23

Solace

Luna wandered around the ruins of her old castle for what had to have been the hundredth time. She had lowered the sun several hours before, and the last beams of sunlight finally faded from the sky. Moonlight flickered in and out between pillars and broken walls as she walked, her hoofsteps echoing softly. She felt something, walking alone through this place, but didn't quite know what.

She turned a corner and found herself in a grand room, albeit without its ceiling. She walked to the spiral stairs at the head of the room, exactly where she remembered them. She climbed the stairs, her wing caressing the old wooden banister. The steps creaked and groaned with the burden of a pony, but they did not seem ready to break.

She stopped halfway, gazing at the room she left behind. Tapestries lined the sides of the walls: indigo cloth emblazoned with moons adorned one side, orange cloth with suns on the other. At least, that's how they used to be, and how Luna chose to see them. Now, the colors had faded, growing lighter; the cloth had become tattered, frayed, torn; some were half gone, others just heaps on the floor; one or two were missing altogether.

Luna turned back to the stairs and resumed climbing. She was grateful for the time alone, even if it wasn't necessarily happy. Even after coming back as Nightmare Moon several years before, she never was able to visit the old castle, not properly, not like she could now. At the top of the stairs, she realized what she was feeling: closure. Closure for her actions a thousand years ago, she presumed. It wasn't exactly relief, but it felt as if the world was telling her, "It's done." She cast her eyes again over the room below.

A timberwolf's distant howl snapped her out of her thoughts. She shook her head. She didn't know at that point where to walk. After looking between two hallways on her left and right, she chose the right, leading to the bedrooms. She passed windows, both broken and whole, and made her way through various other hallways and peeked in a few rooms, all in various states of disrepair. She sometimes stopped to look at an old painting or statue she had forgotten about. She was almost to the bedrooms when she passed a familiar set of doors. Their balcony.

She slowly pushed the doors open, and they creaked loudly. She stepped onto the old marble balcony and looked around outside. Attempting to suppress her recurrent nightmare, she looked at the view. It differed greatly from how she remembered it last. Trees had come and gone, she expected that, but what surprised her were the mountains. They had shifted, ever-so-slightly. Some grew taller, others shrunk, and many had moved away from their original spots. Even mountains, as mighty and solid as they were, succumbed to the curse of time.

Breathing a heavy sigh, she turned and walked back inside. The balcony wasn't far from where the bedrooms were. She turned a corner and was shocked to see only one door on the opposite wall. The other, which would have lead to her room, instead was a gigantic hole. By some strange coincidence, filling the hole was her moon, full and bright.

Passing more suits of armor, she walked towards her old bedroom. She looked at the bricks, some as big as her head, splaying where they met open air. Many had charred faces, and she couldn't remember if that had been her or somepony else. She picked up a smaller brick and examined it. One side was completely charred, black, to the point where she couldn't make anything out on its surface. Every other side remained a light grey, and they proudly bore their scars and chips and cracks. In a sudden burst of anger, she cast it on the opposite wall, shattering it, disturbing a few ravens which were near the impact.

Wiping away a stray tear, she walked to her sister's door. Nervously, almost sheepishly, she creaked it open. She saw books strewn about on the floor, some open, others bookmarked, and Luna stood confused for a moment. With a small smile, she remembered this had become Twilight's study after the bombardment.

Luna saw her sister's diary on the bed, propped up on a pillow. She levitated it towards herself but regretted it immediately. She couldn't so much as read a word before she flinched at the sight of her sister's writing. Her heart twisted into a knot once again, and she staggered with a cry. Kneeling down beside the bed, she closed the book and threw it against the headboard.

"Where art thou?!" She pulled at the moth-eaten blankets. "Why didst thou have to leave?!" She took a few shaky breaths to control herself. "I am so alone, Tia. I cannot... I c-cannot do this. Where art thou?" She pulled the musty blankets around herself and put her head in her hooves. "I am so alone... I am so s-scared, Tia. Will I ever see thee again?" She sobbed for a while, her tears soaking the blankets. "I c-cannot keep going, Tia. Will I see thee again?"

She crept onto the bed and lay there, quietly crying. "I am so sorry, Tia. I am so s-s-sorry I left thee. It should have b-been me, not thee. I did this. T-this is all my f-fault... this is all my fault... t-t-this is all... my fault... my fault... I am so sorry... s-so sorry..."

