The long awaited chapter as to why Leo is going crazy:
Every one of Leo's instincts screamed warning as he warily surveyed the terrain, looking for concealment. Here in this part of town, there were patches of black that clung like dripping tar from the shadows cast. Broken pieces of the caved in roof revealed the star-bloated abyss above him. The entire place was abandoned and Leo felt the silence was as consuming as a tomb. Uneasily, he waited, feeling both perversely exposed and abandoned at the same time.
What in the hell was he thinking, leaving the Lair alone to meet in secret with Karai? Was he truly stupid enough to believe that she really wanted to negotiate peace between them? But, after all the misery her father had brought to his family, he was almost deliriously eager to have the constant, literal sword removed from their lives. The glitter of the possibility-his brothers free from harm, no more anxious vigils of wondering if one would live-wa enough justification for him to try. He loved his family. It was his job as the leader to protect him. The equation's answer was brutally simple.
Until now.
Now, as his gut clenched in a mixture of guilt, self-loathing, and the searing clarity of his foolishness, Leonardo swallowed hard, and willed himself to stand where he was.
How idiotic he had been to assume that the death of the Shredder would mean an end to the constant threat against his family. And yet-
Leo's face flamed with humilation at the encounter with Karai. It had been a long, hard night of empty patrols on the same streets. Raphael had been testy and irritable, and Mikey was whining. Leo gave them all permission to go back to the Lair. He had informed them he would be out a few minutes later than normal so that he could clear his head. After having to break up the constant bickering, Leo simply wanted to relish a few moments of solitude. That was it.
Karai may not have been her father reincarnated, but she had either been tracking him for weeks, or just got incredibly lucky. Leo recalled, with renewed shame, how she had literally appeared of nowhere, flitted around like a perturbed hornet. Leo had his katanas unsheathed and ready to kill, only to feel the cold jab of metal and the dull glitter of her dagger at his throat.
He had never been more humilated or anguished, as she merely curled, cat like at his side, and whispered, "Do not bother drawing your weapon, Leonardo. You will be gutted long before you can do me harm. "
She smirked at his shudder, at his narrowed eyes glittering with hatred. Eying the dagger with disgust, he spat, "It's dishonorable to leave me weaponless if you plan on a fight, Karai."
The light danced off the small blade as she casually carved into his flesh. He hissed as the line of red appeared across his throat, and forced himself to remain still.
He felt the weird flicker of pain, the dull sting, and the trickle of blood over his collarbone. The wound itself was light, nothing more severe than a paper cut.
"If I wanted to kill you, I have already had several chances, Leonardo." Mockingly, she gestured over his shoulder, towards the vacant street. The stark realization made Leo feel physically ill. How on earth did she manage to track him for that long without revealing anything? How in the hell could she have blindsided him like this?
Dismay flickered over his features. The grin on her twisted lips grew feral as she drew closer. "And if I can track you at leisure, what do you think I can do to your family?"
Leo grit his teeth, and forced down the instinct to disembowel her on the spot. "If you ever threaten my family again, I'll kill you."
Her chuckle sounded as brittle as fragmenting glass. "And all of you should die, for what you did to mine."
He drew a shuddering breath, and closed his eyes, exhaling. "Killing my family won't restore yours, Karai."
She tilted her head, and narrowed her eyes. "But it will allow my father to rest in peace."
Leo's throat muscles worked, as the dagger sliced deeper. Inwardly wincing, he tried to keep the blade from cutting any more into his sweating neck.
His katanas were within reach. Less than a foot away, and yet the blade at his throat flickered with hideous promise. Karai was close enough to gut him like an could have him bled out in minutes, if he had that long.
"My father once told me that breaking an enemy can be far more cruel than killing him, Leonardo. Shall we find out?"
He gave her a murderous glare. "You're never going to break me, or my brothers, Karai. And I swear, here and now, if you harm them, I'll-"
His words ended with agony and a strangled yelp when she stabbed him in the shoulder. One slice at his belt, another at his harness, and the katana at his back clattered from his shell to the concrete. With a cry, he dove for his swords, as she cut again, a long, smooth slit deep into his arm. She sent the swords skittering out of his grasp with a deft kick.
Snarling, he curled his shaking fingers over the wound, and felt the blood dribbling from under his palm. His eyes slid towards hers, teeth bared like he was choking in a snare. And then, he leaped into the flip.
Foot, palm, crippled twisting of his injured hand as he spun and kicked with every evasive move he could send pouring through his torpid limbs. And then, the humilating topple as she hissed. The chains flew from the shadows to tether his arms and legs to his shell. The first wrapped snakelike around his ankles, coiling them together long enough to trip him.
He pitched foward, and his face scraped concrete. He felt the sudden, tremendous blow of knees landing on his shell. A light touch at his throat, and then the cold bite of metal, as Karai laced the chain at the back of his neck, and then savagely yanked. His last breath was spat out, as he raised his hands to claw at the chain.
She smirked from behind and tightened her grip. Leo choked into the spasm, as the last of his air dribbled out into the strangled grunt.
