AWOO, MUTHAFUCKAS! We're back with more of our roadtrip boys. More shenanigans are incoming! Enjoy!
"Three more than you, Roman. And here I thought you were supposed to be the suave one," Qrow drawled as the travelers walked down the final road to Burgundy. Zwei trotted happily at Qrow's side, kept from straying too far by a thin rope Roman had bought in the previous town.
"Hmph." Roman tipped his hat in a way that veiled Qrow from his vision. "I feel that some points should be taken off of your total, one for each slap in the face you've gotten."
"That wasn't in the original rules! You can't go changing them just because you're losing!" Qrow was grinning what he knew to be his most infuriating grin. "Admit it: The ladies love the reckless rogue type."
"Well, they do say it's much harder to find a woman of taste," Roman murmured, twirling his cane. "If you must attract all the rabble and I must find the gems, then so be it."
"Oh, don't even try that! We went for the same girl the other night in Saffron!"
"And she would have gone with me if that dunderhead from the gambling bar hadn't been there to chase me out!" Roman snapped. "You were her second pick."
"Again, that doesn't factor into the points!" Qrow smirked.
Barty was shaking his head. "Honestly, you two. This entire bet is vulgar and, quite frankly, an insult to females. Can we not just tally the results and be done with it?"
"Oh, I'm sure Qrow would love that, wouldn't he?" Roman grumbled.
"Sorry, specs," Qrow said, taking a swig from one of his flasks. "This is going on until we get back to Obsidian."
"I'm strongly considering just running back there once we're done, Huntsmen be damned," Barty muttered, shaking his head. "Let's quicken our pace, shall we? I need a coffee…" He zipped ahead of the other two, quickly disappearing from sight.
"A werewolf prude," Qrow snickered. "Who woulda thought?"
"I wouldn't call him a prude," Roman said. "He has been reading the books I brought with me, and seems quite invested."
"I wouldn't be surprised if he was totally sexless, and this was just 'research' to him," Qrow muttered, making air quotes with his fingers.
"That's a bit mean, isn't it?"
"I didn't mean it as an insult! Hell, some people just don't like sex. I don't get it, but it exists." Qrow shrugged. He was almost a hundred percent positive that Ruby was that way. Even now that she was engaged to Weiss, there was no underlying sexual attraction in their interactions that Qrow noticed, except for a little bit on Weiss's side.
"True," Roman allowed. "It does take all kinds."
"That's one lesson we keep learning, huh?" Qrow muttered, taking a swig from his flask. "Still can't believe you got involved with this whole thing."
"Me neither!" Roman lamented. "I've stopped calculating the damage this is doing to my business, because the numbers are just too depressing…"
"Aw, don't try that. You love those kids."
"True," Roman sighed. "My fatal flaw is my incredibly-large heart."
"Good thing you got something," Qrow said, his eyes glinting. "Considering your score in our bet, you're definitely not sporting an incredibly-large di-"
Roman grabbed Qrow by the collar, brandishing his cane. "Do you really want to finish that?"
Zwei snarled, lunging at Roman and tugging at his pant leg.
"Hey! Don't rip the fabric! That's expensive!" Roman dropped Qrow and started poking at Zwei.
Qrow snickered. "You know, I'm really starting to like this dog."
They entered Burgundy and went into the nearest inn which, sure enough, had Barty drinking his fourth cup of coffee already. "Ah, excellent!" he said when he saw them. "I was just about to look for you. Turns out that our friend Wallace is working at a large bakery near the center of town. Trying to save up to repair his own place after the Grimm attack."
"I coulda told you that," Qrow yawned, sitting down at the bar. "Wanna go find him?"
"Not yet!" Barty insisted. "This plan of ours could go wrong very easily. If this is my last day, I need at least five more of these."
"Seriously, how are you not spending every day just pissing?"
Roman groaned. "How can you not have a mouth filter?"
In the end, Qrow paid for Barty's extra coffees and put some money aside to get him something nice from the bakery. Their plan did put him in a lot of danger, after all.
A little while later, Roman entered the bakery alone, sporting his signature winning smirk. "Wallace! Where are you, old timer?"
An older, portly woman behind the counter laughed and waved at the trader. "Hiya, Roman. Wally's in the back with the stock. I'll tell him you're here. Feel free to browse around, okay?"
"Sure thing, Marge." Roman tipped his hat. "And may I just say how lovely you look today?"
"Oh, you flirt!" Marge chuckled. "Lucky for you, flattery gets you everywhere. Hey, Wallace! You got a visitor!" she called over her shoulder.
The old, bearded baker stepped out from the next room, his face brightening when he saw Roman. "Hey, Roman. What are you doing here, you old rogue? And what's Marge doing letting you in?" He nudged his boss's shoulder with a laugh.
