Her innards churned, her throat seized, her eyes winced shut. Then the pile came. Amid her convulsions, Agi could feel the coolness of Athelstan's hand at the base of her neck, holding her hair at bay. Her ribs felt as if they were rattling against one another; the fluid in her mouth slowed then ceased altogether. Grimacing Agi hurriedly pushed the bowl aside, then teetered sideways into Athelstan's embrace. "...Ooohh...poor Athelstan...you should be in bed.." Agi mumbled, her tone sour in self-deprecation.
Athelstan's voice rumbled with laughter. "I am fine Agi. I will find sleep once you have.." he assured her.
"Then I fear we will both be sleepless..." Agi tutted, relaxing in his arms. "I can't stop thinking about the war..." she continued softly. "What if...the worst shall happen and..." Agi interrupted herself with a deep sigh, her eyes flickering closed. Since she had been avoiding Athelstan's gaze, she decided to keep them closed. "The last I spoke to Ragnar..he asked me how it felt to be deceived by someone I loved..." Agi paused, fingers blindly fondling the metallic bracelet upon her wrist, forcing it to collide with the wooden cuff Floki had crafted. "He was not cruel about it...but I...I was.."
"I'm certain it wasn't as bad, as you fear..." Athelstan said.
Agi opened her eyes, and lulled her head backward with a dejected glance. "No Athelstan. I was. I told Ragnar, he should be grateful that I lent him experience before Rollo betrayed him...I shouldn't have said that. Those should not have been the last words I spoke to him. If Rollo and Jarl Borg succeed..that will forever haunt me..."
"They shalln't succeed."
"...How do you know?"
Athelstan smiled down at the pregnant redhead he was cradling. "Faith." he stated.
"...I have faith...leastwise I wouldn't be spewing my breakfast this morn..." Agi responded, glancing downward at her protruding stomach."But I don't believe Ragnar can kill his brother. He remains in denial that Rollo's abandonment was ill will. It is that confusion which wounds Ragnar...loyalty to a disdainful man...That is why I worry Athelstan.."
"...And what of your uncle, King Horik? Does your worry extend to him?" Athelstan wondered.
"I suppose it should.." Agi mused. "It does not. Were it not for him, and his petty land despute...Rollo wouldn't have been in a position to aline against Ragnar..."Agi trailed off in a sigh.
"Determination is often an ally of bad intent..." Athelstan offered. "You needn't dwell on Rollo..."
"It has been impossible not to..." Agi murmured, with a thoughtful frown. She curled and uncurled her scarred palm. "Do you believe the Seer is ever wrong, Athelstan?"
"I could not say.."
"No..I suppose you couldn't, could you...priest...?"
"Why do you ask?" Athelstan countered.
"...He told me, I would never be rid of Rollo..." Agi said softly. "That I would carry him always, whether through blood, or through thought...If Rollo were to die in this skirmish..I would not think of him again. Why would I? If the Seer spoke true, then Rollo must surely survive this battle - what then, does this mean for Floki? Ragnar is fated to have many sons, the Seer claimed...so death must allude him for a time..But Floki..." Agi's voice cracked. Her heart thudded guiltily in her chest, as Agi pulled herself from Athelstan's embrace. "He would not want you here..Helga and I are both thankful for your visit...but you must leave. Leave and don't return. Please Athelstan, don't argue, just go..."
Leaden fingers shuffled through her hair, stirring her awake. Too heavy to be Helga. "Ath-Athelstan?" Agi sluggishly warbled. "Why...?" A yawn interrupted Agi's response, her eyes slowly opening. "Don't return I said..." Agi blearily squinted against the sunlight, to observe the man seated beside her. An excited gasp fled from her throat, at the sight of Ragnar.
"What is it, he did to upset you?" Ragnar asked with a keen smirk.
"..I was worried about Floki..." Agi responded, her gaze darting around the room. The smile on her face slid considerably, as her eyes ceased their search. "Where is he?" she asked with an air of dread.
"He is not here. He's alive...though badly wounded..." Ragnar answered, clasping a hand on her stomach.
