Hades and Zelena stay at the hospital long enough to make arrangements with the doctor for Rh treatment and then to talk to Regina just long enough to confirm that she is, indeed, pregnant. Upon leaving the hospital, the king of the underworld returns to his domain happily in the company of his daughter and his bride. While an inexplicably cranky Eliana is napping, her mother and father, feeling quite celebratory, cuddle up together in the privacy of their opulent bedchamber and begin reminiscing about the circumstances surrounding both conceptions.
Hades has redecorated his inner sanctum since marrying Zelena, wanting her to have the lavish atmosphere he thinks is worthy of her. He had the finest black and white marble imported from Greece for the floors and support columns, incorporating a mosaic of angels and demons on the ceiling. A crystal chandelier lit the room, highlighting the two wall fountains on either side of the large four-poster bed. Outfitted in layers of black and gold brocade, the bed linens match that of the empire-style chaise sitting at the foot of the bed. And finally, to accommodate Zelena's mortal needs, he had installed a walk-in closet and adjacent bathroom for the two of them.
"You were jealous." She comments, stretched out on the bed in a dress fit for the Queen of Hell. Due to the Underworld's warmer climate, it is constructed out of lightweight black silk chiffon, cut with a hip-high slit and plunging neckline. The top half weaves across her torso and back in a spider web pattern, leaving plenty of warm supple flesh on display. Because Zelena also finds that she enjoys the feeling of cold metal on her skin, she often wears either gold hand bracelets or anklets in the Mediterranean style.
Hades shakes his head as he watches her sample the brie on a cracker he's only just fed her while gazing at the vine of diamonds braided into her hair. "I wasn't exactly… jealous."
"You were. I wanted to go back in time, take Marian's place and, in doing so, steal Robin away from Regina. And you acted like you were afraid I might actually enjoy masquerading as that mousy little hausfrau."
"You were… You are my wife. How did I know if it was safe? Marian was supposed to be his wife, and he moved her out to a tent in the middle of a forest full of scoundrels. If you ask me, that definitely shows a lack of concern on his part for her safety. And, I have no idea what he's like as a husband. He could've done anything to you."
Zelena laughs and offers him a sip of wine from a crystal chalice rimmed in gold. "You are so cute when you're jealous. You seriously don't think the Wicked Witch of the West could defend herself against whatever that lowly forest-dwelling thief could throw at her?"
"I'd rather you not have to defend yourself. That's my job. And, it's one I take very seriously.
"Oh, how well I remember. We fought for days. No one came to the court for fear of encountering us. They were afraid you'd set them on fire."
Hades chuckles. "No, my darling. I beg to differ, they were afraid you would turn them into one of your flea-bitten winged primates. In fact, you did. Eliana's 4½ years old now and every once in a while, I still think I see Pain and Panic scratching!"
"That was not my fault! They walked in on us while I was throwing things at you! Who does that? They asked for it! And anyway, I did change them back." Zelena pouts flirtatiously hoping that, with the right encouragement, he will change the subject.
"If we are going to stroll down memory lane, I'd rather talk about making up with you than fighting with you."
Completely self-satisfied, Zelena's shrugs. "Sure, why not. I'm already pregnant. So, I don't see what harm talking about it and do. Wait - I take that back! With our luck, you'll get aroused and manage to get me pregnant again. We'll wind up with twins with two different birthdays."
Hades chuckles. "Is that even possible?"
"Actually, my love, it's not only possible, you don't even have to be a god to manage it."
"Do you remember…"
She smiles seductively "Do I remember? Do you?"
"Well, let me see. We were arguing about your plans for Robin and Regina…. You were throwing things. I was doing a pretty good job of managing to keep my temper in check until you broke my best vinyl recording of Puccini. Then I started flame throwing. Pain and Panic came to investigate what all the fuss was about, I fricasseed them, and you banished them to the emerald mining prison in Oz. It took me almost a month to get them back! I knew it was going to take that long, and I was pretty hot about it until -right in the middle of the argument- you decided you'd rather make love than war.
