Baby Steps
Shayera shakily walked around her room, trying to get the movements down to second nature again and not have to focus on it as hard. In her time in the Gordanian Prison, Shayera was always dragged around and whenever she even tried to walk resulted in harsher beatings. As she gripped the side of her bed, Shayera felt her wings unconsciously flare out. She groaned quietly and sat back down on her bed. She could feel her wings and has some control over them but when she was in situations that caused her stress or when she was frightened, her wings would flare out involuntarily.
Shayera rubbed her arms to calm herself and wanted to just sleep, but if she didn't make any effort in improving herself then she might be seen as hopeless or a liability. She can't keep expecting good things to come to her now that she was out of the Gordanian Prison. Shayera had broken the League's trust in her. She is the traitor. It makes sense that the next time another accusation is made against her, they will turn her back over to the prison. And this time, they might not change their minds in time. Shayera felt tears run down her face and quickly wiped them away, needing to get past her fears and her sorrow.
Shayera had to get stronger and she won't get stronger if she kept sitting around. Shayera stood up with re-energized purpose and practiced walking again, her movements less shaky and her stance more confident. Shayera kept at it for a few more hours and despite her exhaustion, her walking seemed almost normal. Shayera glanced at the window, the stars shining brightly in the distance and bringing her serenity. She glanced at the door and felt apprehension squirm its way into her body. The thought of leaving her room brought about a new fear to Shayera that she never once thought was possible: the fear of the outside.
Who still wants Hawkgirl dead? When she had been imprisoned on Earth before her trial, there had many numerous assassination attempts made on her life. Shayera quaked at the thought of even leaving her room, giving anybody the free range to kill her on the spot. Her room might be small, but it was large enough that she can move without hitting the walls with her wings and she had a fantastic view of space.
Shayera again glanced towards the outside door and cringed, deciding to practice her walking again for the day. J'onn won't show up until tomorrow morning for her therapy session so she better not waste her time sitting around. She began to walk again, this time at a faster pace so she could at least have jogging down. Her legs screamed at her for rest but Shayera wasn't having any of that. She walked around, hoping that maybe Wally will visit. Wally's visit had always been light and filled with laughter. She felt that nothing has changed between them despite what happened five years ago. With the others, Shayera was filled with dread and apprehension.
The others had been particularly cold to Shayera during the accusations, never once giving her the benefit of the doubt. Despite her joy in being with John again, she still worried and feared the day when he will turn his back to her again. Shayera knew that whatever Bruce decided or what Diana decided, they will always back each other up. Superman and Shayera had never been close friends, but just to have the Man of Steel be your enemy was enough reason for Shayera to not want to give him a reason to be angry at her. J'onn had the capabilities to ruin her mind like he did Kragger. It terrified Shayera to have that part of herself potentially be ripped away from her. She might have hated prison, but to be a prisoner of your own mind was terrifying.
Shayera wondered what will happen to her now that she was back. Could she still fight crime? If so, how can she fight to help? Despite her yearning to fly, her yearning to wield her mace again, she was afraid that reverting back to herself from five years ago will give everybody a reason to send her back. Who wants violent and hotheaded Shayera Hol back after all?
Shayera felt herself deflate at the thought. Did anyone ever really like her? John had told her that he loves her, but is it genuine or guilt running his decision? Carter might be an exception but only because of his obsession with the past. Shayera still suspects that the broken Absorbascon had planted false memories into him and she suspects that he still hasn't seen J'onn to fix his mind. There were two others that had defended her but she doubted they wanted anything to do with her now. The door slid open and Shayera turned, hoping that it was Wally but was shocked to see the Red Tornado standing in her doorway.
"May I come in?" he asked, his voice cybernetic. Shayera could only nod in response, confused as to why he was here in the first place. The Red Tornado walked in and sat down at the edge of her bed, pointing at his side so she can sit down. Shayera could remember five years ago how the Red Tornado and The Question had pushed the League to investigate her accusations.
"I have been granted permission from the Manhunter to speak with you." explained Red Tornado. Shayera felt her face slightly go confused at whoever this Manhunter was. When Tornado saw her confusion he explained, "J'onn J'onnz had been called the Manhunter as a joke one night during a Late Night Show and the nickname has stuck to him ever since."
Shayera felt herself smile at that. It's actually very funny once you thought about it deeply. Red Tornado continued to speak, "I would like to know how you've been these past weeks. You're the talk of the Tower lately and everybody has been wishing you for a speedy recovery."
Shayera frowned at his words. People wanted her to recover? Were there more people worried for her? She glanced at Red Tornado and said, "I'm feeling fine. I… I don't know what else to say… I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize, Hawkgirl," said Red Tornado when Shayera interjected with, "It's Shayera."
Realizing her mistake, she felt her fear spike and sweat break out from her skin as she quickly said, "I-I'm s-s-sorry. I-I-"
"It is alright," said Red Tornado quickly, having been warned by J'onn about Shayera's fear of angering others, "Shayera is a beautiful name."
Shayera blushed at his words, never having anyone other than John and Carter tell her so. After quietly thanking him, Red Tornado continued, "It has been agreed among many of us that we would like to help you on your recovery."
Shayera blinked at his words, shocked, and blurted out, "Why?"
"Believe it or not, there are some of us who knew all along about your innocence and there are those who want to seek redemption." explained Red Tornado. Shayera thought over his words, thinking carefully at what has been revealed to her. She knew that Carter, Red Tornado, and The Question had fought for her innocence and that was reason enough for her to accept their help. To those seeking redemption, a small part of her wants them to keep feeling that way while another part desperately wished to connect or reconnect with the small group of people she had been friends with or wanted to be friends with.
