Sorry for the VERY long delay for this new chapter! It can't be too long, but I will begin to update this story regularily in 2018!
Chapter 4
Rin was still in the hospital, even after a week. Nitori was back to attend classes, but still refused to visit the swim club. Sousuke didn't try to force him either. Nitori's hand shook from time to time, but the knuckles were healing alright.
The anger from that night was still in his system. Whenever he recalled the hospitalized Rin (which he recalled very often) he thought of the night he tried to fight the vending machine. It was no use, it had no purpose, but he couldn't do anything to stop it. His anger and despair were driving him that night.
Nitori looked down on his pencil, realizing he'd been biting the end of it throughout the class. He glanced up from the wood in his hand, and twitched as none of the classmates were inside the room. Nobody was there, but nothing showed any sign of rush in getting out. For a second, he just stared at the board, not really grasping the environment.
He quickly picked up his phone from his bag when he realized, and blinked as the digits lighted up.
16:32
«School ended just like that..?» he whispered.
Nitori let go of his phone, letting it gracefully fall onto his lap while he crouched over the desk and put his head onto it. He faced the window, and let out a small puff. The day was pretty and uplifting; the sun shone, the wind gracefully played with the girls' hair and skirt, and the leaves crackled as they left the reviving tree. It was spring.
«Why won't Rin tell me who he fought with?» Nitori sulked.
His hand stinged, and he let out a soft whimper.
Why didn't Rin call him?
Why did nobody update him from the hospital?
Could he ask Sousuke for information? He was still a tad frightened by the team member, but he WAS a good listener, and his way to bandage Nitori's knuckles really was a piece of art..
What should he do?
What COULD he do?
He could call Rei.
«Ah, Rei-chan!» Nitori raised his hand, waving his friend over to his own stall. The boy with the glasses waved back, giving a small smile as he walked closer. They quickly ordered drinks, and bent a little over the table to talk. Nitori had only given a short text about where to meet, and theme; Rin.
There was a lot he wanted to say about that theme.
Like how he wanted to quit the swimteam, how his own very existence were an insult to Rin and his dreams, how he felt about Rin being hospitalized, and how he felt useless and clueless in this whole situation. How he «betrayed» Rin by cutting and wanting to end everything, cutting ties and all.
But he didn't want to talk about all this, yet.
He wanted to talk about Rins hospitalizing.
«So, what's up? We haven't heard from you in a while! I hope things has been solved on your side?» Rei smiled as he cocked his head to the side, just like Nagisa. His smile vanished within a second when he glanced at Nitori's bandaged hand. His eyes spoke thousands of words, all at the same time. Nitori quickly pulled his sleeve over the hand and refused eye contact. A small cough left his mouth as he tried to reposition himself. Their eyes finally met.
«You haven't been able to talk, have you..» Rei sounded slightly disappointed, lowering his voice. He most certainly felt like this was his problem too, since Nitori had let him in on his problems since the beginning.
Nitori nodded.
«But it does not matter, not right now. I want to know if any of you have the slightest idea who Rin fought with? I can't sort this out myself, and nobody gives me any information on Rin's wellbeing nor cause.. All I want is to know who hurt Rin-senpai. I know I can't put on a fight with another person; we both know I am too weak. But there must be something for me to do?»
Nitori moved his fingers on the table, itching to do whatever. It looked like he played the piano, as the fingers gracefully followed a songs notes.
Rei folded his hands, and tried to remember. Or think. Nitori didn't know for sure if this was just him trying to be dramatic or actually helpful. Either way, it would be easier than just snoop around alone.
Rei tapped his index finger in a slow motion, squinting his eyes, and flipping his lower lip out. Without a doubt, he was thinking. Then he raised his head and stared into Nitori's own blue eyes.
«I am sorry to say, but I really don't know. At least, it was nobody from my swim team.»
His eyes grew soft after the quick change of atmosphere. The eyebrows frowned in a worrying look.
«I can ask around the school, but I doubt there's anyone from Iwatobi. Rin didn't really have many friends other than us..»
«It's okay. Thank you for telling me, it helps more than you think.» Nitori lowered his sight down on the table where his drink were standing tall, still untouched.
The drink on the other side where half finished, as Rei had taken a big sip when it first arrived. He grabbed the glass again, and lifted it. Nitori lost his appetite.
«Is there anything else bothering you?» Rei tried, looking for eye-contact with Nitori again. The silver haired boy refused to look him in the eyes. He hid his hand under the table.
Why did he do this? Was he angry that it wasn't Iwatobi, or that he didn't get the answer he wanted? Really, the thought of not figuring out who hurt Rin was bothering him a lot. On top of that, he was unable to share his inner thoughts with a friend he really trusted.
Why was it so hard to tell Rei that he was, in fact, not okay?
Was it because it would be too much of a hassle to "fix him"?
Why was it so hard to tell people?
«If there's anything bothering you, please call me. See ya!» Rei began to walk away from the cafe they met, smiling bright before turning.
His silhouette grew smaller and darker, as the sun set above him. Bright colours of orange, yellow, pink and red were floating above, feeling the warmth of the sun slowly disappear. Dark blue skies were relaxing under all the light, followed by purple, orange and at last blue while it moved further away from the sun.
Watching Rei walk under this vivid, natural masterpiece was like looking at a sunrise by the sea.
Nitori wanted to be a part of this piece too. He wanted to run up to him, smile, and jog together back to whatever place they wanted to be. This immense feeling of being alone hit him when Rei's silhouette disappeared.
He was alone, once again.
As he stood there, clenching his fists so much his knuckles hurt, he wanted to scream. Somehow, screaming would solve anything, his mind told him.
He didn't care.
He didn't care for his own life.
But he cared for Rin, and Sousuke, and Rei, and all the others.
He cared for Rin's carriere, his wellbeing, all of it.
And he cared for Sousuke's wellbeing.
Why was he so incapable to help his treasured friends?
"I'll go somewhere and scream.." he whispered, slowly turning around to walk the other way. He began to jog, slowly.
The view from the cliff was mesmerizing.
The waves rolled on to the beach far below him, some crashing into the big rocks beside it. The wind was strong, pushing and pulling him as he stood on top of the giant rock.
It'd been ages since he'd been here, even though this place was close to the Academy.
The first time was actually with Rin.
Rin was always running up here in the morning, all by himself. Nitori wanted to join him, of course, but it took him a lot to even get up from bed that early in the morning.
But once he made it, Rin would smirk at him before they headed out, him keeping the same tempo as usual.
Once they reached their first rest-place, Nitori was already heaving for air, almost falling to the ground from lack of sleep.
He deeply regretted his decision to join Rin. Although he was able to speak with him alone, did not mean they would have good conversations. Nitori's heart fluttered so much when they jogged that he never really made progress in the running-part.
His heart would always focus on the fluttering, and refuse to pump evenly for the rest of his body. The first times they jogged, Nitori would pass out in the middle of the road because of that.
The sight he was seeing today was magnificent in every way. He might not have a clean cut to the sunset, as it was going down on the other side, but the colours where amazing. It looked like a saturated sunset, with only dark and light blue in every combination. It made the sea almost glowing.
Nitori tilted his head back, and noticed the moon heading up. It was clear, shining bright from the suns last light of the day. It was still too soon for the stars to be out, but once they poked their holes through the skies, the view would become even better, he was sure.
He didn't notice it at first, but he was smiling. His lips curled to a grin, by the reminiscing of Rin and his training regiment, and the scenery that was constantly forming in front of him.
That was the time when he really loved swimming.