IRL And All Realities

by ozsia

The first time he picked up Gryffindor's sword he had been young and terrified. The second time he fumbled the hilt, he had still been young and he had still been terrified. The third time? He was not much older and no more prepared for the world he had just entered, nor for the enemy he will face in order to win this twisted game of life and death.

2. Link Start Into Madness

Mum had screamed when she gotten back late in the evening and walked into the kitchen after announcing their arrival, only to be faced with Harry who was bent over Dudley's phone. He'd been showing his cousin its features for hours as Harry wasn't used to the complexity nor its advancements, but was quiet and agreeable to learning how to work the device. It'd been a first for him, regardless. He hadn't been able to use any electronics in the house before. But Mum'd screamed and Dad had turned an alarming shaped of purple.

'What is - is that freak doing here?!' Mum demanded, pale and shaken as she trembled in her high heels, her neck gaunt as it strained.

'Boy,' Dad growled as his voice rumbled threateningly but they were both frozen in the doorway, still and seeming to wait for something to shatter the standoff.

Harry wasn't emendable. In fact, he barely blinked at them. Trepidation, perhaps had solidified his muscles but his face was lacklustre, deadpanned. 'Harry needs to be away from them for awhile, so he'll be staying here,' Dudley explains lowly, like there were animals in the room he didn't want to unsettle.

'What?!' Dad demands before vehemently shaking for head. 'No! Absolutely not -!'

'One of his lot brought him here. They know that I said he could, Dad.' Dudley froze as soon as the words had exited his mouth but he wanted to play up the lesser of his evils. Dad wouldn't care that Harry may not have anywhere else to go, or that there were some very bad people who wanted to some very real damage to him.

Dad glares and it is sharp, angry and Dudley hates every narrow, uncaring edge. 'What've you been filling my son's head with, freak?!' he yells hoarsely, lips pulled back in a sneer. Mum is awfully silent as she continues stares at them blankly.

'Nothing that he didn't want in there,' Harry responds, nearly snarky if it wasn't so flat. Since that first outburst during their earlier conversation on Voldemort's soul splitting escapades, Harry had been polite but impassive. It was…really unnatural.

'Boy -'

'Is he dead?' Mum interrupts softly but she might as well have used a knife. It brings Dad up short as he glances sideways at her, shock morphing his face into something less dangerous. 'The one who killed her, is he dead?'

Whatever surprise surfaced on Harry's face was temporary. He inclines his head, something far more respectful about him as his eyes lit in understanding, however frigid. 'And he's not coming back, not this time,' Harry informs, as he locks Dudley's phone and hands it back.

'…I suppose your lot know not to bother us here?' Mum asks in concession as Dad sputters next to her. She stands tall though, ramrod straight, hands interlinked in front of her as she juts out her chin.

'They won't want to,' Harry responds without inflexion. 'I have - transportation. When they call, I'll make my own way there. No other freaks will step through the door.'

Mum's face tightens, but she accepts this silently as her lips purse. 'Fine, you may stay,' she allows much to Dudley's relief even if his Dad looks less then thrilled. They'd most likely be having "words" later. 'However, I don't want to see any of your - your freakishness in this house, do you understand?'

'Understood,' Harry replied simply.

'Your things -' Mum was about to go on when Harry held up a hand.

'Stay with me, including my wand.' On this Harry is strong, his voice deepens. 'Wizarding Britain is still in a state of emergency and I can't protect anyone here without it.' He doesn't outrightly say, like he had to Dudley, that things were still shit and that the danger was pretty severe. He doesn't need to, the implications are clear.

'Now hold on.' Dad moves forward, was about to step into the kitchen where the invisible line had been drawn when Mum's hand slaps down onto his shoulder to stop him. Her nose is flaring, her penned eyebrows a tight knot on her forehead.

'It's not to be used without provocation,' Mum states in the light of other freaks banging down the door. 'I don't want to see it and if I find out you've been using it for nonsense than you'll be out on your ear.'

'Okay, fine.' Harry nods. 'It's not like I can use it for anything else, anyway.'

'What?' Dudley frowns in sudden distraction. 'What do you mean?'

