AN: Yay, I finally posted another chapter!
The fanfic completely discards the events of The Last Jedi, especially the travesty that was Luke's characterization. Read at your own risk if you have any problems with extreme canon warping or flat out ignore.
Also, I really hope this didn't come out too melodramatic. This chapter took me so long, and I wanted to do my dear Luke justice. Promise I will try to not abandon the fanfic for this long. Also, I hope Nyros doesn't look like a creepy woman who can't keep her feelings to herself.
Thanks to WarmNyota_SweetAyesha of Jedi Council Forums for the beta. Also huge thanks for my SWTOR guildies Rixty, Erilyne and Naemor for their support. I also would like to thank the people on the fanfic board of the Jedi Council Forums for helping me to flesh out the story details and sew up the plot holes.
_
I put my datapad aside, covering my face. Only a week has passed, and the First Order has already declared war, now conquering and occupying our worlds. Just in the last few days the Republic Fleet has suffered numerous casualties. This is worse than I could have imagined.
Their numbers are several times bigger than the Resistance estimated. How could this be? Surely they couldn't hide a mass production of ships and weaponry for this long. What did they do to keep it undiscovered? And where did they get the resources to construct fleets of such scale? Why did we miss so much? And why didn't they show up before? These questions have been haunting me for the last few days. And no matter how hard I try to find an explanation to these things, I fail to make any connections.
Could it be connected to Artoo Detoo possibly being sliced? Quite possibly. Me being unable to find any instructions Luke was supposed to leave makes me lean even more towards that assumption. The slicer must have not wanted us to find Luke, that's why they attempted to erase everything. Yet I can't find out much while on such a trip to such a remote planet. Leia redirecting all holocalls doesn't make things any easier. While I have grown to trust Poe Dameron, her commanding officer, over years, in this situation I cannot be certain about anyone. And Poe did join the Resistance before Luke's Jedi Order got destroyed, which puts him on the suspect list. Still… If he were the traitor, he had many chances to betray us. Why didn't he? And why hasn't the the traitor, whoever they might be, try to stop the Starkiller base from destroying? Things seem to contradict themselves. Is it better to take the chance and tell him everything, making it possible to prevent anything before it happens? Or will it only do more harm than good? I honestly don't know what to do right now.
I kept trying to meditate the last few days on the future of the galaxy, hoping to get the answers I needed in the Force, and all I've seen was an endless void. The Dark Side has clouded everything. For the first time in my life, I realised how much I relied on my visions. The power that was both my victory and my undoing, the power that lead me both to saving people and committing crimes, what lead me down the path I've come to regret, and yet also made me who I am now. There were times when I wished I never had it, and yet now that I can't seem to use it, I feel so helpless without it.
Luke had always warned me not to focus too much on visions, reminding me how the future is changeable, and how they lead to my fall to the Dark Side in the first place. But if I didn't, terrible things would have happened. The First Order would have won in more cases than it did. Han…
Han. Despite a week and a half having passed, I still can't wrap my head around the fact he and Leia, two of the few closest people I've ever had in my life, now see me as an enemy. Alongside Luke, they were the ones who gave me the strife to be better I was. It was them who inspired made me believe in something other than pointless revenge, and it is because of them I became who I am right now. I owe everything to them, and now I have failed them in their eyes. The more days pass, the more I feel as if there is a gaping hole in my chest.
I get pulled away from my thoughts as I sense the ship landing. Contrary to what Luke's holorecording lead me to expect, I don't sense any threat on this planet. In fact, the aura of this planet actually gives me a good feeling. I have seen many places that in one way or another suffered from the First Order the last few years. Many had a Dark Side taint to some degree, with despair and fear echoing through the Force. This planet is completely peaceful instead, a stark contrast to what I am used to. After seeing so much pain, it is nice that there is a place in the galaxy still untouched by violence.
And now, having finally arrived, after several days of managing to sense Luke's faint signature in the Force, I see it clearly. His presence here is unmistakable.
Luke… I've looked for you for so many years, and yet I all I feel now is uncertainty. Am I really to finally see you, or is it all just an illusion? After so many losses, I have a hard time believing this is actually happening. What are you thinking about me for killing your nephew? Are you going to react just like Han and Leia when you see me? Or are you going to give me another chance, like you always did?
