Chapter Twelve
Sakura's eyes were stinging with unshed tears as she placed all the letters back in their envelopes. Her hands shook, making the task difficult, but she managed eventually. She sat there on her bed, still but for the shaking of her shoulders and the heaving of her chest with every shuddering breath she took. Her mind ran wild with accusations – why had the letters been hidden from her? Why was she just now receiving them?
The front door opened and close and Sakura became suddenly alert.
Tsunade was home.
Rage overtook her other emotions and Sakura snatched up the letters, storming out of her room and downstairs to the sitting room, where Tsunade was pacing back and forth. The blonde woman looked up at her charge's entrance, and neither spoke a word. Sakura glare at Tsunade in anger while the blonde's anguish bled through her own gaze. The pinkette's free fist was clenching and unclenching as she tried to rein in her emotions.
"Sakura, I –"
"Why would you do this?" interrupted the pinkette, thrusting the letters out in her tightened hand. "Did you know that this is technically mail fraud?"
"Now, Sakura –"
"No, you don't have a right to speak!" she yelled, her tears falling. "I was really beginning to think that my friends hated me for leaving without saying goodbye first. I thought they never wanted to speak to me again, when all along they've been trying to get in touch and you have stopped it. Did you know Kairi lives close by? I could have visited him – I was so lonely here! Everyone has formed stronger bonds with each other since I left and I still barely know most of them past who they were when I left. I was so...alone."
"You've made friends again," Tsunade attempted, stepping forwards. Sharply, Sakura jerked back, her glare at full force.
"You opened one of Ikuto's letters," she said, her voice quiet but strong. "Did you think they were all from him? Is that why?"
"You were doing so well without him," the blonde stressed, but Sakura just shook her head.
"I missed him every day, and every single day my heart broke a little more, thinking that he hated me," she cried. "He's sick, Tsunade – I could have helped him, but I didn't even know until now! I – I just... I can't even stand to be around you right now."
Turning on her heel, Sakura ran back up to her room.
"Saku-chan!" called Mitsu happily, floating in circles around Sakura. "I had the best day with Pein-chan! I...What's wrong?" she asked, noting the tears in Sakura's eyes.
Without a word, the pinkette began packing up her belongings, jamming whatever she could fit into her large backpack and suitcase. This mainly consisted of clothes, shoes, etc., but she also packed a few trinkets, as well as her photos and letters. She struggled to close the bags, but they were luckily only full of light things, before she pulled on a green hoodie and sat on her bed to tug on her white trainers. It was at this point in time when her Charas finally spoke.
"Saku-chan, what's going on?" asked Katsumi, worried for her owner. Sakura looked up at the four of them, floating in front of her with concerned expressions, and smiled weakly.
"We're going back to Seiyo," she told them, lacing up her shoes and standing. "I can't stay here, not knowing that Ikuto's in trouble."
"What about Tsunade-san?" questioned Setsuko, frowning. "You cannot return without your guardian, Saku-chan."
"I can and I will," she said firmly. "I was doing just fine without her."
"You were a member of Easter," growled Mari, "Under their control and attacking your friends. How is that 'doing just fine', Saku-chan?"
"I was living with Yaya," Sakura corrected, "and rebuilding their trust in me. I got out of Easter thanks to Ikuto and Amu-san, not Tsunade. All she did was move me away from my new friends and hide their letters from me."
"We should move back," Setsuko nodded, floating to Sakura and perching on her shoulder. "Our memories are mixed, both the good and the bad, but Seiyo is where we belong."
"What about Kimimaro?" snapped Mari, watching as Setsuko faltered and her determination wilted. "What about Juken, or Kyuubi, or Pein? What about all of our friends, and yours too, Saku-chan! What'll happen if you leave them again, without a word? Gaara barely forgave you this time, it'd crush him if you left again!"
"I don't have a choice!" screamed the pinkette. "I'm only a kid!" she sobbed, curling up on the floor by her bed. "I don't know what to do. I just want to do the right thing, but I don't know what that is," she whimpered, rubbing her face as her tears continued to flow.
Downstairs, the phone rang.
Sakura was already on her way out the window.