Harry turns to him, eyebrow raised. 'I'm still underage, I can't use magic in a muggle area, remember?'

This brings Dudley up short. 'But.' He flounders, mouth loose as it looks for something to bite into. 'But you fought that war -'

Harry snorts dismissively, eyes diverting to a far corner wall. 'Yeah?'

'No more talk of this either!' Mum suddenly exclaims as if in a panic.

Harry hums and concedes that as he glances back at his aunt and uncle. 'It's - what, five now? Want me to start making dinner?' he asks even if he's already dragged back his chair with the backs of his knees and partially stood from it. The wince is barely noticeable as his puts weight back onto his legs but Dudley sees.

'The normal way?' Mum asks but her voice is higher than usual.

'The only way,' Harry confirms as he walks to the kitchenette, limping. Dudley doesn't imagine how Mum's eyes widen nor how her jaw loosens in shock at how poorly Harry moves. Her breath hitches and Dudley expects her to something. 'Anything that you had planned for tonight?'

'…steak.' His Mum's face hardens, eyes darkening their colour from their pale sage tones to something far more toxic.

'Harry,' Dudley says.

'Got it,' Harry responds as he starts to rustle through the cabinets, familiarising himself with their contents as he begins to pull what he needs out of them.

It doesn't get any less awkward after that.

Four months slip by as Harry re-slots himself back into their lives and into the household. He'd picked up a lot of chores without being asked. Dudley had told Harry he didn't need to because seeing Harry slave away on cooking, or cleaning made him feel uncomfortable; like nothing had changed.

In some aspects, it hadn't. Or they hadn't, it was Harry that wasn't the same. Dad was in a constant bad mood now and seemed to have rededicated his life to snapping at Harry with snide comments, most of which centred around the wizards or Voldemort or the war. He'd use any excuse to become aggressive and try and rile Harry up.

It never worked. Harry was unexpressive and unwilling to rise to the taunts. The one time Dad had taken an ill-advised swing at Harry he hadn't even used magic to defend himself, but that didn't mean he hadn't. The fact that Harry, five foot something and probably weighing less than Dudley's mother was able to take down a man twice his size and triple his weight, well, it shouldn't have been a surprise, but that's what Dudley had been.

Little had come from that particular confrontation other than Dad not trying anything physical again. It was something to be glad for but Harry seemed perpetually unbothered by the abuse. Unbothered or just used to it? Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea, but Harry didn't have any other relatives that Dudley knew about, and the wizards weren't an option.

Mum's behaviour hadn't been that much better but she was quieter about her displeasure. She always had been. She excelled at being passive aggressive which was even easier for Harry to play oblivious too. It was all water off a ducks back. Because he was turning such a trained eye away, that could be why he never saw how Mum would look at him.

Dudley caught her staring a lot, when she forgot. It was sort of…forlorn, wistful maybe, but Dudley couldn't say he understood it. He was supposed it was to do with Aunt Lily but he never asked, never called her on it. Whatever it was that shadowed his Mum's face wasn't exactly positive. She left Harry alone for the most part.

Dudley, himself, spent a lot of time trying to get Harry into a routine. Harry liked his space; liked to bury himself under his sheets in the guest room. He didn't sleep a lot but some days rousing him from bed took a lot.

Dudley didn't want to force Harry but it wasn't exactly healthy, and he'd promised to show Harry what he'd missed since he;d been away. His cousin probably didn't realise the quickness of technological advances, not that he'd ever had much of a chance to experience it.

Dudley had decided on introducing Harry to his consoles, testing him out on games. Harry allowed Dudley the entrainment of watching him fail a few times, before Dudley actually started teaching. It was mostly fun, or the most fun they ended up having together with how much Harry was falling apart.

'I don't get it,' Harry had stated, almost pouty as he stared at the screen in front of him. 'That's not how magic works.'

Dudley had to sigh and he supposed it was his own fault by digging out his old copy of Skyrim. Something like COD wouldn't have brought about this problem. 'I know but I doubt there was a wizard on the development team, to tell the rest of them how to create the magic mechanics.

Harry huffs but his smile had been real enough.

