OK. The next instalment. There will be one more after this. Phew, my two parter has grown legs! And as promised things take a turn for the better in this part. It does start off angsty, but ends someplace much better. I hope it works. I really do. Please let me know your thoughts. I appreciate them all.

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Castle walked beside Beckett on the short journey to Captain Montgomery's office. Every footfall dragged. In a handful of minutes his time at the 12th was going to come to an end and he would leave the building; ejected into the media scrum outside to start his new life as that deaf author guy, you know, the one who's deaf. There would be endless hounding by the press. He would be flat out trying to fend them away from Alexis and his mother. Gina would be demanding he do interviews. Chat shows confessionals. Entertainment spots. And one of those daytime biographical movies. Oh. My. God. The pressure of that coming horror show was growing with every movement towards the Captain's office. He felt weighted down with dread.

Right now he could not imagine returning to his old life. Though it wouldn't be his old life. Maybe he should rephrase that: he couldn't imagine returning to a life without the 12th. Without the blurry electric rumble and occasional roar of the bullpen, the bustle of the precinct as they worked the evidence and made the connections; and the jolting thrill of the 5am wakeup call and Beckett's clipped 'we have a body' better than any espresso. And without the unexpected joy at finding a such a kindred spirit in the cop he had been assigned to shadow. It had been the best time of his life if he was honest. And now it was all over. All over. Emotion suddenly swelled in his chest and he stopped. He couldn't walk another step -

"Beckett-"

"Castle-"

He looked at her, surprised and not surprised that they had spoken at the same time, responding to the same urge, and felt himself swallowed up in the tightly held misery that he saw in her eyes. Where moments ago, she had pushed her way into the break room almost ethereal with that familiar searing diamond-forging ferocity that he had seen melt many a guilty party into a confession, now it was just a brittle hollowed shadowed face that looked just how he felt.

And then, they both moved at the same time. Exit stage left. Into the nearest storage room. Castle jerked the door shut behind them. It was dark. He fumbled for the light, yanked the cord in an aching hand, and with a flat clack they were bathed in the dim glow of the cheap naked bulb dangling overhead.

"Beckett, I'm sorry." The words just tumbled out. He watched her take them in, saw the surging flicker of that anger return and he shook his head. "No, no, not like that. Please let me explain. If this is going to be my last day here, if we never see each other again, I have to explain. I should have told you about my hearing the first day we met. I should have, but I didn't because - because I was only thinking about myself and about what I needed from the 12th, from you, and I didn't think beyond that. I don't think I even understood how to think beyond that.

"I- I've never been part of a team before, and I didn't realise," he paused, searching for a better word, "I didn't understand what being part of one really meant. That any decision of mine could so affect everyone else wasn't something I even contemplated. And for letting you down, for being a thoughtless idiot, because of that, I am truly truly sorry.

"Castle-"

"No, please let me finish. Please." He drew a breath. "This is about more than that though, I know that now. What happened today in that house- I hope you can understand that I couldn't not do what I did."

"Couldn't not Castle? You jumped on a man at least twice your size! What were you thinking?" She interrupted him without warning. The question burst from her lips like it had been pent up there since this morning. Maybe it had. " Why didn't you call out? Castle you are a civilian-" Her voice was thin and raw with memory. And seeing the sudden naked pain in her face felt like a violation, like he should cover his eyes and turn away from something he wasn't supposed to see.

"I was thinking that there was no time. He was huge Kate. If I hadn't-" He almost choked on his words. "I couldn't- I- Kate." He stopped, clenched his teeth and forced himself to slow down, though the desperation to make himself understood in the scant minutes they had left was making him shiver. "If I had hesitated he would have been on you. And Kate he was huge. He had hands like dinner plates! I was thinking that I had to save you." He waved with both arms, caught up in the moment and both of his damaged hands abruptly connected with a shelf of toner cartridges. Pain like a lightning bolt shot through him and he saw white. Fuck! He yanked his hands back towards his chest.

"something!" And he felt hands on his forearms, pulling. Pain sparkled along his bones. He grunted. Oh fuck that hurt! Then those grasping fingers slid further along his arms, and pulled at his elbows, gentle but insistent, taking the weight of his hands. Someone was talking. Beckett. Oh!

