** Warning: This chapter contains highly graphic adult materials. **

italic text = Personal thought

.

:: Peach Tree Groove ::

Mo Yuan sent bursts of his spiritual power inside her body to stabilize her. His lips pressed grimly; he should have known it was too soon for the revelation. But he had no other explanation to give her, save for the truth. He never lied to her and he would not start it now. His fingers let go off the pulse point on her wrist; at least her heart and lung were not damaged too badly. Slowly, he laid her body back down on the bedding and let her rest.

He rush over to Zhe Yan's hut knowing the Phoenix healer kept some of his elixir readily at hand. After sniffing a few bottles and confirmed that it was the one he was looking for; he hurried back to her side. He could not chance her waking up alone after that.

When Bai Qian came back to the world of consciousness; she tilted her face to the side and became disoriented. She fluttered close her eyelashes and waited until the dizziness went away. She opened her eyes again and looked straight into his worrying face.

"I have the strangest dream ever. You told me that I was pregnant and lost my child even before I knew it," her voice cracked. She waited, hoping him to confirm that it was just the weirdness her twisted mind conjured on its own. But the agony in his solemn eyes told her otherwise. "It is all true, is it not? That day, Qing Cang … this is what everyone is hiding from me. Zhe Yan, he refused to tell me."

What had she done? She had believed she did something good, saving him, saving all of them. In the end, she saved no one. Her life was almost extinguished. And her child… Mo Yuan's and hers. The child she wanted so much to birth someday. A link to prove their love and commitment to each other. A hope for their future together as a true family. No more .. her child was gone even before she had a chance to cherish him or her. Gone because of her stupidity, her ignorance.

Why did she not know it? How could she not know? There must be signs that she was carrying but she was too careless, too blind, to see them. She had no one to blame but herself. Was it painful when its spirit was being decimated? The pain was excruciating for her. How much of agony it would cause her child?

It was hers; by her own hands that she condemned her child not only to its undeserving end, but to be tormented to death. What kind of mother was she? She was a monster! Why did she survive? She should be dead, not her child. It was so unfair, why would her child paid a price for her mistake?

"Seventeenth," Mo Yuan tried to stir her from her listless silence. The way her face remained apathy disturbed him greatly. Her blank eyes staring up, past him, past the hut's ceiling into nothingness. He shook her body roughly to rouse her, still she showed no signs of awareness. He could tell she truly did not recognize his presence there.

Just as he thought that her mind was taking leave of absence from reality; her head slowly turned his way. Her blank eyes stared into his — eyes so bleak and hollow that made him ached for her.

"Why are you still here?" She finally asked.

"There is no where I want to be rather than here, with you." he told her gently.

"You should not be here. Why do you not hate me? Do you not see it? I killed our child. With these hands, I killed it with my stupidity." She cried out, on the verge of hysteric after learning the sin she had committed.

"Seventeenth, do not say it like that."

"It is no wonder you do not want a child with me. Who would want such a monster for their children?" She laughed bitterly. Her small shoulder racked with inconsolable sob. "What an irony, to think I could be a better mother for Ali. I am a menace even to myself. How could I be any child's mother?"

"They says misery loves company. You really should have gone far away from me, leaved when you had the chance. Then you would not have to witness your child getting killed by a heartless mother like me."

For a moment, Mo Yuan almost did not recognize her; he had never seen her like that. Broken like ragged dolls being stomped upon too many times. So bitter and thoroughly shattered. It made him worry that she would shut down and shun him out.

He did not take to heart though, how she lashed out at him, in her moment of pain and grief. "You did not know, Seventeenth. Do not do this, do not blame yourself." He reached out for her to soothe away her pains.

"That says a lot about me, does it not? What kind of mother did not know she is with child?" She brush his hand off and turned her back to him. She did not deserved his gentleness. Did he not get it? She killed their child!

"Seventeenth, it was too early to tell for a first time mother. Zhe Yan said so himself." Mo Yuan confided in her, although he knew it would not make much different to her. "And if anyone is at fault here, it would be me."

"How so? You would know my body better than me?" came her muffled voice.

"I could have taken better care with you, when you fell ill." Had he paid more attention to her sickness, they would have found out early on about her pregnancy, long before Qing Cang, the Bell had a chance to take their future away.

"You just said that to make me feel better," she said pitifully, her back still to him.

