17/03/2018 Author's Note: This is a fanfic that I wrote way back in August last year after yet another re-watch of An Unexpected Journey (This fic is actually to blame for my decision to finally write my version of the events of the hobbit book/movies because in this fic it mentions events that I had thought about (frequently) but hadn't actually written down up to that point in time) and I decided that I wanted to address, at least within The Most Precious of Treasures universe, something that has bothered me right from the first time I watched AUJ, right back in December 2012 (and I was terrified that world was going to end before I got to watch this movie. Yeah... I really had my priorities straight back then *snort*), which is basically; Did the dwarves know that Bilbo didn't know about the quest?
This is something that has bugged me for years! I didn't really wonder about it too much in the book because it never sort of raised its head to me as being an issue, but in the movie! WOW, in the movie, it was like a big red light had gone off inside my head because you have the dwarves more or less teasing Bilbo in the 'An Unexpected Party' scene to them not really tolerating him at all in in multiple scene up until really the finale after Bilbo comes back from being lost in the goblin caves or even later, when Bilbo saves Thorin and Thorin finally accepts Bilbo as one of the company. And the conclusion I came to was; they thought he had already agreed to be the burglar on their quest and their meeting up at Bag End was simply a formality.
Now, I might be wrong about this, but that's how I've come to look upon the first movie and the treatment of Bilbo, particularly from Thorin, is this, the dwarves thought that Bilbo had already agreed to be their burglar and then upon meeting all them, he backed out almost immediately upon hearing about the dragon. Which would have probably been a blow to all the dwarves, but particularly to Thorin who by this point has already been told his quest was hopeless by his own kin and he has only managed to raise thirteen - THIRTEEN! - dwarves to his cause (and a wizard, but lets be real, Thorin probably wouldn't include Gandalf in his count because he knows the Wizard has other motives other than just helping Thorin reclaim his home and well, he ain't wrong).
And yeah, I've just always thought that this was an interesting, though unaddressed plot-point (it might not even be a plot-point at all, but just all in my head) in the movie/s and I hadn't been able to work this into The Most Precious of Treasures main plot, though it is a running under-lying theme in Home is Behind, The World Ahead, so I decided to just write it as one-shot.
Which by the way, as this one-shot takes place in my The Most Precious of Treasures universe, in regards to timeline and Spoilers for that fic, this occurs right after the end of Arc 3 but before the beginning of the currently still unwritten Arc 4 of The Most Precious of Treasures.
Sorry for the very, very long author's note. I just felt I needed to explain where this rather random one-shot sprung from before I released you to read this fic in peace.
I do hope you enjoy it. It was rather fun to write as it was this fic that convinced me to step back into world of LOTR and start writing Hobbit fanfic again.
Oh, one last thing, promise; for any reader who has not read anything I have written for the Hobbit fandom, Bilbo is a female in The Most Precious of Treasures universe (If you don't like Fem!Bilbo, that's perfectly fine, you are free to leave and not read this fic), Frodo is her and Thorin's child and everybody survives the Battle of the Five Armies.
Disclaimer: I don't own The Hobbit. All characters, places and events mention in this fic belong Mister Tolkien, Peter Jackson, New Line Cinema, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer and WingNut Films.
For What the Burglar Didn't Know
"So let me see if I 'ave this right," Thorin could hear Dain rumbling as he entered the Hobbits' main living quarters, alongside Balin and Dwalin.
He noticed immediately as he entered the room the pinched expressions of several members of his company faces and the confused look gracing their burglar's face as she stared at Dain's annoyed scowl, "You had no idea bout tha quest til ya heard about it from Thorin?"
Billanna blinked, her head tilted to one side, her brow forwarded further in confusion.
"Yes, that's about right."
"Tha Wizard told ya nothing?"
"No," She shook her golden brown head, "he just turned up that morning, said he was looking for someone to share an adventure with. And of course, I had to then I explain that I could not be that someone for I was meant to be married the following day."
There was a disgruntle huff from the other side of the room and Billanna's cheeks flushed slightly, but otherwise all in the room ignored the sharp glare of Lotho from where he was sitting in the corner.