Luna opened her eyes and found herself lying in an unfamiliar place. She expected to be in her nightmare, watching her sister vanish once more before her, but she instead was surrounded by deep green grass. Confused, she felt the grass with her wings, thinking it might be scratchy or stiff, but it was soft, almost like silk or velvet. She looked around, feeling something was off about the light. It wasn't coming from above, but from nearby.

She saw near her side a thin crystal, about a yard tall, growing out of the ground. It was formed like a white obelisk, giving off soft white light to its surroundings. The crystal emitted tiny glimmers and twinkles of light which floated in the air around it. She looked around and saw more crystals like it, lighting up small patches of grass. She turned her gaze upwards, lost in wonder.

The night sky above her was completely different than she remembered. There were more stars than even she fathomed were possible. The backdrop for the stars was a brilliant and deep indigo, swirling with soft magentas and purples. She stared in awe for a while, wondering who could have painted the sky like that.

She stood, but before she could take a step, she noticed she was near a cliff. Curious, she walked over to the edge. Instead of a river or valley, she saw the shell of purple extend below her and what seemed to be small grassy islands suspended in the air far away. She turned around, completely bewildered, and was met with a more wondrous sight.

In the distance, she saw giant white pillars with beams of light shooting from their peaks. The small white crystals dotted the landscape before her. She discovered she too was on an island, albeit more massive. The pillars far off appeared to have water flowing from their tops, filling small lakes at their bases. Small rivers flowed from these lakes, feeding into bigger waterfalls, which in turn cascaded off of the island into the night sky below. It reminded her of Canterlot but in every way more majestic and more beautiful.

She traced the far cliff side all the way back to herself. She looked around and saw she was on a small peninsula of sorts. It arced to the side for a ways before connecting to the rest of the island. Not really knowing what else to do, she began walking along the neck of land towards the main part of the island.

As she walked, she couldn't help but look across at the pillars. They towered above the grassy landscape, and their beams of light cut into the night sky. She looked down and noticed small alcoves running alongside the island at differing heights. She saw one waterfall flow in between one alcove and the cliff side, disappearing from sight before emerging again at the bottom in a sparkling mist. She was a bit surprised she didn't see any trees or flowers or really much of anything else.

She didn't know what this place was, but somehow she felt safe there, an odd sense of peace and warmth filling the air. She looked to the sky once again. She hoped to spy a constellation she might have missed before that could hint at where she was, but the stars seemed almost completely evenly coated. Only a few outshone others.

"Luna?"

Luna stood rigid, her ears scanning round about her. She looked ahead but could not see anyone. "Hello?" she asked hesitantly. "Is anypony there?"

"Luna?" It was a little louder this time. Luna tried to see if anypony was above or below her, but couldn't see a soul. She wished she could follow the sound, but it was as if the voice emanated from the stars themselves.

"Who is there?" Luna called out, nearly spinning on the spot. "S-show yourself!" She strained her ears, but couldn't hear anything except her own breathing. She began to shake. "W-w-who are you? Why are you here?"

"Luna." Her voice was right behind her. Luna immediately recognized her voice. But it couldn't be her, she thought to herself. How could it be? She slowly turned around and saw a soft white glow. She looked at her face and locked eyes with her, stared at her, dumbfounded.

It was Celestia. She was far more magnificent than Luna remembered. Her mane and tail were no longer full of cool hues. They were pure gold, glittering as though little stars were embedded within, and they billowed out majestically. Her coat was pure white and glowed soflty, and her royal ornaments were not to be found. Her countenance was radiant, and she wore a soft smile.

"T-Tia?" Luna croaked.

Celestia stretched out her wings. "Hello, Luna." Luna's knees shook, and her head swam with doubts and questions. She hesitantly took one step, fighting the urge to stop and think. She took another slow step and the doubts lifted. She ran to her sister and collapsed in her hooves, sobbing. Celestia wrapped Luna in her wings, hugging her. Celestia was so soft and warm, surrounding Luna like a blanket. All of Luna's fears were swept away. It was the happiest she had ever felt, as if her very soul was billowing up in joy, but a single dart of remorse pierced through.

"I-I am so sorry."

"Oh, Luna, whatever for?"

Luna let go of Celestia, looking at the ground. "Thou... thou didst die because of me."

"Luna," Celestia said, lifting Luna's chin to look at her eyes, "why thinkest thou this?"

"Because I..." her voice began to break, "I ran whilst thou wast killed. I-I was a coward, and thou d-didst die because of it."

