I regret to inform you that despite my prolonged, unforeseen absence, I still do not own the Teen Titans.

Raven must have known something was up - she was an empath, after all. And Beast Boy wasn't stupid; he figured he must have been broadcasting his disappointment throughout the tower, and despite her objection on invading privacy, she had to have sensed it. Otherwise, her sudden tiptoeing around him had no explanation.

He tried to act normal. He smiled, laughed, and even teased her when she tripped during training. He joked with Kid Flash and argued with Jinx during dinner, and even kept up his goofy demeanor when Robin called to update everyone. Nobody noticed how his smile didn't reach his eyes, nor did they notice the way he stared at the ground and shuffled on his feet. Nobody noticed... except Raven, apparently.

He was so stupid to think she wouldn't figure it out - that he could get away with liking her; that it wouldn't compromise their arrangement or ruin their friendship. He was a total idiot! Of course she would figure it all out! She was the smartest person he had ever met. She was probably insulted that he thought he could pull one over on her.

How could he have been so careless? He should have never agreed to helping her - it only caused trouble. And frustration. And a little bit of pain.

It was awful.

Beast Boy ran his hand down his face in exasperation as he neared her room. It was nearing midnight, and he knew that avoiding her any longer would only confirm her suspicions. She had been wary of him since their last kiss, which had been hours ago. Even though it felt like days had passed. She didn't say anything of it, but that was all he needed to know. If she wasn't talking, something was up.

He was suddenly in front of her door. Standing alone in the hallway, in his black sweats and tattered t-shirt. His green eyes staring blankly at the smooth metal surface of her door. He didn't have to knock.

It slid open with a hiss, the light from the hall pouring into her otherwise dark room. Raven was sitting on her bed, her legs crossed and her eyes closed. He wondered if he had interrupted her meditating, but she said nothing as he crossed the room towards her.

He could see her chest rise and fall as she took calming breaths, lulling him into a false sense of security. If she figured out he liked her, she wouldn't be calm - she would be livid. Maybe he was just being paranoid?

His eyes traveled back to her face as he cautiously climbed into her bed, and he swore his heart stopped when he realized her violet irises were staring back at him.

Awkward couldn't even begin to describe the silence that settled between them.

Beast Boy continued to slowly settle himself in her bed, though his gaze never left hers. She didn't look upset, nor angry. Not even annoyed, really. Her face was placid, and her eyes were blank. If anything, she looked a little confused. And maybe that was a good thing? Maybe she couldn't figure out what it was that he was feeling; maybe his secret was still safe.

"Your aura's off."

Or not.

Beast Boy couldn't even hide his horrified surprise as he continued staring at his teammate, unsure of what to say. Of course his aura was off - his heart was breaking! He felt used and betrayed and embarrassed - it wasn't his fault he couldn't muster up his usual happiness. If anything, it was her fault.

"Sorry?" he replied insincerely.

Raven regarded him skeptically as she lowered herself onto the bed beside him, her legs still crossed. She looked calm - a good sign - but Beast Boy was still wary.

"Are you..." she seemed to be struggling for the right thing to say, which was totally uncommon, "...okay?"

No.

No, he most definitely wasn't okay. But he had come to terms with that awhile ago. So, instead of lying, or even admitting it, he merely shrugged.

A foreign look of concern passed across Raven's face; something Beast Boy found oddly comforting.

"Are you upset about... something?" she asked hesitantly.

Still opting neither to confirm nor deny, the changeling shrugged once more.

"Is..." she began timidly, fleetingly breaking eye contact, "Is it about Starfire?"

Beast Boy couldn't even find the energy to be annoyed with her, and instead mulled over her question. The latest update on their alien friend consisted of good news, though he could hear the worry in Robin's voice. So far, her condition had been improving, and the healers on her planet even had an idea of what her illness was, though they hadn't made a proper diagnosis. So, the titans weren't necessarily relieved, but they did feel a bit better.

So, no; he wasn't upset about Starfire - but that was a good excuse.

"Kinda?" he replied, his voice rising an octave, though Raven didn't seem to notice.

Instead, she tilted her head to the side, silently urging him to elaborate.

Letting out a labored sigh, Beast Boy attempted to sound convincing. "Like, I'm glad she's feeling better, but it seems a little too good to be true, you know?" he admitted, feeling genuinely surprised at how genuine he was sounding. In fact, he wasn't even lying about that. Starfire getting better was throwing him for a loop.

"I know what you mean," Raven agreed, startling the changeling from his thoughts. "But, it makes sense; if it's an alien illness, who better to cure it than the residents of her alien planet?"

Beast Boy nodded in agreement, though his mind was slowly drifting back to his own problems. Here Raven was, conversing with him like normal; like they were just two friends, worrying about their teammate's health.

And, bitterly, he realized that that was exactly what Raven thought they were. It was what they were supposed to be.

But, like everything else in his life, Beast Boy had to go and screw it all up.

"Good point," he replied halfheartedly, feeling his energy drain as his mind went over all the events of the day. He hadn't ever felt so elated, and then so downtrodden all in the same day - it was exhausting.

"Well," he began lazily, mentally noting that Raven had been about to say something, but not concerning himself with it, "I'm off to bed - training was pretty brutal." He then climbed out of her bed, again ignoring her confused expression as he headed towards her door. "Hopefully we get more good news in the morning! Night, Rae."

The door had barely hissed open when Raven found her voice.

"Wha-? Where are you going?" she asked, her monotone wavering ever so slightly.

Cursing under his breath, Beast Boy slowly turned back around, feigning nonchalance. "I'm about to hit the hay, Rae," he answered, smiling at his rhyme while ignoring the way her brows knitted in bewilderment.