"- You're ok. You're ok. Try to relax. It's ok. Let me see. Castle?"

"Oooow." He managed. And Beckett's face suddenly came back into focus. He stared at her as she down at his hands where she still held them close to her with a steady familiar strength. She looked them over until he felt like he was a fragile piece of crime scene evidence, but the touch of her skin against his was nothing short of narcotic. Better than a pain killer. He could barely feel the agony in his hands. "Kate? Do you understand what I am saying? About Baxter. I couldn't do anything else."

"You shouldn't have been there." He had to strain to hear her, her words were almost too quiet for him to grasp the meaning with her head bent over his hands, and soft tendrils of hair obscuring her face. What? Of course he should have been there.

"Beckett, I'm your partner. Of course I should have been there." He countered.

"You're a civilian observer Castle." She said, looking up at him again. Brittle once more and her fingers curling tight into the bones of his elbows. He wondered if she knew she was doing it?

"Well - no amount of not being a civilian observer was going to stop Baxter this morning." He countered, hurt by her correction. He watched her process what he had said, and saw the tension rise in her again. Watched her lips press together. Watched her short sharp flick of a headshake, held back by corded tendons and tight muscles.

"You don't understand." She said.

"So help me understand. Beckett please. Talk to me."

"It was my fault." He almost missed the words. What? No. He shook his head. "No, Castle. You've had your turn. Now it's mine." She said quietly, but with the same steely resolve she had used in the break room. He knew better than to fight her when she sounded like that. "It was my fault. You are a civilian Castle. I shouldn't have let you come into the field with us like that. But I did and - Castle-" She stopped and he watched her swallow. He saw the memories crowd in. "You don't know what it was like watching it happen. Knowing that I couldn't get there fast enough to stop that bastard-! Knowing that I was the one who put you there. And afterwards-" Her words choked off, and he felt her hands leave his arms, felt their painful weight become his to bear again, and then she was stepping back though there was hardly any room to move around in here.

Espo, Ryan, Lanie: they had been right. He'd been such an idiot.

"Beckett-"

"I can't let it happen again." Was she telling him or herself? "You have to understand Castle, I am not doing this because I like it. I am not getting some perverse thrill out of having you leave. I just can't - I won't - " She stopped again.

"I meant what I said earlier you know." He told her. "About telling Captain Montgomery everything. About my hearing. About how I lied to everyone, to him too. That's how I was going to fix it.

"I should never have held back about my hearing. I should have let Gina talk me into telling everyone years ago. But," he paused, considering his next words, " if I had I would probably never have met you. And for that part I can never be sorry." She was staring at him now and he found he couldn't read her expression. He ploughed on. " And I am also not sorry that I stopped Baxter from attacking you. That was my choice. My decision. And I'd do it all again, just the same."

" I could have stopped you-" She said.

"No, you couldn't."

"I could have ordered you to the back."

"I'd have found my way back to the front."

"I could have ordered you to stay in the car."

"And since when has that ever worked? I have had a free pass to follow you around since the first day I arrived. I know, I read the agreement. You couldn't have stopped me if I wanted in." He watched her internalise that. Hoped she would see it the truth of it in his eyes.

"You were really going to tell Montgomery? Everything?"

"Everything." He agreed.

"Even if it meant he did terminate the agreement? Really? That was your plan?" She regarded him flatly, cautiously, disbelievingly.

"Well, he'd have to make a recommendation to the Mayor to do that. And I can't deny I would have been hoping that he didn't do it. Or that Bob didn't agree to it." He said ruefully. This room was as tight as a confessional and it seemed to be having that effect on him. He couldn't stop himself. "Look, Kate, I know that you aren't doing this out of spite. You don't have that in you. It's one of the many things I lo- admire about you actually. There's no other way option left than what we are doing. But it has to be we, not just you. I did this. I- " The door suddenly rattled behind his back. "Occupied!" He yelled without thinking. The rattling stopped. Someone said something, but he couldn't make it out. It wasn't important anyway. Their time was running out.