"Oh, just wondering if you wanted to share a drink after work today. Also, what's a good treat to buy for a friend who's obsessed with coffee?"
"I can answer that!" Marge cut in. "The cinnamon buns. Cover them in white frosting, and they're just the thing to contrast even the blackest brews."
"Sounds good to me," Roman said with a grin. "Would you please wrap one up to go?"
"Only if you taste one of the molasses cookies I have over there." Marge pointed toward one of the display cases. "I know how much you love them, and I need an expert's opinion."
"Marge, you're twisting my arm!" Roman laughed, already making his way toward the case.
"Make sure he only takes one, Wallace. I'll keep an eye on the ovens." Marge waved as she walked into the back.
Roman took a cookie and bit down. "Mmm. She is a fine woman, Wallace."
"She sure is…" Wallace sighed wistfully.
Roman smirked. "You know, she's been a widow for five years," he said in a hushed voice. "I'm sure she'd be happy with a fellow such as yourself."
Wallace coughed loudly. "Let me decide that, you meddling rogue. Now, where are those apprentices of yours?" He looked sharply at the trader. "I've been hearing some rumors from the other towns, you know."
Roman saw the look and knew immediately that the baker had already guessed at a few things. "They're in Obsidian," he muttered.
"I see. And that red-haired girl?"
"She's exactly what you think she is," Roman confirmed.
Wallace let out a long breath, shaking his head. "I knew it. That day when she came to my shop and I saw her eyes… I just knew it."
"Well, now she's trapped in Obsidian," Roman muttered, glancing toward the back of the store as he talked, making sure Marge wasn't coming back. "A bunch of Huntsmen blockaded the whole area. My two friends and I had to sneak past them. We're hoping to get enough people willing to help convince those idiots to leave the woods and let people travel the paths and hunt again."
"Not sure if I can leave here," Wallace said honestly. "I have a steady job, and so do most of the other shopkeepers. Your best bet would be going to the other traders."
"I know that," Roman said. "But, having more sympathetic people in this town will still help us in the long run. We're hoping to all return to Vale."
"Vale, eh?" Wallace shook his head. "Nasty things going on there. I heard the Elder Council has gone mad."
"Seems so. Look, can you round up anyone in town who can be trusted to not throw a fit? I'll do the same for the traders. Bring them to where I usually have my cart."
Wallace snorted. "Like I know where your cart is! I don't buy those filthy books!"
"Of course not," Roman soothed. You just have your friends do it for you. "It's in the clearing near the path to Vale. Bring whoever will come."
Wallace frowned. "You don't have…one of them with you, do you?"
Roman put a finger to his lips. "Shh. See no, hear no, speak no evil." He straightened up. "Now, how about that cinnamon roll?"
After giving Barty his snack, Roman visited several traders that he knew in the market area, then returned to his companions an hour before sunset. "Well, that's that."
Qrow's hand was on his blade. "Are you sure you don't want me hanging around? Things could get ugly."
Barty shook his head. "No, no. It wouldn't do any good. If they turn into a mob, we need a speedy retreat. I can carry Roman on my back easily. Two would slow me down."
"Besides," Roman added. "Even if we get killed, you still need to get to Vale."
Qrow ran a hand through his hair, letting out a breath through his teeth. "If you get killed, there won't be much point in going back to Obsidian. Panic will spread, and everyone'll be fucked."
"Yes, I'd prefer to not think about that possibility, thank you very much!" Barty cut in. He was holding Zwei in his lap and handed the pup over to Qrow very reluctantly. "I'll certainly miss this dog. Goodbye, Zwei."
Zwei whined, trying to wriggle out of Qrow's arms.
Qrow looked thoughtfully at the dog. "Ya know, you were right about what you said before, Barty."
"Of course I was." Barty pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "What specifically?"
"I can't exactly bring this dog to Vale while I'm supposed to be exiled. Tai will get asked too many questions." He placed Zwei on the ground, allowing the pup to sit down next to the werewolf scholar. "Why don't you hold onto him for now? We can give him to Tai when we all come back."
Barty's face lit up as he picked up Zwei. "Wonderful idea! Simply splendid!" He chuckled as the pup started licking his chin.
Roman rolled his eyes. "Great. I get to be stuck with the mangy mutt for even longer."
"He's not mangy!" Barty protested, covering Zwei's ears. "Don't be so rude!"
Qrow snickered. Wow. I'm actually gonna miss those two. "Okay. I'll meet you in Obsidian if you aren't here when I get back. Roman, we'll compare numbers then."
"Hope you're ready to lose!" Roman said, folding his arms.
"You two really are a vulgar pair…"
Qrow waved casually, as if he was fully confident that he'd see his companions alive and well again. "Good luck!" he called.
