Later today on the Chuck Heston mini-disaster movie—it began as just another day at the studio until suddenly…
Saying I'm what idea no has partner recording My. Language foreign a in speaking I'm Damn!
Actually Chuck, that's not a foreign language. You're reading the script backward.
Direction other the in points it so around head my turn, Quickly. Thought I than worse its Backwards? Pool gene human the of dregs remaining you Silence!
Come on Chuck, just turn the paper over.
Ass your on topographical get to me force don't! maps draw to used I. It Damn!
Yes sir. Let me get a grip.
(Sounds of grunting, creaking) That's it, I can talk normally again! Its certainly a different view. (Farting sound) Damn, now I can REALLY smell my own poo gas!
Heston Chuck, Blake Robert, Hessman Howard and Sirhan Sirhan star in…"Dante's Palindrome". Be there!
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Later today on the Chuck Heston mini-disaster movie—it began as just another day at KOLD until suddenly...
(Sounds of commercials running simultaneously) Damn! I've got two voices going at once. I must be speaking in tongues!
Actually Chuck, that's just a glitch in the new computer system...
Silence, you oozing bag of blandness! Quickly, grab this vial of holy water and annoint me before I spew projectile vomit on the controls.
But that's a flower vase...
Damn it! I used to play a proctologist. Don't force me to make a special appointment for you!
Okay. (splashing sounds)
That's it. I can feel Satan leaving me…my voice is clear again. And I smell lavender fresh too!
Chuck Heston, the Osmond brothers, Father Guido Sarduchi and Pointy the rugged cross-stitch star in…"Dante's Jukebox of Satan". Be there!
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Later today on the Chuck Heston mini-disaster movie—it began as just another day in the shopping mall until suddenly…
Damn! I must be suffering from memory loss! I don't remember any of these people's faces.
Actually Chuck, this is a public appearance. You've never met any of these…
Silence you flabby intestinal parasite! I've read that intense pain can cancel out the effects of the affliction. Quickly, flog me with that shopping bag!
But I don't think…
Damn it! I used to work at International House of Pancakes. Don't force me to serve my "pig in a blanket" special!
Yes sir…(paper whacking sounds)
That's it…I'm starting to remember now…you look familiar…wait…now I remember, we did this last week!
Chuck Heston, Julia Child, Julia Roberts and Kingston the seven-foot jockey star in…"Dante's Autograph Session". Be there!
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Later today on the Chuck Heston mini-disaster movie—it began as just another day on the street until suddenly…
Damn! I've been stuck in this traffic for hours. Move that trailer out of the way you lard-butts! There must be an accident with this many people standing and looking.
Actually Chuck, you're in a parade and that's the Orphan's Home float ahead of us.
Silence you dilapidated ogre! Quickly, drive along the side of the road while I clear traffic with my siren sound.
I don't think…
Damn it! I starred in Soylent Green. Don't force me to have you for dinner!
Yes sir. (Squealing tires sound)
That's it, over to the side…(Chuck making a siren) breeeEEEEEEeeeeeee …breeEEEEEeeeeee…(thunk sound)…wait, what's a tuba doing on the hood of our car?
Chuck Heston, George Kennedy, Miss America and Hank the perky drum major star in…"Dante's Review Stand". Be there!