"Um…isn't DAnzo HOkage?"
"He was." said Jiraiya. "NOw he's dead. And we have evidence that he's a traitor: he's responsible for the death of Sandaime-sama and was plotting with Orochimaru to assassinate MInato."
"Um…fine I'll be HOkage. First, I'll talk to the young Uchiha. Good day."
AFterwards, there was a ceremony, in which Kagame was made Hokage, Itachi's name was cleared, and the AKatsuki become closely linked with KOnoha. Since it is all boring politics, we will not discuss it in full.
The annoying voice of Ibiki droned on "Now, you see these towers. Each team will have to protect one tower. The objective is to destroy other towers and protect your on. Three hours. Have fun. IF your tower still stands, you go on to the third part of the exam. NO killing people. Please. OR else I'll have to fill out all those stupid forms."
Sasuke stood next to his tower with his team, brooding over what Itachi had told him.
"I did it because our family were traitors."
Sasuke stood there in shock. HIs bro had told him that he had done it to test himself. Now he found out that his brother had done it to stop a great threat to the village.
"Father was plotting to kill DAnzo, and put himself in his place, as HOkage. Most of the Uchiha were with him as well. I needed to stop it, so I spied on our clan for Konoha. Then I killed them. But I wasn't alone. There was someone else helping me. Uchiha Madara. Sasuke be careful. He'll try to involve you in his plans."
Sasuke tried o ask Itachi who this Madara guy was, but his brother swiftly changed the topic. They started talking about school, but SAsuke avoided all his questions. He wasn't about to talk with his mother's murderer so casually, so soon.
Konohamaru too was brooding. He had had a talk with Jiraiya the other day. The SAnnin had captured him, and taken him to a large bushy tree, which was conveniently placed so that he could look into an onsen.
"Kid, you're not the only one who lost a loved one when the old man died. I was his student, and he was one of the greatest shinobi I ever knew. In a way, it's worse for me. I knew him longer. You weren't even born when he died. What I'm trying to say here is to not get bogged down with revenge. He would want you to live life to the fullest."
How JIraiya had managed to give such a serious lecture while giggling pervetdly was beyond KOnohamaru's comprehension.
The two shinobi were brought back to attention by Ibiki screaming "BEGIN!"
Konohamaru gave his team a quick plan "You guys will defend, and I will attack."
Konohamaru charged forward towards a sand team. It wasn't the redhead's team, he had sensed blood lust coming from, and he doubted he could take the redhead by himself, let alone his team. The sand team had left one ninja guard their tower. He sneered at Konohamaru, expecting him to be a weakling.
"Come on, midget. Since you're so small, I'll let you get the first hit."
Konohamaru smirked inside. He then ran, pretending to stumble occasionally, to look like a clueless genin. At the last moment, he flipped himself, kicked the tower down, and then kicked the genin on the back of the head.
The clueless genin said, "Ow. You're a fucking jerk, bitch." Then, he fell over. Meanwhile, the tower fell over, on the genin.
ON the other side of the field, Neji knocked out some unimportant ninja, while Lee kicked the tower across the whole of Fire Country, screaming about youth. Tenten, randomly stabbed someone with a spear. Gaara was just crushing random people with sand. Temari was hitting Kankuro on his cat head with her fan. Choji was beating the crap out of some guy who had called him fat. Shikamaru was sleeping next to his tower. Ino and Sakura were screaming about who Sasuke like more. Sasuke was resisting the urge to murder both banshees. Shino was just standing there and HInata was just like confused. Kiba was screaming randomly with Akamaru biting some random cat-loving guy. Dosu was laughing for no reason, and Zaku was trying to hit on Kin. Kabuto was pushing up his glasses with his middle finger. HIs two teammates were just slapping people for fun.
Ibiki face-palmed.
IN the end, the only teams left were Zaku's, Sasuke's, INo's, Shino's, Neji's, Gaara's, and Kabuto's.
Ibiiki glared at Gaara. "I hate you you fucking asshole! Thanks to you, I have to fill out about six hundred forms, you bitch!"
Gaara just ignored him.
After Ibiki finished his rant by kicking some trees, and throwing some random chunin into a rock, he began explaining the third part of the exam. "Ok, you will have lunch, and then we will begin the third part. Is there anyone who wants to quit?"
Kabuto raised his hand.
"Okay, four-eyes over there. I expected this, you look like some geek."
Kabuto made a mental note to kill Ibiiki later.
AFter half an hour of coughing, Hayate began explaining the third exam, "You're going to have bouts. You can kill people, because I don't have to fill out forms, Ibiki does. You can surrender if you're a wimp. First fight: Uchiha Sasuke vs. Yoroi
The two combatants stepped down to the arena.
"Heh, little genin. You're going to lose."
