AN: My dear lovely readers, I'm so, so sorry for the long wait. Real life kept tripping me up as they say and I hope I haven't lost too many of you during my dry spell. Unfortunatly it looks like this is what it's going to be like from now on, being a college junior is hard and this last semester was pretty rough (if you'd really like to hear the whole story you may check out my profile) but it a nut shell it was long and hard but it bears fruit! I promised myself I would update this before Christmas and here we go its Chritsmas Eve (well it is in my time zone XD) so this is my gift to you, please enjoy the next chapter of Ice and Snow, I only wish is was longer to make up for the wait.
I don't own Rayearth or any other Clamp works I may mention, too bad though if I did I wouldn't have to worry about this whole college thing now would I?
p.s. Please forgive any grammer mistakes, I did edit but it is 12:00am and I have to work tomorrow (eegads I work in retail on Christmas Eve, shoot me now!) so if some slipped by let me know and I'll try to correct them at a later time, now enjoy the story.
18. Snowscape
"It's a powerful feeling isn't it? A hurt so strong it can make you break."
~Freya; Chobits
"Camry?" Eagle called his warm breath fogging in the cold night air, his cloak snapping around him as he stepped out into the heavily falling snow.
The elder man was not far from him, leaning on the railing, the harsh wind whipping his hair and clothes about with its sharp fingers. He was still bloodied from the fight, his tattered cloak also tossed about in the wind, heaving a heavy breath he turned to him.
"Sorry to interrupt but we do have some unfinished business to attend to. A bit better to do this in person I suppose, the girls got the jump on me earlier. I was busy paying attention to you and forgot to keep an eye on myself." Camry chuckled dryly and Eagle wondered just how much this man must have gone though to be able to joke in such a manor. Then again he'd just spent a good deal of his time lightheartedly teasing Umi, perhaps the two of them were more similar than he'd first thought.
"I was just pondering the matter myself, though I find myself no better at remembering my dream. I only remember the feeling of it…" Eagle paused and shrugged, shaking loose the dusting of snow that had already gathered upon his shoulders. "Though if you feel the need to discuss this further may we do so out of this horrid weather?" He stepped back and gestured, inviting Camry to follow him inside.
Once both men were within Eagle quietly shut the doors behind him, locking them to keep out the snow, among other things. Camry was busy raking the snow from his pale hair with his long ungloved fingers and then he shoved his gloves he'd just pulled off into his pant pocket. With a soft clicking sound he unlatched his burgundy cloak and laid it over the arm of the chair he sat down in.
Eagle threw his cloak over the back of his chair, careful not to make much noise as he settled himself down, glancing quickly at the sleeping Umi to make sure they hadn't woke her.
"She must have been tired." Camry commented, also giving the sleeping water knight a quick glance. "I was surprised you were awake still."
"I might have joined her soon if I hadn't sensed your presence." Eagle sighed heavily pouring himself another cup of milk to warm his cold fingers, his brief moment outside had chilled him considerably. "Would you like some?" he offered Camry.
"No thank you. I don't need to eat or drink but I appreciate the offer." Camry gazed across the table at the young man in front of him. His golden eyes were tired, dark circles were already starting to show, but Camry knew Eagle was more than just physically tired.
His heart was tired as well as his mind and body, his soul uneasy and restless. These things were easy for Camry to see, for one restless soul often recognizes another.
After a moment of silence he spoke again, "You said you remembered the feeling of your dream? What is it like?" Camry questioned him.
Eagle threaded his fingers though his hair, an unpleasant expression crossing his handsome face. "I know there's snow in my dream, a lot of snow." Amber eyes flicked over to the window and the falling snow for a moment, "I can hear voices…and I think one of them is calling me. She sounds so desperate, as if something terrible is about to happen…" at this his gaze went back to Umi.
Camry didn't miss the fact he labeled the voice as 'she', as if he knew the person. "So you hear the water knight calling you?" he pressed further.