Air! Oh, God, he couldn't breathe! He couldn't BREATHE
Karai felt the tortured lurch of his hands against the chain, the blood under his nails where he had tried to claw his neck free. She allowed enough slack for him to draw a breath that sounded like it was being inhaled through gravel. Leo wheezed what little he could, whoozy and sickened from the lack of oxygen.
"As my father told me, Leonardo. Breaking an enemy can be far more cruel than killing him."
His eyes were dark and wet with tears as they slid up to hers, almost fever bright.
"Since my father's death, I have been hard at work regaining what was lost, Leonardo. Do not think that I am content in simply letting your crimes against him go unpunished."
The point was emphasized by her twisting the chain, hard against his throat. Another savage yank, as he frantically clawed at the noose to free himself.
She impassively watched with wry amusement as his movements became spastic, as his tortured lungs screamed and he was reduced to the twitches of a dying cockroach.
Dying. He was truly, truly dying. The realization floated through his aching head, and exploded into agony as it seared back through his lungs.
Air, AIR! PLEASE-
Minutes. He had been without air for minutes and was still fighting for his life. She let a few links slide free, and his entire body shuddered with the force of instinctive inhalation.
He gurgled like he was drowning, too exhausted to do more than tremble and stare at the sky with eyes empty as those of a corpse.
She waited patiently as the oxygen slowly rounsed him enough to make his eyes flicker into awareness. The hazy, clouded look finally left his eyes, only to be replaced by something entirely new.
Fear. Fear that make him quake and stare, wide-eyed as a newborn child first gracing the world. Fear that made him stare at his empty hands and reflexively seek his weapons.
"Leonardo." His flinch was bone deep, as she glided forward, the chain still digging into his throat.
"Your loyalty to your family is admirable, Leonardo. I imagine that you would do whatever you could to keep them safe."
His snarl emerged, but it was rasped out and weak. "...Leave them out of this."
He recoiled when she gently pat his shoulder.
"The burden you carry of keeping your existance concealed is taking a toll on you, isn't it? As you well know, the human world is not kind to freaks of nature. To mutants." The last word was purred, as she knelt to look into his eyes.
Leo tensed at that, the warning slithering like ice through his veins.
Karai smirked, and Leo stiffened, expecting to be hit or hurt. Leo's eyes widened in confusion when Karai pulled forth the benign looking cell phone.
Was she going to call down a team of scientists to butcher him? Was she-
"Perhaps it would comfort you now to see your family."
Leo watched, numbly, as the cell phone flickered to life, and revealed a crystal clear view of the dojo. Mikey, oblivious to being watched, was giggling and doing flips,
as Raph groused irritably, unseen from the corner. Master Splinter was muttering something and shaking his head, as he tilted his face upward.
Leo stared as the rat's dark eyes narrowed quizzically at the ceiling. For one hopeful moment, he was looking Splinter in the face. It was gut-wrenching when the old rat simply shook his head and resumed his slow walk to the kitchen for tea.
"Maybe you would like another view?" She mockingly offered, as she slid her thumb over another button. Leo felt physically ill as the back of Don's shell slid into view.
Don was hunched over his laptop, clacking away at some project. Like his brothers and father, he seemed to be completely oblivous to being watched. For all his scanners, alarms, and technological proclivity, Donny was now serenely typing in full view of his enemy and whoever else Karai chose to show this to.
A few more clicks, and he could only gape as his only refuge and loved ones were gleefully exposed. Every room, every angle, all secrets laid bare.
"How?" He choked out, bewildered. "How could you do this without us knowing? How in the world did you get past-"
The smile curled over her lips. "I thought it would give you comfort, Leonardo, to know that there is now no way that you can ever truly be alone."
Leo shivered, but managed to keep the tremble out of his voice. "Leave my family alone, Karai. I'm warning you for the last time."
Her smirk thinned into a grim line, as she tightened the chain in warning. "You are in no position to give orders, or threaten, Leonardo. And if I am able to invade your precious refuge undetected, and watch as I please, what truly makes you believe that I couldn't simply kill your family as well? Granted-"
She shrugged, non-chalantly, "The cost would be high to the Foot. None of your brothers would simply surrender, and the rat would undoubtably be difficult to subdue. But in the end, any animal, regardless of strength, skill, or endurance, can be slain, even your family. And even you."
His eyes blazed with tears, and then hardened.
"Then take me and leave them alone! What do you want, Karai?"
She softly smiled at the demand. Apparently the turtle believed that she was simply going to order the slaughter of his family and force him to watch.
"As I have said, Leonardo. Why kill when you can torture first?"
"Karai-" The chain coiled serpentine around his throat, sunk deeper into his pulse, and now seemed to strangle the world out of existence. She waited for his eyes to flutter close from the lack of air before she let go.
Breathing made his face contort in agony, as he flopped back, sweating and heaving for air.
He was stilled by the tip of the dagger digging out a fresh scar right below his chin. "Do you wish to spare your family, Leonardo?"
His eyes flickered with hatred, but he was helpless at the moment. "You know I'd give my life for them, Karai." He spat.