"It is the truth. I should have suspected it when you were acting all too calm ever since we came back from the Nine Heaven that day," he spoke further. "You barely prodded at me how I planned to deal with the Bell. That could only meant you were plotting a plan of your own. It was negligent on my part."

Mo Yuan took a deep breath, preparing to drop the final tidbit that would shake them up. "And if you want the specific, I am undeniably the one at fault here. It is me who condemned our child's life," he intoned gravely, with all seriousness.

Bai Qian rolled back and fixed him with an incredulous stare. "Are you out of your mind? I am the one that decided to tempt fate and sacrificed my spirit to the Bell. How is it that you condemned our child? Because you built the Bell, is that not a little far fetched?"

"Seventeenth, when you were studying with me, did I not teach you there is a price for everything we do? Breaking the most fundamental law of heaven is a grievance not to be taken likely. My return from the Nothingness is unnatural. It defies everything we stand for. I always know there will be repercussions. Perhaps another calamity that awaits me." Needlessly to say, he ignored all possible consequences at the time. Returning to her was always at the forefront of his mind. "I just never thought the tragedy would strike at our child, instead of me."

"You really are out of your mind." Bai Qian slowly got up and stared him down. She griped the front of his robe tightly. "Did you forget for a second that it was me who refused to let you go? It was me who kept forcing that heartblood into your mouth. It was me that refined that Elixir from divine fungal grass and fed it to you. If the fault lies with you for trying to come back from the Nothingness, what is that said about me? Am I not also condemning our child?"

"Had I stopped repairing my spirit even for one day, all of your sacrifices will be for naught," he reminded her bluntly. "I should have known better."

The shame and pure remorse in his voice cut her deep. Bai Qian can not believe his gall to say that. "Better than what exactly? Better than never returned at all? Or better than being with me? If you said that, I am going to hit you." And she literally meant it.

"I am not saying I regret coming back and getting together with you, because I do not. Even so, I could have protected you and our child better."

For the moment, the grief and self-loathing evaporated from her mind and replaced with irritation. "How?" She was so frustrated with him for taking all the burden unto himself like the usual. "You will put me into shackles and refuse to allow me to go anywhere without you? You would intervene every time something trivial happened to me? I am not one of those weak, pitiful females waiting for someone to save me. I fight my own battle. Always, you know that."

Fiery glares being exchanged between them until Bai Qian scoffed and let go of him. "Look at us, what a pair we made of. Both of us are trying to put all the blames on our own."

"I am serious about what I said, Seventeenth."

She pressed her face into his shoulder; drained from her emotional breakdown. "Do I not know that?" She replied wryly. Over their heated argument, she managed to get a grip on herself and gained back some semblance of sanity. Allowing tumultuous emotions to overwhelm her senses again will not help them.

"No, you still do not understand." He stared past her shoulder into the empty space; his looks matched his sober voice. "There is no way to know for certain whether the repercussion for my second chance at life have been paid off."

She reached for his arm and gave it a squeeze. "What are you saying?" Her heart raced with that feeling of dread, already had an inkling of what he hinted at.

"What if the retribution is not cancelled out with this one sacrifice? But wait to strike again in the future?"

Her head understand his wariness. The possibility that their next child could be doomed as well. But her heart can not accept it. The idea that she would never bare him children was too painful to swallow. "You do not know that. You are making a guess."

"One with high probability and reasons."

She shook her head vehemently. "I refuse to believe that. Heaven would not be so cruel to us. One life spared, another was taken. How could they take any more?"

"Then what do you want me to do? Get you with child again and wait for another tragedy to fall on our head and rob yet another child from us?" Mo Yuan's deceptively soft voice asked; hints of despair leaked through despite the tight control he had exerted over himself. "Do not ask that of me, Seventeenth."

For the first time, Bai Qian noticed the swimming tears in his eyes. Gone was the stoic, larger than life God of War; now in his place stood a man weighed down with guilt and grief. "Mo Yuan," the words died out in her throat. The desolate looks on his face utterly broke her heart. Never before she saw him so lost, so vulnerable. He was always so strong, a pillar of strength for her and everyone else. They all looked up to him when the world fell apart around them.

It was not her alone who grieve or agonize over the death of their child. He was suffering as well and perhaps more so than she did. She was fortunate enough to lose her consciousness and remained blissfully unaware until now. But the same courtesy did not extend to him. He had to witness her dying moment in the most gruesome way. And while her life was still hang by a thin thread, he was tormented with another loss, an innocence life that was snuffed out too early. One that he could not fix, nor undo it.

