Thank you everyone for the reads, follows, and comments. I am trying to respond to ever comment on email, but there are some that I can't - so thank you to those lovely people too! Its so inspirational!

Well, on with the story.

Chapter 5

"I'm deaf." Those two words were the most difficult he had had to speak in his entire life, and for a moment it felt like it was going to be impossible to get them out. But now it was done. Done. And now... now everyone was staring. At him. He shifted in his seat, bracing his arm against the table, and tried to ignore the headache that had been plaguing him since he had woken in the hospital. He scanned them all again, reading expressions, looking, looking, for clues to what was going on and what was coming next. All except Beckett. For some reason, not entirely clear even to himself, he couldn't quite bring himself even to look in her direction.

"You're deaf? You're not deaf." Ryan finally spoke, his voice skipping over the words and ending in a short you-can't-fool-me laugh.

"No, I'm deaf." Castle repeated. It was no easier the second time he said it. The muscles in his jaw felt tight and he swallowed thickly. Even his own body didn't want to say it. It was trying to shut him up and he suddenly realised why. He respected every person in this room, but it wasn't until just now that he realised how much he wanted their respect. He wanted them to like him, to see in him a colleague, a fellow sleuth able to hold his own and bring down the bad guys equal with any of them. How would anything be the same again? Even if Montgomery and Bob allowed him to continue with the 12th, he had a new title now: Deaf Rick Castle the Deaf Writer. The Deaf wannabe-cop. The Deaf -

"Are you sure?" Ryan stumbled on, caught himself and blushed.

"Pretty sure." He answered evenly. And his gaze touched on Lanie's. She was staring at him, but something was off with the intensity of it. He blinked. Oh, she knew. She already knew. How - ?

"But-" Ryan said again, interrupting his train of thought, then stopped, brow crinkling. Espo continued to stare. "But you're, you- I'm talking to you. You're talking back."

"Hearing aids. And, I can lip read. Amongst other things."

"Bullshit." Epso expostulated in a sudden exhalation. "This is a joke. We'd know if you were-"

"How would you know Javi?" Castle said, before he could stop himself. The anxiety was making him brittle, edgy, and he couldn't stop himself saying more. "How? This didn't happen to me yesterday. I've had years to learn to hide it from pretty much everyone." Shut up Rick, shut up. That went down like a lead balloon. The defining bête noire of Javier Esposito was disloyalty, dishonesty, in those he considered friends. And boy had Rick been both. Oh boy. Javi bristled, his jaw hardening. Rick braced for the blow.

"Show us: the hearing aids." He ordered. And there was a shocked admonishment from everyone else in the room.

"No. It's ok. Fine." He'd expected to have to do this, sooner or later, and managed to produce one of the hearing aids without his fingers shaking. Espo stared at it. They all did. Castle cringed inside, but held himself still. This had to be the worst day of his entire life. The worst. When no one said anything after a good 20 seconds, the self-consciousness was too much, he couldn't take it anymore and with fumbling fingers, put it back. Espo blinked, some fire going out of his eyes.

"Well, I'll be damned." Ryan said, almost to himself.

"You knew about this?" Espo turned on Beckett.

"Only after this morning." Rick interceded. Beckett did not need his protection, but he'd be damned if he'd let her come under fire for this. "As I said, Espo, I've had a lid on this for years. Beckett didn't know."

"And now everyone's gonna know." Epso said. The barb was pointed with Espo's continuing, if diminishing, anger and Rick took it without complaint.

"Everyone's gonna know." He repeated dully. The weight of that knowledge suddenly felt too weighty to bear and his shoulder's sagged. All those years. All that time, and money and effort. All for nothing. All for nothing. His head felt suddenly heavy and light at the same time. His skin was way too hot for his body. He shivered suddenly.

"-Castle?

"Hmph - what?" He blinked. Beckett was suddenly in front of him. She looked as blurry as she sounded. That was weird. And now she was slowly sliding up onto the ceiling. That was curious. A trick, worthy of the Roger's dynasty of magicians, shysters and two-bit showmen - and ladies! Wow.

