Bai Qian discreetly watched her mentor from the corner of her eyes. She kept her pretense of reading the bounded-paper novel she bought from the mortal realm. Her eyes perused his long fingers, currently wrapped around a wooden scroll which she would bet was yet another book of philosophy of Taoism, to his toned arm, his bicep and finally his face. The same face that she spent unimaginable years watching without being bored.
There were times she itched to caress his soft lips, his pert nose, his scuffed beard or rake her fingers through his long hair. Suffice to say anywhere on his body she could lay her fingers, now that she could do it without being accused of defiling and ravishing her own respectable mentor. She wanted to breathe in his sandalwood scent, to feel the heat of his flesh under her claws and to listen his heartbeat to convince herself he was really here; alive and very much in love with her. Bai Qian's brows unknowingly furrowed deeper as she got lost in her thoughts. She knew Mo Yuan well enough to recognize that his feeling for her was genuine. The way his eyes swept across her was full of fondness, warmth and caring. His lips tugged up and spread into smiles more often when they were alone.
Honestly speaking, the very fact that he was in love with her still boggled her mind. When did it start? Was it love at first sight? Did he see her true identity through Zhe Yan's disguised spell and was enamored by her beauty? Bai Qian immediately scoffed at her own ridiculous speculation. While many praised her to be the first and foremost beauty among the Immortals; she was not deluded enough to believe that her looks alone was enough to turn Mo Yuan's head. It was given that Mo Yuan had met countless of stunning beauties along his long life. Yet never before he got together with someone, much less asked any of them to be his lifelong companion. At least, if what she heard from Zhe Yan and her family was correct. So what gives? What did he find in her that made her desirable to him. She bit down her lips; wracking her brain to find the reason.
Mo Yuan watched her watching him from under his eye lashes with great amusement. He was fascinated with the ever changing expressions on her face. At first, she was checking him out discreetly, or at least that was what she thought it was. Then she became annoyed with something else and started chewing her lips mindlessly. Now she was being skeptical; the lingering, hesitant gaze she trained on his person was very telling.
He moved silently over to her, seeing she completely retreated into her own inner thought. He rubbed his thumb gently over her abused flesh. "What is it that has you upset over?" Her doe eyes looked up at him; her gaze staring straight into his own, searching, looking intently for the answer her inquisitive mind yearned for.
"Seventeenth," he reminded her of his question. This habit of falling into trance at an inappropriate moment seemed never really leaving her after all these years.
Bai Qian licked her lips nervously; the soft tip of her tongue swept over his thumb by accident, sending a shiver of desire down his own spine at the innocent yet suggestive gesture.
"I'm merely wondering," she whispered. "Why me? Out of all female immortals you could have had, you chose me. What is it that you see in me? What is it that you want from me?"
Despite her vulnerability; she looked at him in earnest and did not shy away from the intensity of his answering gaze. "Why not you? You intrigue me. A feat not many succeeded." His reply was lighthearted, almost teasingly.
For once, Bai Qian seemed incredulous. "I got you intrigued?" her voice pitched high in disbelief, "That is your answer?"
He chuckled at her affronted expression. "It is not necessarily a bad thing." So this was what twisted her knots? Mo Yuan swallowed his grin, lest it provoked her ire again. "Honestly, I never plan to fall for anyone; least of all you. You are my disciple after all," he shushed her protest, placing his index finger upon her lips.
"Admit it, you are a walking contradiction, Seventeenth. You defy everything that a proper, high-born lady is supposed to be. You spent twenty thousand years in Kunlun Mountain learning tactical strategies and how to wage war instead of running a household. You live your life with abandonment and unbidden by rules. Why else did you get yourself entangled with Li Jing? Someone you were not supposed to fall for?" Mo Yuan said.
"At the same time you are sensible, honourable and righteous as one of your station should be. You often stand up when faced with prejudices and injustices even when it is not directed at you. You can be unforgiving and ruthless, ready to tumble with any ruffians, yet gentle, compassionate and caring to the weak and helpless."
Mo Yuan ran his finger through her long, smooth hair, reassuring and conveying his affection for her. "You are witty and borderline sarcastic, brash and disrespectful at times but you did not do it out of pure spite. You simply do not follow or trust blindly and only listen to those who earned your respect. Those qualities are what hold my interest."
Bai Qian felt the heat rising to her face. She doesn't know if she should be offended or pleased with his observation of her characters.
Mo Yuan cupped up her face in his hand, not allowing her to turn her face away from him. "Does that answer the questions you ask of me, Seventeenth?"
"I suppose so," she murmured softly, shyly even. But she did not stop there, more questions spilled from her mouth. "So that's why but how? And when did you know you're in love with me?"
Mo Yuan lifted his eyebrows at her unrelenting demands. He took a long time to reflect upon himself. "It is just like I said, I never plan to fall for anyone. For a long time. I believed what I felt for you was a fatherly affection towards a young girl who is a daughter of my old friend."
"Perhaps..," he trailed off, "Perhaps, the first cue was when Yao Guang kidnapped you and held you captive."
