~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Heinz awoke the next morning with a splitting headache. It was only after he noticed the empty bottle of whiskey next to him that he realized why.
Sighing, the man painfully grabbed his lab coat, put it on, and made his way across the room to splash water on his face. He shuddered at his image in the mirror. What was wrong with him?
Thoughts of Michael flooded through his head. Of course, Heinz just had to fuck everything up. Why did he make that inator look so much like a damned gun? No wonder the man was so freaked out! He was just so used to Perry the Platypus taking everything in stride without any questions..
The inator had simply been a little gift for his new friend. It would scan and read all of the things Michael liked- his favorite color, his favorite food, his favorite movies, etc.- and bring one of them to him at the push of a button. Heinz had thought it'd been one of his best ideas yet. Maybe not evil, but certainly cool, in his opinion.
But now, Michael would probably never know. Heinz doubted if he'd ever see him again.
Stupid, stupid.
Sullenly, the evil scientist finished washing up and turned on the shower.
~o~o~o~o~o~o~
The next morning, Pinky was knocking on his head with her snout. Perry jumped awake, surprised to find the chihuahua's face almost pressed into his. He cringed, feeling his head spin. Thankfully he wasn't hungover, but he definitely hadn't slept very well. He couldn't even remember getting into Ferb's bed.
Despite the dizziness, Perry followed Pinky through a chute in the boy's room, and landed in his own secret lair. The lights were dimmed, but Perry didn't brighten them. He wasn't taking any chances of alerting Major Monogram.
Perry raised an eyebrow. Any luck?
Pinky barked joyfully. He said yes. My friend is going to make sure we get through the security, while I come with you and doing the hacking.
You're amazing, Pinky. Perry sighed, relieved. Do we have a plan?
Well, O.W.C.A. is having a graduation party tomorrow at noon. All of the staff will be invited. That will be our perfect opportunity to sneak into the building.
But isn't the part being held at O.W.C.A. headquarters this year? You know, since last year's attempt didn't go so well.. Perry thought regretfully to the debacle that had been last year's graduation ceremony. Who knew the agents and evil scientists would end up sharing a space.
Yes, that creates a problem. Pinky sighed. We need a way to make everyone think we're at the party while we're away. I tried tricking the hologram devices we used during our undercover mission to come up with independent hologram versions of ourselves, but it was unsuccessful. Have any ideas?
Perry pondered for a moment. Unfortunately, O.W.C.A. wasn't very developed in this brand new stage of technology. But, like a strike of lightning, the solution dawned on him. Phineas and Ferb. Hadn't they created a cloning machine earlier this summer?
Perry relayed this to Pinky, who immediately brightened. Do you have copies of that machine?
The platypus nodded.
Perfect. We'll construct clones of ourselves and replace them with us at the party. We should be back before anyone suspects.
Pinky laid out a map of the O.W.C.A.'s headquarters and began mapping out the plan. Perry felt an excited chill descend his spine. This mission was unbelievably dangerous, but at least there was a shred of hope.
~o~o~o~o~o~o~ Perry landed in Doofenshmirtz's apartment, expecting to find the man standing there with a new evil scheme in the works. Instead, he found the man pacing about the apartment, his hair and lab coat wrinkled, muttering to himself.
The sight of him made Perry cringe. Thinking back, he hoped his dramatic escape after their drinking hang out hadn't driven the man crazy. However, he forced himself to swallow back those emotions, and approached Heinz with his usual professional gaze.
"Oh, Perry the Platypus! Thank you for coming. See, Vanessa has been begging for you to come back. She hasn't stopped bugging me all morning. Do you mind going over some things with her? Pleeease?"
The agent nodded, and walked into the living room. Vanessa was sitting in a long t-shirt and leggings, already blasting music. She smiled and waved when she saw him.
"Thanks for coming, Perry." She smiled. "I convinced Dad to take a break from evil today and let you teach me. I hope you don't mind." He shook his head. It was a nice change of pace, honestly.
The two fell into different stretches. Afterwards, he repeated punching and kicking moves they had been working on, nodding encouragingly as she mastered her stance. He then pulled her towards the middle of the room and took on a stance of his own. The agent motioned for her to hold a combative stance in defensive to his advances.
As they worked through different maneuvers, Perry's mind wandered back to his own training. Although he'd learned most of his skills at O.W.C.A.'s training facility in Danville, the platypus had been familiar with it his whole life. Even as an evil scientist, he'd craved learning, and had self-taught himself some basic combat skills from books and online sources.
He'd given his O.W.C.A. nemesis a run for their money when they'd first met.
More unproductive memories. Perry pushed them to the back of his mind.
Vanessa was picking up on the training rather quickly. With her intelligence and quick thinking, she would be a prime example of a fine agent. Perry hoped she didn't slip and fall down the evil path, like her father.
Or like himself.
After about an hour, Perry motioned for them to take a break. Vanessa grabbed a water bottle and offered him one. He took it gratefully.
"I feel like I could walk on water." Vanessa cried, settling onto the couch.
Heinz sat next to her and kissed her cheek. "I'm proud of you, Pumpkin. Just think of all the evil you could spread with these new skills.." "Daaad."
"Yeah, I know." He sighed. "You guys up for snacks? I think I have some sandwiches in the fridge.."
Doofenshmirtz waddled to the kitchen. Vanessa let out a deep breath and shook her head. "Dad's been really.. off since yesterday. Apparently he had a date, but it didn't go so well. He won't tell me why. I'm kind've worried about him, Perry. I don't know what to do."
A date?
Had that "hang out" been considered a date by the evil scientist? No wonder the man had been so upset. Perry bit back a guilty frown. The thought made him queasy, but he took a deep breath and tried to calm his beating heart. He'd been selfish; the relationship couldn't have continued much longer. At least now it was over.
Heinz will get over it. He rationed. And then it will be like nothing happened. I may have to quit my job at the restaurant, though.
Doof returned with a plate of sandwiches. Perry picked up one of the chicken salad sandwiches and sat at the table, munching on it. He listened to father and daughter go back and forth, talking about mundane things. Vanessa was right; Doof seemed really off. He was very mellow, nothing like his usual peppy, energetic self.
Another rise of guilt threatened to cough up his sandwich.
Once they were finished, Vanessa stood and stretched. "Can we go over those last techniques one last time before you go? I think I've almost got it!"
Perry smiled and obliged.
~o~o~o~o~o~o~ Late that night, Perry received a few encrypted text messages from Pinky.
Let's meet at sunrise for preparations. Wouldn't want to come to the party empty-handed!
Agent Pinky
Perry let the real message sink in. Tomorrow was going to be a real test of his stealth, but that wasn't the part that worried him. What if they failed? What if they were caught and Pinky's career was destroyed because of it? What if something happened and Phineas and Ferb got hurt?
The platypus, worn out from the stress, filed those thoughts under his mental "repressed" files and closed his eyes, hoping he would at least catch a few hours of sleep.