The slither of rage, the trembling, the sick, sick realization that Leo did not know for a tortured moment if he could stop.
Splinter's soft groan of breathed out pain, that said so much more than a scream ever could. And then, those eyes narrowed with rage as he scraped over Leo's guilt and savage hurt and dismissed it.
No comfort, no attempt to help Leo wrestle with this sudden crippling. No gentle brushing of paw that could calm the storm that was raging in his gut.
No, nothing more than the cruel order to surrender his swords and then the dismissal so sudden, it felt like a whip lash.
Leo trembled, as the thoughts became acidic, bitter. Curling against himself, he shut his eyes, and tried and failed to calm.
He bit his lip, attempted to conjure that wilted, injured look of his beloved master in a sad effort to stop the rage. It choked,
tightened, swelled.
The anger clawed at him like a rabid animal, as he slowly exhaled. It wasn't working. It wasn't working at all. Bitterly, he shot to his feet, even more angered that his one true method of coping had collapsed.
He cast a longing glance back to the dojo. He would gladly give a year of his life if it meant that he could talk to Splinter, find something that could soothe, calm, quiet. But, the sting of dismissal burned across his thoughts, and he sat, rigid and rooted as a planted tree,rather than seeking out his master. Never before had he felt so condemned.
Mikey's bright laughter cut through his seething like a shard. He heard the inocent chuckle before Mikey bounced in like an eager colt. Smile widening, his baby brother actually plopped down on the mat beside him, curled an elbow to prop up his chin.
"Hey, Leo. Meditating again? Don't you ever-"
"Get out." Leo's snarl severed the merry babble into stunned silence.
Mikey's eyes were huge and hurt as he whispered, "Leo? What's wrong, bro? Are you alright?"
Leo tensed like a snake ready to strike as he only opened his burning eyes and bit off the words, "Get out."
Mikey saw the tremble from barely restrained rage, Leo's eyes as volital as an errupting storm. Scrambling to his feet,
he raised placating palms as he retreated. "Okay, Leo. Whatever you say. I'm leaving, okay? I'm leaving right now."
Mikey backed away from him like he was a crouching tiger. Never, ever had he seen Leo so downright pissed.
"Look, Leo, I'm here for you, if you need to talk. But, I'll leave now, and let you deal with this funk or whatever it is, alright?"
Mikey only recieved Leo's seething glare in answer. Rigidly, Leo stared as he hastily retreated and did not drop his gaze until Mikey had fled.
Heedless of anything but his own hurt and tears, Mikey collided headlong into Raphael. Grunting and cussing, Raphael staggered, but righted himself irritably.
"What the hell, Mikey? Watch where you're goin', will ya?" Raphael groused, as he rubbed his sore elbow. Meekly, Mikey bowed his head and nodded, as he muttered the apology.
Raphael was about to let him go, when his eyes narrowed at the bright glare of tears, and the trembling. Gruffly, Raphael barked out,
"What's wrong, Mikey? Why ya in tears?"
Mikey only shrugged, and shook his head. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it, Raph. It's not a big deal."
His grip tightened in warning. "Like hell it's not. What's wrong?"
Wincing, Mikey tried and failed to shrugg off the grip. Glaring at the dojo, he made no attempt to hide the whine. "Leo kicked me out of the dojo! I didn't even do anything but say hello to him, and he nearly bit my head off!"
"Ya sure that's all ya did to Fearless?" Raphael raised a skeptical eyeridge as Mikey huffed, indignantly. "Yes, Raph! That's all I did! And even if it isn't, what right does Leo have to kick me out of the dojo, anyway? Can't he meditate in his room?"
Raphael hitched a shoulder at that. "Alright, Mikey. Take it easy. I'm goin' in there anyway, Fearless ain't stupid enough to mess with me."
Irritably, Raphael let Mikey go, with a promise to "have words with Fearless." Sighing, and having nothing but the inocent intention of burning off some of his neverending restlessness, Raphael entered the dojo.