Eagle glanced back at him for a moment and then to Umi, "Yes…and then I feel this heaviness, like…" Eagle struggled to find the words that could voice the emotion, "Like, a sadness so heavy it makes you feel like breaking…It just permeates everything, all my senses become so overwhelmed by it…" He stood feeling an intense need to be by Umi's side "There's another voice that keeps trying to warn me…and I think something terrible is going to happen, but I don't know if I'm the one in danger or…" he sat down reaching over to lightly touch Umi's cheek. She murmured in her sleep as a smile flittered across her features.
Camry smiled, his eye soft, "Do you love her?"
"Yes." Eagle said quietly, nothing more, nothing less, just a pure, honest answer.
"Even though she's not from your world?" He questioned.
Eagle had the strangest sense of déjà vu as the words came unbidden from his lips, "I love her, even though we're from different worlds."
Standing himself Camry went and leaned against the wall opposite of the two, "You'd die for her?" Camry smiled again already knowing the other man's answer.
Eagle glanced up, "If it came to that, then yes."
"But would you live for her?" Camry locked eyes with him.
Eagle seemed a bit confused by his question, but pondered it a moment. "Hikaru once told me that you shouldn't die for the people you love because it leaves a heavy scar on the ones that are left behind. Though, I can't help but feel that if it was my life or hers I would try to save her, even if it meant losing my own. But if there was a way for us both to live I would try everything within my ability to do so."
Camry nodded gently, he'd hoped to hear something along those lines from this young man. "Meeting her and the others, the other knights and all of your friends here, meeting them has changed you greatly and that's a very good thing."
"Why is that?" Eagle turned to gaze up at him.
"Because the easiest and most natural way to change the future is to change yourself and it is the people we meet that change us the most." Camry strode forward quickly closing the distance between them, "You'll have to forgive me." He raised his arm with outstretched hand as if he were going to push something.
"What…?" Eagle barely managed to utter before suddenly his eyes became heavy. His body felt like lead as he tired to keep his eyes open but he was quickly losing the battle against the spell Camry had cast.
"Sleep." Camry said quietly and that was the last thing Eagle heard before he lost consciousness. He slumped over and fell by Umi's side, his breathing deep and steady.
"I'm sorry." Camry spoke even though Eagle could no long hear him. He pulled his gloves out and slid them back onto his hands, "I wish that just this one night you're dreams could be peaceful but I'm afraid they can't. You have to remember and in truth you haven't been able to because there's a part of you that just doesn't want to know."
Maroon eyes drifted over the two of them and he smiled, the corner of his eyes wrinkling with his age, "But I'm sure you'll be alright." Throwing his cloak over his shoulder Camry walked out the doors again into the falling snow and disappeared into the night.
o o o
Snow is falling.
Slow and silent.
Painting the world in white.
I've never felt anything this heavy. This deep, this strong…it falls though me like the snow. It fills my soul… it freezes me like ice, this sadness. Such a heavy thing, this sadness, so heavy… It's cold, like ice…like death.
I've never felt anything like it.
A sadness that seeps into everything.
Pure snow, white snow, white snow with blue shadows, almost as blue as her eyes.
But now the white is turning red…. Red marring such pure white, dropping, falling, blooming in the snow. Watching each drop fall I can't help but think they look like small flowers opening.
It hurts, it hurts so badly. My body screams in agony, a searing, burning pain.
But…
There is another pain that is far, far harder to endure…
I feel it as I tumble downward into the snow, now murky and swilling with blood, the argent, inexplicable pang of loss that permeates even the darkness that's beginning to fall over me.
"No more time…"
"Eagle?! Eagle!" Her painful shrieks follow me down…
…into darkness.
"I need more time…"
"…you can't save her. For her wish…was to sacrifice everything…"
"…even though she would never by your side again."
