Later today on the Chuck Heston mini-mini-disaster movie—it began as just another day on the job of a twenty-seven floor government construction job until suddenly...
Damn! I forgot to bring my lunch. I have to go get it. I'll be back in 4 hours.
Actually Chuck...Chuck?
Samantha Fox, Redd Foxx, Fantastic Mr. Fox and Steve the claustrophobic elevator operator star in…"Dante's Meal Ticket". Be there!
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Later today on the Chuck Heston mini-disaster movie—it began as just another day in the recording studio until suddenly...
Oh darn! I'm suddenly speaking like I belong in Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. I need to regain the use of expletives and insults. Please, enlist me in the navy as soon as you are able.
Actually Chuck, you're still reading from a script. You can talk any way...
Be silent I implore you! I was once employed as an alter boy. Don't require me to give you a list of references. Oh, speaking like this is making my tummy upset...
Yes sir. (shuffling papers)
Thank you (scribbling sounds)…that's it...signed up for four years…Damn I need to get to a bar! About (bleep)ing time!
Dennis Leary, Bob Keeshaw, Lenny Bruce and Carl the anorexic elephant star in "Dante's Viewer Discretion". Be there!
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Later today on the Chuck Heston mini-disaster movie—it began as just another day at the Academy Awards until suddenly...
Damn! I got passed over for the Harland Williamson Memorial Award again!
But Chuck, that's a posthumous award. You're not eligible...
Silence you malodorous gnome! I was the manager for Starland Vocal Band. Don't force me to play "Afternoon Delight" on your ass! Now give me a Vulcan nerve pinch to simulate death. I'll get the nomination for sure!
Yes sir…(vise noise)
A little higher...ouch, my eye...no...wait! Little Chuck just got happy. Remember that spot!
Spike Lee, Herman Wouk, Alan Smithee and Lynette the deadpan bedpan star in "Dante's Nomination". Be there!
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Later today on the Chuck Heston mini-disaster movie—it began as just another day at the studio until suddenly...
Damn! I'm surrounded by strange-looking talking animals. I've got to somehow look like I belong on their planet.
Actually Chuck, this is the "Muppet Show". You're this week's guest..
Silence you pompous pinwheel pusher! Shove your hand up my posterior and make me lip-sync poorly to old show tunes.
But Chuck, you're not...
Damn it! I used to be a Good Humor man. Don't force me to show you new uses for old Popsicle sticks.
Yes sir.
That's it...ouch...cue the orchestra...ouch...everyone now..."Midnight...ouch...not a sound from the..."
Tiny Tim, Andre the Giant, Teri Garr and Jerki the extra-hairy coconut star in "Dante's Hand Signal". Be there!