"How could you help?" asked Shayera, curious to know how he can help her.
"It has come to the attention to J'onn that you haven't explored outside your rooms yet." said Red Tornado, noting how she stiffened at his statement. She looked at the ground and said, "I can't."
"The open space terrifies you." said Red Tornado, stating his observation. When she nodded, he began to make plans to help her as they sat there. Shayera wondered if she could even think about leaving the room when the door opened again to reveal Wally with his hands full of sweets, a DVD, a player, and a TV.
"Oh hey Tornado!" he greeted with a smile, "Want to hang out as we watch 'Lions and Kings'?"
"Unfortunately, I need to start setting up plans with the Manhunter in order to further Shayera's rehabilitation. Perhaps some other time, Flash." said Red Tornado as he left the room to give the two their time together.
"Cool," said Flash as he quickly set up their movie time. Shayera's absence of five years meant that she missed plenty of movies, and Flash was eager to show her his personal favorites, "So is Red Tornado then going to be a part of the therapy sessions?"
"He said that there were people who wanted to help me." said Shayera quietly.
"The whole world wants to help you Shay," said Wally as he began to play the movie, "I wish you could have seen how everybody began to make plans to rescue you. There are still Hawkgirl supporters that wanted to pay for your bail. They had stuck on to your innocence even over the years you were gone."
Shayera felt a small weight lift from her heart. She never knew that there were actually people who supported her. Throughout her time after the Thanagarian Invasion, she had always felt so alone and thought for a very long time that everybody wanted her gone or dead. Shayera leaned her head against Wally's shoulder, watching the movie and enjoying the company peacefully. It's better on her end if she just didn't stress too much at the moment and worry about her situation later.
The man watched through his live feed as his love snuggled against the Flash. He felt a small form of jealousy, but only because he wished it was him that Shayera was leaned up against. The Flash is not his rival and therefore not worth his time. The Lantern however needed to be eliminated. Luthor's plan revolved entirely on his ability to separate her from the League's eyes. He didn't care what Luthor and Brainiac wanted from her, so long as she remains as his by the end of it. He cut the feed and walked out of his rooms, walking amongst the heroes as he performed his duties.
He passed by J'onn J'onnz and thought about the World Cup playoffs. The United States has no chance to win but they have a high chance to at least make it to the semi-finals, which meant that if he bets right against his bar friends then he will be able to win the whole pool. The Martian left the room and he left on the Zeta tube, intending to meet with meeting Luthor and Brainiac quickly. As the engineer sent him on his way, he was transported outside Midway City. He waited around for a few hours until the moon was overhead. In the cover of darkness, a large portal opened up in front of him and out emerged Luthor and Brainiac.
"How much longer are you going to request us a delay?" asked Luthor. Irritation was just the tip of the iceberg regarding this mission. They needed Hawkgirl to work the Absorbascon, needing her living and breathing in order to use the wondrous machine.
"Next week at the latest. A month at the most. The damn League has their eyes on her on rotation." said Shadow Thief. As he emerged from the body of Carter Hall, he remained standing as a shadow among them.
"Get it done soon," said Brainiac, "With ultimate knowledge in our hands, we will be able to reshape this world in our image and you and your 'beloved' will have a place in it."
"So long as you keep your end of the bargain," said Luthor, glaring at the Shadow Thief, "Are you positive that the League has no idea of your existence?"
"They are so caught up in the whole drama that they barely take a glance at me, so long as Carter Hall remains quiet and makes subtle inquiries here and there, they will never know it's me."
"They still don't know that Hawkman died on his last mission?" asked Luthor.
"No, he was already a loner after they had sent Hawkgirl away five years ago. Any change in his behavior will be completely overlooked." said Shadow Thief as he once again possessed the body of Hawkman, "So long as I continue to inhabit this body as my own, no one will ever know."
"Good," said Brainiac, "Then let's get back to the mission. Luthor and I will be awaiting for your signal. Until then, good luck."
Shayera wobbled a little, nervous that she had an audience during her therapy session. Red Tornado, The Question, J'onn, and Bruce were there to see if Shayera was ready to continue to the next step of her therapy session. When she remained upright for another walk, Bruce said, "Now that we have that down Shayera, we need to know if you're ready for the next step."
Shayera blinked, wondering if she was. She was so comfortable and secure being in her room that the thought of leaving gave her anxiety. The Red Tornado and The Question though wanted to help. There are people willing to help her and the only she can receive it is if she takes that step outside her room. She looked at Bruce and nodded, determination filling her body. J'onn heard her thoughts and could feel her emotions and for one moment, he was greeted with the old Shayera. The one who never gave up and was always pushing forward. She hasn't let go of her fears yet, but J'onn could see that she will eventually learn to not fear them.
"Let's begin then," said Question, moving forward, "Would you like to join Red Tornado and I for lunch in the cafeteria today? The Flash will be meeting with us later on."
Shayera smiled and nodded, taking a hesitant step but walking more confidently, following them out the door. As she followed them out her room. Bruce remained behind, a feeling of suspiciousness filling him. It wasn't towards Shayera but it was directed towards her room. He looked around, feeling as though another set of eyes was watching him. He narrowed his eyes and decided to tell J'onn that he was going to move Shayera's quarters down to the Metrotower so he can investigate the room better. Something was off and when he had these feelings, they were never wrong.
Hey readers, I'm sorry I haven't been updating a lot. I never anticipated spending them summer in camps and acting as a counselor as a favor to a friend. Hopefully you guys liked the chapter and I'll be writing more soon :) thanks for reading :)