"I guess, I just- wanted you to know. Before we see Montgomery. I wanted you to know that I was sorry for not telling you about my hearing. I wanted you to know that it wasn't your fault what happened. And I am so so sorry for putting you through it all. I thought, I hoped, we could still -"

And suddenly, shockingly, he had his arms full of Kate Beckett.

One step forward and she was right inside his personal space, almost touching his chest. The fine elegant lines of her face were transformed by a dense urgent tangle of emotion that snatched his breath from his lungs. And her hand, it reached upward, fingers settling in cool gentle lines against his jaw. He couldn't move.. Time felt suspended. He was deaf to everything outside this room. Truly deaf. It was just the two of them in the universe. Then those fingers moved, sliding along his hot skin until they cradled the back of his head, and curling inward pulling him towards her. And he still didn't dare breathe. Their foreheads pushed together. Pressed there. He let out the breath he had been holding. Eye to eye, face to face, their breath mingling hot and humid, it was more intimate than a kiss. And he understood. He understood. And he could see, so did she. It felt like a victory snatched from the devil himself.

And then someone thumped the door again. There was a man's voice that sounded familiar. Rick drew in a breath to yell something angry. He stopped. Stared at her. He knew that look: she knew who it was at the door. He opened his mouth to ask, but Beckett laid a warning finger against his lips and he stopped. His brain stopped. Everything stopped. Her finger against his mouth was suddenly the single most erotic and intimate thing he had ever experienced. But then-

"Is that you in there Castle? Beckett?"

"Montgomery." He groaned, squeezing his eyes shut, and only realising only the last syllable that there was a second voice that had joined him. He flicked his eyelids open again, catching Beckett's eye as she pulled away from him, as that finger left his lips. The moment was gone, but he could still feel it pulling at him. He almost fell leaning after her.

"Open this damn door." The Captain called again and Rick flinched. Oh boy, was he pissed. It was to be expected, but it was still a bit terrifying. Rick twisted around and reached for the knob. He pulled open the door and stuck out his head. And there was Montgomery, cell phone in his hand, looking every bit as intimidating as every single school principal that had ever expelled him, combined.

"And Beckett?"

"Here sir." She appeared from behind Rick's shoulder. Oh and they had a crowd watching too. Oh better and better. "Sir, I can explain-"

"Please don't." Their Captain snapped. "My office. Both of you. Now."

Rick tried to ignore the eyes following them as he and Beckett trailed behind their Captain. The march was thankfully a short one and within moments they were inside and the door was shut. He watched Montgomery walk around his desk, drop his cell phone onto it and resume his dour headmasterly aspect. Rick could feel Kate beside him, virtually radiating tension and it was all he could do not to reach out for her hand.

"Well. What a morning I have had with the Mayor." Montgomery began and Castle's heart sank to the floor.

"Sir, I can expla-"

"Can it Castle!'

" Yes sir. Canned."

"So as I was saying, I had my monthly meeting with Mayor Weldon this morning. We discussed the usual things: budget, staffing. And then, and then, one of the Mayor's staffers interrupted our nice quiet meeting with some news, some gossip." Oh no, here it comes. Rick could feel the volcano that was Captain Montgomery start to rumble. "Can you imagine our surprise to hear that our celebrity tag along has just been involved in a serious incident in our fair city which involved no less than one shooting and two hospitalisations? One of them his own. And if that wasn't bad enough, we then hear that this celebrity has been hiding something that, on the face of it, seems to have contributed to the mess that was this morning's incident. And we are hearing it, not from someone within the precinct or the hospital, but from social damn media."

"Sir, if you'll let me, I can explain-"

"I seriously doubt that you can Mr Castle." Oh no, Mr Castle. Mr. "So is it true. Are you deaf?"

"Yes."

"I don't believe it."

"He is sir." Beckett chipped in and earned herself a Look.

"You knew about this?"

"Only after the aforesaid, rumoured, incident." Rick interjected. His words scurried together in a nervous string. "Not before that. She didn't- she didn't ahem know. I didn't tell -" He stopped. The glare was too bright.

