan)!"
The old man was pretty much vaporized. Then, Jiriaya saw the Hokage's soul come out of the body. It beckoned to him, and whispered something in his ear. Jiraiya's eyes widened. Impossible!
Naruto stared down the evil pedophile. Even though he must have been low on chakra, he was still a SAnnin, and not to be underestimated.
"Kukukukukukukuku….Naruto. I would like to see your improvenment, and then make you my host. Kukukukukukukukuku…."
"Orochimaru. You still sound as retarded as ever."
Orochimaru screamed and attacked. Naruto was forced back, as the Sannin began a fast flurry of taijutsu. It was difficult to dodge, and Naruto was unable to retaliate. Suddenly, the Snake Sage kicked Naruto and sending him flying with a wind jutsu. Naruto quickly formed shadow clones, and shoved Deidara's bombs into their shirts. They charged at Orochimaru screaming, "FOR RAMEN!". They exploded next to the pedophile, who turned into mud. A mud clone!
The real Orochimaru popped out from a tree, and grabbed Naruto with pythons. Coming from his mouth was a sword…
Then, suddenly, red chakra flared out, and shattered the sword. Luckily, for Orochimaru, it was his second best sword. He had hired some random guy to polish his Kusanagi, and it was back in Otogakure. The pythons suddenly shrivelled up.
Inside Naruto's stomach, the Kyuubi was delirious. He had won at some random game, and had unleashed his chakra, to show off.
Outside, Orochimaru thought that Naruto could control the Kyuubi's power, and he ran away.
Danzo was pretty sure he would die any second. Itachi was slicing at him with a sword, laughing manically. Danzo was running around, screaming. He kept trying to hit the Uchiha with branches, but Itachi just chopped them in half. Danzo finally jumped on a tree, and used his wind blades. Itachi leaped backwards, and dodged the blades. He then kicked Danzo in the chest. Then, both of them made the same sings.
"KUCHIYOSE NO JUTSU!" (Art of Summoning)
A massive crow name Hiroki popped up under Itachi, while Boro the elephant was next to DAnzo.
"So, Itachi. You're robbing pyramids now? Who is this mummy?"
"Shut up Hiroki. This is Danzo Shimura."
"Itachi, I think you got his name wrong. It's Dango Shikamaru."
"Whatever. WE are going to kill him."
"Why?"
"He got my clan killed."
That was enough talk, and the duo soared into the sky. Danzo shot a fireball, which Boro maximised with a wind blast. Hiroki just dodged. The bad guys shot a stream of fire, which chased Itachi and friends around the sky. They continuously spiralled downwards. Finally, they dive-bombed DAnzo.
Hiroki stabbed Boro in the eye, with his beak. Bro yelled in pain about Danzo being a dickbag who always got him injured.
Itachi then used Amaterasu.
Danzo used the Kotoamatsuki to escape, but now he was out of chakra. He then found Itachi's sword in his stomach, and collapsed. Finally, he was dead.
The five ninja (Tsunade, Jiraiya, Naruto, Gai, and Itachi now talked.
"Who's going to be HOkage now?" asked Naruto.
"More importantly, how are we going to cover this up?" asked Tsunade.
"WEll, let me deal with that." Jiraiya said. "I have proof that Danzo is a traitor. My spies have found him plotting the death of Minato with Orochimaru. In addition, sensei told me that DAnzo killed him."
Everyone was shocked. Finally, Itachi asked "How? Didn't everyone say it was the Kyuubi?"
"The truth is that, SAndaime-sama had been shot into a building. Danzo had been spying, and popped up and killed sensei."
"Anyway, who will be Hokage?" asked Tsunade.
"SEnsei also told me about a possible candidate. All five of us will need to convince him."
"Who is this guy?" asked Homura and Koharu, Hiruzen's trusted counsellors.
"You'll see."
The seven ninja, had reached a house at the top of a mountain. There was a small cottage. Jiraiya knocked on the door. A gruff looking man opened.
"What do you- Oh hi Koharu! Hi HOmura!"
"Kagame?"
"Kagame?"
"Shisui's grandfather?"
"Who the hell are these other guys?"
Jiraiya stepped in "This is Itachi, that's Naruto, that's Tsunade, and I'm Jiraiya. Let me get to the point. Kagame Uchiha, do you accept the position of Rokudaime Hokage?"
Okame
Kokuo, the five tails, was gone to buy drugs. He went into the alleyway, and could hear his seller.
"My precioussssssssss….. We wants my preciousssss…. Smeagol wants it. Thief! Thief! Baggins! We hates it forever!"
KOkuo was a bit confused. Gollum wasn't usually this insane. Suddenly, he was mugged.
Gollum took the money, and booked a train for the Shire. Little did he know that he was in the wrong universe.
Sorry, that it took so long. I've been really busy with exams and tests. Hope you enjoyed.