I walk out of my own cabin and head for the living suite, only to find Rey sitting on the couch, with the rocks I gave her to lift with the Force as an exercise carefully placed on each other. Had this been another young Force Sensitive in her place, I would have suspected they cheated while I was distracted. But seeing Rey's previous results, I have no doubt she really did it.
After getting to know her, I wish the circumstances have been different, that she had been discovered earlier and the New Jedi Order was still standing. The girl has genuine talent, and while she might be a bit brash and adventure-seeking, a lot of students of her age are. And her heart seems to be in the right place. Luke would have been proud to have an apprentice like her alongside the Jedi. Then again, with the things that happened to the Order, it's probably for the best she wasn't there back then.
"Rey, it's time to go." I say.
"Yes, Master." I see my words have piqued her curiosity as she gets up from the couch. Maybe it's not the best idea to take an untrained Force Sensitive on an unknown planet, but Rey wanted to come down and see Luke. Besides, I think it would be interesting for Luke to meet someone as gifted as her.
I can feel a light breeze blowing in my face as we venture outside. The climate doesn't feel cold or warm. As I look around, I see that we are on a rocky coast, with the ocean stretching from it, with rather peculiar looking birds diving it. Everything about this planet just feels so serene. Had it not been for Luke's message, I wouldn't have suspected right now that it hides some dark secret.
Then I turn around to see an ascent to the center of the island. Luke is there, his presence irradiating through the Force. My heart races faster with each step as Rey and I go up the crag. And once again, I am reminded of the feelings I've been trying to extinguish for many years, but couldn't. The Masters of old presented love as something that went against the Jedi Code, a thing that leads to catastrophes and should be avoided at all cost in a Jedi. Yet love was what kept me from going back to the Dark Side for many years. Were they right or not? I don't know. Luke himself disagreed with that sentiment though, and the new Jedi Masters were allowed to marry and have family. In fact, at the time the Order fell, quite a few already did. Not that it changed anything about my life though.
There was time when I wished Luke and I could be together. But I never knew how to be more than a friend to him. And when I finally confessed how I feel, I realised that he never felt the same way about me. Then I disappeared, and by the time they found me, twenty years have passed. I found out Luke married a redeemed servant of the former Emperor, Mara Jade. Part of me felt guilty that I still loved him when he already had a wife, and her being jealous didn't help it. Things did settle down though after I explained her I am not a threat to their relationship. I stayed friends with Luke, hiding love away from everyone in the deepest corners of my consciousness, and still it never seemed to fade away. I told myself a million times that how I feel is wrong, yet it never made any difference. And then I lost them both.
Mara was presumably killed by a Knight of Ren while on a mission the same day the Jedi Order got ravaged. No body was found, so we didn't even have anything to bury. Luke just disappeared. The people who believed Luke went into exile used his wife's death as one of the arguments against me. Yet Leia and I knew better.
As Rey and I reach the top, I notice a hooded figure. He turns around and takes his hood off, but I didn't need that to know it was Luke. I have finally found my dear friend.
Time freezes in my mind as I see the very much aged, yet familiar, face, and the memories of everything we've been through swarm my head. When he defeated me, and was the first one in many years to offer me a helping hand instead of striking me down. Him defending me against the Rebellion's top officers. Meeting Han and Leia. Being one of the first to become a Knight in the New Jedi Order. Being recovered by the Jedi after twenty years of stasis. Our last talk before his disappearance. Now more than ever I realize how dear this person is to me.
"Ari?" after a few seconds, Luke breaks the silence with a puzzled tone. I smile as I hear his voice. So much time I searched while holding on to nothing but Leia's words and a glimmer of hope. All the evidence seemed to point towards Luke being dead, yet I never believed this. I knew Leia was right, no matter what the others said. And now I can finally see it.
"Luke..." I am trying to gather the words, holding back my emotions. "I… I am so happy to see you again."
Part of me wants to just give him a hug, but I am afraid my intentions may be misinterpreted. Luke knew how I felt about him all the time. What would he think? This is what made me keep my distance ever since I confessed my feelings. Yet as I see the next moment, my doubts are broken.
A single tear falls down Luke's face when he reaches out his hands to me. I struggle not to cry as we embrace each other. And though it lasts only a second, it feels much longer to me. Luke is alive and here. The sole fact makes me feel more complete than every small victory in the past six years. What's more, I can sense Luke's joy too. What I wouldn't have given for this moment all this time.