"Eagle, you can't save her…" Camry's voice echoed…
Jerking awake in a cold sweat Eagle gasped clutching at his shoulder, the pain from his dream lingering like a bad memory. It was a miracle his sudden movement hadn't woken Umi. He lay gasping, his body trembling in terror. After a moment he finally reined in his racing pulse rate, swallowing down his fear. Sitting up his fingers dug deep into the mattress beneath him, 'That dream, so much more real this time.'
Taking a deep breath he eased himself out of bed. Standing he pulled the cover up around Umi's shoulders, leaning over he gently caressed her forehead with his lips, careful not to wake her. Lingering for a moment he nuzzled into her hair, their previous conversation coming to mind.
"I'm not going anywhere Umi"
"You can't promise that…"
"Yes I can."
"I promise." He breathed, some of his warm breath stirring a few strands of her cerulean hair. He brushed them back and stood.
Stretching he reached for his cloak and glove gem; the sun hadn't even began to rise yet.
o o o
In spite of all rumors and gossip to the contrary Lantis did not have ice water for blood. Hikaru being perhaps the person to know this best of all; that despite the cail's rather rigid exterior and cool, keen gaze there was kindness and a passion for life just beneath the surface. In fact it might surprise most to learn that the man was like a furnace, literally.
Hikaru yawned softly, kicking her covers away in an attempt to cool herself. The amount of body heat her beloved knight radiated was usually a comfort on such cool mornings but not this morning. Her tiny frame went taunt for a moment as she stretched and then ever so elusively slid from his grasp.
Not an easy task mind you.
Actually she was stunned she'd woken before him that was a rare thing indeed. He was nearly always up before her; he must have been tired from the fighting the previous night.
Thinking of the battle made her think of Camry. She'd been worried about him all night, after losing Solara she really didn't think it was a good idea for him to be alone right now, even if it was to grieve for his loved one.
How she wished they could have done something for her, if only they could just…She stopped herself then realizing her train of thought was exactly what Impreza must have thought to get her to the path she was on now.
Quickly changing clothes and sliding her glove gem onto her hand Hikaru couldn't help but wonder what it would mean if you could bring someone back from the dead. Solara, her sister Sentra, Camry's daughter, even Princess Emeraude and Zagoto what if they could all come back? But what then? What then would it mean to die? Does dying mean anything at all if it isn't so permnate? Does living mean anything if it doesn't ever end?
These questions and many more rattled through her head as quietly slipped out the door into the hallway.
Lantis lifted his head up as she left gazing after her; he'd been awake all along.
Hikaru meandered down the hallway in no direction in particular, letting her feet guide her. After a few moments of wandering she returned to the garden room they'd fought in the previous night. It was an amazing thing what will power could do, if used in a positive manor, it looked pristine, as if nothing had happened, except now a heavy dusting of snow covered the greenery.
Predawn light filtered though the vast open ceiling, the breeze that blew in was sharp and crisp. The redhead glanced up finding it strange that the sun still hadn't risen and that it was so cold, the seasons seems to have turned inside out of late, the whole ordeal made her feel uneasy.
The reflection of something shinny or metallic caught her eye and she took a few steps into the room to investigate and found Camry sitting upon the edge of the frozen fountain. His pearly, iridescent glove gems had been the item that caught the fading moonlight.
"Camry?"
He raised his head, his cloak shifting dislodging some of the snow from his shoulders; he must have been sitting there a long time. "Good morning little Fire Knight." He smiled for her but it didn't reach his eyes.
"Hikaru" she said, stressing her name as she pronounced it, crossing her arms looking at him expectantly.
He grinned and this time it touched his eyes, "Good morning, Hikaru" he stressed the syllables of her name in a playful tone.
She smiled, "Much better!" She tromped over to him though the snow drifts; unfortunately for her the snow hid something in her path. The toe of her boot caught it; she tripped with a yelp and fell face forward into a snow drift.
Among her sputtering and squealing at the cold snow she heard Camry laugh and his boots crunched through the snow towards her, before she could even begin to dig her way out of the snow two large strong hands reached down and scooped her up as if she were a small child.
