I have never cried so much writing a book.
I did not choose who would live or die. I was building up to killing a certain character (and knew there would have to be more than one in a battle of this magnitude), but when I reached the chapter to have to write it, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I just couldn't do it. I wrote all the way to the end of the battle and its Aftermath without making a decision, so I let the Force choose for me.
I put every Living Legend-named character in a bucket and rolled a 20-sided die.
It took a lot of Jedi control not to roll or draw again.
Zach Vanech is the only loss not on the list. Because of plot, the only names excluded from the draw were Luke, Kess, and Nik. I rolled once more (and got 2) to bucket-pick from those on who would be wounded instead of dead. Once I learned who we lost, the only correction I made was Luke's reaction in Aftermath because he would know about Han as soon as Leia found out. All the buildup, relationships, 'locket help', and back-story, up to and including Chapter 39 Aftermath, is as was originally drafted.
The List includes exactly 14 named fictional characters.
It was the hardest chapter to write.
Go read it again.
Because the names beyond the fictional are monumentally more important.
No war is without casualties. Putting myself in Kess's shoes as she read The List was harder to endure than it was to imagine. At the end of Desert Storm, during which I served on active duty, The List of U.S. Navy KIA was half as long as this one, but it still included one of my closest friends.
As I tried to recreate the anguish of reading such a List, I wanted to pepper it with names not already in the story. I wanted you to feel the truth of it; to search and pause and try to recognize if this name was someone you knew . . . then pause a beat longer to realize that—even if you don't know who it was—this name is still a life lost—a parent, a child, a best friend, a true love.
At first, I considered making up a bunch of random names, but then I was reminded there was already a List out there than needed greater attention. I was surprised to discover no one has yet compiled it. So I set out to do it myself.
The List is incomplete because the main Wikipedia article does not include them all. Toward the middle of my research, fewer articles included the names of the victims, so I started digging into the referenced news reports, and even those grew shorter and more succinct as The List went on and on.
I tried not to include the perpetrators, but some probably bled through. I tried to include the wounded, but most of those victims were not identified. More than a few were armed guards and police officers unable to stop the battle in progress. More than you would guess were too young to own a Star Wars action figure. Most of them were not old enough to vote.
The List is the victims of America at war with itself.
Just schools. Just shootings.
From Columbine High School in 1999 to the writing of the chapter in February 2018.
This isn't about politics; this is about being a Jedi on this planet. Find your peace. Keep your cool. Talk it out. Be patient. Compromise. Reach across the aisle and shake the hand of your enemy—because that's the only real way to stop a war.
Vote.
If you can't vote yet, speak up anyway, and repeat it over and over . . . and over . . . and over again.
On every channel.
In every venue.
In your loudest voice.
Until every living soul complies with the order:
"Cease Fire!"