"When you were delirious with high fever, you kept repeating Yao Guang or anyone else is not worthy of me. Then you refused to let of my hand and held it tightly against you all night. Your obvious possessiveness of me warmed my heart and made me inexplicably happy."
"Then Qing Cang kidnapped you. You came to me in my vision, in distressed. Your fear-stricken face haunted me so. Despite the timing was not right and the consequences could be disastrous, I rush out alone to save you and Ninth. When I got there and you flew straight into my arms and hugged me so tightly; I felt relieved, calm and whole again. That was when I realized the depth of my feeling for you is far beyond that of mentoring."
"So that's why you took my trial upon yourself? You were afraid I would get hurt?" Bai Qian wondered aloud. Her hand reached out and clutched the lapel of his front tightly.
"Wait. If you know you are in love with me by then, why didn't you say anything to me? Why did you let Li Jing pursue me freely?" She frowned, a little disturbed at that realization.
"What would you do if I professed my undying love for you back then, Seventeenth?" Mo Yuan asked. "Would you accept my suit?"
"Of course, I will!" She cried out, then pouted. "Did you ever have any doubts?"
"I did not doubt you would say yes but for what reason?" He turned the question right back at her. "Were you truly in love with me or it was merely a young girl's crush? How would you know the difference between true love and infatuation?"
Bai Qian looked miffed. "I would have know. I am not that dense."
"No, you would not, Seventeenth." Mo Yuan shook his head at her. There was a slight smile on his lips." Your dalliance with Li Jing, however brief, disappointing and painful it was, made you grow up. You come out as an adult who understands the world better."
"Genuine affection for one another is not enough for a couple to last. A pledge of love and future together is but a word of mouth. Honesty, commitment, dedication, timing, circumstance, your family, who you are and your responsibilities to your station .. all play a crucial part in a relationship that last. How can you make your decision until you understand that truth?"
"Seventeenth, our life are eternal. If we are not certain of our feelings, we might as well doom the rest of our life to heartaches and regrets. Won't that be even more insufferable then? Until you know your own heart and what you truly want, I refuse to involve you in my selfish desire to have you, only to have you regret your decision later. Can you understand that?" He stared at her, waiting patiently for her acknowledgment.
Bai Qian pursed her lips disapprovingly. She understood why he was cautious but it was foolish and such a waste of opportunity. They kept dancing around each other when they could have the happiness they always wanted, however short-lived it would be. Then another thought came across her mind. He had said 'timing, circumstance and responsibilities.' Did he foresee what was going to happen since that far back?
She felt strong emotions swelled in her chest, her breath hitched, as understanding dawned on her. Her mentor knew Qing Cang had the Bell of Eastern Emperor secured in his hand and was not afraid to use it to seize his victory. He had predicted the worst and prepared to sacrifice himself even then.
Bai Qian closed her eyes to hide the tremulous dismay she felt. She buried her face into his chest and nuzzled her face against his warmth. He hid his affection for her to spare her from the pain of his miserable death. He let her choose her own path to freed her from being bounded by his love. That sounded very much like him. Were they lovers back then; she highly doubted she would survive the separation caused by his sudden demise. Young, irrational and grieving as she would have been, she would kill herself and follow him into oblivion without second thought.
"Or perhaps you were wrong and what I felt for you was truly love," she said softly.
Bai Qian finally took control of her inner turmoil. She looked up at him as she bared her soul to him. "Even years after your supposed death, when I close my eyes I can still see your face clearly in my mind, hear your voice in my ears. The feel of your essence and your scent is still deeply ingrained in me. I cannot forget the warmth of your hand or the small smile on your lips. I maybe too oblivious to recognize my own feeling as romantic love rather than filial love, but it is there still burning as bright as it once was."
"I am certain that were I drink the water from the River of Oblivion and be born again; my feelings for you will never change. My eyes will still search for this face, these eyes; my heart will still yearn for your presence." Her hand reached up to caress his face. "If that is not love, I don't know what it is."
Mo Yuan's heart skipped a beat after hearing her heartfelt confession. Love and affection that shone brightly out her eyes and filled her voice warmed his heart and made him elated with joy. One of his arm wrapped around her small frame and brought her closer to him until the whole length of their bodies were pressed up against each other. He rested his forehead on hers and felt their warm breath mingled intimately.
A soft, faint whisper of endearment reached her ears. Bai Qian's eyes widened with excitement and wonder. "Say that again." Her trembled voice pleaded; her fingers clutched his strong, calloused hand tightly.
Their head parted a little and allowed a small space between them; she saw briefly a tug of smile on his lips. She watched his face came down closer to hers, closed her eyes and waited for him. The first touch of his lips was light and swift. Disappointed, Bai Qian stretched higher. She stood on the tips of her toes and pressed forward, letting him bear her full weight and seeking more of his warmth. Her hands curled around his neck and pulled his head down to her.
