Chapter 6: Moving On

Darcy told himself that now that he had righted his error he could move on with his life. Jane was in LA, settling in to her new job and reconciled with Bing. Lizzie had clearly read and believed his letter, and while he hadn't fully redeemed himself in her eyes, at least she was kinder in her criticisms of him now. The situation was as far resolved as it was likely to ever be. He had willfully alienated the woman he loved and there was little he could do to fix it. So he told himself to move on. He threw himself into his work. He went out with Gigi and Fitz and Bing, although seeing Jane was a bit difficult.

He did try to take Lizzie's criticisms to heart. He made more of an effort to be considerate to people he'd barely noticed before. He moderated his own speech and actions and considered how the angry Lizzie of her videos might interpret them. Futle as any future with her might be, he tried to be the kind of person she might consider worthy. He knew he often failed in this endeavor, but was convinced he'd at least made improvements.

If Reynolds thought it odd that he had cleared a block in his schedule every Monday and Thursday morning, she was too much of a professional to comment on it to him. Which was good, because it would be difficult to explain his need to see Lizzie's vlog as soon as it was uploaded, then rewatch it several times to analyze it and catch every nuance. He'd watched her videos from Collins and Collins with rapt attention.

He had been fighting the urge to e-mail Dr. Gardner — whom he had met at several conferences — reminding her about the excellent internship opportunities at Pemberley just in case any of her graduate students were interested, when an e-mail appeared in his inbox offering him a less Machiavellian means of seeing Lizzie in person. His aunt wanted him to assess corporate progress at Collins and Collins. It was the type of request she sent him frequently — an excuse to lure her favorite nephew to visit her and keep her subordinates on their toes — and which he usually brushed off with excuses.

However, knowing that Lizzie was staying with Charlotte and shadowing the company, he had begun planning almost immediately. He waylaid Fitz in the hallway after their afternoon meeting and all but begged him to come. Fitz, naturally curious, grilled him enough that Darcy felt he had to give him some explanation. The old Darcy would have shut down, but the Darcy who had watched the open relationships Lizzie had with her sisters and friends, haltingly told his friend a brief history of his relationship with Lizzie. With no small amount of teasing, Fitz not only agreed to come, but promised to haul Brandon along for the show as well. Within the space of an afternoon, he had replied to his aunt, booked flights, and reserved a hotel.

The next morning he anxiously awaited her next post. In her e-mail his Aunt Catherine had given him her own summary of her dinner with 'Liz' Bennet and Darcy wanted to assess the damage from Lizzie's perspective. He had no illusions about his aunt's social skills — in fact many of the defects Lizzie had honed in on in himself were exaggerated in his aunt. When it was finally posted, he was blindsided by the fact that she was blindsided.

She hadn't mentioned him much on her videos since she arrived at Collins and Collins, though Charlotte had tried to extract more information about the letter. After her fairly generous monologue on his letter and respectful silence on the matter for her subsequent videos, he was unprepared for the level of frustration she showed that he "would not get out of her life." She would rather maroon herself on a desert island than be connected with him. It hurt him nearly as much as her first videos because she'd read his letter and she still felt that way. He watched the video three more times and his anxiety about his trip grew with each viewing. She didn't want him in her life. If she'd felt "figuratively smacked by a semi-truck" just by learning Catherine was his aunt, how much worse would it be when he simply showed up.

He'd spent most of his morning mulling over his arrogance and presumption at arranging a business trip around his desire to see a woman who very publicly hated him. By lunch time he'd realized he needed advice and headed for Fitz's office.

"I need your help," Darcy said as he shoved his phone into his friend's hand, the video was paused at the beginning on Lizzie's anxious face.

Fitz looked at the phone and asked, "This is the girl? She's cute!"

Darcy felt his chin draw back, uncomfortable discussing Lizzie's beauty with anyone else, and replied, "Yes, very. But I need you to watch that video."

Fitz hit play and Darcy watched him wince at the intro, laugh at Lizzie's costume theater of Aunt Catherine, wince again when Lizzie suggested Anniekins and Darcy were perfect for each other. Fitz's expression was harder to read as Lizzie discussed Catherine's praise of Caroline. He smiled widely and raised his eyebrow when Lizzie claimed that Darcy and DeBurgh do not consume her life.

"Ok, I'm not going to lie, that doesn't look good." Darcy nodded and looked despondently out the window. "Cheer up though, she's clearly jealous of Caroline, and I think the lady doth protest too much that you don't consume her life," Fitz winked.

"But she doesn't want me there and I've already committed to this trip. She already thinks I'm arrogant and presumptuous, this will only prove it!" After a lengthy discussion over lunch with Fitz, a call to Bing, and a couple of e-mails later, Darcy was left to hope that Lizzie wouldn't hate him any more than she currently did.