Chapter 40.

AN: 2 every1 hu kepz flaming diz GIT S LIF I bet u proly odnt no hu gerod way is ur proly al prepz and pozers!11111 neway sum1 hakked in2 mi akkount in November and dey put up my last chaptah but now der is a new 1. im surry 4 nut updatin while but ive been rilly bizzy. im trying 2 finish da story b4 da new movie kumz out. Im gong on vacation 4 a mons I wont be bak until abott 2 weeks. OMFG drako iz so hot in all da pix 4 da new movie!111 I wunted dem 2 put a kameo by geord way lol he hsud play drako. if u flame ill slit muh risztz!11 raven u rok gurl hav fun in ingland.

AN: To everyone who keeps flaming this GET A LIFE. I bet you probably don't know who Gerad Way is. (I'm gonna be honest, I have no clue who Gerard Way is.) You're probably all preps and posers!1111 (Sniffs) Anyways someone hacked into my account in November and they put up my last chapter (Yes and we love our new mommy…) but now there is a new one. I'm sorry for not updating for a while but I've been really busy. I'm trying to finish the story before the new movie comes out. I'm going on vacation for a month. I won't be back until about 2 weeks. OMFG Draco is so hot in all the pics in the new movie!111 I wanted them to put a cameo by Gerard Way lol He should play draco. If you flame I'll slit my wrists! (Logically you should be dead with all the flames in the reviews but…) 11 Raven(Grrr….)you rock have fun in England.

Half of my brain cells were sacrificed in translating this shit.

When I wook up I wuz in a strange room. She wakes up in a coffin everyday, so this is a nice change of pace for a while I loked around I wuz wearing da same outfit I had when is performed wif XBlakXTearX!11 I looked arund confusedly. It wuz da Norse's office but it looked difrent! Oh god did she go back into the past by commiting suicide? Do I even want to ask the logic behind that? On da wall wuz a pik of Marlyin Munzon Marlyin Munzon? I love him.!1111 (just imagin dat he is an 80s goffik band 2 ok koz he is more old den panic? at da dizcko or mcr What is she talking about? Are these goth things that I don't know about?) der wuz also a goffik blak Beatles Gothic. Black. Beatles….Fuck off calander with a picture of the beetlez werring iyeliner and blak cloves. On it said '1980.'

"OMFG! Im back in Tim again again what's ebony doing with tim, the black guy?!111" I screamed loudly. Suddenly Satan(dis is actually voldimort 4 photo refrenss! I'm sorry what?). Voldimort wuz wearing a blak leather Jackson, Don't ask. I have no clue either blak tight jeans and fishnet pantz. He looked so sexah I almost had an orgy Orgy: A sexual act in which more than one partners are involved in sexual intercourse!11

"OMFG Enoby r u ok." He asked gothikally. My brain is melting.

"Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation." I snapped sexily. Why is she snapping at him? He asked about your well being which frankly is amazing since nobody cares about you "OMG am I dedd?"

*A scream of joy is heard from the other side of the planet* koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from Jame's gun. I also rememberd cing Drako doing it wif Snap!111

I'm gonna check in with my psychiatrist later to forget that scene.

I guessed dat when I had slit mi wrists I had went bak in tim instead of dieing. Well. Logic goes out the window. I knoew I could go forward in time if I found a time-toner or da tim machine. Man this Tim guy is a machine? Sexah!

"No ur not dead." Satan reassured The devil reassured her. Of course. That's comforting.

suicidally as he smokd a cigarette sexily and smoke came all over his face. "Ur a vampire so u kant die frum a bullet. Hellsing would like to digress Cum on Gladly now lets go c how Hairy's dad Hairy's dad? He's even more hairier than hairy. is doing."

I noo dat da real reason I didn't die from da ballet was koz I was from da future. What's all these weird time laws. Prince of Persia would like to have a word with you. "WTF! James almust shot Luciious!" I said indigoally. I knew that James had really ben possezzed No it was Snape possessing Snape, but I didn't want him2 know I knew.