Her feet dangled in the air for a brief second, Camry was just about Eagle's height and it was very easy for him to haul up the petite girl, and then he set her down upon the stone fountain edge.
He was smiling at her, in amusement at her mishap, but there was a tenderness that swirled in his maroon colored gaze, it reminded her a bit of the way her older brothers would gaze at her, but not exactly, for sadness tinted the edges of his eyes and smile. She was starting to think it was there because of her, for it always intensified when she became the focus of his attention.
"Camry?"
"Hum?" He answered tilting his head to the side.
"Why do you look so sad when you see me?"
Camry's gaze turned downward for a moment, he took a deep breath, and "You remind me of my daughter."
"Oh…" Hikaru's eyes became wide and she looked away, "I'm sorry."
"No, don't say that." Camry reached up and held her face so she would look at him, "When I see you I think of how Avalon might have been, if she'd been able to grow and love and be loved. I would like to think she would have been a happy, cheerful girl, like you. I'm not sad that you remind me of Avalon it's just…I miss her a great deal. She use to run in the snow and laugh as a child, it's why I'm fond of the snow and just now as you came to meet me…" his voice trailed off. He smiled when he spoke again, "Don't let it bother you. There are more important things at hand."
He turned plowing a trail threw the snow, "Shall we?"
They made their way to the archway where Lantis waited for them.
o o o
Umi woke alone. At first she became very worried, for the last time this had happened she'd awoke to find Eagle missing and taken prisoner. But she needn't worry, she found him outside on the balcony standing in the snow. She pulled her heavy blue fur lined cloak over her shoulders and opened the glass doors to call him in, "Eagle?" She hovered just inside the open door, her bare feet protesting the cold.
He didn't answer her at first; his gaze seemed locked on some distant point. He was heavily armored with the strange sharp angled armor from Autozam that glinted gold in the sunlight, but on his hand was the gem Presea had given him a subtle sign that he was now much more than a solider of Autozam.
"Eagle?" she called again quietly and this time he stirred.
"It's so quiet." He turned his gaze to her and then back to the distant horizon. His voice was soft, melancholy coloring its tone.
"Yes," she joined him, ignoring the bite of snow on her toes as she stepped outside, "the snow always seems to bring silence with it."
She walked to his side, standing shoulder to shoulder with him. His pale hands gripped the railing before him, amber eyes swirling like hot molten gold. "Did you have that dream again?" She could feel his uneasiness and assumed something troubled him.
His hands tightened upon the railing, twisting around the metal bar, lips set in a thin line.
"Is that a yes?" She glanced at him knowingly.
Sighing he released the rail suddenly and reached for her, taking her hand to guide her back inside. He closed the door, her hand still held firmly in his own. Taking her with him he pulled her down beside him on the edge of his bed. He sighed, hands rubbing his face in worry, "Umi I'm afraid something may happen soon, something horrible, to me…" at this he rubbed his shoulder as if it pained him, "or even to you."
She gazed at him calmly, "Eagle I'm not afraid, I know the risks, I've been in battle before and am willing to place my life on the line. I chose this for myself just as much as you chose to stay and fight for Cephiro and besides…" she stood up once more smiling for him, "Don't you have a promise to keep?"
He smiled wearily, her words a small comfort to him, but they did not completely quell the anxiety that swilled within him.
"Is your dream getting worse?" she questioned sitting back down beside him.
The gaze he slid her way spoke volumes.
"Eagle…" she reached up and traced the small white scar at the corner of his eye.
The young man mulled over his feelings for a moment, he'd never been much on sharing his fears but he felt so overwhelmed by them, if only he could make her understand. He sighed, threading his fingers though his hair in frustration, unable to find any words to voice the feeling of his dream. He stood suddenly and walked away from her pacing the room like a caged bird of prey.