"He wasn't pleased to hear that, I must admit." Billanna continued slowly, "but that didn't stop him from saying that an adventure would be very good for me," she paused for a moment, rolling her eyes, "and most amusing for him. And then he said he would inform the others." She waved her hand at her old company a fond smile decorating her lips, "never said who the others were though. Maybe if I hadn't been so resistant to the idea of adventuring, he might have told me more, but," she shrugged her shoulders, still smiling, "at the time, I was a little preoccupied by my upcoming nuptials, that any adventure that involved actually leaving the Shire was quite beyond my thought process that day."
"So ya had no idea…" Dain looked from her to over to where Thorin stood, his face feeling very slack as he stared at his burglar who was looking between them with an expression of even greater confusion as she took in the torn looks being sent her way by her dwarves.
"What?" She asked, looking quite uncomfortable, shifting restlessly in her chair, "What is it?"
"Just thought you were being insolent?" Dwalin grunted after a long pause of heavy silence.
Billanna's head snapped in their direction, her face twisted into a look of great indignation.
"Insolent? Who was being insolent?" She grumbled, before letting out a small squeak of protest, "Me?! When? When was I insolent towards you lot? Except when you truly deserved it!" was muttered more under her breath than to her audience of gaping dwarves and fascinated family members.
"You're the ones who marched into my home acting as if you own the place, wiping dirty feet all over the furniture and carpet, pillaging my pantry!" She shot all present dwarves, baring Dain (who was grinning despite his previous serious expression because he could see the hilarity in the situation as well as the seriousness of it.) and Helm, who was looking back and forth between the hobbit whose expression had morphed into a look of intense annoyance though it held little actual venom to her sheepish, embarrassed dwarves with wild curiosity.
"Bloody wizard!" Dwalin grouched, not quite meeting Billanna's eyes.
Billanna continued to look at them all with the same annoyed but completely befuddled expression that she had been wearing the moment Thorin walked into the chamber.
"What?" She was looking directly at him now, head once more cocked to one side, eyebrows raised and enquiring, "What am I missing that's causing you all so much grief?" She waved a hand once more at their company, most of whom had their heads buried in their hands or looked about ready to bang them against a wall.
Thorin rather thought he'd like to join them.
Oh, well now he felt like he was even more of arse for how he had treated her during those early days of the quest. She hadn't known, she hadn't…
"We assumed you knew about the quest and had already agreed to come along as our burglar." He spoke carefully, vaguely noticing the pained filled nods that accompanied his words.
Billanna's bewildered blinking didn't not help matters in the slightest, only causing for the guilt inside his gut to grow all the heavier and more painful.
"Knew? And agreed to…" Her little frantic squeaks made the guilt in his gut twist painfully.
"Oh," She stuttered as she waved her hands frantically in front of her, her expression a picture of pure panic, "oh then-then you must have all thought that I, when we all met that night, that I... and I didn't… oh no…" She trailed off weakly her face burning as she stared at them in horror.
"It's alright lassie." Bofur said quickly, reaching over to pat her arm, "Ya didn't…"
"I didn't!" She squeaked, staring now at Thorin, her eyes begging as words came rambling forth from her pale lips, "Honestly, truly I did not know! I-I… I was so confused as to why I suddenly had dwarves invading my house that I… and then Gandalf showed up but I did not think to ask, not any of you or him, I just," she looked so wretched and apologetic, hunching in on herself to make herself appear even smaller, "I just assumed a very poor joke was being played on me."
Her head dropped to stare down at her lap, but Thorin could still see she was biting her lip and oh Mahal, let her not be crying. Let him not be the cause of her tears once more.
"I'm-I'm a little confused." Paladin said speaking up and looking quite stumped by the display of emotions from those around him, "what is exactly the problem? It's not Bilbo's fault that she didn't know the reason for you all arriving at her door that night, it…"
"But they thought I did." Bilbo wailed back at him, "They thought I did know! They thought I had already agreed to be the company burglar and the meeting was just a formality! And there I went and apparently changed my mind upon meeting all of you in person!"
"Lass…" but Billanna was beyond hearing at this point, too caught up her panicked rambling.
"I did think it was strange how you all seemed to know my name… well most of you," She shot Kili a dark look which caused the boy to blush, "and seemed perfectly comfortable with invading my home and taking my food and, oh! Meeting you," She looked back at Thorin with a stricken expression, "oh, that whole introduction makes so much more sense now." She moaned as she dropped her face into her hands, "I just thought you were being an arse." She admitted as she peaked at him over her fingers.
"An understandable assessment, given the circumstances from your point of view." Thoirn agreed, feeling every bit the arse she must have seen him as that first night.