Their lips touched again; firmer, harder, with growing fervor this time. His warm tongue touched against her lips, silently asking for entrance. When her mouth parted, he slipped his tongue inside, touching and sliding it over hers, seeking the sweetness that was uniquely hers. She let her tongue entwine with his, softness to softness, incredibly intimate.
Bai Qian broke the kiss and panted softly when she pulled back. She allowed the air to fill her lung then started it all over again. This time she did to him what he had done to her. Mo Yuan opened himself to her and took what she gave freely. Thrust by thrust their tongue met, sliding back and forth; in and out; mimicking the ancient dance they would love to perform together one day.
His hands moved to her bottom and her shoulder, lifting her up and bending her neck down as his mouth worked against hers. She sighed with disappointment as he drew away then purred sensually when his mouth found its way from the corner of her jaw down the column of her neck. The burning heat of his lips left a hot, wet trail on her soft skin.
"Aaah.." her breath escaped in a strangled, broken sob at the foreign sensation he had awaken in her. Her fingers slide from around his neck, slipped into his hair and held it tightly. She wanted his lips to touch every single part of her body.
As if fueled by her faint cry of passion, Mo Yuan's other hand moved away from her shoulder and rubbed down her back, Bai Qian instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist to stabilize herself. Her face heated up and she blushed furiously when her lower part pressed up intimately and suggestively against his strong and lean body. Even with their clothes in between, she could feel the heat radiated from him. Then his heat became hers and it spread throughout her body.
In her maiden shyness, she squirmed restlessly against him, wanting to get closer and putting a little distance between them at the same time. The move created sweet friction between them. She whimpered in delight and pressed down harder.
"Ma..ster, oooh.." Bai Qian moaned breathlessly; she was melting inside. She both wanted this sweet torturing to stop and never stop. Her thighs tensed up and shook hard. "Oh, please.." She pleaded softly against his ear and nipped its tip lightly in reprimand when he did not give her what she wanted.
She did not missed how rigid his body became when she did just that. Bai Qian hid her smirk; she never knew he was sensitive around that area. Experimentally, she lightly wrapped the tip of her tongue around the bottom of his ear and pulled it into her mouth. The instant reaction she got from him was far greater than she ever suspected.
Mo Yuan groaned deeply and harshly against the slight sheen of sweat on the nape of her neck. His hips jerked up involuntarily and rubbed against her warm center when she sucked hard on his earlobe. Heaven forbid, she was growing to be even more tantalizing and tempting. His hands reached out to cup her bottom more firmly, preparing to crush their bodies tighter and chase after that elusive overwhelming sensation again. Suddenly her weight was gone, all he caught was emptiness.
"Seventeenth!" Mo Yuan cried out, his hands still reaching out in a futile attempt to catch her. Only then he realized it was but a mere dream, a memory of their time together in the past. He sighed heavily and adjusted his pants in discomfort before taking several calm and deep breath to cool down his aroused body. It seemed his beloved loves to play prank on him even in his dreams but he would not have it any other way. He missed her presence and the feeling of her warm body pressing up against him so much.
The dream also brought him some small comfort. For the past month, no matter how hard he wished to deny nothing had changed between them, the thought of her past entanglement with Ye Hua had troubled his mind and loomed over their relationship. Although he knew she loved and was head-over-heel in love with him; it was still hard to shake off the cold, hard truth that she was someone else's wife and mother for a time.
The undying commitment and solid promise in her demeanor, brought back by the dream, reminded him he should never doubted the depth for her feeling for him. He refused to believe that, were she to regain her memories, her trial as a mortal could and would overweight the millennials they spent together. If his small Seventeenth was too stubborn to let go of him seventy thousand years after his death; it was ridiculous to ever suspect she would leave him for the remnant of memories from her years as a mortal. A lifetime that was disastrous, full of betrayals and heart-wrenching to begin with.
Mo Yuan shook his head at his own foolishness. Dong Hua was right about one thing - Mo Yuan grudgingly admitted in the silence of his head - being in love had indeed fooled his head and muddled his perceptiveness. Now he had no more time to spare those thoughts anymore. Today was the day he would get back what was owed to his beloved.
When Mo Yuan reached Kunlun Mountain's Grand Hall, all fifteen of his disciples were already seated in their line, awaiting his arrival. After placing himself on the dais, his gaze swept over each of them, one by one. He nodded imperceptibly, with no less than satisfaction, when he found the answering ferociousness in their eyes. None of them would back down come what may happen today. They are his protégés, his legacy and his family. He was proud of them all.
"Remember the reason of why we are doing this," he reminded them. "We are not seeking petty revenge or picking a fight blindly." They only had one common goal in mind: to protect and take care of their own.
"We understand, Master," they gave their words as one.
"Then let's move out," Mo Yuan told him. By this time, guests should be arriving at the Ninth Heaven. The ball was in Ye Hua's court now. Mo Yuan's lips twisted into a strange smile; he cannot wait to see how it played out.
Note : The events in the dreamscape set around the first few months into Mo Yuan and Bai Qian's retreat in the Mortal Realm.