Mistakes

Shayera's confidence ebbed away as she walked closer and closer to the cafeteria. She began to fidget and was more unsure in her steps as they got closer. The Red Tornado's presence however kept her feeling safe so she didn't bolt and run in the opposite direction. Shayera kept her hands tightly held together and tried to at least control her wings so they wouldn't flare out unconsciously.

J'onn only sighed when he heard her fears in her mind, wondering if perhaps they may have been pushing a little in rehabilitating Shayera by having this exercise. Bruce and The Question though believe that it will be better for Shayera to just rip out the band aid now.

Shayera wanted to grab someone's hand, at least to be reassured that everything was going to be alright. She jumped a little when she felt a cold hand grab hers and she turned to see J'onn giving her a kind smile. Shayera relaxed and continued walking towards the cafeteria. As they passed the threshold to get food, Shayera was assaulted by smell, sound, and just the plain feeling of claustrophobia. So many people were in the cafeteria and Shayera squeezed J'onn's hand, afraid and unsure if she truly was ready.

"You are with us Shayera," assured J'onn, "You are among friends."

Shayera could only squeak out a noise, her fear overriding her thoughts. Just as she was about to bolt and run, Wally appeared next to her with his arm slung around her shoulders. His bright smile and reassuring vibe helped Shayera relax and calm down as she released her hold on J'onn's hand and followed Wally to a secluded table, well away from the chatting heroes and heroines that have yet to see Shayera. Wally sat her down next to the wall and sat beside her, offering her a little shelter and a little buffer to which she is grateful for. Question sat across from her and the Red Tornado sat next to him. Batman had left earlier in order to begin moving Shayera from the Watchtower to the Metrotower, his feelings of being watched not ignored.

"So how are you?" asked Wally, feeling that Shayera was afraid and nervous just based on how stiff she is.

"I'm good," said Shayera, her voice low and a little strained, "It feels… different."

"Different good or bad?" asked Question.

"Good." said Shayera, her hands shaking underneath the table so no one else could see.

"Good," smiled Wally, "So what do you want to eat? They have chinese out today!"
At this, Shayera's interest spiked. For so long she had been forced to eat sludge and after her rescue, J'onn kept her on a strict diet of hospital food in order to supply her with proper nutritions and much needed vitamins in order for her body to heal well. The thought of anything related to chinese food brought instant excitement through her. She wondered if they had eel heads, if not then perhaps beef broccoli or the honey walnut shrimp she once tried before the initial accusations against her. Thoughts of her favorite dishes though made her feel depressed quickly though. Five years were taken away from her. Five years in which everything has changed but not really. Shayera once again felt anxiousness rise in her and J'onn, having read her thought and knowing that she would only regret not going through with it till the end,, quickly said,"Let's go in the line."

Red Tornado stayed in his seat, being a robot after all and not needing to eat, but the others followed after J'onn. Shayera stayed behind Wally, gripping his arm as she realized that everybody in the cafeteria finally noticed her. The loud conversation turned into a hush and Shayera could feel sweat beads roll down the side of her face. She closed her wings tightly around her, creating a feathered cloak and had a tight grip on Wally's arm. Wally wanted to yelp in pain at Shayera's grip but kept quiet, not wanting Shayera to feel guilty.

Wally grabbed a lunch tray and handed it to Shayera, who took a while to dislodge her grip from Wally's arm and quickly grabbed the tray and held it up in front of her like a shield. Question, Flash, and J'onn grabbed their food as they greeted their server. Shayera glanced up to see the sad look the server gave her. Shayera trembled, wondering if she did something wrong and tightened her wings again before slightly backing away.

"Shay? Do you see anything you want?" asked Wally, coming to her rescue. Shayera fearfully looked at the food in front of her and shook her head, ignoring the growling protest of her stomach.

"It's ok," said the server, his voice low and slow, "Just tell me what you want and I can serve it to you. Easy as pie."

Shayera only trembled, unsure what to do despite hearing his instructions. Is she allowed to eat this food? Did they really wanted her here? The crowd had finally noticed her and their conversation revolved around her and her recovery. Her hearing hasn't been dulled away by her years in prison and she can hear their questioning, wondering if she should be out of her room or if she should be eating the food. Shayera should have known that integrating back with the other heroes was too much to hope for. She trembled more visibly, worrying J'onn and Wally as she took another step back away from his extending hand.

Shayera was too panic-driven to hear the heavy step falls behind her and she was too deep in her thoughts to see Wally gesture wildly at the person behind her. She felt a heavy hand on her shoulder and the slight squeeze immediately brought back memories of the dungeon.

She was being dragged back by her wings, her arms and legs tied as the Gordanian dragged her away for another session in the electric chair. It was one of the Gordanian's favorite uses of torture. Shayera grunted in pain as it felt that her wings were being pulled out from their sockets. She knew though that the Gordanians wouldn't deliberately pull it out, knowing that her wings were her most sensitive parts of her body. When they entered the room, they strapped her in the chair, wetting her head before placing electric nodes on her head.