He doesn't smile a lot so every one Dudley pulls out of him feels like a achievement. Not that all of them were honest. Just Harry losing some of the tension in his shoulders was enough, even if it felt like a compromise.

Somewhere between getting Harry to play with him on multiplayer and giving him a whirl on co-op with his clan, he'd fixed his computer; got it to startup and began to show him the safer areas of the internet. Harry is interested enough, but in a way some people are interested in the fact there is oxygen to breathe and convert.

Scott brings up the problem directly over one of their nightly chats. Dudley told him as much as he could, partly because he had to speak to someone, but mostly because he was bloody worried and the more time his cousin spent with them, the more worried he got. He'd explained that Harry had been through some shit, that his parents were killed when he was a baby and that their murderer had been involved with the terrorist attacks that'd been happening around England.

Dudley was vague and although Scott was curious, he never outrightly asked. Mostly, Dudley spoke about how Harry barely ate, couldn't sleep and woke up screaming the times he did. He'd stare into space occasionally, stop mid-sentence when he did speak and wasn't always…there, like he thought he was somewhere else entirely. It wasn't right.

Nothing Dudley did seemed to help. Co-op brought about Harry's snarkier side, and social interaction even over Discord livened him up a bit but he didn't seem any…more Harry-like. There were flashes but nothing really stuck. Harry would bury himself back into his skin in a moments notice and that wasn't…how he'd been.

Scott was smarter than Dudley ever could be. He just got things. Half the time Dudley wondered why Scott wanted to be friends with a dumbass like him. It didn't take him long to realise what was up, even with the omissions or the outright lies Dudley had fed with the truth. 'Dude,' Scott had addressed in a quiet moment of contemplation. 'Has he…you know, seen someone?'

Scott's wi-fi connection was good - great, but his room was dark with a single lamp to lit his face. It was enough to see his solemn expression. '…what do you mean?' Dudley asks slowly.

'Sometimes, Lee, you disappoint me.' Scott sighs deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose. 'Your cousin, Harry. Dude that's been destroying our rep on Discord? Has he seen a councillor or something?'

Dudley opened his mouth but nothing came our. 'No…you mean like, for mental stuff?'

Scott's brow furrows. 'Lee, I shouldn't need to tell you that Dude's not doin' great.'

Dudley hesitates before quietly exhaling. 'Yeah. No, I'm…more than stressed about it.'

'If everything you've said is true, Lee…' Scott pauses with rare uncertainty. 'It kind of sounds like he has PTSD.'

'PTSD?'

'Well, yeah. You've said he's gone through some shit and it sounds like he has a lot of the symptoms. Want me to send you a good webpage?'

'…yeah, okay.'

As per usual, Scott was right.

Dudley'd read every line and steadily got more concerned, as the symptoms were nearly entirely made up of the problems he'd noticed Harry as having. Dudley ended up searching for treatment but the top ones read as antidepressants or therapy or a mixture of both. Those weren't…possible. Those things came from seeing a doctor and getting assessed. Harry wasn't able to go their surgery and speak to a GP about how he'd fought a magical war, and how it now affected him.

Did wizards have stuff like that?

It didn't seem like it or they'd have done something already, wouldn't they?

Either way, Dudley couldn't take Harry to see a doctor to get it sorted, and the suggestions of "talking it out" wasn't really…

Harry wouldn't open up to Dudley. Harry talked to him well enough, and went along with stuff that he wanted them to do together - within reason, but it wasn't like they were close enough for something like that.

'Exposure therapy,' Scott said to him weeks later, long after Harry had gone to bed, and Dudley was trying to find a way to help that wouldn't shut Harry done or further hurt him. 'Is there, like, any way for you to be able to do that?'

'Exposure?…' Dudley repeated before it clicked; what he could do. What might help. 'I've got it.' Dudley sprung from his swivel chair, clutching at his monitor. 'Scott, mate, I know I promised you that second Nerve-Gear…'

Scott's eyes widened spectacularly and he sulked but he was a nice guy. 'If you think it'll help,' he'd muttered in agreement, arms crossed over his chest because he hadn't been able to afford the system. Dudley had ended up ordering two for them to do together. 'I want a go eventually though!'