But along with happiness, I also sense something else. Anxiety. Uncertainty. Even borderline despair. What happened? As I ponder these things, my relief withers away.
"How did you find me?" Luke asks with surprise in his tone. I am not quite sure what to make of his reaction.
"The map. We pieced it together. The hologram you left sai-" I stop mid sentence, realizing I might have just admitted to watching messages that weren't intended for me, but this is the last thing to worry about right now. "The hologram you left for Leia said you left to look for something."
"Artoo… He shouldn't have given in my location unless I died." Luke whispers in a worried voice before turning his face to Rey. From her expression, I can see she is overwhelmed with emotion. They continue staring at each other for a moment, with Luke being surprised, but there is also warmth in his gaze. As if the girl was someone close to him. But there is something I've never noticed before before… A connection between Luke and Rey. I don't know what exactly this is, but there is a link between the two, one not unlike those between blood relatives. But Luke and Mara never had any children as far as I know. And Ben… Kylo Ren was Han and Leia's only child. Could she be a more distant relative? I never knew much of Luke's mother. Could Rey be somehow related on her side? This raises even more questions.
"What's your name?" Luke blurts out the words with his gaze fixated on her.
"Rey. It's an honor to meet you, Master Skywalker." Rey says as she slowly comes to us, taking the lightsaber off her utility belt, and reaching out to give it to Luke.
"I haven't seen this one for a long time." my friend says quietly as he takes it, shedding a single tear. "Thank you."
Now I see what Maz's plan was all along. She had foreseen Rey meeting Luke, that's why she gave her the lightsaber. And I remember where have I seen this hilt before. Mara's lightsaber. How could I not figure this out? This is all making sense.
"Why did you leave everything else behind? Your family and friends were looking for you, and the galaxy is in peril." Rey asks what I had on my mind all along.
Luke pauses for a moment before replying.
"It's... Complicated." he lets out a heavy sigh. "Why don't we go to a more appropriate place where we can discuss this?"
"Fine." I nod as I follow Luke to the other edge of the cliff.
As we all descend the top of the island and follow a rocky path, questions swarm my head. How exactly is Rey related to Luke? Is she a relative on his mother's side? I wonder frequent Force sensitivity was in the family of Luke's mother. If there was a lineage of Force sensitives, that would explain Rey's prodigious abilities.
Did Maz decide to give her the lightsaber because she noticed the connection? And how did she find the lightsaber at all? Neither Mara's body nor her lightsaber were found among the Jedi Temple ruins. While Luke told about some Jedi losing corporeal form with death, and the two of his Masters doing this. But one has to be at peace with their death, accept it, in order to become one with the Force like that, while I sensed her despair before her death. And why take the lightsaber? The only explanation I can think of is the Knights of Ren taking the lightsaber with them. I've seen some of them being fond of taking trophies from fallen enemies.
After some time walking, Luke, Rey and I arrive to a small hut inside the stone wall. I've lived in many conditions in my youth, slums of various planets included, but never have I ever seen conditions quite like these. As we go in, I see the place is very small, with all surfaces in it carved out of stone. Luke must have carved the thing out of the rock by using the Force. I remember the degree of control over it he had never ceased to amaze me in my younger years. And now it amazes me yet again.
What I notice next are the things lying on the improvised table. On one of the corners, there was a column of very old-looking paper books, with ancient papers and a datapad lying near them. I look at the datapad, which shows lines leading to some sort of coordinates on a map. On the other corner, alongside a lamp, there were several holocrons. And from their presence in the Force, they were both Light and Dark. That is very uncharacteristic of Luke to turn to the Dark Side. Could he be using the dark holocrons to help him find Snoke? Was the situation really so desperate he would turn to them?
"What you should understand is greater than anyone could have suspected." Luke says this as he sits down on what must be a place to sleep. "The identity others know as Snoke is merely a shell to cover up something much more ancient. Something much more…Evil."
Rey and I sit down on another surface near the table as he starts telling.
"Shortly before the Jedi Order was destroyed, I have been looking through mentions of possession in various materials about the Force. That's when I first stumbled upon the mention of an ancient entity. A Sith who managed to perform a ritual that bound his existence to the existence of the Force itself."
