Chapter 9.

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox!dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX!

AN:Stop flaming ok! I didn't read all the books!(That was pretty obvious) This is from the movie(Which movie is she talking about?) ok so it's not my fault if Dumbledore swears! Besides I said he had a headache! And the reason snape doesn't like harry now is cause he's Christian and vampire is a Satanist! *Facepalm*

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I don't blame draco at all here. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose Voldemort? Finally. Someone around here with some sense and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose A horrible man with no nose didn't have a nose? Thank you captain obvious from planet obvious.(basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was… Voldemort! Yes. Kill her!

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away. That's what the imperius curse is supposed to do.

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. You threw hermione's cat at voldemort? Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. It actually worked too? The dark lord, the most feared wizard in all of the wizarding world was defeated by a cat? I felt bad for him It's voldemort! Run you idiot! even though I'm a sadist so I stopped. You're not a sadist then.

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!" What? Why is voldemort from the eighteenth century?

I thought about Vampire and his sexah Sexah? *bangs head against wall* eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. No it doesn't. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up? Finally! It took you a while.

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back. Yes, shouting at the villan. That always convinces them.

Voldemort gave me a gun. A Gun? Seriously? You guys have magic. What's wrong with wands? "No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!" Wait. So voldemort's plan to kill harry potter is to give some random teenage girl who can't even dress properly a gun and blackmail her into killing harry potter? I give up. I take back what I said about voldemort being sensible.

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way. I mean you guys have been walking around naked half the time. At this rate half of UK might know that you and draco are fucking.

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. Just like the rest of the world. "I hath telekinesis." *Starts laughing out loud*. he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick. That is some mental image right there.

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods. How did draco know she was here and that sentence shouldn't be phrased like that.

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. Why? Did he actually put some clothes on before coming here? He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) I don't…wait…Pentagram? Cross…*Lighbulb*Oh My God! It's so fuckin stupid. *smashes head against desk* between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered. This conversation is as interesting as a mashed potato salad.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled. She expelled.

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out. Oh for the love of god! Can these two keep their hands to themselves for one second.