'Sure, give it a few weeks and we'll switch. Harry thinks you're an okay dude,' Dudley had agreed.

A few hours later (because Dudley's sleeping pattern was that of your typical gamer), at breakfast, Dudley brought it up just as Harry finished serving them and had sat down himself. 'So, bro,' he began as Harry started cutting his bacon to pieces. He needed the fat but Dudley wished he wouldn't mutilate it so much. 'There's this game…'

Harry looked at him with diluted amusement. 'Another one?'

'You should be more grateful,' Dad growled as he shovelled food into his mouth while Mum settled with ignoring the conversation in general.

'Yeah but this one's a bit different,' Dudley replies slowly. 'The game's like an RPG, called Sword Art Online but you play it on a Nerve-Gear. It's virtual reality; like if you were transported there. The Nerve-Gear interrupts the signals your brain sends to your body and relays it to your character, so playing will be like you're actually in the game.'

Throughout Dudley's explanation Harry got more and more nervous. Dudley's stomach shifted uncomfortably. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all -

'You'll be doing that with him,' Mum butts in, her hands like stone around her mug as she stares coolly at Harry.

Harry frowned at her. 'I don't -'

'I don't care. That game has been all over the news since it was announced that the EU was allowing the ridiculousness into our borders. I don't want Dudders doing it alone.' Mum's face is several types of disapproving. 'You will play it with him and keep him safe. Clear?'

'Crystal.'

Later, when Dad is at work and Mum had gone over for afternoon tea with a neighbour, Dudley had sat Harry down. 'With my magic,' Harry had started with brief hesitation. 'I'd be…worried about shorting the -'

'Nerve-Gear.'

'Right. I'd be worried about my magic shorting the Nerve-Gear out.' Harry sighs then, tired as he rubs his eyes. 'It doesn't really affect anything while I'm just using a set of controllers, but I'm not sure how my magic will behave if the Nerve-Gear sends my brain through the system.'

Dudley hadn't thought of that. 'Then…would you prefer if I called it off? Scott was going to have the second one, anyway -'

'I don't think I have much choice in the matter now,' Harry laughed dryly, shortly. The sound always tempering out before it could reach its height.

'No. No, dude.' Dudley shakes his head as he slides from his desk chair to join Harry on the bed. 'If you really don't think its a good idea -'

'It'll only be for a few hours anyway, right?' Harry dismisses like his knuckles weren't white. 'It should be fine.'

'…just a few hours.' Dudley nods as he bites into his lip.

And suddenly, it is November and Dudley's house receives a delivery from Argus. The Up driver comments on how lucky Dudley is to be one of the few people able to play the launch, when Dudley gets called down to sign for the package.

'You really don't have to have to,' he reaffirms even as he continues to set the game up on his computer. He didn't turn to speak to Harry who was still sat on his bed, NerveGear in his lap as his fingers lightly examined the headset. He hadn't moved from his position since Dad had shoved him inside.

But Dudley wanted to push Harry for his options. His cousin was just barely getting his grasp on gaming, and if Harry didn't feel safe then Dudley wanted Harry to decline. Harry didn't reply right away either, but Dudley had gotten used to that. In fact, he'd have been more surprised if there had been an immediate response.

Dudley continued the installation process. It was annoying as it was more complicated with setting up the two NerveGears to the one computer. It made a relatively simply program to install take twice as long. It was a compliant Dudley had seen kicking around the few English forums from the betas.

'Yeah,' Harry says. His voice was rough, as disused as it was, Dudley was just grateful anything came out at all. 'Yeah, I know but…I'd rather avoid an argument to be honest.'

'Harry,' Dudley sighs even as he finally finishes the finicky installation process and clicks the finish with a bit more force than necessary. He turns in his chair to face his cousin. 'I shouldn't have mentioned it in front of Mum, I forgot that she hadn't been too pleased with me ordering it.'