{-}
Sakura felt almost like she was stuck in a dream as she walked further from her house. She couldn't focus or follow coherent patterns of thought. All she felt was numb. Ikuto filled every corner of her mind – was he ill? Did something happen to him? Were Easter involved? With every question she felt her defences break more and more.
It wasn't right – Tsunade should have never hidden those letters from her. If only she had known, she could have –
She stopped, her thoughts halting in an instant.
'What could I have done?' she asked herself. 'I'm stuck here in Gakure. There's no way for me to get back to Seiyo. I...I couldn't have done anything.'
Her thoughts then took a different path, wondering what would have happened if she had never moved, never accepted Tsunade's offer to take her in? She would have never seen her old friends, never reconnected with Gaara... Gaara... He would be crushed. He had such a hard time trusting people, and she had broken his trust once before. How could she do that to him again? How would he react this time? Would he hate her?
'He should hate me...'
"Saku-cha, look out!" cried Mari, breaking Sakura from her thoughts just in time to stop her from walking into someone.
"Sasuke?" she recognised, feeling a stone settle in her stomach. She hadn't really spoken to him since moving back, yet she still considered him one of her best friends.
"It's been a while, Sakura," he said, smirking at her – in a friendly way, rather than a threatening way. After all, for Sasuke to actually smile, it took rather a lot, so she learnt to be content with a smirk.
"What are you doing here?" she asked him. Sasuke raised an eyebrow, looking around.
"We're standing outside my house," he told her. Sakura looked around and, sure enough, she was stood right outside the Uchiha estate.
"Oh, my bad," she acknowledged, looking towards her feet. Frowning, Sasuke moved closer to her.
"What's wrong?" he asked, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. Sakura looked up and met his eye, her expression a painting of confusion, stress and sorrow. Sasuke was slightly stunned to see how upset his friend was and immediately gathered her into a hug.
Sniffling, Sakura just held him, remembering all the times that Sasuke had comforted her with his hug. It was so rare for him to initiate contact, so when he did, it meant a lot. She smiled into his shoulder and held tightly for a moment until both let go. Meeting his eye again, Sakura was a lot calmer and far less worried about everything. Sasuke smirked – he was such a charmer.
"Now, do you want to tell me what's up?"
{-}
"Well, that's...a lot," Sasuke told her. They were sat on the sofa in his living room, sipping tea and eating some biscuits his mother had brought them.
"I don't know what to do," she admitted.
"You need to talk to Tsunade," he advised, smirking a little when Sakura rolled her eyes.
"I know."
"You need to speak to Gaara," he added and she frowned.
"I know," she said again, almost whispered.
"...You need to go back to Seiyo," he told her hesitantly. Sasuke didn't want to lose her, but Gakure wasn't her home anymore. Seiyo was. He'd seen her there, around her new friends, and he knew that was where she belonged.
"I...huh?" she whipped her head round, staring at him. Sasuke merely shrugged.
"You asked my opinion, and that's it," he said bluntly. "You need to go home."
"You really think so?" she asked, her voice full of hope.
"...Yes," he nodded. "We'll all miss you, but it's where you belong."
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she cried, leaping into his arms and holding him tightly. Sasuke blushed and looked to the side.
"J-Just remember to say goodbye to everyone this time."
"I will," she nodded, letting go. "I'll start with you, okay?"
"Don't worry about," Sasuke sighed. "I know why you have to go – I'm the only telling you to. You don't have to say goodbye to me."
"I want to," she said softly, kissing his cheek. "I'll miss you, Sasuke-kun."
{-}
Sakura wandered around the streets.
She knew she had to go back home, but she didn't know how to say goodbye to everyone. It would be easier to do it when they were all together, but there was still the question of how to get them all in one place. Not all of them hung out, or got along, or even knew each other! She was pretty sure that Ino had never, in her life, met Nagato, and Sasori definitely didn't know Hinata.
'Though they'd have a lot to talk about,' she mused 'Maybe Sasori could even help Naruto with Kyuubi...'
Her eyes widened and she turned to her Charas, looking at each of them. They returned her look with a confused one and she smiled, pulling out her phone.
{-}
"Why are we here again?" asked Shikamaru, rubbing the back of his head.