"I must see him."
"No. Floki is in-and-out of awareness...visiting him now, would do more harm than good. To you. And to our unborn sons. Wait a day or two...then we will see him together. Alright?"
"...Alright." Agi huffed reluctantly.
Relief, brief but bright glossed Ragnar's gaze. "Come then, it is time for dinner."
With the frown on her lips deepening, Agi watched Ragnar stand, choosing to remain motionless herself. "Tell me at least the man who wounded Floki, is dead." Ragnar's fingers clenched into fists, his body shuddered with a concealed sigh. "It was Rollo, wasn't it? It was Rollo, and the bastard still breathes..why?"
"He is awaiting judgement." Ragnar answered simply.
Agi scoffed. "What use is there for that? Rollo betrayed you, sought to kill you and..."
"And yet, he could not strike me." Ragnar interrupted. "My brother fell upon his knees, and the battle was done. I convinced Jarl Borg and King Horik to reach an alliance...All is well Agi."
"Except Floki." Agi stated flatly.
Ragnar did not blink once as he replied. "Lagertha will be cross with us if we are late for dinner..."
Ragnar extended a hand to help Agi to her feet, but her gaze did not waver from his. "Should Floki die...I believe Vali will loathe you his entire life..." she warned.
"Vali? Hmm..I admit I am curious - did you choose the name Vali...or did you dream it, like Hillevi?"
"Do not speak that name."
"Why not?" Ragnar probed.
"Because it repulses me, it is an insult to my very being. You think I would give Brandr a sister who is also a cousin?! I care not what the Gods envisioned, I will bear no daughter of Rollo's!" Agi snarled.
"Ah." Ragnar smiled. "So that is the name you've chosen for our son...Brandr...hmm..."
"...You could've asked.."
"Perhaps I missed your scowl."
Agi's scowl softened to the smallest of smiles. "..Do you approve?" she asked quietly.
Ragnar smirked slightly. "Yes, I approve. I think Floki would also."
"Do not speak of him as though he is dead already." Agi said curtly.
"..You are right..It is endearing, to see you care for him so. Now come..."
Agi's meal felt as though it had never made it to her stomach, as though it were lodged beneath her throat by a clot of anxiety. Throughout the meal she could only think of Floki. The persistent glances from Athelstan and Siggy did little to deter her from her worries. Lagertha's ripe voice clashed against Ragnar's fatigued words.
"Stop fighting you two." Bjorn spoke up. Agi could pratically hear Floki's bite of laughter at such an interjection.
"...Who is Aslaug?" Lagertha asked, drawing Agi's attention away from the crackling fire.
Ragnar's tossed his plate from his grasp, with an enraged grumble. Agi's heart began to thump in her ears, nearly drowning out his plea. "Stop."
"Who is Aslaug?" Lagertha repeated firmly.
Ragnar's eyes met Agi's briefly, before addressing his wife. "She is a Gotaland princess, I met while there.."
"You just 'met' her?" Lagertha continued.
Siggy whispered, with a shake of her head. "Lagertha..don't."
"What has the boy told you?" Ragnar asked. Lagertha was still turned toward Siggy. Ragnar assessed Bjorn sitting across the fire from him. "What have you told her, boy?" he pressed.
"It doesn't matter what Bjorn says," Lagertha responded. "What do you say?"
Ragnar sprang to his feet, and Lagertha readily did the same."I say, we should not wash our dirty clothes in front of others.." he growled. The words had barely left his mouth, when Ragnar disappeared into the private quarters of his cast a haughty glance at Agi, then swiftly stomped after him.
"..Gods..." Siggy cursed, tracing her brow.
"You see what you've started." Bjorn told Agi. "He thought Aslaug was a test from the Gods...so he slept with her."
A coldness seeped across Agi's heart, numbing her from head-to-foot. Her empty gaze observed Ragnar's discarded plate, only partially aware of Siggy defending her.
"That is no fault of Agi's, Bjorn." Siggy stated. "She did not choose to be sent from the Gods."