"Not too pleased" was perhaps kind to her reaction when Dudley had let slip that he had bought SAO. Their local newspaper was especially against the idea of NerveGear. The rag liked to comment on how "dangerous" this generation was getting and how it was a "direct result from the media they consumed". The amount of hate they spewed made Dudley irritated just reading the headlines.

'Don't worry about it.' Harry shrugged noncommittally as he tilted he NerveGear in his hands.

'I don't get how she thinks you'll be able to protect me anyway,' Dudley comments and even if that'd come out of his mouth with an air of humour, he genuinely didn't. His mum's comprehension of technology was about on level with Harry's own.

Harry's face softened even if he mockingly scowled at Dudley. 'What, you don't think the Chosen One is strong enough?'

Dudley made a show of rolling his eyes. Harry would say shit like that even with the effects of the war still written all over him, with his spine bent like he was Atlas and he was getting tired of holding up a world, with his scars and nightmares. 'Yeah, Cuz. You're plenty strong, "chosen one" or not, but that's not what I meant.'

Hopefully, if everything went right, then SAO could help. A new environment would be healthy and "exposing" Harry to some non-life-threatening combat should be good. SAO didn't have a magic system so it wouldn't touch too close to home. The FullDive should be…safe.

'Seriously though, if you're really against playing than you can just wait in my room while I Dive, until I log out.' The suggestion is offered even if Dudley doesn't think Harry would take it.

Harry shakes his head with a minuscule smile tilting his mouth. It was an expression Dudley longed to burst into something brighter, but there were days he couldn't even coax out that much.

'No, I did promise.'

No you didn't, Dudley thinks in resignation. You're too careful for that.

'I have to protect you from all those cyber monsters, right?' Harry teased and wasn't that a fucking miracle. 'Besides, I didn't just spend an hour fiddling with your computer to create that profile for that character, for nothing.'

'Your avatar, Wizard,' Dudley corrects lightly. They'd set all of that up earlier after Dudley had helped Harry set his NerveGear up. Some of that had been awkward, but…funny. The character creation and account start up had taken the longest, because Dudley had been determined for Harry to pick his own handle.

('Why can't I just be "Harry"?'

'Because that's your real name. And you don't think that the other nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-seven players, someone else will pick something close to Harry.'

'It's my name.'

'Exactly!')

Eventually Harry had seemed to get that that had been a no-go and had picked something else, but Dudley didn't think that his cousin had taken any of it all that seriously. Well, his funeral. Harry can suffer the puns of his bad choices. Dear God.

'Just…' Harry murmurs, seems to falter for a moment before he comes back stronger. 'Don't blame me if my magic ends up frying your computer.'

Dudley snorts even as he has to contain a wince at the thought of the computer, the one he had worked so hard to make, going up in flames. 'Yeah, yeah.' That wasn't something he wanted Harry to be concerned about, though. Besides, it was just one FullDive. Just one. Dudley doubted that something would go wrong right away.

Turning back to his monitor, Dudley noted that it had thankfully finished its reboot and was waiting for him to input his password. Logging back in, he waited for a moment as the black screen turned to display his background image. Seconds later everything had loaded.

He glanced to the corner of his screen for the time. 08:48.

Nearly time.

'All done?' Harry asks and Dudley almost jumps out of his skin. He looked over his shoulder to see his cousin leaning over him, propping himself up by the edge of the desk while his other hand held the NerveGear.

'Would you stop doing that!' Dudley snaps half-heartedly as he grasps hold of his chest, as his heart had just tried to exit staging fucking left. Harry had always been a fast little git, he had just turned into a frigging ninja now. His footsteps were bloody nonexistent.

Harry raised an eyebrow and didn't apologise. Dudley didn't expect him to, heart attack notwithstanding. Those skills had most likely saved Harry's life. 'Yeah. It's finished,' Dudley breathes. 'Last chance to pull out.'

'Hm. "That's what she said",' Harry quoted with his fingers because he was a brat.

'I regret ever introducing you to my friends.' Dudley cringes. He'd felt so immature when he'd first gotten Harry on Discord, because Harry just seemed so much older. He put up with them all, tolerant and had teased them so hard but it was obvious that although he got on well enough with everyone, that the differences were evident. They'd thought Harry was cool though, weirdness included.