Sakura had call all of the Chara bearers in Gakure to an old building just on the edge of town. She was surprised when Katsumi mentioned to call Shikamaru as well, but had done just that. In attendance was Madara, Nagato, Itachi, Sasori, Kankuro, Shikamaru, Zaku, Hinata, and Naruto. She had been pleasantly shocked to find that Nagato had also brought his girlfriend, Konan, who was also a Chara bearer.
"You all have a Chara, and it's time that you knew just what they're for," Sakura said firmly. Itachi frowned, raising his hand to draw attention.
"I thought they were representations of our would-be selves," he responded, gaining a majority of head nods in responds. Sakura smiled, shrugging.
"On a personal level, yes, but they also exist for the greater good," she continued, looking around. "Back in Seiyo, there was a club call The Guardians, who all had Charas and used their powers to defend innocent people against X-Eggs and help save Heart Eggs from turning negative or disappearing."
"So?" asked Zaku, tiling his head, "What's your point?"
"I thought..." Sakura sighed. "I'm leaving again," she told them, ignoring the general uproar. "Seiyo needs me – things are getting bad there, but I didn't just want to leave as though I was never here. I thought, maybe, if Gakure had a similar group as the Guardians, then..."
"Excellent," agreed Madara, stepping up. "This idea of yours isn't half bad, Haruno-san. It would be a good way to support people new to Charas, also," he added, looking between Naruto and Shikamaru.
"I'm glad you agree, Uchiha-san," Sakura smiled, "because I figured, with you being the oldest person I know with a Chara, you could be the advisor, and oversee the group."
"Wonderful," he nodded, "And I would like to nominate Nagato as my second."
"Gladly," nodded the teen, looking towards Konan, "and Konan will assist me."
"It's going great already," whispered Mitsu happily.
"I'll leave you guys to get things sorted, then," Sakura smiled. "Any questions before I go?"
"Why are you leaving?" Naruto asked immediately, his blue eyes screaming sadness. "We just got you back, Sakura-chan."
"W-What's so important that y-you have to l-leave again?" followed Hinata, frowning delicately.
"I thought you'd just got settled back in here," Zaku commented, not even looking at her. Sakura looked around them all and sighed, a sad smile covering her face.
"I love it here," she admitted, "and I love being around you guys again, but I'm thinking about a bigger picture here. We're all moving on to Middle School soon, if we're not there or further already," she added, looking at Itachi, Nagato, Konan, Zaku, Kankuro, Sasori and Madara. "We'll be split up and moving on, and I'll never really fit in again. I fit in back in Seiyo. I have a place, a purpose, and a life there. I was torn away from that to come back in the first place, and they need me there, with the Guardians."
"We get it," Sasori nodded, "but it's still hard. It'll be even harder for those who don't have Charas – how can they possibly understand if they don't even know why you're leaving?"
"I don't know," she confessed.
"What about Gaara?" asked Kankuro, voicing the question everyone had been dancing around.
Gaara wasn't someone who opened up easily, and it had taken him a long time to build a friendship with Sakura. They had finally manage to form something of a kinship, and she had left without a word. It had hurt everyone, but no one was a crushed and betrayed as Gaara. Sakura bit her lip, looking down and clenching her fists.
"I'll talk to him," she promised, "but this is something that I need to do."
{-}
Quietly, Sakura closed the door behind her. She paused, holding her breath and hoping that Tsunade hadn't heard her come back in. There was no noise in the house and she thought she was in the clear until Tonton trotted up to her, snorting and squealing happily. Confused, Sakura picked up the pig and walked into the living room.
"Shizune?" she called, not sure whether the dark-haired woman would be a friend or a foe in her argument with Tsunade.
When she entered the room, however, there was another person in there – one whom she hadn't expected to see.
"Amakawa-san?" she voiced, thoroughly bewildered. "What are you doing here?"
"Don't be rude, Sakura," scolded Tsunade, though she backed down when Sakura directed a heated glare towards her.
"As Chairman of Seiyo Elementary," Amakawa Tsukasa explained, "I have come here to speak with your guardian about a way of perhaps bringing you back to the school. We have discussed how great an asset you were to Seiyo," he said, giving her a knowing look, "but also how Tsunade-san is unable to relocate."
