"You don't understand, Mom. You can't fix it." Sebastian stared into his coffee cup, tracing circles around the lip. "And don't give me that crap about parents knowing their kids better than they know themselves. I'm a grown man."

"Oh, that ship sailed long ago, Sebby," Robin said sadly. "I knew you inside out when you were a little boy. But you grew and changed and a bunch of life happened along the way. I still think of you as my baby, but you're not." She took a drink of her own coffee. "Maybe I don't understand...but maybe, I don't need to."

He glanced up. "Hmm?"

"You have a whole world inside of you that I'll never know, and that's okay. Your thoughts and your problems are your own. I don't need to understand why you've been so sad lately. Like you said, I can't fix it." She stood up from the table and walked over to the coffee pot. "But I can do a little something to make you feel better. Would you rather be miserable drinking the cheap stuff," she said, rattling a can of coffee grounds, "or this fresh dark roast from the farm?"

"I thought you hated dark roast. And I thought you hated buying coffee from Pierre's since it's so expensive."

"Correct on both counts. I got this for you because I know you like it. Now, would you like me to make a pot of this stuff? I won't drink it, but you and Maru will. I know Harvey gets this stuff and she drinks it at work."

"Oh! Yeah! Thanks, Mom." He finished his cup and put it on the counter. "No hug, though."

Robin smiled and nodded. "Your coffee will be on the top shelf of the cabinet over the sink, so Maru can't reach it."

"Look, I'm sorry I've been such a pain in the butt lately." He sat back down at the table. "I'm stressed out, I'm buried in work but I can't buy fun stuff since I'm trying to save, Sam is completely oblivious," he groaned and rolled his eyes, "like he ALWAYS is…"

"He reminds me of a dog!" Robin pushed the power button on the coffee maker and sat back down. "He's constantly happy and energetic and clingy, and he doesn't understand why anyone else wouldn't be!"

"Right? When he's happy, he has to tell me all about it. When he's bored, he's gotta tell me all about it. When he's sad, he's gotta cling to me and follow me around all day. And, like, he expects me to drop everything to play or jam or...okay, Mom. Here's an example. We're working on a new track. It's about farming, mining, and chopping wood. Because Sam's been hanging out with the farmer, I guess. He wrote the lyrics, thank goodness, and he came up with this basic melody...but he expects me to pull the synth track out of...let's just say, parts unknown."

Robin nodded.

"And he gives me these instructions, like, make it sound like nature only don't put any acoustic sounds in there." He was sitting up straighter, dropping his voice lower and making broad gestures to mock Sam. "And, like, give it an atmosphere that could work for an open field or a dark mine or a forest, but, like, all at once, you know. And make sure there's a break for a totally sick guitar solo. And don't make it too heavy on the drum machine, but, like, make sure the drums are prominent."

"Are you being Sam?" Maru giggled.

"Oh, hey sweetie." Robin glanced over.

"Was my imitation really that obvious?" Sebastian asked.

"YES." Maru grabbed a container from the freezer. "I was just over there fixing the amp the other day."

"The amp broke? You fixed it? Thanks."

"No problem. And, yeah, dead-on impression of Sam."

"What's in that container, sweetie?"

"Algae samples for Dad."

"Oh, okay. As long as it's not the chicken I got the other day, I'm saving that for the aerobics class potluck next week."

With that, Maru walked off.

"You're not gonna offer her a cup?" Sebastian asked quietly.

"No, this is yours," she said. "Besides, I'm not gonna invite her to our conversation, I get the feeling that you'd rather not have her around right now. Hey, I should be able to pour you a cup of coffee, are you ready for one?"

"Yes please."

"Black?"

"Of course."

Robin set the cup of coffee down on the table, then poured a glass of water for herself. "So, Sam's a little much. And you're swamped with work. Want me to say you're sick for the next couple days so you can get your projects done and have some free time?"

"You'd do that?"

"Yeah. You've been busy and over Sam's nonsense before, but there's something else going on. You've never been this upset about deadlines and writing music before. I don't know what's going on, I'm guessing that's the thing I wouldn't understand, and you've already told me that I can't fix it. But just because I can't fix the big problem...Sebby, this is important. Just because nobody can fix what's hurting on a deep level, doesn't mean you have to suffer from everything going on around you. You can hurt from a disappointment or a broken heart or a deep insult, whatever's hurting you, and still do little things to give yourself little hits of pleasure. It doesn't take your problem away. It doesn't make it any less important. The people around you will still know you're hurting if you tell them. They'll believe you. So, please." She gestured toward his coffee. "Drink the good coffee. Get sashimi at the saloon when you go play pool. Turn down that project you know is gonna be tedious and annoying. Cut the tags out of your shirts. Listen to good music. Do whatever you can to be comfortable, to grab little moments of pleasure whenever you can. You're in enough pain as it is. You do not need to make things more painful for yourself."

Sebastian kept his head down. He was trying to hide his tears. Maybe he was doing an okay job, or maybe his mom was just being nice and pretending not to notice.

"SEBASTIAN! Dude, let's jam!" Sam came bursting through the door. He never knocked anymore.

"Sam!" Robin ran from the kitchen. "I hate to be rude, but do not come in here."

"Why? What's up?"

"Stomach flu. You do NOT want this. I had it earlier in the week, then Demetrius and Maru got it, and now Sebby's down for the count...it's awful."

"Aww, lame!" Sam took a deep breath. "WE'LL JAM LATER, BRO!"

Robin's phone vibrated in her pocket.

"By the way, you have mail," Sam said. He handed over a stack of envelopes.

"If you were anyone else, I'd get mad at you for checking my mail…"

"You're welcome!" With that, Sam turned and left.

Robin checked her text. It was from Sebastian: "thx mom ily"

She carried the mail back to the table and leafed through it. "Bill, bill, bill, Demetrius, something from Penny for Maru, and...this one is yours."

"Thanks."

Sebastian opened the letter without looking at the front of the envelope. He expected it to be something dumb from Sam, or a fish recipe from Willy. His face lit up when he unfolded the paper.

"Sebastian,

I miss you. I'm having fun studying with the Wizard, not gonna lie...but I miss you so much. I'm not allowed to talk about what I'm learning or when I'll be done, he doesn't want the witch to find out what's going on. So, I'll just say I'm having a good time, and I miss everyone in town, especially you. And my parents, of course, but that's different. The farmer might actually have a chance to win the egg hunt this year, as long as Vincent or Jas doesn't surprise us...either one of them could be a ringer. You may want to practice the Flower Dance again, though.

Remember the time that Sam put a pound of anchovies in the soup? That was freaking amazing! I just told the Wizard about that tonight at dinner, he thought it was pretty funny too. I miss getting into trouble with you and Sam. I miss walking along the railroad tracks with you. I miss Saturday mornings, when you'd come by with food.

I can't wait to see you again.

Abigail"