"Oh! I'm going to kill that wizard!" Billanna scowled furiously causing her dwarves, even Thorin, to chuckle weakly.
"Oh," she winced looking back at them all, "I must have appeared so erratic and fickle of nature when I up and changed my mind again the next day when I chased after you all. Utterly unreliable and certainly displaying a poor character. No wonder you were all," she waved a vague hand, "how you were with me in those early days, what with me being so…" she sagged in the chair looking dejected.
"I am sorry." She pleaded after a moment, looking at each dwarf before staring at Thorin, "Truly, I swear, if I had known I…" She tucked a stray curl behind her ear, "I would have done things differently, not appeared so fickle and rude…"
"It's alright lassie," Balin offered her comforting smile, "It all worked out in the end."
"Yes, but…" Billanna's expression was pained.
"Oi, stop worrying ya pretty head. That's all in the past, can't very well change it now." Bofur said giving her an affectionate nudge with his elbow.
"Oh, I know, I just…" She was biting her lip; her dark eyes darting around the room to each dwarf, their brown depths filled with a desperate desire to fix the harm she perceived she had caused them years ago.
"What brought this conversation about?" Thorin asked, still watching his distress burglar though his question was directed at Dain, who shrugged.
"Just asked tha Lassie her side of the story of becoming burglar for your company. Didn't realise I'd be releasing a cat amongst the pigeons."
Billanna let out an unhappy little giggle.
"Well, now I just feel stupid," she sighed regretfully.
"Eh, don't Lass," Nori said, "We saw you were a little distressed by what was happening. Shoulda known tha Wizard might have been holding his tongue."
Billanna grumbled several more curses in the direction of the wizard before looking back at Thorin and Balin, her brown eyes wide and questioning.
"How long was it known that I was meant to be your burglar?" She queried in a small voice.
Balin gave her a reassuring smile.
"Only a month or so, lass…"
"A MONTH OR SO?!"
"Well, for them all to know to gather at Bag End on that particular night would take some time to organise, especially if a lot of them were all over Middle-Earth," Saradoc offered up sensibly.
"But… but…" Billanna muttered before covering her face with her hands again, grumbling, "Oh fine!"
"Would it have changed your decision?" Ori asked softly, his dark brown eye imploring, "If you had had more time to think on it?" there was a hint of worry to the young dwarf's tone.
"Uh," Billanna lifted her face from her hands, her eyes thoughtful, "Probably not… in the end, I would have still come along. I would have been a nervous wreck for the time leading up to it though."
"See then," Nori laughed, "no problem at all."
Billanna groaned but she was smiling once again and looking far more relaxed and after a bit of coaxing, she went on spinning her tale of her unexpected party.
Thorin found himself wanting to smack his head against the nearest wall over his dwarves lack of common curtsey in relation to all of their burglars belonging, but given that said burglar was listing the grievances they had committed against her and her home that first night with a smile and giggling note to her tone, he assumed that they were more or less forgiven.
The rest of the evening was spent amiably with Billanna telling her version of the events of their quest, with members of the company interjecting good naturedly every now and again, with a word here regarding a missing detail or a complaint there when she teasingly mention an embarrassing moment that had occurred to a member of the company.
The evening finally came to a close when both Billanna's voice began to turn horse and a grouchy Frodo made an appearance in the room, rubbing his eyes and grumbling about not being able to sleep because it was too loud. He then stuck out his bottom lip as he stare mournfully at them, saying that he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep now without a story.
Taking some pity upon his lad, Thorin offered to tuck him back to bed, to save his mother's already talked dry throat.
"How come I couldn't stay up and listen to Mama's story?" Frodo grumbled as Thorin settled the boy back into his bed.
He had his own room in this new apartment that they had created for the hobbits and already the room was looking like a child's room. Coloured pictures stuck to the walls, a half-built block castle was standing by a toy box on the opposite side of the room to the small bed that young dwobbit was squirming away in, trying to get comfortable.
"Because it is far past your bed, that's why." Thorin replied easily, checking the candle in the small lamp seated on the boy's bedside table. There was still plenty of wax left to last the lad til morning.
"But… that's not fair! Mama's stories are the best! I wanna hear them!" Frodo pouted up at him and Thorin felt himself grinning in return.
"We'll make sure that next time your mother is spinning her tales, it will be well before your bed time. Does that meet with your approval?"