Celestia set her hoof down. "Thou speakest hard words against thyself, and I see not why." Luna looked confused, her eyebrows scrunched up. Celestial smiled. "Luna, didst thou kill me?"

"I— well, n-no, but—"

"Then, in mine eyes, thou needst not apologize."

"But—"

"Nevertheless, I forgive thee. I forgive thee in hopes thou wilt forgive thyself. I wish for thee to have joy, dear sister, not for thee to dwell on that which hath already passed, that which cannot be changed." Luna's lip trembled, and she lowered her head. Celestia gently lifted Luna's head again and smiled. "Luna, thou art not thy mistakes. Thou must learn this." She sighed. "I am not angered in thy shortcomings, I am saddened. I want thee to grow, Luna. It pains me to see thee unable to forgive thyself." Luna nodded meekly. Celestia looked at her sincerely. "Canst thou do that for me? Canst thou forgive thyself? Canst thou love thyself?"

Luna nodded again, more earnestly. "I shall try, Tia, I shall try." She fought tears again. "I just... I still wish thou couldst be with me. I miss thee."

"As do I thee." Celestia looked around. "Walk with me. I want to talk." She stretched out a wing, turning Luna around, and they began walking towards the white pillars. Luna continued to look downwards, but she felt calm and at peace now.

It was a little while, after they had left the peninsula and reached the main island, before Luna spoke again. "This whole ordeal hath reminded me greatly of Nightmare Moon, yet I feel as though it was far worse this time. I had already learnt my lesson once before."

"This lesson was not the same," Celestia said. Luna looked back at her sister. "Thou first learnt to control thy jealously. Now thou hast learnt to silence thy fears." She sighed. "Thou art not the only one to have learnt lessons, Luna."

"Thou as well? Of what?"

"Only one lesson, one I learnt far too late both times."

"Both times?"

"Thou first wast jealous of me, and I heeded thee not. Thou then hadst a warning for me, and again I heeded thee not. I could have prevented much sorrow and heartache both times had I listened to thee. It should be me, not thee, who apologizes."

"I..." Luna didn't know Celestia had regretted all of those things. She didn't quite know what to say. "I... I forgive thee. But Tia, surely thou needst not... apologize." Realization dawned on Luna, and she slowed her steps. She hugged her sister again. She had a thousand more questions she wanted to ask her sister, but one stood out among the rest. She felt ashamed, though, and couldn't bring herself to ask it.

"What troubleth thee?" Celestia asked, as if reading Luna's thoughts.

"'Tis nothing," said Luna quickly, "'tis nothing,".

"Come now. I know thou desirest to ask something of me."

"Did..." Luna shook her head, feeling childish. "Did it... hurt? To die?"

Celestia closed her eyes, seemingly deep in thought. She sighed. "If I did feel pain, I no longer remember it." She looked at her sister. "Sorry. I think not that assures thee well."

"Wouldst thou say it mattereth not if I were to feel pain, if I remember it not?" Celestia nodded, and Luna couldn't help but breath a sigh of relief. "That... that does make me feel better somewhat." Luna began to have more courage to ask questions, now that the big one was out of the way.

They continued to walk towards the center of the island. They neared the pillars, and Luna couldn't help but be in wonder. The pillars were actually immense white crystals, giant versions of the small ones she saw scattered around her. The sparkling water appeared to flow from base of the beams of light themselves. The waterfalls on each crystal were somehow more beautiful now than when Luna first saw them. The structures themselves seemed to glow with some form of magic, almost as if they were alive, and they too had tiny glimmers dancing in the space around them.

"Tia," Luna finally asked, "where are we?"

"We are on one of the many Elysian Isles," she said, gesturing to the grand vista, "where I now dwell. As far as I am aware, all those who were morally upstanding in their mortal lives find eternal rest here."

Luna slowed, looking down. "Doth this mean I have passed on?" she asked quietly.

Celestia tilted her head. "What meanest thou?"

"Thou hast passed on, and now I am here with thee in this eternal rest. Would that not mean I have passed on also?"

Celestia smiled soothingly. "No. Thou art not dead." Celestia paused for a moment. "This can all be likened to a dream thou art having in a most deep sleep. Thy spirit is here with me, yes, but thou art not truly here, not eternally. Thy body remaineth untouched in the castle ruins, and there shall it wait for thee to return unto it."

"How dost thou know of a surety it is truly temporary?"