"But..?" she began, obviously at a loss for words.

"But, what?" Beast Boy asked, again smiling at his unintentional rhyme. "I'm completely exhausted, dude! And when that happens, most people find sleeping to be the best course of action!"

He tried to tell himself it wasn't satisfaction that he felt as Raven's face morphed between confusion and disappointment. After all, that wasn't a very friendly thing to feel.

"I thought you would..." He hadn't ever heard her so completely frazzled to the point where she couldn't even form a proper sentence, but he realized he kinda liked having that power.

"Thought I would, what?" he pressed, casually leaning against her door frame.

Raven continued to stare at him blankly, and he felt as if he could see the wheels turning in her head. She hadn't ever experienced him doing the disappointing, and a small sense of pride filled his chest. Despite feeling bad about what he was doing, he couldn't hide his self-satisfied smile. It was about time the tables had turned.

"Never mind," Raven replied dully, finally breaking eye contact as she pulled her covers over her lap. "Goodnight, Beast Boy."

Now having to tell himself it wasn't regret that filled his core, Beast Boy shot his teammate a soft smile, before exiting her room.

Waking up in his own bed was strange, though oddly comforting at the same time. He had slept pretty well, and even experienced a few pleasant dreams, though they all involved Raven.

But he decided not to dwell on his aching heart so early in the morning, and hurriedly changed into his uniform. He couldn't remember if they had morning training today, and figured that it was best to get up and check. But, as his door slid open and he stepped into the hall, he was immediately pushed back into his room.

Confused, startled, and mildly amused, he watched as Raven's face twisted into a look of annoyance as the door hissed behind them. But before he could ask what she was doing, he found that his lips were suddenly preoccupied.

Raven kissed him forcibly, clinging to the front of his uniform with one hand while the other tightly gripped his hair. Worried that she was about to give him a bald spot on the back of his head, Beast Boy tried to pull away, but found the smaller girl was surprisingly strong.

It was then that he noticed they were moving backwards, towards his bed, and he barely had time to brace himself as he fell onto it with Raven on top of him.

He couldn't say that he wasn't enjoying what was happening - in fact, he was really enjoying it. Knowing that Raven needed him filled him with hope, though the fact that she didn't necessarily want him diminished it quite a bit.

As that thought bounced around in his head, Beast Boy again tried to break the kiss, but was still met with difficulty. In fact, he was barely able to get out a muffled "Rae?" when the empath began to tug at his uniform.

A sense of urgency washed over Beast Boy as he felt Raven's hands fiddle with the clasp of his uniform, and he finally found the willpower to push her away. She was still on top of him, though their lips were no longer connected, and he could finally breathe. And ask what the hell was going on.

"What are you doing?" he questioned shrilly, his shock blatantly apparent on his face.

Raven stared at him with wide eyes, as if she were as confused as him. "I... I don't know," she admitted, lying limply against his arms as he continued to hold her up.

That much was obvious, though the green titan was wise enough not to say that out loud. It seemed as though Raven was surrendering to her emotions, and had momentarily stepped back while they took the reins.

"Am I pushing you too far?" she asked, concern barely visible in her eyes as a placid expression slipped over her face.

He wasn't sure if she was - he couldn't deny that he liked where this was potentially heading, but he also knew it wouldn't be fair to either of them if he let it continue.

"Kinda..?" he admitted, his face flushing slightly. "I mean, this was really unexpected, so early in the morning. I haven't even brushed my teeth yet..."

"I noticed," Raven deadpanned, causing his face to turn redder. A few moments of awkward silence passed between them, before Raven pulled herself off of him, and opted to instead sit beside him. "You can go brush them, and I'll wait here," she suggested with a shrug.

Knowing that that wasn't the reason he was feeling uncomfortable, Beast Boy hesitated. Yesterday's kiss was still fresh in his mind, as was the hurt, and he couldn't set it aside. But he also knew he couldn't stand aside and watch Raven struggle with her power. Nor could he willingly pass up kissing her - especially when she was in a mood like this.

The whole situation was entirely unfair, and he felt anger pool in his stomach, though it wasn't directed towards her. He wanted to say no, but he wanted to say yes. It was frustrating and confusing and unbelievably hard. And it didn't help that she just sat there innocently, her wide, amethyst eyes blinking patiently as she waited for him to act. He hated how she hadn't a clue of what was going on in his head - how she was respectful enough not to invade his thoughts and emotions, and instead sit there, unaware of the inner turmoil she was causing him. Unaware that he couldn't decide whether he hated her or loved her.

Unaware that he wasn't sure which was worse.

Soooo... I have gotten countless PMs asking me if I'm still alive... and sadly, no. I am not. I have died. I won't go into details, but it has indeed happened. I am dead. That's why I've taken so long to update - I had to learn how to manipulate my ghostly energies into being able to open my laptop and type - a tiring feat, I might add. It's really hard to push the shift key and a letter at the same time, and editing is basically out of the question, since the mouse pad is basically useless. I have just barely mastered not falling through my floor, so I'm actually pretty impressed with how far I've gotten. Being a ghost is kinda cool.

On a more serious note, life just kinda happened, you know? I moved across the state with my boyfriend, which meant new city, new apartment, new job, and new friends, so I haven't had the mindset to type, since so much has been going on. But I've finally found some spare time, and I'm gonna try to be more consistent with my updates! I'm really sorry this has taken so long! Forgive me? :3

I'm also sorry this chapter was so short - I had to reread my story to remember where I was even going with this lol. But I figured something was better than nothing, so... yeah...

If you don't hate me completely, maybe leave a review? :)