Agi shied from Athelstan's touch, a haze clouding her mind as she got to her feet. Agi could hear Lagertha's anguished cries, the clatter of things being thrown. Rather than join the frenzy, Agi retreated outdoors. She shuddered against the cold night's wind, but only for a moment. Athelstan draped a blanket around her shoulders, though he himself grimaced from the chill. "Why can you never let me be?" Agi complained, ungratefully.
"..You should come back inside.." Athelstan replied.
"No. I should go to Jynir Still-Knee and throttle him, that is what I should do. Nearly a month since we've returned to Kattegat, awaiting the end of this war...and he did not think to tell me of As..." Agi's voice splintered with emotion. "Aslaug. I'm certain he knew, men always boast of such things, do they not? Ragnar is just a man...and I..." Agi paused, her arm trailing over her baby bump. "I am naught but a carrier for children after all.."
"Agi," Athelstan protested.
"That is why Hillevi haunts me. That is why I saw Ev..." Agi trailed off, her moist eyes meeting Athelstan's. One arm remained planted on her stomach, the other clinched the blanket closed above her breast. Agi continued to stare at Athelstan, while her mouth formed words her mind wasn't aware of. "Do you love me Athelstan?" His eyes grew wide, his mouth jarred open, and the faintest hue of pink streaked the edge of his beard. The hand upon her stomach, flew upward to clasp the collar of his shirt, pulling him forward. She tasted the sweetness of wine lingering on his tongue, his needful hands touching her face. Then Athelstan pulled away.
"No..I mean, yes...I...I do care for you deeply." Athelstan drew in a breath, resting his forehead against hers.. "This is not you Agi, it is your pregnancy and the circumstances of tonight. Two days past, you did not want me near you, because you felt you were being disloyal to Floki. Now..." Athelstan's sentence ended, as Agi began to cry.
"How could he...?" Agi gasped between sobs.
Athelstan placed a kiss on her forehead, wrangling an arm behind her back. "Come inside Agi.."
"No!" Agi argued, backing away with tears streaming down her face. "I want to see Fl-Floki...Take me to him."
Floki's broken arm was bound to a slab of wood, the wound amongst his ribcage was exposed, his eyes closed. The greeting Helga gave Agi fell upon deaf ears. Agi wrapped both arms around her stomach, trying to comfort herself, despite Athelstan looming in the doorway. Agi stepped closer to him, her hand embracing the crook of his neck. She could feel his pulse, see the shortest, slowest exhales of breath. Her fingers crept upward to stroke his chin, and then an unpleasant thought shouldered its way past her concern. "Did you know...when you visited me in Denmark? Did you know about Ragnar?" she murmured. Floki did not stir beneath Agi's heated gaze. She shook her head once, annoyed at herself. Athelstan was right, she was not behaving right. Agi traced her fingertips from his chin, down the length of his arm and raised his palm to her lips. Tears welled in her eyes, a sad smile twitching on her lips. "You must get better. I will be lost without you.." she whispered, rubbing his knuckles against her cheek.
"Agi? Would you like to apply the suave?" Helga asked.
"I would...but I fear my hands are not steady enough.." Agi sniffled.
"I understand..Please visit again when you are able. I'm certain seeing you would help tether Floki to our world.." Helga responded. Agi nuzzled Helga's golden mane, and Helga coiled an arm around Agi's shoulders. They held each other tight.
As Agi rejoined Athelstan at the door, she cast a final look at Floki. "Are you alright?" Athelstan asked huskily.
"I will be once Rollo has paid for this." Agi answered dejectedly.
Stepping outdoors, Agi pulled the blanket closer around herself. Her eyes met Ragnar's almost instantly, then just as rapidly, she looked away and began walking. She sensed him waving Athelstan off, before falling in step behind her. There was a hitch to his voice that Agi could not identify. It was not sadness, nor pride. "Things have not been well between us, but ignoring one another will change nothing, Agi."