Frodo thought for a long moment, still pouting before finally giving a little regal nod of his head that had Thorin fighting back a strong desire to laugh.
"Story?"
He couldn't help the small bark of laughter that escaped him at Frodo's pleading tone.
"Yes, yes, one story. Though I fear my stories are not nearly as good as your mothers."
"I know." Frodo replied without hesitation causing Thorin to snort, "But I still like them."
"Oh, why thank you." Thorin chuckled before starting a tale of involving evil dragons, devious elves and brave dwarven knights. The dwarf knight had barely made it to the lands of the devious elves before his son was fast asleep once more.
"Thank you."
Thorin looked up from his peacefully slumbering son, over to where his mother was standing, arm loosely crossed in front of her, her eyes soft as she smiled at the two of them.
"It was no trouble… it never is." He replied and he was graced with her beautiful sunlit smiles that he had feared he had lost all right to have bestowed in his direction.
They took care to close Frodo's door without making a sound and walked silently back to the common room that was now deserted of all hobbits and dwarves, except for the two of them.
"I want…" he paused and shift awkwardly from one foot to the other, his face turned away from her warm eyes. "I want to apologize."
"Oh," Bilbo asked lightly, "and what offence have you inflicted against my honour that warrants an apology, for I certainly can think of nothing at this moment."
He looked back at her, for surely she knew of what he was speaking of, and yet her brown eyes were as warm and friendly as ever, no sign of worry or fear within them.
"For my… animosity towards you in our early days of our quest. It was unwarranted and you did not deserve it."
"Thorin…"
"It did not occur to me that you would not know that you were meant to be our burglar, I only assumed that you had agreed to be, only for you to see my company, see me, and suddenly decide that you no longer had any wish to continue on with our cause. That you saw only the same hopelessness in our quest that my kin saw and…" he looked away from her brown eyes, unable to bear the sadness and hurt that was filling them, filling in them for him.
She touched his arm and he could not bring himself to pull away.
"Oh Thorin," she said in such a sad voice, "I'm so sorry. I never meant for… I never meant to hurt any of you. I was so caught off guard by all of you simply being there. I didn't know what was going on and everyone seemed to assume that I did… and well, I know now why, because well you did, you did believe that I knew what was happening and that I was simply being… insolent. I certainly must have appeared as if I was, when I was hearing the full details of the quest and what I was expected to do and…" she trailed off weakly.
"You did not know and no one bother to ask you if you did." Thorin shook his head.
"Misunderstanding are… terrible things at times." Billanna said quietly.
"Indeed."
"But it did work out, truly, in the end." She smiled shyly up at him, "I earned your trust in the end, did I not? I earned my place in the company." She bit her lip, her eyes drifting and Thorin knew immediately where her mind was heading towards.
"And you never lost it." He replied fiercely, a gentle hand cupping her chin, pulling her back from her dark thoughts and to his side once more, "Never! My mind was sick when you were banished, but no falser words have been spoken then when I threw you from our side. You have and always will be a member of this company, til the end of your days, you are one of us. Do not let the demons that I created inside your head that day tell you otherwise, for they are wrong… I was wrong, as I have been so many times with you before. I should not have let my own pain and insecurity blind me to how incredible you were, even in those early days."
"I really wasn't…" She stuttered but Thorin silenced her with a shake of his head.
"You were clever from the beginning; you saved us from the trolls and made sure we did not eat anything that harmed us. You were untrained in the ways of weapons, but that was to be expected of your gentle land and you had never been far from it in all your life. We should have been kinder to you, but we were not. We did not see your brilliance, only a misunderstanding that left us seeing a hobbit that broke oaths as easily as she breathed and changed her mind on the whims of the wind. And we did little to look past this first impression of you, to find out the truth behind why you acted as you did that first night."
"To be fair," Billanna replied softly, "I didn't try very hard to look past my first impressions of most of you either." She shot him an embarrassed look that only caused him to smile.
He ran a fond finger down the side of her face.
"So much time was wasted because of false first impressions," He sighed as he lowered his hand reluctantly from her face.
"We're stubborn people, what did you expect?" Billanna chuckled, before blushing, "though I must admit, aside from the occasional moment of thinking you were an arse, my first impression of you um, actually remained the same."
"Oh?"
She blushed hotly and gave him a playful shove. The shove did not make him shift even in the slightest while she swayed awkwardly on her feet from the force of resistance she met.