'No you don't,' Harry laughed.

'If we're doing this than go sit down before you really do kill me.' Dudley jokingly pushes Harry back towards the bed, as the clock ticks towards the launch. The timing for this was a bit weird because the servers came online everywhere. It was international, too which. Yeah, it just seemed odd.

Sword Art Online was the first VRMMO of its time, so even people who were unbothered by the first title for FullDive had picked up a copy. There were worries about the servers crashing but Dudley figured they knew what they were doing, even if he'd have wanted it to start a little earlier. In Japan it was one in the evening, but England? They were eight hours ahead.

Though they had spent most of the day for set up. It would have been quick enough if not for Harry and having to register the two NerveGears to one computer.

'Only a few hours,' Harry says for confirmation as he limps towards the bed.

'Yeah. Wouldn't want to get too tired even if I do have my bodyguard there with me,' Dudley jokes as he picks his Nervegear up from his desk. He makes sure the connecting led is properly inserted before he pushes the headset on and that the WAN LED is winking at him.

Harry huffs in disgruntlement as he settles on the bed. 'Whatever you're paying this bodyguard doesn't seem enough,' he retorts while putting his own NerveGear on, automatically moving the visor into place. His glasses had been gone since he first turned up, but he'd been gone for so long they didn't notice till later. Harry mentioned some kind of "correction" when it was brought up, but said little else about it, which was fine. Dudley decided just to enjoy the benefits.

'Shove off,' Dudley grumbles as he rolls his shoulders, wishing he'd bought that gaming chair while he'd had the chance. The introductions said that players' had to be in inclined positions, with the NerveGear connected to power for the first play-through. He only had one outlet so He'd given Harry the bed where the power source was near, while Dudley used a USB cable connected to his computer for his.

Harry had made minimal fuss but he had tried to fight it. 'It's your bed, Dudley,' he'd argued but Harry needed it more. Sitting without his legs stretched out was difficult for Harry and Dudley had no idea if there were any other injuries he didn't know about.

'Remember what you have to do?'

Harry sighs as he tries to settle on the mattress. 'Yeah, once I have this contraption on my head I say the starting phrase and it'll intimate the programme. When everything goes black I shouldn't worry because that's the machine working, and not me, ya'know, dying,' Harry stressed through his teeth. 'Once that's done there should be a shit tone of colours flying at me, which is fine too. Not like sniffing glue gone wrong at all.'

'Have a lot of experience with sniffing glue?' Dudley asks wryly because he may have gone through the process a lot. Nagged, maybe.

'Shut up.' Harry's tone is petulant as Dudley fixes his visor to cover his eyes. 'Since you've already set an account up to this headset, my details and settings should fill automatically and if not, then logging in will be "self-explanatory".'

'Right,' Dudley agrees. 'I knew you had it in you.'

Harry heaves a long suffering sigh.

'…remember to wait around the spawn point if you arrive first and don't see me, okay?' Dudley says.

'Whose the bodyguard again?' Harry mutters but it's mostly in jest.

Dudley shifts down in his chair to get more comfortable as they go quiet. Spying the digital clock holo in his visor he blinks at it. 08:59.

He'll think about that one minute when time becomes scarce and things change.

Right now, it was just a minute. Later it would be the time he wished he could undo when playing SAO turned into playing SAO on fear of death, with thousands of other players, all not wanting to die or wanting to die but afraid of when it'd happen.

For now, all of that was in front of them. A nightmare still creeping, waiting to pounce.

The minute passed and with the NerveGear on and waiting, the two cousins exclaimed in unison:

'Link Start!'

And as reality faded and rebuilt itself, everything began anew.

/line break because "horizontal line" refuses me/

Con/textual vomit: So phew. Finished.

By the way, just so there's no disappointing suspense, Harry won't be meeting Kirito until he's had some adventures of his own, learnt how to better use the game, and levelled up so Kirito won't think of Harry as weak. That, and I need to build this up a bit.

Thanks for reading!

(First Uploaded: 30/07/15) (Updated: 31/07/15) (Updated: 11/10/15) (Rewritten: 18/03/18)

OZ