Later today on the Chuck Heston mini-disaster movie, it began as just another day on the farm until suddenly…
Damn! The pilot light has gone out on my cow. I've got to get it relit quickly.
Come on Chuck, cows don't have pilot lights…
Silence you sad excuse for used alfalfa! I have a degree in animal husbandry. Don't force me to show you my techniques on your ass! Now hand me that lighter.
I'm getting out of here…
Fine! I'll just do it myself. Now stand still Bossy while I get you going again… (flick…flick…FOOOOOOOM)…ah, my eyebrows are gone! What's this hoof doing stuck in my forehead?
Farmer John, Acme Dairy, James Harriot and Heather the Love Bovine star in "Dante's BBQ Chuck Steak". Be there!
...
Later today on the Chuck Heston mini-disaster movie, it began as just another day on the school grounds until suddenly…
Rats! Someone has messed up the steps on the slide. Now I won't be able to climb to the top.
Uh Chuckie, you're looking at the wrong side. The steps are over here…
Shut up! My mom's bringing cupcakes Friday. Don't make me have her drop yours.
Go away Chuckie, you're weird.
Now I've got to find something else to slide down…maybe these monkey bars. Ow ow ouch! Daddy!
Captain Kangaroo, Big Bird, the cafeteria staff and Patches the first aid clown star in "Dante's Playground". Be there!
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Later today on the Chuck Heston mini-disaster movie, it began as just another day online until suddenly...
Damn! I lost (insert username)'s email he sent me three months ago. Now I've got to chisel his email address in my forehead so I won't forget.
Actually Chuck, its right here in the contacts folder...
Silence you mound of acid reflux discharge! Now swing this hammer while I hold the chisel.
But you can just click on…
Damn it! I was writing letters before you were born. Don't force me to show you how I use my "male server" on your ass!
Yes sir...(pounding of hammer)...that's it…don't forget the sign. Oh wait, you made a typo. Better get the BIG bottle of hydrogen peroxide.
Bill Gates, Bill Mumy, Sandra Dee and Jeffrey the lonely lineman star in…"Dante's Correspondence". Be there!
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Later today on the Chuck Heston mini-disaster movie, it began as just another day online until suddenly...
Damn! Someone is pirating copies of my mini-disaster movies on Napster.
Actually Chuck, it's just someone who sounds like you...
Silence you poor excuse for a sidekick! Now help me file this injunction against file swappers.
But you never actually MADE any of those movies…
Damn it! I know me when I hear me. Now hear me! Don't force me to "log on" your ass!
Yes sir...(filing of paperwork)...that's it…wait, without these comedy bits I don't exist...stop...fading away...
Rich Little, Monet, Jonathan Winters and everyone who sounds like anyone star in…"Dante's Doppleganger". Be there!