"You too!" Roman turned to Barty. "It's almost time. Are you ready?"
Barty swallowed nervously. "Can I…keep Zwei with me?"
Roman considered this, then grinned. "Actually, having a puppy in your arms may help our case."
…..
About an hour after midnight, people started arriving in the clearing by the path to Vale. Roman stood alone, leaning on his cane, a winning smile on his face as he welcomed each person. "Hello, there. Good to see you. Martin! It's been months!"
A few people were muttering with confusion. Those who knew Roman knew that he wasn't supposed to be in Burgundy at this time of year.
Roman waited until he was sure everyone had arrived, then spread out his hands. "Greetings, friends. You're probably wondering what I'm doing in this area without my cart, my horse, and my assistant."
"Not to mention those apprentices you were toting last time!" Martin, the blacksmith, called out. "You scare them all off?" There were a few chuckles at that.
"Afraid not," Roman replied easily. "It's actually on their behalf that I'm here. There has been…a bit of trouble."
The laughing subsided, and the faces of those gathered became more concerned. "Anything we can do to help, Roman?" one of the traders called out. "We can give a loan if they need bailing. We know you're good for it."
"That's not the issue, I'm afraid," Roman sighed. "I only wish it were that easy. No…my apprentices are in need of a much different kind of help. They are being hounded by Huntsmen, more even than the guard I had with me."
"Why?" Martin asked. "They aren't criminals, are they?"
"No, my friend. No… It's much worse." Roman placed a hand over his heart. "I was asked to keep this a secret, but there's no point anymore. Many of the people I was traveling with were exiled from their hometown. They have a nameless condition, one that their priests decided was a curse. It cannot be carried by air, and yet they were shunned. I took them in when I was passing through their home."
"What's the condition?" a young woman asked.
"As I said, it has no name," Roman said, crossing his fingers behind his back. "But, it caused them to be scorned by their peers and exiled from their home, even though it was something they couldn't control." He shaded his eyes with his hat. "They were…so relieved when I took them in. After you all treated them so well, I thought their problems would be over. I was so wrong."
By this point, everyone was fully invested in Roman's words. Got 'em, he thought, hiding a smirk.
He went on to tell about how his apprentices chose to take up arms with the Huntsmen during the Grimm attack, how some of them had been injured, how the group had needed to split apart in order to see to a pack of straggling Beowolves. When he talked about Obsidian, and about how Sage and Scarlet had been tied up and had their faces covered, there were angry mutters from the crowd.
Finally, he told his riveted audience about the Nuckelavee fight, the death of several people, and the final battle with the vampires.
"You'd think that would be enough to convince everyone that my friends are an asset, but alas, Huntsmen came from far and wide and have blockaded Obsidian. They intend to remain there until my friends are killed." Roman spread his hands. "I had to leave Neo behind with what's left of my stock, and am now here, asking for help. Those of you who can, please come to Obsidian. All the others, spread the word about my friends and tell anyone you meet that they are not to be feared."
Some of the people were nodding avidly, while a few were doubtful. "Vampires?" one of them muttered. "Sounds made up to me."
"And what do I have to gain from making this up?" Roman asked. "I'm not asking for money. I don't have my cart, so I can't sell you anything. Literally all I want is for there to be enough people to convince the Huntsmen to call off the blockade."
"Are they lepers?" the young woman from before wondered. "What kind of disease could cause Huntsmen to blockade an entire town?"
This was it. The entire plan would either work or fall apart completely here.
"Well, I didn't say it was a disease," Roman said suavely. "Only a condition. And…I did fib a little."
"Knew it!" someone shouted.
"The condition does have a name," Roman continued. "In fact, I have a friend with me tonight who has this condition. He wishes to meet you, but will only come out if you promise to not harm him or me."
"You have my word, Roman!" Wallace called out.
Martin frowned suspiciously, but shrugged a shoulder. "Hmph. I won't attack a man unprovoked. That's all I'll promise. Bring him out."
Roman nodded, taking a deep breath. "Barty? Come on out."
The bushes rustled as Bartholomew stepped out of the shadows. The moon shined on his olive-colored fur and glinted off of his special glasses. He held Zwei in his long arms, pressing the dog's back to his chest like a shield. His ears were flat and his tail was wrapped around his left hind leg. He walked forward until he was standing just behind Roman, and turned his gaze on the gathered humans.
Slowly, slowly, he lifted a clawed hand and waved.
It's been a while since I left you off on a cliffhanger, hasn't it? I didn't want you guys to think I stopped caring. ^_^ Hm, maybe I should switch back to Obsidian next week, and- *sees several weapons pointed at me* Or, I could not do that.
If you like what you see and want to show extra support in exchange for rewards, my P/atreon is Solora Goldsun.
Peace out!