"How is this possible?" the words fly off my lips on their own. I can't believe how could something so twisted exist at all. And if it does, there is no telling how much harm can it do to the entire galaxy. It must be stopped at all costs.
"I don't exactly know how. The materials of that era are sparse. I can only assume he was a powerful Force user at that time. Back then I didn't give much attention to that, dismissing it as a legend of old. But the things I saw later made me change my mind. Not much later, I found a planet that didn't wasn't charted on modern star maps or had anything about it in the holorecords. It was devoid of all life, as if the Force was erased from it completely." Luke stutters as he stares seemingly into nothing. Rey's expression changes to that of confusion and shock. I twitch uncomfortably, pondering on the nature of this planet. How could something so corrupted, even exist? I have seen many places strong with the Dark Side, but nowhere was it strong enough to eradicate all life? Never in my life have I ever seen something this profaned.
"There was nothing but dust and ruins. And at the same time, there was the Dark Side. Just being there struck me to my core, But there is something else, the thing that scared me more. The darkness I felt on the planet was not unlike the one I sensed in Ben." my dear friend covers his face as grief touches it. And once again, I begin to feel the same guilt I felt when I killed Kylo Ren. Why, why did this have to happen? Could there have been? Maybe there was, but the price was too high. I tell myself that his death was necessary to save Han, but as I see Luke's expression, it becomes increasingly difficult to lull the feeling of weight on my shoulders.
"I have found more sources referencing the entity, and began to look for more events related to it. There wasn't anything recent that could be related to it, except for some natural anomalies on the Outer Rim planets. At the same time, I investigated the unusual activities on the Outer Rim planets that would later be revealed as the First Order. Many of the planets were the places where their activity took place. I meditated on this, and began making connections between the elusive leader of the First Order and the entity based on what I've gathered from each site. At the same, time I have begun to sense something dark coming towards the Jedi through my bond with Ben. And then… Then that day happened." tears start running down Luke's face as his voice cracks. Rey tries to look around, as if not knowing what to do to fight the situation. I get up from my seating and squat before him, patting his shoulder.
"It's all right." I say, hoping that somehow I will manage to make it easier, even though I know that I am not in the place to calm him. I am the one who killed his nephew, and he probably already knows that.
"I went to see the new intel Leia had, and was about to get back when this happened. I wasn't even there to protect them." Luke's crying grows stronger as he says this. A tear runs down my face too as I begin to remember how I felt back then.
I sensed the agony of every person who died there, coupled with the darkness of Kylo Ren. Part of me couldn't believe it was happening. It was like reliving the childhood nightmares I had after the old Jedi Order's destruction all over again. I wanted to get there, to try and save everyone, but I could not cross such distance so fast. I felt helpless. Usually, I foresaw catastrophes like this, but this caught me completely off guard. And so many parsecs away, there was nothing I could do. I remember the despair and inside me as I saw the bodies of the people I knew, some of them still children. How could one be so vile? I was on the Dark Side, I remember my crimes clearly, yet the very memories of how the brutality of those murders make my blood chill.
"I rushed there, but it was too late. There was only a burning building left, and the corpses. I just…" Luke pauses once again as his hands visibly tremble. "I always believed in the best in Ben. I didn't want to believe he was capable in something like… Like this."
I want to say something, but realise any words are only going to make it worse. So I just sit there, waiting for my friend to get through this.
"From that moment, I was certain it was Snoke's fault for turning Ben. I swore to myself that never ever will I let another one suffer from that abomination while I am standing. After gathering my things and leaving a note behind that made it look like I went into exile, I let a hologram for Leia about my true intents, something only she could figure out. Then, I set out to look for Faar's Crucible, an artifact that I am hoping to hinder Snoke with. Unfortunately, my search has been futile ever since then." Luke takes his hand away from his face and puts it on his lap, looking around. Part of me wants to tell him about what really happened to his hologram, but seeing his state, I come to a conclusion that now is not the time.
"Why didn't you tell the other survivors of the Jedi massacre about this?" Rey, who is on the verge of tears herself at this point, asks while shaking her head.
"I didn't want anyone else to suffer by Snoke's hand. Not directly at least. I already lost Ben to him. Now I see it might have been wiser to tell someone else, but… I was just so afraid for the others." Luke closes his eyes for a moment, making an agonized expression.
"You can't give up just yet, Luke." I try to assure him.