"So, what?" Sakura asked. "What's the conclusion?"
"The town had apartments for students who study away from home," he informed her. "These are usually used by students of the college in the next town, or for foreign students, but there are a few reserved for students of the Elementary, Middle, and High Schools in times of need."
"I will continue to pay for your tuition," Tsunade cut in, "as well as your rent and living fees. I can more than afford it and...I want you to be happy, Sakura. That can only be if you're in Seiyo. I know that now."
"So...I get to go home?" she enquired, her voice cautious and barely above a whisper.
"We leave tomorrow," smiled Tsukasa.
"You should probably pack," Tsunade told her. Sakura jumped and shook her head.
"No, there's something I have to do first!"
{-}
"Ino! Ino! Ino!" she yelled, banging on her friend's door with every shout. It opened, revealing Inoichi."
"Whoa, Sakura," he chuckled. "Where's the fire?"
"Sorry," she breathed. "Is Ino home?"
"Sakura?" her blonde friend questioned curiously, seeing an out-of-breath, flushed pinkette on the other side of her door. "What's wrong?"
"That's my cue," Inoichi smiled, leaving his daughter to talk to her friend.
"Ino, I'm going home!" Sakura told her, happily, but also with sadness. She was so excited, but now that she saw her friend, she was reluctant. Still, she knew she had to go.
"Uhh, okay?" she replied, thoroughly confused.
"No, you don't understand," she continued. "I'm going back to Seiyo!"
SMACK
"Saku-chan!" yelped her Charas, but Ino, of course, didn't hear them.
"I-Ino?" she asked, stunned. Tears filled Ino's eyes as she watched a red mark appear on Sakura's cheek where she had slapped her.
"How dare you!" she cried "How dare you come to me and say that so happily!"
"I...I don't –"
"No! You don't get to speak!" she continued. "Do you hate it here? I thought I was your friend, yet you're so happy to leave! Don't you even care about me?"
"Of course I care!" replied Sakura. "This was hard for me! I didn't know what I was going to do until I talked to Sasuke. He's the one who told me I needed to go home."
"Then I'll slap him too!" she yelled. Both girls stood, staring at each other.
Ino cracked first, laughing loudly, and Sakura soon joined her.
"Y-You...smacking...S-S-Sasuke!" giggled the pinkette.
"I-I-I bet h-his face w-wouldn't e-even change!" Ino laughed along with her.
"Sure it would – he'd have a lovely red mark on his cheek," Sakura said, calming a little.
"Like you?" asked Ino, a little sheepishly. "I'm sorry. It was a gut-reaction. I really should learn to control my anger."
"Maybe," smiled Sakura. "I'm kinda glad you did, though. I had no right to be happy about leaving you."
"You're happy to be going home, Sakura," Ino sighed, looking down, "and I can't blame you for that. Just...Just keep in touch this time, okay?"
"I promise."
{-}
Taking a deep breath, Sakura headed out in the direction of Gaara's house.
This was the part she was dreading.
She had no idea how he would react, if he did at all. He could just shut the door in her face. He could yell at her, disowning her as a friend. He could do anything, and she couldn't begin to guess what. That was always what she'd loved about Gaara, how unpredictable he was, but now she wasn't so sure.
"Why don't you guys go home?" she said quietly to her Charas. "You could find your friend and say goodbye, if you want. Just be home by nine."
"Are you sure, Saku-chan?" asked Mitsu – always the most compassionate, when she wasn't ordering people around.
"You might need us, should things no go well," added Setsuko – she was the sensible, mature one, after all.
"Of course things will go well!" grinned Katsumi – ever the optimist.
"Just remember to take it easy, okay? If he's angry, let him be angry," finished Mari – she was the protective one, always looking after the weak. Sakura still didn't know how Gaara would react, but the last time she left he had definitely been weakened.
"I know, I will," Sakura assured her. "Please, this is something I need to do alone. Even if he can't see you, he deserves that much."
"Okay, Saku-chan," nodded Setsuko.
"We'll see you later!" called Katsumi as they all floated away.