It was then Bai Qian came to grasp the true depth of his misery. She could not fathom the helplessness he must have felt at that moment. So powerless to change anything when he thought it was his own fault. And how long he had borne such burden alone? Without saying anything to her? Months, it was months since then. Tears spilled forth her eyes. All this time, he suffered in silence for her sake. And she made it worse for him without even knowing. This was why it shook him so bad when she asked for children. She had put him through that pain, that agony again.

She made a silent promise that he would never suffer alone again. She needed to stay strong for him too. For that reason, she could not let herself become lost in grief, in self-loathing and what could have been anymore. She failed to be there for him these past months because of her ignorance. But no more. Bai Qian was determined to be the safe port amid the storm of life, welcoming him with peace and love and giving him the respite he needed. She could not be selfish and asked more of him. Not when he was not ready. "I would not ask again," her promise was given.

"That will leave you childless. I should never touch you again if I am not going to give you what you rightfully deserve." He confessed his weakness.

"I already have Ali, did you forget? And, most important, I have yet to believe you." She pulled back a little and pleaded him to look at her. "We will turn every pages, every books to find a clue, we will talk to Emperor Dong Hua when he emerges from his isolation, and we will do everything we can to figure it out together and clear this doubt away. I will ask Zhe Yan for his peach contraceptives, I will take them a long as it takes. But I will not forsake this intimacy, this closeness that proves we are alive and together. Do you hear me, Mo Yuan?"

Despite their despairing circumstance, her optimistic enthusiasm alleviated the heaviness in his heart. "You are too stubborn."

"For our own good this time," she encountered quickly. "Promise me, you will work with me. I can not do this without you. We will mourn for our child but we will not lose hope. I refused to believe that heaven will turn its back on us. This world, all the lives we had saved meant something; karma must be smiling on us in the end."

He wanted to ask from where she had gain such confidence but dared not destroy her hope. The future would be so bleak and empty then. His long fingers wiped away the remnant of her tears.

"Promise me, Mo Yuan. You will never ever forsake me." Her hand move to cover his and squeezed it tightly.

"Did I not tell you before, I can not anymore. I need you to be here."

"I am here," she insisted, "You really need to let loose, Mo Yuan, keeping all that emotions bottled up inside can not be healthy." She said pointedly. "In the future, if something happens again, you will tell me right away. I am here for you; you can lean on me for a chance. Do not keep things to yourselves anymore. I am more than willing to share your burden. Do you hear me now?"

Her words touched a chord in him. He had been raised from a very young age to protect the weak, to shoulder everyone's burdens, to be their rock and shield. They relied on him and no other way around. It was not in him to admit being vulnerable or unable to handle his own grief. Yet this young woman was telling him to lean on her and share himself with her. His heart grew warm; it was comforting to know he would not be judged for his momentary weakness.

Bai Qian wished to offer her comfort, the only way she know how. Years and years of being tough would wear someone out. Yes, pressure and hardship molded him into what he was today, the much revered God of War. But even the most brilliant and strongest god could crack under too much pressure. The loss of their child was one of those catalysts.

She reached out and entwined her arms around his shoulder. He did not fight her, when she pulled him into her tight embrace, nor he yielded to her completely. "Let me," she whispered. Her head dipped down allowing her little nose to nuzzle softly against his head. Soothing circles were rubbed into the hard planes of his back and shoulder. After a time, it seemed to be working; the tension in his muscles melt away. His arms tightened around her waist; more of his weight shifted off her. They stayed like that, clinging to each other, for how long she did not care to know. She did not protest when he backed off and loosened his arms around her.

Mo Yuan raised his head and looked deep into her eyes. Despite her puffy eyes and blotchy face; she was still gorgeous. His heart swelled as he saw how fierce the love and concern for him shone brightly out of her eyes. Affection and love blossomed in his chest. This life, only have her was just enough. He leaned up and claimed her lips for his own. "I love you." He watched on as stunning faded from her face and replaced with beautiful radiance.

She bent down, her hair fell like a curtain around them. Her soft lips brushed against his lips, his temple, and his pert nose with the gentlest touches. Mo Yuan closed his eyes and relished the loving touch she bestowed on him. He blinked his eyes open at the feel of her hands glided over to his headpiece and unbound his hair.