Zelena giggles in satisfaction.
"I was trying to ignore you, but then you had to go and lay those perfect lips of yours on my neck. They were cold."
"Of course, they were. You're used to it, baby. You don't realize how hot it is down here. I'm always munching on ice to keep from melting."
Hades moves in close and steals a kiss. "I didn't realize it was an issue until your first night here, when you stripped down as soon as you could, threw me down on our bed, and had your way with me. I had more sex in our first week as god and wife than in 200 years of my immortal life!" He reaches into the champagne bucket on her bedside table and feeds her another ice cube.
"Your tongue was cold too, that night. Just like now. That's why I forgot all about the argument. Suddenly I wanted…"
She smiles slyly. "Yes, I remember what you wanted."
"Things were going pretty well until your mother decided to walk in unannounced. Something that, I might add, she wouldn't have been able to do if we hadn't sent Pain and Panic packing."
Zelena lifts one shoulder in a lazy shrug and stretches languidly, pressing her body against his; making contact in all the right places while she pouts, "Serves her right! Trying the way she did back then to have you for herself. She's lucky I didn't realize it was her in that moment!
"She stopped chasing me after that. Still, I'm glad she didn't see your face. Not the most ideal way for mother and daughter to meet."
Zelena's smiles wickedly. "I wish she had seen my face. It would serve her right. First, she couldn't have Leopold so, she used Regina to get him. Now, she's stuck in the underworld and she can't wheedle her way into power, because her own daughter, the one she threw away, is already sitting on the throne. That's still delicious. I could dine on that…" She pauses to clear her throat, "Ahem… memory every night for the rest of my life."
"What about this time around, my love?"
She smiles. "At least this time it happened because we were celebrating, as opposed to fighting."
"Ah, yes!" Hades reaches for his glass of expertly chilled champagne and lifts it into the air from his supine position beneath satin sheets. "Here's to the death of the Black Fairy. I would've killed her myself if dear ole Rumple hadn't beaten me to it. May her time here in the underworld be excruciatingly long!" He gently caresses the hand resting on his bare chest. "You know she came to see me, right?"
Her long red tresses shimmer brilliantly in the candlelight and her blue eyes go wide as Zelena shakes her head in surprise. "No. When was that?"
He splays a tender hand across her still-flat abdomen. "The night we did this. She wanted a second chance. Wanted me to send her topside again."
Zelena laughs merrily. "Well, that explains your ardor. As I recall, you were feeling quite passionate. Even more so than usual. I assume you are reveling in the experience of denying her request."
"That, I was."
"I don't blame you, dear heart. But just out of idle curiosity, what did she offer you in exchange?
"It seems Mama is just the tiniest bit put out with her darling boy."
"Can't imagine why." Zelena offers snidely."
"I do believe she would like to give him a right good thrashing. She offered to put herself at my disposal, provided of course that I not only pardon her from this place but also that I help her overthrow Regina in Storybrooke. She offered to take over down here so that you and I might be rid of this place in exchange for her return to corporeal life.
Zelena sighs tiredly. "Is she still on that kick? Been there; done that. Besides Hades, all I really want to focus on is the baby. If you want to leave this place that's okay with me, but if she's going to take on Regina, she's going to have to do it alone." Zelena giggles and smirks. "It might be fun to watch though. Regina is no longer a novice at shadow casting. Fiona might get her pretty little ass handed to her."
With his body and soul warmed by her laughter, Hades eases her back onto the pillows for a slow-building kiss that takes its time before it ultimately burns out of control.
Twenty minutes later, when the Queen of Purgatory screams in ecstasy, Panic is a half-second away from intruding when Pain stops him with a death grip on the arm. "Are you insane or just a glutton for punishment? How many times have we gone in there thinking the Master was in need, only to find them floating two feet off the bed, courtesy of some magical misfire, and in the throes of some bizarre tantric sex act? Yet, somehow, we're the ones who keep getting incinerated! I have seen more of that witch's breasts than I saw of my own wife's before I had the misfortune to die and get stuck here in this rotting cesspool!