"That's awesome!" He told her. His voice sounded slurred. "How are you doing that?" She grabbed him with her three pairs of hands. This was so cool! His head felt foggy, but it was just so astounding that he managed: "Best trick ever!"

Then there was a lot of very fast talking.

"-something-! Catch- Es-o! R-!" That was the very high up, six handed Beckett talking now.

"Oh god, why does he have to be so big. How fucking tall is he anyway?" A deeper voice, easier to understand.

"My back!" A different deeper voice suddenly groaned. Then -

And he was moving, moving, and then a sudden short drop onto something smooth and giving. He bit back a yelp as the drop jolted his hand and ribs. But then his head connected with something softer.

"Something something something something. Call a bus." Ceiling octopus Beckett said, somewhere out of sight. And OK, that he heard.

"NO!" He forced his eyes open, trying to find the detective. He managed to force his way up onto one elbow. "No bus. No hospital! Beckett-"

"Castle." She was down off the ceiling, but still shot in soft focus. He had to stare at her lips to make sense of things. Damn hearing aids not doing their job. "Castle, stop. Lie down." She pressed her two, only two again, hands against his shoulders. He was too worked up to let her push him back. "Lanie? Is this the concussion?" Beckett demanded, her eyes wide and never leaving his face.

And Beckett disappeared into the murky sound-scape that was fuzzing up the rest of the room. He could hear voices, but not make them out. This was going wrong. All wrong.

"Castle? Rick?" Lanie was there again, right in front of him. Over enunciating every word. Fuck. His heart was doing double time.

"No bus! Lanie. Please. This is not how it's supposed to go. I screwed up. I have to fix it."

"No, right now you have to lie back down, honey." She said, staring at him. "Let me check you out. If this is the concussion raising its ugly head again you have to go back to the hospital."

"No-"

"Castle. I could help them call the bus right now, or you let me check you out and you might, might, get to stay here. You with me?" She said. And he knew when he was beat. He let her use the light touch of her index finger to his chest to push him back onto the soft surface. "OK, let me check you out." She shone that annoying light in his eyes again. Then "OK, you remember your name?"

"Richard Edgar Castle." He complied.

"Do you remember how you got here?"

"Yeah. Got one of the nurses to drive me. She's a fan. Nice kid. Kind reminds me of-"

"OK. Got it. How's the vision? Headache?"

"A - a little blurry. And yeah, still."

"Feel like you're gonna be sick?"

"No, not really."

"Hungry?"

"Uh, yeah, now that you mention it. Alexis was going to smuggle me in a muffin, but ah, I didn't hang around long enough-"

"OK." She patted his arm. "OK. It could be the concussion, but I think it's more likely low blood sugar. Give him those donuts Ryan. Javi, go get a soda." Three frosted pink donuts appeared suddenly under Rick's nose. "Eat!" She commanded. There was more talking, and then suddenly he was alone in the break room with the two women. He bit down on a donut under the M.E.'s stern gaze. God, that was good. Oh my god. Donuts: manna from heaven! And he usually disliked them too. Lanie spoke again as he watched the women over his donut. "Hmm. I'd let him stay here for a while. See if things get sorted out with some food and water. Get someone to watch him for a time."

"Um -?" Beckett started.

"Oh no. No."

"But you're a doctor."

"Of dead people."

"I've got a suspect, from this morning's raid, in Interview that -"

"Espsito and Ryan can more than handle. And there has been more than a polite delay in what's coming next."

"Lanie-"

"Talk. " Lanie gestured in his direction, then back at Beckett. "To him. Now." She snatched up a black bag from the table. "And you -" She pointed at him now. He blinked, startled. "You I will see later for the apology, the ass-whooping, and the expensive bottle of perfume you are going to buy me. And the story. Oh and it better be a good story Castle." She opened the door and spoke to Beckett. "I'll let the boys know they can get started on the interview." And she was gone.

And he was alone.

With Beckett.

And nothing but time.

End

Oh, I am sorry for the short post again. I got some time and got it done. More on the weekend. This time its Beckett and Castle finally having that talk.