"If I hadn't already has the preliminary report faxed over to me at the Mayor's office, I wouldn't need much to tell me the part about the hospitalisation was true as well." Montgomery carried on, sweeping a critical eye from Rick's scuffed too big shoes to his dishevelled hair. "What are you doing out of hospital anyway? On second thoughts, I don't want to know that either. But I don't expect to be receiving any medical bills from you." Rick shook his head. He'd already signed that right away months ago. Damn good thing he was rich.

The Captain stopped then, and a long tight sigh flared his nostrils. Here it comes, here it comes. Rick braced for the blow.

" You are one lucky sonnavabitch Castle."

"What? - wait, what?" Rick blinked at the other man. Montgomery regarded him for a long disapproving second.

"What?" Rick's head whipped around as Kate spoke, then back to the Captain again.

"After our meeting was interrupted, it ended. The Mayor's people had to go into damage control. As you can imagine, the idea that the Mayor of New York City, in his election year, had potentially colluded with a celebrity with apparently serious medical issues to ride with some of this city's finest law enforcement, in the field and into a shooting no less, might give his political enemies some fodder. Once his office and ours, verified the gossip as fact, serious decisions had to be made. and fast. And it was decided, against my wishes I might add, that the best way forward was - business as usual." Rick's head was spinning, he couldn't think straight. Was the Captain saying what he thought he was saying?

"I- I think I need to sit-" Rick managed to get out as his legs started to fold under him. And onto a chair that suddenly appeared under him. Kate's hands were back, gripping his shoulders, squeezing. He leaned into her and she was there, pushing back to keep him upright.

"Sir," Beckett spoke from above him. She was shocked, he could hear that. And relieved. She was relieved. He felt like dancing. "Are you saying that the Mayor has decided that Castle stay with the 12th?"

"He has." Montgomery sounded like he was chewing gravel now. Clearly he really wasn't on board with this. "And in fact, if Castle values his future in this city, he will."

"I don't understand." Kate said.

"I do." Rick found his voice. He watched Montgomery as he spoke, reading everything he could glean from face, body language, voice. "The Mayor can't back down. It's an election year. He could cancel the agreement and have me kicked out of the 12th, but if he does then he looks either guilty of conspiracy with a rich medically unfit celebrity to gain access to law enforcement which has now resulted in a shooting and that could have ended with loss of life; or, worse, that he was duped into allowing said medically unfit celebrity to mingle with the NYPD, which makes him look like a narcissistic sap more concerned with showing off his connections than protecting this fair city and the men and women who actually protect it. Either way he's screwed. If I stay on, there's a chance he can make this all go away."

"Spin." Kate sounded disgusted. But then, politics did disgust her routinely.

"Mmh." Castle nodded at her. "He spins it to look like the medically unfit celebrity is the hero of the hour, rides out the detractors with some sort of - oh no." Rick stopped. He felt his jaw go slack. He stared at Montgomery. "Oh no. No."

"Oh yes Mr Castle. Oh yes." Montgomery almost looked tickled at Rick's growing horror as he realised what was coming.

"OK, Sir, Castle. You've lost me."

"What do you give a hero, Detective Beckett?" Montgomery prompted Kate, and Rick suddenly wanted to find a box and hide in it.

"Oh no." Beckett had grasped it. And he felt the hands on his shoulders tighten. Ow. Ow. "No, sir. You can't be serious? The Mayor can't be serious."

"Oh, but I am serious. And so is the Mayor. And so Mr Castle, apart from my suspending your involvement with the 12th until you recover from your injuries, I suggest that you take that time to think of a suitable acceptance speech. That shouldn't be too hard for someone of your literary talents."

"Oh no, sir, please." Rick squirmed out from under Beckett's crushing grip. "You have to do something."

"It's already been decided Castle. It's out of my hands."

"Then I'll quit."

"You can't. You'll be finished in this city. You know the Mayor might be a fan of yours, but I would be careful if I were you: he is first and foremost a politician. And an ambitious one."

Oh my god. Rick glanced up at Beckett, but she was unreadable.

There was a knock at the door. Esposito put his head in, eyes round, his entire being radiating his unease as he looked around the room.

"Ah, sorry to interrupt. I need Detective Beckett."