Rage boiled in Sasuke. His murdering brother had just returned and had said, "oh i was just being loyal", and now this fucktard was mocking him. As Yoroi charged at him, his eyes changed. Yoroi was now running slower than Sakura, and Sasuke knew that he would punch with his left hand. He could also see the chakra in yoroi's hand and knew he couldn't block it. So, he ducked, and kicked Yoroi, right in the gut.
"oOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH" was Yoroi's intellectual response.
"Um, well that was quick. and really boring. Well at least I got money for my bet" said Hayate "Next fight is Hinata vs Ino!"
Sakura smirked. She could beat Ino, the little weakling, and impress Sasuke!
Ino knew she could bet Sakura, but wanted to humiliate her.
The two kunoichi charged at each other. Sakura kicked Ino in the leg, and Ino bent over in pain. She punched Sakura in the gut, and Sakura pulled her down to the ground. The two began rolling around on the ground screaming randomly.
"SASUKE IS MINE!"
"NO, HE IS MINE, YOU OBESE FOREHEAD FOOL!"
"FUCK OFF, PIG"
A loud crash was heard, as blood from Kakashi's nose propelled him out of the arena. Jiraiya leaned in to get a closer look, and Konohamaru "accidentally" pushed him. The Sannin fell on Hayate, and kicked some random chunin in the face. Hayate screamed, and started pulling out fifty different swords, and tried to massacre Jiraiya.
"YOU FUCKING IDIOTS, TAKE THIS OUTSIDE. NO, JIRAIYA LEAVE! HAYATE STAY INSIDE YOU WORTHLESS REFEREE. I'LL BURN ALL YOUR SWORDS IN FRONT OF YOU!" yelled Kagame.
Meanwhile, Ino and Sakura had gotten away from each other, but Sakura tripped and fell on one of Hayate's swords, bending it .
"YOU BIG BITCH USELESS FANGIRL" roared Hayate picking up a sword. As he pulled back to stab Sakura, he hit Jiraiya in the face with the hilt, causing him to fill, and kick a sword between Hayate's legs.
"NUTMEG" yelled Kiba.
The sword cause Sakura to stumble, and she stepped on more of Hayate's swords.
"WTF HOW DARE YOU DESECRATE MY SWORDS WITH YOUR FEET".
INo suddenly tackled Sakura from behind, and pulled her hair. She then tried to punch Sakura, who ducked, and the punch landed on Hayate, who fell on top of Jiraiya. Sakura grabbed Ino by the legs and tried to pick her up, but fell over, and Ino accidentally head butted Hayate.
"STOP THIS UNYOUTHFUL BEHAVIOUR" yelled Gai, jumping towards the fight. He kicked Jiraiya in the face, and the old sage fell into the stands. Kankuro began laughing, and in annoyance Gaara slapped him with the sand, sending him towards Kagame. Kagame picked up a chunin and hit Kankuro towards the fight.
"HOME RUN, BITCHES" yelled Kagame
Kankuro landed on INo's stomach, and she screamed "PERVERT"
Rock Lee and Gai simultaneously kicked Kankuro, screaming about stopping unyouthful behaviour.
Kakashi returned from his blood ballon, and landed right in the middle of the fight on Hayatae and Jiraiya.
"OW YOU FUCKING RETARD"
Kagame meanwhile smiled at the betting counter guy, and said, give me a billion ryo please.
"HOly Shit!" yelled the betting guy. "Ican't believe your prediction about this stuff happening was right"
Kagame smiled. Well no one knows about my Mangekyou Sharingan's special ability: seeing the future
OMake
KOnan waved a piece of paper excitedly. "Look Deidara, I found a university for you! It's in a different universe, but who gives a shit! Read it!"
The Paper read"
The Allied SHinobi University offers a wide range of intriguing courses and activities, led by professional staff.
Psychology: Inoichi, INo
Biology: TSunade, ORochimaru, Kabuto, SHizune, Sakura, Ino
Chemistry: Tsunade
Physics: Who gives a fuck? Pain does
Math: Udon, Moegi
Art: SAi, DEidara
Clubs:
Kendo: Mangetsu, Suigetsu, Zabuza, Kisame, RAiga, Hayate, Killer Bee, Itachi, Sasuke, Rikudo SAge of the SIx Paths
Puppetry: Sasori, Kankuro, Chiyo
GArdening: Hashirama
Martial arts: GAi, Lee, Neji
Girl-watching: Jiraiya, Kakashi, EBisu, Iruka
Boy-watching: SAkura
Food: Choji, Choza
Strategy games: SHikamaru, Shikaku
SMoking and other drugs: Asuma, five tails
Gaming: Kurama, DAnzo
Necromancy: Hidan
Entomology: SHino, Shino's dad