'Yah I know but he had a headache he wz under a lot of stress." Lol yeah. He had a headache that's why he casually shot his own friend. Makes perfect sense to me. Satan reasoned evilly. I told you. The devil is a lie *Whoosh*

"I guess that's ok." I said because James hadn't really shot Lucian. Also I noo that Lucian wood now have 2 arms instead of 1. What? He has had two arms this entire time you gibbering monkey! You said so yourself. I walked seduktivly NO outside with Satan. Suddeni I saw a totally sexi goffik bi guy! How do you know he's bisexual?11 He had bleched blond hair wiv blak streaks up 2 his ears and he wuz wearing goffik blak iliner, a blak Green Day shirt (it showed billy joel wiv bolnd hair since it was da eighties Ahhh man eighties. The good old days…which I don't know anything about because I wasn't born yet.), blak congress shoes and black baggy pants. He walked in all sexly like Gerrd way in the vido for I Don't 3 u lyk I did yesterday and you cud see a blak tear on his face lyk da wmn in dat video. Just gonna ignore that for the sake of my sanity "Hey." He sed all qwietly and goffically.

"Who da fuck is that?" I asked angrly cos I did nut kno him. I'm also randomly angry at people that I don't know. Makes a good first impression.

"Dis is…Hedwig So the bisexual guy with bleach blonde hair and all gothic clothes was Harry's owl? You know what. I'm done. I'm gothic and I'm also converting to Satanism. If an owl can be goffic and sexah, So can I !11" Sed Volximort. "He used to be in XBlackXTearX 2 but he had 2 dropp out koz he broke his arm. His wing or his plumage.

"Hey Hedwig." I said seductively Hoot Hoot Hedwig replied back evn tho I wuz nut tring to b.

"Lol hi Enoby." He answered but then he ran away bcos he had hair of magical creature. HAHAHA. Okay. Hedwig is officaly my favourite goth in this cornucopia of Goths. He was humming Welcum 2 da Blak Prade under his breth( I no dat is not 80s but pretend it is ok! I've been pretending that I understand what you're saying this entire time Ebony.)

"Bye." I sed all sexily.

"Dat was Hedwig. He used 2 b my boifreind Voldemort was in a relationship with Harry's owl? That's a ship that I never thought I would see. Let's all tick that off our bucket list.

but we broke up. No. I was really shipping them hard. One, a dark villain; the other a delievery owl. The chemistry is real." Satan said sadly, luking at his blak nails.

"OMFG I can get u bak 2gether!" I said fingering something EWWWWW I didn't know wuz in my pocket- a blak Kute is What we Aim 4 cideo ipod that I could take videos wif I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. (duz ne1 elze no about dem? dey kik azz! Fucking prep).

"Ok u can 4get about ur class for now, Hedwig. Im going 2 show u something grate!1" I led them to da Great Hall. "Cumon u guys." I am not amused.

Lucian, James, Serious and Snake were all in da Grate Hall. Lucian woudnt talk wiv James because he had tried 2 shoot him. Yes. It might be a little awkward since HE TRIED TO FUCKING SHOOT HIM!

"Go fuk urself you fukking douche!" he shouted at him. "Drako is never gong 2 b frends with vampire now!1" Firstly how do they know who their kids are going to be? Also James, Harry and Draco have been in a relationship and have had sex. Them not being friends is a ship that has sailed.

"Yah go fuck urself Samaro!" Snape She actually spelt his name right? 10 points to gryfindor.

But they aren't in Gryfindor.

Nobody cares you fuckin prep.

agreed but I noo he wuz lying koz it had been his folt James had almost shot Lucian.

"B quiet u guys." I said sexily. Mi plan waz working oot great What plan?. Now I kood make Voldement good wivout doing it with him. I doubt that Now Vampire's dad wood never die and "OK Satan and Hedwig, u guys can start making out. Uhhhh…well this is uncomfortable" I said and I started 2 film dem wiv da ipod. Stop it. Get some help Ebony.

"Kool." said Serious as Voldemort and Hedwig started 2 make out sexily. Yes, the evil wizard and the owl start making out. We watched as tdey started 2 take each odderz cloves off sexily Please stop. I can barely tolerate them making out. Samaro, Serious, Snake and Lucian all watched koz dey wer prolly bi. I noo Snape was bi. Who isn't bi? Next up Dumbledore is bi and he's in a relationship with Dobby.

"Oh my fukking god! Voldimort! Voldimort!" Somebody please kill me screamed Hedwig as his glock His glock? You know the 2nd amendment. Always keep it packin baby!

touched Voldemort's. I'm gonna go drink bleach now.

But suddenly everything stopped as da door opend and in kame…Dumblydore and Mr. Norris!111111111111 Are they bi too? Because I wouldn't be surprised at this point. My brain has been numbed by all the trauma I've suffered.