Bai Qian watched as his hair tumbled in a dark cascade down his back. She always loved seeing him this way, younger and more carefree. She brush the stray hairs off his face; her fingers caressed along his distinctive masculine jawline. He turned his head slightly; his lips pressed flutter-light kisses over her fingers. They eyed each other and slowly their heads drew closer together. She cupped his face in her palms and fasten her lips to his.

Their kisses were slow, simple and comforting in ways that words would never be. The air around them changed; the anxious tension bleed away and heartbreaking distress turned into something more light and sensual. Maybe they should not be doing this so soon; emotions still ran high. But both of them needed this closeness, this reassurance of being together, to fill the void in their hearths.

With a soft nudge, Bai Qian push him away and help him getting out of his cloth. She fumbled with the knots of his sash, too clumsy to get it undone. It was quiet moments until he burst out a chuckle. Her head snapped up, surprised but glad to hear such a sound coming out of his mouth. Laughter was good; it was a balm on a hurt soul.

She pulled at his inner cloth until the last article of clothes fell away from his body. Her mouth nibbled along his jaws and his throat. Whispers of endearing and cheerful words that things would turn out for the better slipped past her tongue. Two pairs of lips brushed against one another languidly, unhurriedly, savoring the sweet taste of love and acceptance. Her hands roamed freely and lightly across the broad expanse of his chest and his back.

Her fingertips traced the soft hair leading toward the apex of his leg; a wet trail of kisses was planted along the path. She kissed and nipped the rippled hard muscles and smooth, warm skin with her lips, her teeth, and her tongue. When her small hand move lower and wrapped firmly around his maleness; he answered with a hitched voice. Bai Qian smiled and pressed a feather-like kiss against his stomach. Already leakage dropped from his slit, telling her he was affected by her bold touches. She smeared those drops of wetness all over the crown and lowered her head to get a taste. Before she could go any further; long fingers slipped into her hair and tugged at it. She looked up and found him watching her with a tight focus; the question was on his lips.

Bai Qian held his gaze steady, silently asking him to let her take care of him. She wanted him to know how much he was loved. His eyes softened and his hand smoothed out her hair. She shifted her attention back to the scalding-hot, rigid flesh in her hand. Her curious fingertips slide it up and down and around with care. Her tongue lapped the underside and slid over the large, velvet head experimentally. Above her, Mo Yuan's eyelids fluttered shut. Long, hissing noise escaped his lips. Every nerve in his body focused on her gentle caresses. When she engulfed him whole with her mouth and drew him deep in; his entire body grew taut in response, almost leaving the bedding.

It was pain and pleasure to let her have a free rein on his body. And Bai Qian exploited the liberties he allowed to the fullest. Stroking, caressing, massaging with her lips, her tongue and her mouth. She tried everything she ever eavesdropped from her seniors's lewd talks. Her effort seemed to pay off beautifully, judging from the harsh, labored sound of his breathing. She relished in her ability to give him such pleasure and continued to work on him fervently.

When his face tightened in a grimace; she wondered if she did something wrong. She had no time to ponder further though; his hand cupped the back of her head and urged her to get up. Bai Qian scraped her teeth against the flare head of his arousal in retaliation. He groaned aloud and his length start to pulsate in her hand. She filed that spontaneous reaction away for later. The tightening sensation at her hair came back, this time she allowed him to pull her upward.

She climbed over his body and straddled on top of him. His ridge abdomen muscles flexed as he sat up in a sitting position. He wrapped his arms around her waist and lean up to kiss her deeply, tasting his own flavor on her lips. His free hand kneaded her breasts and toyed with her nipples; soon it was joined with his lips. She leaned back on his supporting arms and push more of the sensitive flesh into his waiting mouth.

Bai Qian could only moaned and whimpered as he feasted upon her. As much as she loved him playing with her body; she ached to become one with him. Already her lower treasure was weeping for him. Unconsciously, she began to rub her lower half against his thighs, to ease off the tension that was building up there. She let out a sigh when his lips pulled away. When two strong hands lift her her bottom up; she quickly wound her arm around his neck and hold tightly.

She cried out at the sensation of being penetrated when he slowly slid her body over his and filled her sheath. Her inner muscles clenched and tightened over his intrusion. The slickness helped, and accepted more of him into her body. It was such an exquisite torture going slow. Mo Yuan watched her face intently for any pain or discomfort. He saw the initial discomfort gave way to pleasure. Her mouth parted in a silent gasp when she completely took all of him inside her depth. They have never done it like this before but today he wanted to hold her close and loved her at the same time.