He did seem to Umi like an agitated predator, backed into a corner he couldn't see a clear way out of. She stood, her cloak hanging lose about her shoulders, and walked over to him wrapping her arms around his waist. Nothing was said, she had no answers for him, and so she could only offer him her silence and her support.
His frame remained tense for brief moment before he nearly melted against her his forehead coming down to rest on her shoulder. He embraced her, his own arms winding up gathering her body close to his.
"I sure everything will be alright, I believe in you, so I know everything will be alright." She stroked the back of his head, wondering for a brief moment who he had confided in before they had become close like this. Lantis most likely, but he'd only known Lantis for a few years at most, who had he gone to as a very young man?
She'd heard about some of Autozam's history from Clef and even some of what Lantis had shared with Hikaru. The civil war that had torn it apart when Eagle could have been no more than a child and the loss of his mother he'd spoken of. His father vying for power during the revolution and finally winning the presidency.
He'd probably been piloting a mecha since he was old enough to reach the controls it was no wonder that he had become so ill, that he'd given so much of himself that he'd begun to slip away by the time he left to journey to Cephiro.
She often wondered how her classmates back in Tokyo could worry about the petty things they did, how they thought their lives were so horrible because they felt over stressed at school, or because their parents wouldn't buy them the things they wanted; their boyfriend wasn't paying enough attention to them.
She had once been just like them but having been though battle, seeing war for how horrible it truly is, to watch people die around her, it had changed her a great deal. In some ways it had made her a better person but it also robbed her and the other knights of a great deal. A kind of innocence they could never get back.
Thinking about it now she realized just how much she hadn't understood at the time, if she had met Eagle just a few years ago before she had became a Magic Knight, how strange he would have seemed, she doubted she would have understood him.
That she would have realized how a heavy a mere twenty years can be.
Eagle nuzzled into her warm hair, her slender fingers still stroked his hair, temporarily quieting the demons within him. He sighed lifting his head from her shoulder to meet her gaze; resting his forehead against hers he searched her eyes. "I'm glad you came into my room that day, I would have never had the strength to do what is about to be asked of me, I doubt I would have even woken up from my coma."
She smiled, "Oh I have no doubt you would have eventually though you would have taken your sweet time." Tying her arms around his neck she teased him gently, her tone soft and playful, trying to lighten his mood.
She was rewarded for her efforts by a light chuckle. "I suppose…" he glanced out the window for a second, briefly wondering if it was heavily overcast, for the sun had yet to penetrate the clouds.
Umi frowned because he seemed to be worrying again. Gently touching his cheek she brought his eyes back to her. "Why don't you keep your eyes on what's in front of you, in there here and now; leave the rest of that for when the time comes."
Standing on her toes she reached up and stole a gentle kiss. Though when she went to pull away she found that she could not. His arms were secured tightly around her waist and kept her from withdrawing.
He released her lips from his for only a second before covering her mouth again.
His kiss was quite different from their previous ones, not the gentle sweetness of their first, nor the playful, passionate one of the previous night. It was long and slow and burned hot, filled with his growing fear; it tasted of desperation and hunger, as if he wished to draw every part of her in close to him.
Umi felt her blood pulse though her, her heart thudding so loud she swore he could probably hear it.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
With some ire she suddenly realized it was someone knocking on the door and Eagle ignored it for several knocks until finally she broke away from him a little unwillingly, kissing the corner of his lips to stop the beginnings of a frown. She smiled at him and headed for the door, by this time the knocking had stopped and she swung open the door and Caldina nearly fell to the floor from her crouching place next to it where she'd been trying to eaves drop.
Umi shot her a reproachful glare.
LaFarga seemed mildly amused by the woman's antics but he had far more serious matters to deal with. "I'm sorry for intruding but the carrier S-class ships from Autozam are about to arrive and Ascots' reported of a great deal of movement in the north. We have refugees pouring in as well and once the Autozaman ships have been unloaded we're having a meeting in the throne room."
"Alright, we'll head to the docking bay soon" Eagle came up behind Umi just as Caldina scrambled to her feet and took her place beside LaFarga.
