He really did love swimming at that time.

Even the fact that his roommate at first was a grumpy guy who hated everyones guts. Of course, he had the biggest crush on that guy, and he admired him with all his might. It was almost scary to look back at, how much he liked Rin.

"I'd do absolutely anything to be with Rin.." he whimpered.

His lips curled downwards, stretching to a thin line. His eyes began watering, and he felt small drops of saltwater fall down his cheeks.

But he was just so tired.

The thought of even going back to swimming, to feel the chlorine water itch his sensitive skin as he dove straight into the pool. The sight of every other competitor far ahead of him, the moment he lifts his head over water.

All the promising athletes. Each and all of them were faster than him; stronger.

Even Rei was faster than him, and that guy only had 2 years of practice! Nitori had been swimming for at least a decade!

Always admiring Rin, ever since elementary school.

He was tired of always trying his best. Trying hard, trying for a long time.

Did it bear any fruits?

Nitori could only laugh at that thought, almost shaking his head.

His knuckles began to ache again, but it didn't matter. Nothing matter.

HE didn't matter.

It would have been so EASY to take those three steps forward now. The last thing he would see from this world would be a starry sky, and he would think the world could actually be beautiful.

"Three steps is all it takes."

One.

Nitori felt his heart began to flutter, wondering how he could even think of doing this. But he refused to look at his feet; his head and heart had to focus on the skies.

The vivid sunsets colours began to fade, letting the darkness take over. It was only a matter of minutes until the magic would disappear, and the world would become dull again.

Two.

The distant sounds of the beach, far below him, relaxed him. He took a deep breath, feeling his lungs take in fresh air. His heart kept thumping, wanting to be released before he took the last step.

The tears kept falling.

He didn't want to feel like this ever again.

The wind gracefully stroke his cheeks, nuzzled his short hair, and tugged at his jacket.

It felt like a real person hugged him for a moment.

"Please," he whispered.

"Please don't let Rin be mad at me" / "Why can't life be easy"

…

"Nitori?"

Nitori's eyes sprung open, his feet froze solid, and he lost his breath.

No.

No, no no.

He was THIS close.

"Nitori!"

Why did he have to come here, right now?

He could hear the distant steps come closer, coming faster and louder. Why he of all people.

The wind nuzzled his hair one last time before it decreased to a small puff.

The sun disappeared behind the mountains close to town.

It got dark.

"Nitori! What were you doing?" The warm hand grabbed him and turned him around. He stood close, and Nitori could feel the heartbeat of his "rescuer" beat as if it punched its way through his chest.

Nitori couldn't see anything anymore. His eyes were filled with thick tears that covered half his sight, and all he saw was a blurry silhouette bending over him. The tears kept falling.

"Please, please don't tell Rin," he sobbed.

Nitori was so relieved it was Sousuke that found him and not Rin.

The feeling of Sousukes big arms wrapping around him was the best feeling in the whole world. The third-year nudged his face into Nitoris neck, and hugged him tighter.

The silence was a blessing.

…

Nitori woke up in his dorm-room. Except it wasn't his room.

The pillow was different; more fluffy and comfortable. The scent was different too, but oh so soothing.

He opened his eyes, but quickly closed them when the daylight surprised him. It stung, it hurt his eyes. It took some minutes to get used to it, but when he did, he finally figured who's dorm he'd crashed at.

His mind was blank as he tried to find the reason to why he lay in Sousukes room. As he started looking for his phone, he realized how naked he was under the covers. His eyes widened and a blush flooded his chins. Quickly searching the room for something to wear, he locked his eyes on a sweater laying on the office chair opposite of him. By snatching the sweater, he now declared it his and swore to never give it back.

It smelled so nice.

At least he had his underwear, Nitori thought. But he truly was puzzled; where were his clothes? And Sousuke? What had happened?

While he pondered over it, the door was slowly opened by the third-year.

"Nitori?" he asked.

That's when he remembered it. Holy shit he'd tried to kill himself and Sousuke SAW IT.

His eyes widened, he felt the world turned. His legs began shivering.

"Good, you're up. Brought you lunch."

He snapped out of it just enough to nod and not fall to the floor. Moving his weak feet was hard, but he was able to fall onto the bed without it looking too weird.

Sousuke didn't seem to look too much into it. Nitori couldn't look him in the eye.

How could he?

"Yamazaki-san.." he tried.

Sousuke only nodded, but he didn't seem too happy about being called that.

"Could you.. I mean, I don't.. Please don't tell.." his tears came back the moment he began talking.

Now he REALLY wished he'd died on that cliff.

Nitori locked his eyes on the bed, refusing to do anything. He could not wipe his own tears; he was paralyzed. Within seconds, he was wrapped in a new duvet and turned 'round to face the rest of the room. Surprised by this move, he blinked a few times before snuggling further into the softness.

It was surprisingly cozy.

Sousuke walked over to his desk and sat down in the chair. He was silent, and glanced over to Ai a few times while he brought up a book and began reading.

Without looking up, he asked "Are you hungry?"

The rumbling from Ais stomach answered for him. Sousukes lips curled to a small smile as he reached for the bowl he brought with him at first. He handed it to Nitori, who nodded a thank you in silence.

It was filled to the brim with rice and fried chicken.

His lips curled together, trembling,

Why was Sousuke so nice to him? Was this only because he saw him try to die? Had he contacted anyone from school? His parents?!

The panic grew on him, creeping up from his spine to his ears, licking his small ears before it swallowed all of him. What to do now?

Again, he didn't notice the big darkhaired teen coming closer. The warmth of the hands hugging him once again, drawing him closer to the big body, and the soft nuzzle and pat on his head.

It felt like a dream.

"You can stop crying now. Here, eat now," the soft voice said.

Ai opened his mouth and let the warm hands feed him.

This is it for now! Thank you for reading, sorry for the lack of updates! Hopefully I can do more by easter!