Taking another breath to calm her nerves, Sakura turned down Gaara's street, her mind running through all possible ways of telling him. She had gone through at least ten difference scenarios, all of which ended with her being kicked out of his house, when, the next thing she knew, she was sitting on the pavement, having knocked into something solid.
"Ow, ow, ow," she whined, rubbing her nose when where it had hit the object.
"Sakura?" a deep voice questioned as the boy she had run into knelt down to help her. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you. You turned the corner so quickly."
"Gaara," Sakura yelped, shooting up off her feet and stepping back from him. A look of horror crossed her face – she wasn't even nearly ready. "W-What are you doing out?"
"Kankuro just got home and told me you needed to talk to me," he explained calmly. "I was on my way over to your place. I guess it was more urgent than that, hmm?" he mused, smiling slightly.
"Y-Yeah, kinda," Sakura confessed, rubbing the back of her head.
"What is it?" he questioned, now slightly concerned.
"I...I really don't know how to say this," she whimpered.
"Sakura, it's fine," sighed Gaara.
"I have to say it, but I don't know where to start."
"It's fine, really."
"It's unfair not to tell you, but I just...I'm really unsure how –"
"I already know," he told her.
"H-Huh?" Sakura responded dumbly. "H-How?"
"I overheard Kankuro telling Temari," he replied, closing his eyes for a while before looking down at his feet, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I'm glad you were going to tell me yourself."
"I would have told Temari, too, but I'm leaving tomorrow, and –"
"Tomorrow?" he hissed, scowling at her. "You're leaving tomorrow and you're only just telling people now?"
"I only found out today," she explained, watching his anger melt into sadness.
"Do you have to go?" he whispered, stepping forwards and taking her hand between two of his. "You and Naruto...you were my first friends. You two made me feel safe, and loved, and now...you're leaving again?"
"I don't belong here anymore, Gaara," Sakura said sadly. "I belong in Seiyo, with Amu, and Yaya, and Tadase, Rima, Kukai, I...Ikuto," she told him, the last name leaving her mouth like a prayer. Gaara smiled minutely at the sound.
"You like this 'Ikuto', huh?" he asked.
"Very, very much," Sakura confessed. "More than I'd care to admit, actually."
"Is it selfish of me to still not want you to go?" he asked, frowning.
"No," Sakura smiled. "It actually makes me feel very happy that you care so much, but I need to be in Seiyo."
"I understand," he nodded, but then he shook his head. "No, that's I lie. I don't understand at all, but...if it's what would make you happy, then I can accept it."
"Thank you, Gaara," she muttered, leaning in close. "Thank you so much," she said, kissing his cheek. Gaara stiffened and threw his arms around her, bringing her as close as possible.
"I'll miss you so much," he whimpered, hiding his face in her shoulder.
"I'll miss you, too," Sakura replied, tears falling from her eyes.
For a time, all the two friends did was hold each other.
Gaara hoped that time would stop and he could be with his first female friend forever.
Sakura wished that letting go wasn't so hard, but even as the tears fell and her heart squeezed in her chest, she knew she wouldn't trade the pain she was feeling for anything.
Names whirled around in her head.
Ino. Hinata. Temari. Tenten.
They were her girls. Nothing would ever replace them, but now she also had Amu, Yaya, and, to an extent, Rima.
Kankuro. Lee. Recently, Zaku.
The boys she would turn to with anything and everything. They would always cheer her up, but now she also had Kukai, Tadase, and Kairi.
Itachi. Sasori. Deidara. Konan. Nagato. Kakashi. Madara.
The older teens and adults she looked to for advice. Now she could look to Yukari-san, Nikaido-sensei, Tsukasa-san, and, if she was really desperate, even Utau.
Neji. Gaara.
At one point, she fancied herself in love with Neji, and at one point she had hated Gaara. Now, though, she could think of nothing but the best times she had with her friends.
Sasuke. Naruto.
Sakura choked back a sob as she thought those two name. They had been her everything for so long. Her sparring partners, her team, her boys. She would have done anything for those two – anything at all. They had been there through illness, health, victory, defeat. Every failed test, every family expectation, every bully. They were always there.
And now she was leaving.
One final name broke through her mind, overtaking all other.
Ikuto.
She knew where she belonged.