LaFarga nodded and turned to leave, Caldina leaned forward real quick and jabbed Umi gently with her elbow, "When we're all done with this fightin' business, you come to me; I'll fix ya up with something nice from Chizata. You've gotta wear something impressive for times like that!"
"Like what…?" Umi asked confused.
"You know…"Caldina teased raising her eyebrow as if she smelled a scandal. "So you can finish properly what you were doing before LaFarga interrupted." Caldina shot her love a glare as he walked back down the hall.
"Eh?" Umi blinked and then suddenly realized what she was insinuating and thought briefly that she understood what Fuu must have felt like when she and Hikaru teased her about Feiro spending the night in her room. She felt a blush creep across her face, down her neck and across her chest. "We'll be there in a bit" she managed to spit out without stuttering and shut the door.
She turned back around to find Eagle with a hand clamped over his mouth trying not to laugh, turning red himself from trying to hold back. He'd heard every word.
Twitch.
Twitch
Eagle lost out and began to laugh uncontrollably at the sight of her, doubling over because he could hardly breathe.
"Uuugh!" Umi shrieked and threw her robe at him, "I'm going to change!" She stomped off into the other room as Eagle fought to untangle himself from her robe, still laughing.
o o o
Fuu and Feiro stood upon the edge of the docking platform, watching the Autozaman cargo and battleships come into view. Autozam being the closest country was arriving first with Chizata and Fahren to arrive in the next day or so. The palace was a buzz with the hum of preparations to accommodate soldiers and refugees.
Fuu squinted into the distance, peering into the murky light. She had a terribly uneasy feeling in her stomach, it was well into the morning now and the sun had still yet to rise. "I just don't understand why it's staying like this; it's not even like the darkness that was here when we came back for the first time."
"I don't know. I've never seen anything like it either." Feiro also squinted into the mute light.
"I doubt that you have, nor will you ever again, if this all turns out well." Camry strode in the docking area with Lantis and Hikaru just a step behind him.
"Why hasn't the sun rose yet?" Hikaru asked.
"Because time is not flowing properly anymore and it won't again until Impreza had been stopped. Though not all of this is her doing." Camry took a few more steps the edge of the platform.
"You mean someone else is also interfering?" Umi questioned from the doorway, Eagle on her heels, now in full armor as well.
"In an indirect manor yes. I've spoken of it once before, he shares a wish like Impreza's so he has helped her attain some of the power she now holds. The mechanical soldiers you fought before were his doing as well as the winged parasite that infested Eagle and Sentra. He has no real care in helping Impreza but the chaos that would ensue if she succeeded in making Cephiro and its neighboring countries collapse would be of some help to his goal."
"This is the person you spoke of that wants to collapse everything?" Fuu questioned.
Camry nodded.
"So basically you're saying that even if we deal with Impreza she isn't the main source and we'll have someone else to deal with?" Eagle questioned, glaring suspiciously at Camry, since he'd pulled that stunt of putting him to sleep the night before.
Camry refrained from grinning but then became serious again, "No, Impreza is our main problem the rest is in the hands of someone else. I'm sure they'll be alright so let us focus on the task at hand."
The group stood upon the edge of the platform together, a sharp cool winding filling the vast area and it began to snow once more. Eagle clasped Umi's hand in his larger one, his warmth a comfort. Hikaru hung upon Lantis' arm her red braid snapping in the wind and Fuu simply stood by Feiro's side, his hand on her shoulder. Camry stood to the side as they all gazed ahead into the sky as the ships began to dock and instead of seeing the sun on the horizon they saw only the loom of war.
AN: Well no battle just yet but it looms on the horizion so to speak, and due to the face it's taking me many months now to update chatpers I will be sure to keep my profile up to date so you can know how close I am to an update or if you must really have up to date info just PM me, I love hearing from everyone, each review you give is the best encouragement anyone could ask for. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all.
VKiera