When the machine powered up, Shayera screamed in pain as the electricity ran down her body. Shayera at one point had immunity to electricity due to her mace, but without being around it constantly her defenses lowered. The only time she is exposed to electricity now is to ensure that she feels the pain. Shayera twitched on the chair, knowing that the pain was about to get worse, and again cursed herself for ever betraying her friend's trust.

Shayera shrieked, her wings flapping hazardously as she tried to push back her assailant. She heard someone gasp and fall but she didn't turn to see who it was. Shayera kept screaming in pain, her memories overriding her senses and causing her to feel her ghosts. She ran, her wings often hindering her progress but sometimes helping her. Her lack of control over her wings had stopped Flash and J'onn from restraining her. Shayera clumsily stumbled around, ignoring the calls for her to remain calm. Her heart was racing as she quickly tried to run back to her room. Shayera instinctively lashed out with her elbow and knocked someone in the jaw. Shayera kept running and would have made it to her room had it not been for Black Canary's tackle.

Shayera was knocked to the ground with the blonde's arms right around her, her wings strapped down. Shayera fought back against the tight grip on her and tried to be free again: not wanting to go back.

"Hawkgirl! Calm down!" said Dinah, hoping her words would reach Hawkgirl's ears.

"Please, don't send me back! Please!" pleaded Shayera. Tears were running down her face and she no longer fought back, instead slumped against Canary.
"No one is sending you back. Shh. Just calm down. Shhh." said Dinah as she held and comforted the weeping woman in her arms. When she had seen the obvious panic attack that was rising up in Hawkgirl, Dinah made to move towards her to help her calm down, but Atom Smasher had quickly made his way towards the heroine and attempted to speak to her. Canary had seen Flash's gestures to stop Atom Smasher from touching the obviously panic-stricken heroine and tried to stop him but it was too late. When Hawkgirl reacted viciously, Canary again tried to stop her but her attempts to run away made it difficult to even try to grab her. Her wings kept flaring out and pushing back everybody who tried to stop her. When Hawkgirl almost made it to her room, Canary knew it would be difficult for her to calm down without having somebody with her. When she saw her opening, Canary tackled Hawkgirl to the ground.

Hearing Hawkgirl's pleas not to be sent back sent a spear to Dinah's heart. She remembered five years ago how it was so easy to just ignore Hawkgirl's cries of her innocence. How easy it was to forget Hawkgirl's previous attempts of reconciliation with the world. Dinah held Hawkgirl close to her, stroking her hair and promising her that she wouldn't be sent back. Flash and J'onn appeared in front of her quickly and she waited until Hawkgirl stopped crying before looking at her to see that she had passed out from exhaustion. J'onn carried Hawkgirl away to her room, leaving behind Flash and Dinah in the hallway.

"She wasn't ready." said Dinah, looking at Flash.

"I see that now. She told us she was though." said Flash, a sad expression on his face.

"She wanted things to go back normal, so she wouldn't have to remember the last five years again." said Dinah.
"We should have waited before introducing her back into the League." said Flash.

"Why did you think it was good to have her jump such a large stepping stone? It's obvious when I saw her that she wasn't ready." said Dinah.
"Question and Tornado thought it would be a good idea to show Shayera that everybody didn't hate her." explained Flash.

"While admirable, I think the next time you think it's a good idea you should give me the reigns." said Dinah, her arms crossing as she walked back towards the cafeteria.

"You have experience?" asked Flash, following after her.

"I help the people in the streets, Flash," said Dinah, "Which means more than just saving the occasional life. I go into rehab clinics and therapy sessions to help out everybody in anyway I can."

"That's great!" praised Flash, making Dinah smile.

Dinah walked back into the cafeteria while Flash sped away to the Monitor Room in order to find Batman. She walked in to find Atom Smasher still on the ground, his shoulders hunched and head down. Supergirl, Stargirl, and Firestorm were attempting to console the giant man as he stared guiltily at the floor.
"It's not your fault! We had no idea she would act like that!" said Stargirl.

"Still… I should have known she wasn't alright. Who will be alright after being in prison for five years with monsters?" asked Atom Smasher.

"It wasn't your fault Albert," said Dinah as she walked up to him and rubbed his back, "She wasn't ready to be around so many people. We're just going to have to take things very slow."
"Why was she afraid of us?" asked Firestorm. Dinah looked at the young hero with a surprised look on her face and said, "You honestly can't forget why she was gone for five years Firestorm."

She watched as Firestorm guiltily looked at the ground, forgetting in the moment how he was among the many to accuse Hawkgirl of murder.

"Will she be ok?" asked Supergirl quietly.
"In time she will be, we just have to remember that she will need us to give her space and understanding." said Dinah. The young heroes left the cafeteria, leaving Dinah to sit back down next to Ollie and Huntress.
"Is she ok?" asked Ollie, wrapping an arm around Dinah.

"No, she's afraid we'll send her back. After today, it will be a miracle to get her to even leave her room." said Dinah.

"I knew having her out of her room too soon was going to trigger something," muttered Huntress as she sipped her soda, "It's not healthy for someone with trauma like hers to be rushing into things."