"Sir, may I-" Beckett queried, and was let go from the room with a nod from Montgomery. Once the two detectives had gone, the Captain picked up a file.

"Sir, what if I were to just not recover from my injuries? Then I couldn't return, for a very very long time. And then Bob- the Mayor wouldn't need to go ahead with the uh, uh-"

"No, he's pretty set on it Castle."

"Crap."

"Indeed. You know maybe you should have used that creative mind of yours to think about what might happen if youlie to the police. Before you actually did the lying."

There was silence. Montgomery read his file. Castle fidgeted and tried not to look out of the window towards Beckett's desk. A minute seemed to tick by.

"You know, you don't seem too shocked about my uh hearing."

"I have a cousin who is deaf. You'd never know it to talk to her. And I am a veteran with over 20 years on this job. Just about nothing surprises or shocks me anymore."

"Ookay."

"Ok, now Castle you're stalling. I suggest you man up and leave my office, and go find yourself a ride home. I'll be needing your input in the final report and I will be needing it yesterday."

And so Rick inched out of the Captain's office and eyed Beckett's desk, which was thankfully empty. Oh god this day was going to kill him. He started towards the elevator. Maybe he could use Lanie's phone to call his mother? He hunched his shoulders against the whispering and staring and walked. He forced his tired legs to eat up the floor as fast as possible, but then he caught a snatch of a voice as he made it to the break room and almost sagged to the floor with relief. Lanie. He wouldn't have to go hunting for her around the building.

"Lanie, I-" He spoke as he opened the door, and stopped as he came face to face with Ryan, Epsosito, Lanie and Kate. They stared. He stared back. Oh no. Oh no.

"Beckett just told us you're getting some sort of hero award for this morning." Epso said, face like flint. "That right?"

"Oh, oh that. I well-"

"How the hell did you swing that?" Ryan put in. It sounded like an accusation. And Lanie just raised her eyebrows at him. Kate didn't even turn around from where she was at the coffee machine.

"Oh come on guys." His tired brain, running on nothing but adrenaline now he was sure, was scrambling. "Now- Who's that laughing? Beckett?"

And she was. Shoulder's shaking, head bobbing up and down. The peels of giggles sounded like church bells to his tired ears. Was that a snort? And that started them all off. Every single one of them. And Rick couldn't think anymore and it must have showed because the next second Lanie had an arm around him and was him pushing him back to that couch. He sat down, heavily.

"You're not mad." He said stupidly to Lanie over the giggling insanity that was the break room.

"Oh no honey. Kate told us all about it." And she started it as well. Big open giggles. "It's just too damn funny."

"Oh man. The look on your face!" Ryan's hand landed on his shoulder. "Welcome back to the 12th man." He slapped Rick's shoulder again. Rick tried not to wince. "Come on Javi, let's go do some real police work. Maybe, if we're really good the Mayor will give us a big shiny gold sticker too. Oh man, that's going to keep me going all day." And he and Javi headed out of the door, still giggling.

"Yeah well," Rick shot back, floundering for a good come back whilst still reeling over what was going on. "You know - you - you laugh like a pair of goats." Espo flipped him the bird as we went and didn't even turn around to do it.

"Oh, oh, well that's me out of here too." Lanie spoke up next. "I still expect to see you with that apology though Castle. And my expensive perfume." And then she was gone in a cloud of giggles and he was left with Beckett.

"That wasn't funny Beckett." He humphed as she sat down beside him, cradling a coffee in her hands.

"Well, from where I was standing it was pretty funny." He could see her eyes laughing at him over the steaming rim of the mug. It was the prettiest sight he never thought he would see again. "And you did sort of bring it on yourself."

"Yeah." He let his head roll back to lie against the back of the couch. "I guess I did." He touched her knee, ghosting over the denim. "So, uh, are we good. Um, I mean better. Than. Better than before? Anyway?" He stumbled over the words and watched her incline her head, her features blurring slightly in the vapour rising from that unbelievably awesome smelling coffee, as she considered his words.

"Working on it." She said eventually. He smiled.

End - until the next chapter. Please let me know what you think :)