The Name Wrapped Around my Throat: Chapter 5
Author's Note: Here's another chapter. It'll probably be the last one this month since The Raven King comes out the 26th and I'm going to be reading and crying about that. Anyway, please let me know what you think.
After getting out of the shower and pulling on a clean pair of boxer-briefs Adam wasted no time going to the door and turning the lock. There were lots of things Adam didn't know about Ronan, but if there was one thing he knew for sure, it was that he couldn't be trusted to listen to directions.
After turning the lock Adam began getting his things together to go to work and then to school. As he pulled on his clothes he let his mind wonder to Ronan's abrupt departure.
It wasn't that Ronan always hung out after Adam woke up, but this had seemed like exactly the kind of night where he would. For one thing, they hadn't seen each other in four days, and while there were times where Adam's work schedule often kept them from seeing much of each other, they usually had a few constant encounters. One was school, which Ronan had skipped twice this week. The other was when Ronan stayed over, giving them some time before bed to talk and often the ride to work or school as well.
Adam usually wouldn't permit the free ride to work and then school, but it was different with Ronan. Ronan wasn't like Gansey who would give him the world while never taking anything in return. Ronan knew how to take.
Adam held the evidence of that as he slid Ronan's half-finished homework into his backpack along with his own. The notebook he'd handed to Ronan the night before held one more sheet of paper, down from the 10 it'd held the night before. Gansey would never have taken all of Adam's paper to make toys for a bird.
But Ronan wasn't afraid to take what Adam gave him. He wasn't afraid to eat one of Adam's power bars in the morning while Adam was in the shower. He didn't hesitate to brush his teeth with the water still running.
Ronan took from Adam, not because he didn't know he was taking, but because he knew Adam was offering. Ronan didn't make Adam feel like he had nothing to give. He made him feel like in some way they had become equals.
So when Ronan offered something to Adam, sometimes, if he felt like things evened out, he'd take it. As of yet the only thing that stood out as not having evened out was Adam's rent payment, but he hoped to someday find a way to even that out too.
Adam found himself ready with a few minutes to spare, having set his alarm accounting for Ronan getting ready to go. He felt tired and cursed the few minutes of lost sleep, but he figured it was better that he be early, rather than late.
He turned to grab his jacket off of his chair, only to see Ronan's leather jacket. Adam stared at it for a second before picking it up, thinking that his would be under it. When it wasn't, he sat Ronan's jacket back down on the chair.
He took a quick look around his room, looking for his jacket even though he knew he'd sat it down on his chair.
Then a thought hit him, 'Did Ronan take my jacket?'
Adam couldn't picture it. Why in the world would Ronan take his jacket? But he knew that was the only explanation.
Adam couldn't help the embarrassment he felt at the thought of Ronan with his jacket. He couldn't be wearing it, right? Not Adam's threadbare jacket, which he hadn't washed in two weeks, and that had a hole in the armpit. God, no.
But he knew Ronan had it. He tried to remind himself that it was okay. He shouldn't be embarrassed when Ronan was the one who stole his jacket. No, the one who traded him jackets.
Adam reminded himself of the looks he'd seen Ronan giving him. The ones that said he was wantable. If Ronan had switched him jackets, it was because he liked the idea, not because he wanted to see if poor people clothing would give him a rash.
Adam finally calmed as he looked at Ronan's jacket again. Was he supposed to wear it? Really it wasn't that cold out. It was a little chilly, but by the time the sun was out for a couple of hours it'd be warm.
But why would Ronan bother leaving the jacket if he hadn't wanted Adam to wear it? And that brought up the question of whether Adam cared what Ronan wanted.
Adam only hesitated a second before picking up the leather jacket and sliding it on. The lining was smooth against his skin and for a moment Adam thought his jacket might be giving Ronan a rash if this was what he was used to.
Adam ran his hand up the smooth leather of the jacket and couldn't help thinking of how expensive the jacket must have been. How much had this cost Ronan? Five hundred dollars? Seven hundred? Over a thousand?
Adam was instantly jealous even as he felt the jacket on his own skin. He wanted to be able to buy things like this. To own them. To pay hundreds of dollars for one article of clothing without even thinking about it.
As his fingers once again trailed down the leather he realized this was one of the most expensive things he'd ever worn, rivaling even his suit. He clenched his hands. He needed to stop thinking about it.
He needed to see himself in the mirror.
It was pure vanity, wanting to see himself in the expensive garment, but he didn't fight it as he went to the bathroom mirror.
When he saw his reflection he almost instantly wished he hadn't looked. His work clothes alone were enough to throw off the look, but it was more than that.
It was him.