"I know I can't. Giving up is not an option here. But I have looked through a good chunk of this planet. There is nothing on the place where the tomb should be, and I checked multiple times. Sometimes I doubt if it even exists."
"I promise you, we will find a way to stop Snoke. With the Crucible or without it." I put my hand on his. "We can do this together. I have experience with studying holocrons. Besides…" My thoughts float back to Rey and how meeting her may not be a coincidence. What if she may be the key to this puzzle Luke has not been able to find? "Rey, can you walk out for a few minutes?"
"Why?" Rey asks, seemingly not having expected to be asked that.
"It is just something Master Luke and I have to discuss privately." I say.
"All right." Rey nods, still visibly confused as she walks out. After I sense she is far enough not to hear us.
"The girl. I believe she might have something to do with finding the artifact."
"How?" Luke looks at me with astonishment.
"I know this might be far fetched, but I believe meeting her was no accident. Han met her only a few days ago, when we desperately needed help, and she helped destroy the Starkiller base. And the Force. She is unusually strong with it. I believe us finding her was the will of the Force."
"You may be right." my friend nods. "I don't know why, but I feel like I have known her to many years. As if she was a part of my family."
"I sensed it too. Could it be that she actually was related to you?" I wonder if the question is too private after I ask it, but it's too late.
"I… I don't know." Luke answers with uncertainty in his voice. "From what I know about my mother, she was a Senator coming from one of the noble houses of Naboo, with no known Force Sensitives. And father was the only child. That's what I managed to gather, at least, but I don't know much, most of the data was destroyed or twisted by the Empire after the takeover. And then, there could be more distant relatives."
I nod as I realise I couldn't have hoped for a more exact answer. If there was a Force sensitive relative Luke knew of, she would have been taken to the Order.
"But there was one person who could match her in raw power." suddenly the tone of Luke's voice changes to a hardened, disappointed one. "Ben."
My heart sinks as he utters this very name.
"Why did you kill him like that? You knew he could be taken hostage." grief slips through his tone.
"I sense he tried to find an opportune moment to strike back at me. Besides… I did not believe he could be redeemed anymore." I try to justify my actions, even though I know that in the eyes of loving parents and uncle, there is no possible justification.
"There still was good in him. I knew it. " Luke says this with certainty.
"And I don't. Too many times have I heard him commit atrocities across the galaxy to let him go just like that."
"You know that forgiveness is one of the things that sets us apart from the Empire and their successors, don't you?" Luke asks. "Why would you tap into the Dark Side once again?"
"How can I show him mercy when the lives of my friends are at stake? Look, I have foresaw him trying to kill Han. I had to stop it before it was too late."
"Visions are changeable, the future is always in motion. I thought you agreed on that." Luke shakes his head in disbelief as I can sense his disappointment.
"He tried to kill me the same way he tried to kill Han in a vision before the duel! Had it been him in my place, he certainly would have died!" I pause for a moment. "Look, I know there is no way I can explain myself, but I had to save Han. As well as billions of innocents he would have murdered had I not done that. I couldn't take any risks. I know you had hoped that someday Ben Solo would return to you. But he was gone the moment he attacked the Jedi Temple. Snoke has taken hold of him completely"
Luke's expression changes from disapproval to remorse.
"Why? What did we do wrong?" he asks as tears appear on his face once again. The very sight makes me wish I never said anything I did.
"We did everything we could. You did everything you could." I try to keep calm while saying this, but can't hide the sadness in my voice. "I know this because I remember how you refused to give up on me. How you told me you refused to give up on your father."
"What kind of a Jedi am I if I couldn't protect my own nephew?" He gets up and walks away to the window, staring into it.
"Sometimes doing everything you can is just not enough. Life just works against you." I come closer to him. This is something I have learned in my youth the hard way. Sometimes, the situation just doesn't allow you to get what you want.
"Then what good am I?" Luke shakes his head.
"Even though the Order is destroyed, the war isn't lost yet. The galaxy is still standing. You can still find a way to defeat Snoke. So that he can never hurt anyone again."
Luke doesn't say anything and leaves the hut, but I can sense the conflict inside him. Part of him realises that his nephew might have been lost years ago, but that's not what he wants to believe. There is another part of him that never gave up hope even after all of the massacres Ben Solo committed. A loving uncle.