"Oh, as if you didn't know." She grumbled hotly, refusing to meet his eye, "Actually, I rather thought that that might have been the reason for your continued… dislike of me?" She chewed on the end of her sentence, eyeing him cautiously while he shook his head.
"Hardly." He replied, "For it was how I felt from… ah," he turned his head away from her, his face feeling quite warm all of a sudden.
"From?" Billanna pestered her eyes bright and smiling.
"You are not going to let this go now are you?" He sighed heavily through his nose when she simply smiled sweetly back at him in response.
"From the moment you spun your first tale."
He ducked his head, feeling vulnerable now that she possessed this knowledge that he had kept to himself for so many years, never before admitting to anyone how long he had cared for this beautiful woman.
"Spun my first… the Trolls?" Billanna squeaked, her hands moving to touch his face, gently trying to get him to look at her. He obeyed her touch without thinking, meeting her wide eyes that were filled to the brim with questions.
"Our encounter with the Trolls? But I got caught? I was the reason we all got caught! How?"
Thorin shrugged, smiling at her bright red face.
"You were brave and clever; you had as the Wizard so adequately put it, the nous to play for time. None of the rest of us thought to do that."
"So that early…" Billanna swallowed.
"You crept up on me truthfully." Thorin admitted smiling at her, "from the first moment I saw you, there was something, it just…"
"Got utterly destroyed by a huge misunderstanding of what the Burglar should already know but in reality didn't?"
"I wouldn't say destroyed," Thorin chuckled softly, "buried would be closer to the truth."
"And my standing up to Trolls and telling them not to cook all of you because you had parasites dug them up again?" Billanna asked sceptically while Thorin laughed quietly.
"As I said, you were brave and clever and I saw that maybe my first impression of you might have been wrong."
"You didn't… you didn't treat me any differently though."
"No, because I still feared your rejection."
"My rejection? Of you?"
"Yes, of me. I was still under the belief that you truly thought our quest was hopeless, that you had changed your mind on whether or not to continue on as our burglar was the moment that you met us… met me. I believed that it was Gandalf's bullying that had you running after us that day, not any desire or hope to see our quest fulfilled. I thought…" he shook his head, smiling forlornly. "I thought wrong and wasted so much time and as a result, hurt both of us."
"What made you change your mind about me?"
"You returning, after being lost in the goblins cave. And saying what you did when I asked you why you came back, I-I allowed myself to hope."
"Because that was the first time I ever declared that I had any faith in the quest, in helping you and your people reclaim your home land." Billanna nodded her head in understanding, running her fingers through her golden curls.
She let out a short laugh after a companionable moment of silence.
"So for those first months, we both believed that the other was doubting us, when in fact we were actually doubting ourselves. And all because a misunderstanding that started the moment we met. Oh, I'm going to smack that wizard with my grandmother's umbrella for this!"
"He does seem to be the cause of this mess." Thorin agreed
"Quite." She chuckled. "Oh well, I do believe I will have to forgive him though. For all his meddling, he is the reason I am here and for that I cannot fault him."
"Nor can I." Thorin said as he looked upon her fondly. They stared at each other for a long quiet moment before Thorin pulled away and turned for the door.
"It is late and you need to rest your voice as I suspect our lad will be demanding stories of you the moment he wakes."
"More than likely." Billanna agreed softly.
"Sleep well Billanna."
"And you." She smiled widely, making his heart leap warmly in his chest. He ran his finger one final time down her warm cheek before taking his leave, feeling lighter than he had in years.
Author's Note: As I said in my very, very long beginning author's note, this fic was written purely for fun and from a desire to address something that has bothered me for years, but it also refueled the fire to start writing for The Most Precious of Treasures universe again after it was pretty much snuffed out at the very beginning of 2015 by several things, though mainly one particular thing that occurred and that still burns whenever I think about it but I'm not letting it stop me from writing now, like it did then. I haven't forgiven, nor have I forgotten but I have more or less moved on from it and let go of most of my anger and hurt.
Anyway, this fic refueled my love for this universe, for the characters and the story I had created, for writing in general (I had pretty much stopped all writing after 2015 because of what happened... which seems so stupid now, but hey(!) hindsight is a wonderful thing), so I owe this little one-shot quite a lot.
Hope you enjoyed it and as always reviews are much appreciated.