"Where's John? I would have thought he would have at least been there for her." said Ollie.
"He's on an off world mission with Superman and Diana," explained Dinah, "We're not expected to hear from them until at least another two days."

"She shouldn't have been outside and I don't know what they were thinking in bringing her in here with her trauma. They shouldn't have even tried to let her eat Chinese food if she has been on hospital food rations." muttered Huntress, angry at how they were handling the situation.
"You seem angry, why?" asked Ollie.
"If I had been here, I could have given her a proper defense at least." said Huntress angrily, "If the League of Shadows hadn't had me prisoner…"

"It's ok, Helena," said Dinah, "There are a lot of us who want to fix things right now. I should have at least given her to benefit of the doubt, instead I let the vibe of it all influence me."

The trio talked amongst themselves, Mari behind them listening in. It still hurts to hear about the trauma Shayera was going through. It didn't help that she is constantly reminded how it was mostly everybody's fault for her condition.

Mari took one last glance at the trio before getting up and making her way towards Shayera's room, needing to talk with J'onn about a possible one on one talk. She walked out, hearing everybody going back to normal or at least trying to, when she again ran into Flash.
"Hey Flash," said Mari quietly, "how is she?"

"She's sleeping again. After today… Batman says it would be better to move her down to the Metrotower to help with her therapy sessions." said Flash.

"They found a counselor?" asked Mari.
"Yeah… it's… not who I expected." said Flash, grimacing as he recalled Batman's dark brooding stare.
"Who?" asked Mari.

"… Harley Quinn."

Earlier

Bruce was typing away at his computer, designing a more secure bedroom for Shayera at the Metrotower. There was something off about her room in the Watchtower and he needed to investigate without disrupting her therapy sessions. He hadn't had these feelings in a while: the paranoia and urgency. It was comforting because they were familiar so he is able to work with them but at the same time they normally ended in disaster for him. He was formatting new security walls that will stop foreign objects from being placed in the room when he received a call from Damien.
"Father," he spoke, "the clown girl wants to speak with you."

Bruce stopped typing in surprise. Quinn was back? The last time he had seen her, she was only in Gotham to help a friend from being murdered in Arkham. She's normally stationed in New York where she's giving the superhero run a try.

"I'll be right there." said Bruce and he left the cave quickly to see what Quinn wanted. It took about thirty minutes to reach where Damien was and sure enough, Quinn was casually leaning against the alley wall.
"Took yer time didn'tcha?" asked Quinn.
"What do you want Quinn?" asked Bruce.

"I want to help out Shay." said Quinn. Bruce blinked in surprise before they narrowed into suspicious slits, "What is your relationship with Hawkgirl?"

"Geez calm down," said Quinn, airily waving her hand, "I want to help her in the same way she's helped me."

"When?" demanded Bruce.
"About six years ago. I almost went back to him, ya know? " said Quinn.

"What does Shayera have to do with it?" asked Bruce.

"She was battling some random baddie in the city when she got knocked over near my place in Coney Island. We talked and she convinced me to hold on a little longer before I tried going back to him." said Quinn.

"Is this your form of repayment?" asked Bruce.
"You make it sound like it's some business deal. Shay is my friend. After she helped me, she would always come to my place to talk and hang out. She said it was one of her last places to be her, ya know? She couldn't really rely on you heroes in knowing what it's like to fight for a second chance." said Quinn as she pointedly looked at Batman, daring him to try to deny it. But Bruce wasn't going to. He knew the struggles Shayera suffered after rejoining the League. J'onn at one point had even put Shayera under Suicide watch for a few days.

"If you are to be her counselor Quinn, it will be under my supervision." said Batman. Quinn only shrugged, disinterest in her eyes as she walked away and said, "I'll be by that fancy tower of yours in three days' time."

"One question Quinn," said Bruce, "If you were such good friends with Shayera, why didn't you speak up during her trial?"

"Are you KIDDING?" screamed Quinn, "WHO'LL BELIEVE ME? I TRIED TO HELP BUT WHO WANTS TO HEAR THE WORDS OF AN EX-VILLAINESS? YOU EVEN IGNORED MY ATTEMPTS TO CALL!"

Bruce didn't flinch at her outburst, seeing the sincerity in her eyes. It seemed this was also hitting close to home for Quinn.

"I tried to build my own rocket to go to space and get her myself. Ivy tried helping too but it couldn't work out in the end." said Quinn.
"Ivy is in on it?" asked Bruce.
"Ivy and Shay always liked to talk science stuff." said Quinn.

Bruce watched as Quinn walked away, deciding to have a little faith in the clown princess and called up Flash in order to rely the information to J'onn, who wasn't answering his comm-link.

Bruce and Damien spent the rest of the night patrolling, needing to find a way to get his mind off of his obvious failure to his friend. He can only hope things will get better from here on out.

Hey readers. Hopefully you liked. It took a while, I have work and internships to deal with first and then schoolwork. On the final stretch though before midterms so hopefully I'll update The Nightingale before then for you readers who read my other stories. Anyways, thanks for reading and until next time, thank you :)