"You stink of sex." Agi replied coldly. "But at least I know it is Lagertha you smell of, and not some 'Gotaland princess'..." She could hear Ragnar's sharp intake of breath, as he grabbed her elbow to halt her. Her hand soared upon his face, smarting him with her rage. "I did not think you a foolish pig, but what other words can I use to describe you?! In front of your own son, you sleep with this Aslaug! Why?!" Agi demanded.
"Her cleverness reminded me of you." Ragnar answered readily. A fist connected with his face this time, and yet Ragnar laughed. "It's true. But I will tell you, as I told Lagertha - I do not love Aslaug. She was a bit of fun, during a dull time..That is all.."
"Oh that is all." Agi mocked. "Then tell me something Ragnar - if Bjorn had stayed silent, would you ever have told us?"
"...I do not know.."
"That sickens me."
"Will you not forgive me?"
"Why should I?!"
"For the same reason Lagertha forgave me - you are the mother of my son." Ragnar said simply.
"Yet I am clearly not enough for you." Agi spat.
"...Fate rarely treats us the way we want to be treated, Agi." Ragnar mused.
"Sleeping with Aslaug was fate? How...Why would you say such a thing? Unless..." Agi stammered, her heart slowing with apprehension. "Did you..fill her with your seed too?" Ragnar's gaze tellingly flicked away from her. "Ragnar!"
"I did not say that." Ragnar retorted.
"Nor do you deny it!" Agi snapped. "Gods..." Agi ran a forlorn hand across her cheek. "How many times did you..No, no don't tell me...what difference does it make?" Her words began to warble, causing her anger to flare. "Perhaps you are right, Ragnar. You were fated to fuck Aslaug, so that I would become consumed by spite...so that I could gain clarity on Hillevi..."
Ragnar's head crooked to the side. "What are you saying?"
"I am saying, no, you are not forgiven...but nor will I despise you, for I am unable to. What I am saying, is that perhaps a day will come, when it will not matter how I feel about Rollo, it will only matter how you feel about him..." Agi jeered, her eyes narrow.
Ragnar's lips curled in a snarl, but his words were calm. "And what if I told you, I did not care? What then?"
"Then I would think, that you never cared for me." Agi said flatly. With a huff of resentment, Agi began to walk again. She did not get far, before Ragnar grabbed her wrist and began to drag her. "You're hurting me!" Agi whimpered, as he lugged her against a nearby structure. Ragnar pinned her wrist at an odd angle above her head, his face void of any emotion. "Let-go. I do not want you inside me.." Agi hissed.
Ragnar smirked. "But I am already inside you." he argued, his hand hovering above her stomach. He craned his head toward her abdomen, though his eyes remained locked with hers. "I love you Brandr, and despite what you mother may say to you, I love her just as much.."
"If you loved me you would not have..." Agi's words died in her throat, as she felt Ragnar's hand hook around her thigh. "Did you not hear me?" she asked hoarsely, her hand aganist his chest, his fingers clenching tight as he slid them upwards.
"I heard, and I shall heed..." Ragnar replied smugly, watching in satisfaction as Agi's breathing became haggard. "You said naught about touching you however.."
"...I will not change my m-mind..."
"I don't expect you to."
Her moans were instant, desparate, but when Ragnar leaned forward to kiss her, she moved her head away. Ragnar released her wrist in favor of her neck, noting the hand she held against his chest was eyes remained rooted on the ground, as his thumb pressed her chin in his direction. His mouth met hers feverishly, his beard burning her. When her teeth sank into his bottom lip, Ragnar recoiled with a smirk. His fingers on her throat crept down to her collarbone, but Agi's hands intercepted him from proceeding any lower. He could feel her heart racing beneath his palm, her listless eyes staring at him. Ragnar could see the resignation in her face, even as she reached her peak. Ragnar freed his hands from her, but remained close to her. "You will sleep in my household tonight. You cannot be left alone, and Helga will not leave Floki's side.." he said stoically."...Gyda has no more need for her bed.."
"I do not think Bjorn will approve..." Agi replied.
"That does not matter." Ragnar stated.
A/N - Please check the new poll on my profile. Not where I wanted to end the chapter, but it's been nearly a week already since I started it.