Alec's weapon of choice had always been his bow and arrows. As the months flew by without a word from Magnus, that changed.
The arrows pierced through the air with a sort of grace and precision Alec had always admired, and he was good with the bow. Very good, in fact.
So why would he change?
He found he was pulled more towards axes lately, the force and brutality that came with using them made Alec… relaxed, for lack of a better word. It made him forget.
He barely noticed Isabelle's touch on his arm as he raised his axe and brought it down again and again on a Forsaken's head, blood flying in all directions, splattering on Alec's face, but he didn't notice or care.
"Alec," she said soothingly, trying to bring him back. "It's dead, Alec. You can stop."
He did, when he came out of it. He had been picturing the body before him was that of Patrick, the man who had taken everything from him. When he stopped, he looked around and saw only his sister. He was glad Jace wasn't there.
"Alec, you can't keep running off like this. You were outnumbered. What would have happened if I hadn't followed you?"
Alec sighed. "I'm fine, Iz."
"Because I came along to save your ass."
"I could have handled it."
"No. I know you're still hurting, after Magnus, but that's no reason-"
"You don't know what you're talking about."
Isabelle paused, then said, "You need to stop being so reckless. You may not have Magnus anymore, but you do have the rest of your family. We care about you, Alec. Don't do something stupid to take you away from us."
Alec barely listened to her. They had been over this before.
Yes, it had been months since Alec had heard from Magnus. Isabelle had seen him once in passing. She said he looked good.
She hadn't mentioned that he had been with another man, arm in arm. She didn't have the heart to tell Alec that little bit of information. She didn't know if they were together, anyway, or if they were just friends.
Alec would be crushed.
The next day found Alec in the training room, beating a punching bag to death. Jace was the one who, for once, tried to calm him down, but all her got was a bloody nose for his effort. So naturally Izzy went to him next. He wouldn't hurt her like he would hurt Jace. After all, he was still pissed at Jace for the events of a few months ago.
She put a hand on his shoulder, startling him into almost punching her. He took a deep breath. "What do you want?"
"I want you to stop. You're only hurting yourself here."
"And Jace."
"And Jace."
Alec turned to face his sister, looking down. "I'm just… trying to get it out."
"Get what out?"
"The anger."
"Why don't you practice your archery? You haven't done that in a while and it won't involve hurting yourself."
"No."
"Why not?"
"That never works. I need the… physicality, whether I'm hurting myself or someone else."
"Is that why you punched Jace?"
"He got in my way."
Isabelle sighed. "Maybe get some rest, big brother."
"I don't need rest."
"It's getting late. Everyone else is heading to bed."
"Good. Now maybe no one will interrupt me again." And he turned back to the punching bag.
"Do you think Magnus would want this for you?"
Now that made Alec mad. "What did you just say?"
Isabelle froze.
"It doesn't matter what Magnus would want," Alec growled. "Magnus is gone. And he doesn't give two shits about me anymore. So back the fuck off."
Isabelle recoiled and walked away sheepishly.
Alec didn't even regret treating her that way. She had no right to bring up Magnus to him, even if she was only trying to help him. He didn't want to hear it.
The next day, Alec wouldn't even leave his room. Isabelle knew it was because he was crying again. Once he had been in there all day but yelled at her when she entered. He didn't want anyone to see him like that. She left meals for him outside his door, but he never ate them, and it wasn't even Isabelle who had cooked them.
Alec was the first out of bed the next day. Isabelle hadn't gotten to see him that morning before he was out of the Institute, probably off on another one of his reckless hunts. Isabelle hadn't even been able to track him.
She breathed out a sigh of relief when she saw him later that day. Then she noticed he was covered in blood and cradling his arm as if it were broken.
She went right up to him and slapped him across the face. He didn't blink.
"I deserved that," he said.
"You deserve that and more, Alexander Lightwood!"
"I was careful, okay?"
"This," she gestured to him, "is what 'careful' looks like to you?"
"Well, I'm here, aren't I?"
"Not good enough!"
Alec sighed. "Look, I'll go to the infirmary right now, okay?"
"Good. If you haven't noticed, Alec, you don't have a Warlock boyfriend to heal your every wound anymore."
The moment she said it, she wished she hadn't. The look on Alec's face was heartbreaking, but also incredibly angry. At Isabelle.
"Alec, I'm sorry, I don't know why I-"
Alec just shoved past her, and she knew he wouldn't talk to her for at least two weeks.
Magnus was healing. Slowly, yes, but still healing.
It had been months since he's seen Alec, but not a day went by that he didn't think of him.
He had dialed his number so many times, but never was able to hit that call button.
He missed Alexander.
He missed his smile, his laugh, his touch.
All he wanted was to go back to him.
But did Alec even want him anymore? What if he moved on by now? What if he was disgusted by Magnus after what Patrick did to him?
Part of him thought he was being stupid. He didn't actually think Alec would blame Magnus for what happened to him. That was ridiculous.
But still….
Magnus had been so lonely for the first few months. He had Catarina, who stayed with him more often than not, and Raphael, who did his best to support his friend, but without Alec, his life was dull.
Then he met Elliot.
He had been simply walking down the street towards his loft when a giant golden retriever came barrelling into him, knocking him over.
"Oh, God, I'm so sorry, sir!" said an approaching voice.
Magnus couldn't help but laugh as the dog licked his face.
"It's all right," he said.
"I'm sorry, he just pulled and I wasn't looking and the leash just left my hand-"
"It's fine," Magnus said. "You don't need to apologize."
The man helped him up off the ground. And looked at him… strangely.
"I'm Elliot," he said, shaking his hand.
"Magnus."
"Well, Magnus, you must let me buy you a drink to repay you. Do you like coffee?"
Magnus was instinctively going to say that he was sorry because he had a boyfriend, but then he remembered.
So instead he found himself saying, "That sounds really nice." And then they were off.
Magnus could never say that Eliot was his boyfriend, exactly, but he was good company.
After a few months of friendship, Elliot made his move.
He tried to kiss Magnus.
Magnus froze, then started shaking in fear. This couldn't happen to him, not again.
Elliot backed up at Magnus's reaction. "What's wrong?" he asked.
"N-nothing. I just- I just can't-"
"Hey. It's okay. We don't need to rush this."
"You don't understand... I can't…."
"Did you have a bad experience or something?"
Magnus could only nod as tears started to fall.
"It's okay, Magnus, I understand."
No, you don't.
Elliot wrapped him in a hug which did nothing to calm him down.
He thought of Alexander.