"Look upon thyself, then me. What noticest thou?" Luna glanced between herself and Celestia, and she understood. She wasn't glowing softly like her sister. Celestia chuckled. "Everypony else I have met here gloweth to a degree."

She looked at Celestia, still confused. "But why? How? How did I come to be here?"

"Worry not, for I have brought thee here." Celestia's smile faltered. "Thou wert so despondent and so disheartened, I... I brought thee here for respite and for reassurance, so I could help thee."

"How?" Luna repeated.

Celestia's face fell, and she spoke as though pained. "Thou didst much of the work for me. Thy will and desire to endure wore down over time. It was simple for me. All I needed to do was..." She swept weakly with her wing. "... take thee with me."

Luna stopped walking. "Then why?" she said, now with tears in her eyes. "Why now?" Celestia stopped but did not look back. "Why not many months ago, before these feelings could fester and wither away my soul, yea, my very will, to where it were so simple for thee to take me?"

Her voice began to break again. "I missed thee so m-much, Tia! I cried out to thee d-day and night b-but only felt more wretched, m-more ashamed, more d-disgusted by it! I thought thou wert truly gone forevermore, o-or thou perchance didst live elsewhere only to forsake me!" She stood, shaking. She looked at Celestia with pleading eyes. "Why didst thou wait so long to commune with me?"

Silence followed for a few moments. Celestia hung her head, a glistening tear falling. "I had supposed, if I were to give thee time, thou wouldst find comfort elsewhere. It appears I was mistaken yet again." She turned around, looking at Luna solemnly. "Pray forgive me for grieving thee so." She opened her mouth to speak but shook her head, instead walking to Luna and hugging her again.

Luna collapsed again into sobs, every drop of remorse and neglect in her heart now cleansed with love. It took a few minutes for her to regain her composure again. When she did, she spoke in a whisper. "I f-forgive thee."

They passed more crystals. The tallest of them seemed to form a circle in the middle of the island, and in the center of them was another glowing pool. A glow of red and gold caught Luna's attention, and she looked up to see Philomena, looping and cooing gracefully in-between the white crystals. Luna felt a flash of sadness for the phoenix but was soon enough at peace again.

"Thou art not alone here then?"

"No. We are alone now, for we are on a separate island. If thou lookest around," she pointed to the far horizon, "thou canst see other islands in the distance. There are a most numerous host of ponies in the Elysian Isles, and many were glad upon my arrival. Most, however, were grieved. They thought my return too soon. For a time, Elysium was peaceful. Ponies would trickle in, and I would greet them. Reunions were always joyous. Then I grew saddened, as I began to see ponies arriving in greater and greater numbers."

Luna remembered the newspaper. "The Wonderbolts?"

"Yea. I greeted them one by one as they entered." She sighed again. "That is one pain Elysium hath no remedy for yet. I fear, until all have passed on, pain shall not truly cease."

A thought occurred to Luna. "How is Rainbow Dash?" Celestia tilted her head and furrowed her brows. "The friend of Twilight Sparkle," Luna reiterated, "the Element of Loyalty. Surely thou hadst seen her when she entered. Is she happy here?"

"I do not recall ever meeting her."

Luna's eyes widened. "Does that mean she still lives?"

Celestia nodded. "It would appear so."

"We believed her dead."

Celestia chuckled. "I can tell."

"I need to tell Twilight this! I..." She stood, thinking over how she would explain it all. It was too surreal, too grand. She sighed. "I shall tell her and hope she hath faith enough to believe in my words, and if she hath not, the truth shall manifest itself unto her, I suppose. Eventually." Luna's ear twitched, hearing a voice.

Celestia looked around. "Who is it?"

Luna tilted her head, and her face fell. "It soundeth like Twilight. She is calling for me. But," she looked at Celestia. "I do not want to leave ther."

"Neither did I not want to leave thee."

"Could I not tarry longer?"

"Thou hast duties to preform, Luna, and lives to be a part of. My journey, however abrupt its end, is finished. Thy journey still awaits to be completed. Besides, thou must wake up at some time."

Tearing up, Luna hugged Celestia. "I will miss thee."

Celestia wrapped her wings around Luna. "As will I thee."

"Will I be able to visit thee again?"

"I shall always be with thee." Celestia pointed to Luna's heart. "I shall strengthen thee in times of weakness, I shall comfort thee in times of sorrow, and I shall welcome thee when thou wilt return."

Luna hugged Celestia one last time. "I love thee, Tia."

"I love thee, Luna."