The jacket almost fit him in the shoulders, but as he looked down his body the fit only got worse. It was because Adam wasn't filled out, because his ribs still stuck out too far in his chest because he couldn't ever get enough to eat.
He wondered if it was always so obvious to everyone else or if it was only in this jacket, which was meant to fit its owner exactly.
Adam knew he shouldn't feel surprised. Of course this jacket wouldn't fit him, it was made for Ronan. Of course this jacket wouldn't fit him, it was made for someone expensive.
Expensive things like this would always make it glaringly obvious that he couldn't afford them.
He went to take the jacket off before his mind once again went to Ronan. Ronan who hadn't taken his jacket because he cared how it looked on him. Ronan who had to have taken it because it was Adam's.
He forced himself to look in the mirror once more.
The jacket didn't fit him. But it wasn't supposed to. It was supposed to fit Ronan. So what was it supposed to do for Adam?
He thought of it symbolizing a claim on him and immediately frowned. Definitely not that. No one owned him. That was one thing he'd made abundantly clear many times.
So what did it mean?
Maybe the same things Ronan's looks meant. That Adam was worthy. That Ronan wanted to be with him. That Ronan wanted others to know he wanted to be with Adam.
And suddenly it struck Adam that this was the most Ronan piece of clothing that Ronan could have left him. That it screamed Ronan and not Adam.
It wasn't a claim, it was Ronan letting others know what he thought of Adam. That he thought highly of him.
Promptly Adam's opinion on his appearance in mirror changed. Now he saw someone better than himself. Someone who he hoped he'd be someday without an expensive leather jacket on.
He also saw someone who needed to get a move on to make it to work on time.
He quickly left the bathroom and grabbed his bag before hesitating at the door. Did he really want to wear Ronan's jacket?
He left with it on. He'd take it off before he went into work and then give it back to Ronan at school. It's not like he'd have to answer to the person who took his jacket in the first place.
Ronan parked his car in front of 300 Fox Way at 4:30 in the morning. It was still dark outside, but Ronan didn't have anywhere else to go. He'd originally gone back to Monmouth Manufacturing, but upon seeing lights on he'd sent Chainsaw into his room through his thankfully open window before getting back into his car and heading to the Sargent household.
Ronan considered his actions for only a moment before he got out of his car, spare school uniform in hand, and walked up the steps to the house. From there he slowly turned the doorknob and silently swore in joy when it didn't stop.
Ronan snuck silently into the house only to see Calla a foot away from the door.
"Why are you breaking into the house, Snake?" Calla asked as Ronan quietly shut the door behind him.
"Is it really breaking in if the door is unlocked?" Ronan asked, ignoring the way she seemed to regard the hood pulled over his head.
"I don't have time for you this morning. Be prepared when Maura finds out you were in her daughter's room at night," Calla warned before walking past Ronan and into another room.
Ronan didn't bother to wonder why Calla was up and instead hurried up to Blue's room. Once he was there he ducked inside, back facing the room.
"Hey, Maggot! You awake?" Ronan called loudly enough to wake her if she wasn't.
"Ugh, what? Ronan, is that you?" Blue asked. Ronan could hear her shifting in the background.
"Yeah, are you decent?" Ronan asked.
"What are you doing here? It's," Blue paused, Ronan assumed to consult a clock. "4:37 in the morning."
"I need a touch up," Ronan said simply as he turned to face Blue, assuming she was clothed.
"At 4:37 in morning?" Blue asked in a voice that told Ronan she was glaring at him in the dark.
"Gansey was awake when I went back to Monmouth," Ronan explained in an annoyed tone.
"Where were you before that?" Blue asked, her voice still sounding heavy with sleep.
Ronan let out a long strand of annoyed curses before finally ending with, "Adam's, damn, Maggot. Get with it."
"You're even worse to be around in the morning," Blue said before falling back down into her bed. "We can deal with this when the sun is up."
"Fine," Ronan said before plopping down onto the carpeted floor. He put his school uniform on the floor before taking off Adam's jacket and folding it into a pillow.
"You can share the bed if you want," Blue offered just as Ronan lay down.
"I don't share beds," Ronan grunted.
"Fine, if you want to sleep on the uncomfortable floor, then that's your problem," Blue informed him.
"Where do you think I sleep at Adam's?" Ronan retorted.
It was quiet for a few seconds before Blue spoke again, "You sleep on his floor?"
"So what?" Ronan growled out.
Blue laughed.
"You have got it so bad," Blue said in a voice that sounded overly pleased.
Ronan only scoffed in reply.
But as he lie waiting for the time to pass, taking in the scent of motor oil from Adam's jacket, he thought he really couldn't have it any worse.