The silence crawled, and the binds were starting to itch. Leo kept twitching indecisive fingers against the soft warmth of Splinter's quilt, knowing that all that was needed was a quick, savage twist, and he would be free.

A few quiet steps out of the Lair, a moment to pilfer whatever weapon he could snatch, and his family would be left with his gaping absence, the empty bed, the unexplained wounds.

His family would never know of his hell, or that he was sacrificing his life to save theirs. Leo didn't expect Karai to let him live, let him go, or even give him a last word. They never even know that he was dead, they would only know that he had left them.

Leo swallowed back tears.

Enough with the crying. I can cry all I want afterwards.

He drew a steadying breath, gave the ache in his heart a few more second's tribute.

This is the good-bye. Of all the ways I thought I would leave…..God help me, it wasn't supposed to be like this!

Leo choked back the sob, gave himself a few more moments to collect his shattered nerves. Breathing deeper, he shut his eyes, and forced himself to center, to calm, and then, to plan.

He had to get the hell away from the Lair, and he had to warn his family. It was stupid to think that Karai would graciously allow his father, his brothers, April and Casey to live.

Leo growled in frustration, and let his aching head flop back into the softness of the pillow. His fingers brushed the knots again, and ghosted over the loose one.

Splinter had left it loose on purpose. Leo took some bitter solace in knowing that one family member still thought he had some worth.

Splinter also knew something was clearly amiss, but without specifics, what good would that do?

The Lair was under surveillance. His family was being watched. Telling them would be killing them.

Leo weighed his narrow options, and growled in frustration. April and Casey may or may not be under watch. Maybe he could somehow contact them and warn his family.

Maybe he should just call them all in here, scream out the truth, and all of them run like hell. How long would they have until the Foot came? Where would they go?

There were too many possibilities, too many unknowns, and Leo hated being so helpless.

Stop the useless speculation. You can't do anything about that yet.

Leo sighed as he stared down at the knot. None of his plans were of any use until he could decide to free himself from the knots and flee, or wait.

And what exactly am I waiting for?I can't tell them good-bye. I can't apologize. I can't tell them I love them, or even explain that I'm saving them. Leaving them like this is hell, but staying is worse. The longer I lay here and bawl, the less time I have to actually do something. So, this is it, then.

Leo raised his fist, curled back his lips and prepared to work the loose knot over with his teeth. At least if Karai was watching his "escape," he'd put on a convincing show that Splinter had no part in it.

Leo tensed at the sound of footsteps, the almost timid slide of the door.

Leo quickly lay back, shut his eyes, and forced his erratic breathing to slow as if he were only sleeping. It wasn't the nearly silent glide or gentle tapping of Splinter's cane.

From the lurching wince…Oh, God, it was Raph.

Leo heard the sound of a chair scraping across the floor, somebody abruptly slamming it down, and somebody angrily flopping into the chair.

Leo flinched at the shock of something metal and very sharp being jabbed at his ribs. It was more of a mocking poke, Raphael wasn't even exerting enough force to break his skin.

Shaking and now, nearly sick, Leo's eyes shot open and fell on the trembling sai that glittered in the wan light.

Raphael chuckled at his terror, as he sat back with a shake of his head and a bitter, knowing smirk.

"Nice to see you awake, Fearless." Raphael sounded eerily pleasant as he savored Leo's uncertainty. Hell, Fearless was tensing up like a scared rabbit under a hawk.

Good.

Leo was silent, and did nothing but warily watch as Raph twirled the sai with his good arm and let it dangle. Leo had only afew inches of leverage, he was weaponless, and if he were lucky, Raphael would be gracious and shove the sai right through his heart.

Raph eased himself into a more comfortable position, carefully setting down his injured limb to rest over the back of the chair.

Leo winced, looking bewildered and lost as he stared up at Raph's wounded arm.

I inflicted that damage to you, Raph. It was the last thing that I ever wanted to do, and the only thing I could do to save you. I'm sorry. I am so , I will never forgive myself for what I've done to you.

Leo clenched his eyes shut until he could look at Raph without sobbing. He choked back everything, and felt like he was holding in a volcano. Forcing his lips to curl into a brittle smirk, he gave Raph's sai an almost irritated glance.

Leo managed to sneer out, "Come to even the score?"

Leo expected Raphael to recoil, explode, or run him through. Any reaction except Raph's anguish that was quickly masked by his scowl. Eyes narrowing, Raphael shook his head in disgust, as he sighed.

"Drop the act, Leo. You ain't fooling me."

Leo's cobbled together bravado crumbled into rigid, shaking fear. Trembling, Leo rose on his elbows, looking as if he were going to be sick.

Raph paused to relish the abrupt change, but stopped the sarcasm when he saw Leo's terror. Hell, Fearless had never looked that scared of anything.

"Raph!" Leo whispered, as if he were afraid of being overheard. Eyes darting around the room, and towards the ceiling, Leo looked like a hunted animal. Scowling, Raph looked up, and wondered how in the hell the familiar bricks of the ceiling were anything to freak out over.

Leo flopped back, limp, chest heaving as he buried what little of his face he could into the pillow. Snarling through his tears, he choked out, "Get out."

Raphael's eyes narrowed, and hardened..

"I ain't leaving until you tell me why in the hell you stabbed me." Raph's voice was strangely quiet and waiting.

In those few seconds, Leo's fear had gone from dull ache to frenzied panic.

Raph, damn it, shut up! Shut and leave before she hears and kills you! Please, Raph! Please, just hate me, and leave me before I fall apart and I can't keep it in any more. Please, Raph…..

"Because I wanted to! There's your reason! Now get out!" Leo nearly shrieked, as Raph only shook his head with a snort.

"Leo." Raph was unearthly calm as he gestured towards the door. "You may have them all convinced that you're just a headcase who flipped out but you ain't fooling me."

Twist the knife in Raph's side. Twist it until he's so pissed off and shattered that he beats me to death and stops all of this. God help me, I don't know what else to do…"

Leo jerked his head towards Raph's weapon. This was Raph. The best way to derail this dangerously revealing conversation was to stir the coals abit. Provoke an attack and let Raph's rage burn it all down.

"Did you come to retaliate? Come on, Raph-" Leo nearly purred, "I'm helpless. You have a fighting chance to plunge your weapon right through my chest and get your revenge. Go on. Take it."

Raphael squinted, as he brushed a finger over his weapon. He smirked, and shook his head. "So, that's your game plan, fearless? Piss me off until I throw a hissy fit and forget this?"

Raph raised the bandages a few inches.

Leo narrowed his eyes,and breathed out, " game plan was for me to kill you."