He nipped her earlobe, urged her to move with his hands on her rounded bottom and earned himself another gasping shudder. His mouth wandered down the column of her throat; sucking and nibbling the sensitive fresh. She was always a quick learner; with few guides she began to move on her own and tortured both of them with her languid moves.

She let out a shaky breath when her body lifted all the way up, then slowly began the descent. The sweet friction was both exquisite and maddening. Never before she was filled so deep, so full to the brim. She sought his mouth and fasten her lips to him, mimicking what they were doing with their lower halves. It was not long before they began to rock into each other earnestly and chased after that elusive pinnacle together. Bai Qian made that mewling sob at the back of her throat; her nails sharp at the back of his neck and shoulder. It would not be long now.

Mo Yuan thrust up into her again and again with raw, devastating needs. When her inner muscles began to contract; a long, feverish moan was wrenched from her. He watched as her eyes glazed over with passion as onslaughts of pleasure shook and ripped through her entire being. Harsh, helpless groans rumbling up from deep within his chest as he shook and pulsed with the nearing ecstasy. He felt himself growing even harder and bigger inside her and then, with a loud grunt, he pulled out and exploded all over her stomach.

When he finally force his breathing to even out; she was already slumped down over him. Her body still shook and convulsed from the aftermath of her completion. He run his hand down her side and stroked her back soothingly. His lips showered her neckline with light kisses then sipped at her mouth. He kissed her with care, with longing, with his love for her infusing every touch and hoping she would feel it too.

Bai Qian tangled her fingers into his hair, answering his kiss with equal love and passion. Her other hand gently caressing through his hair. Occasionally, she pressed her kiss to the side of his head and nuzzled his face softly. She enjoyed the intimacy they shared far too much to let go; despite the uncomfortable stickiness between their pressed up bodies. It also reminded her to look up for some of those peaches. Hopefully, Zhe Yan had some stashes left for her.

Much later, Mo Yuan got up and left. When he returned to their bed; he brought along a basin of hot water. She took the washcloth from him and slowly cleansed the remains of their passion from his body then hers. She pulled him to lay down next to her and looped her arms around his front. Her small, light kisses rained down on the side of his head until she felt his body gone lax and his breathing even out.

Before today Bai Qian shared the same insight, as many other did, that Mo Yuan was an insurmountable mountain, always stood tall and proud no matter how years and seasons changed; the same way Kunlun Mountain stood. But today seeing him also susceptible to the same vulnerability they all had wiped off that image and reminded her that he was still a being of fresh and blood. Even a pillar of strength itself needed shoulders to rest on and hands to support as well.

Their road to recovery will be a long one. She was not so naive to think that things will smooth out right away between them; the edge was still there in both of them. The cause of their misery remained unfathomable. Evenso now that she learned of the truth; she was confident they could overcome this hurdles together. His speculation about the condemnation placed on their future children, while preposterous and surreal to her, needed to be dealt with properly. It maybe have some truths in it or not at all.

She was more inclined to believe this was a single, one-time happenings. An oversight on their part that allowed tragedy to come forth, rather than a divine retribution. But even if there was, they would find a way to be happy and content together. Bai Qian closed her eyes and held him tighter. They would have each other, their friends and their family at their side; so anything was possible.

:: Fin ::

Note : I will edit out the heavy stuffs later, so it won't kick start the violation issue. Can't forget sending a big thanks to loreinacadis0412 for putting up with me and gave some insights feedback while I hatch out my ideas for the ending at her during the past week.

.

Too bad FFnet don't allow any illustrations, I've found some nice drawings of BQ/MY and share it on AO3. This one is from Pinterest. Thanks who ever made it, I love it to death.

www dropbox com / s / ken4h4wnkbk1e6f / ?raw=1

.

#Guest : The wedding and more fluffs in those one-shots? We will see. I promise there will be fluff. lol The tone of this story right now is too heavy for silly, non-sense stuffs. Yeah, I'm very glad you see the point I wish to made. Their relationship grows; look at how far they comes from the start as a couple. This will be the foundation for their life after.

#Emmi Bexley : I labeled it MY/BQ/YH because they are all involved in this entanglement from the beginning to the end. And I never made it a secret this is MY/BQ fanfic.