"And so you shall, Leonardo, but not in the way that you think."
He tensed again, in alarm, as she simply breathed, and pat his plastron. Somehow, the touch was worse than the dagger.
"My father also said that the best sort of torture is the sort that errodes the soul from within." She paused, as her fingers curled against his throat.
"I will make no move to destroy your family, Leonardo, because you will do it for me."
Leo winced as the dagger traced another line through his flesh. "My family won't be broken by my death, Karai. If anything, it will just make them more determined to kill you."
Her words slid like ice over his very soul. "The wounds of a betrayal often outlive the loss brought by death, Leonardo. And if you wish to spare your loved ones, you will betray them."
"What?" Leo whispered, as the thrill of dread seemed to coil deep in his gut. His eyes shot open. "I don't understand! What do you want me to do? Tell me how to save them, please!"
The dagger severed any more of his words, as Karai chuckled softly. "I want you to make your family despise your very presence. I want them to look at you with hatred, and cast you out like the monster you truly are."
Leo choked back, but couldn't hide the whimper.
Leaning closer, she almost gently whispered, "As you now well know, your home and your family are being watched, Leonardo. Alert them to this, and I'll simply order a slaughter of all of them. Give me a reason to suspect that you are foolish enough to even hint of this, and I'll kill them all. Attempt to have any of your family members flee, one at a time, or as a group, and I'll simply hunt them down at my leisure. As you have already pointed out, if I can invade your precious refuge with this level of observence, your family has no hope in stealth. I can order your throats slit at any moment. Do not forget that I am well aware of your human friends, Miss O'Neil and Mr. Jones.. I think that you would probably wish to spare them a violent end."
The truth was shattering. Leo tried not to crumble completely at the sickening, stunning awareness that Karai could kill them all.
"You will have three days, Leonardo. Three days in which to errode your family's love for you, betray your brother's trust, and fracture any bond you claim with your father."
The chain slackened a bit, and Leo suddenly longed for the numbing stranglehold. It would have been far easier to withstand than this.
"It has been said that sometimes one must be cruel to be kind, Leonardo. And you will be very cruel to your family if you hope to save them."
The dagger swung like a pendulam, winked like a star, and came to rest before his huge, rigid gaze.
"You will hurt them." Her words felt like bricks being slammed into Leo's soul. An irrevokable order.
"Never!" The desperate wail exploded as Karai just shook her head.
"You will hurt them, or I will kill them."
Leo's tears rose, then. "I can't." A sliver of a plea, raw horror, a prayer for absolution.
"A wounding from your hands is far more merciful than killing from my blade. It is your choice."
The long, tortured seconds crawled by, as she abruptly hoisted the phone to her lips.
"Do you doubt me?"
The question unfurled like a noose, as Leo could only shake his head, helplessly.
She smirked. "It is admirable to see that you are not willing to gamble the lives of your family on the chance that I am either lying or making idle threats."
Kneeling, she graced fingers over Leo's drawn forehead and ghosted the dagger at his throat.
"You will have three days, Leonardo, to break your family. You will break their bones, but more importantly, their hearts. Do not think you will evade me by doling out nothing more than bruises. You will wound them deeply, and deliberately. Make them fear you. I want their loathing of you to be earned well."
She paused, lingering to savor his torture. "And to prove how much you love them, I expect you to inflict your brother Raphael with a special injury. He will be the first one that I kill if you fail in this."
Leo's face contorted. "At the end of those three days, return here alone. Refuse, and savor the blood of your family on your hands."
He trembled as the dagger was finally withdrawn. He heard and saw nothing more than the silent footsteps, eyes the shade of obsidion, the cruel curve of her smirk.
And then she was gone.
(End of flashback)
Oblivion slithered away into slowly yielding awareness. Leonardo first felt the rough texture of the dojo mat underneith his splayed fingers. The dull ache in his head flared into agony, as he groaned and tried to clutch his aching head in his hands. He winced and ran a hesitant finger over the bruise at the back of his skull. He inwardly winced, both at the pain and the memory of Donny clubbing him unconscious. Cracking his eyes open, he blinked at the glare of the harsh overhead light. Leonardo rolled into fetal position, gripped the pillow in his fists and used it to muffle his sobbing. Donny had clubbed him, Mikey feared him, and Splinter had drugged him.
Surely this was enough. Surely he had broken his family enough to save them, to appease Karai.
He loved them. He loved them so much that he was willing to inflict this hell upon them to save them. To die for them, if it took that, but to kill?
The acidic guilt seared through his thoughts as he continued the helpless sobbing. Surely by now, Raphael would hate him. Hopelessly, Leo looked at the door, longing to see Raphael kicking it down, both sais ready to plunge through his heart and end this hell. He had kept his silence and spared their lives at the cost of losing his own soul. And in the process, he numbly realized that he was probably beyond any thought of mercy or forgiveness, even if he were to scream out the horrible truth to them all.
And if he did that, they would die.
Losing his soul, losing his life, were almost petty sacrifices now. God help him, he was now losing his family.