~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Perry, Pinky, and a wild looking cat were seated in the basement of some home Perry wasn't familiar with. It was a small house, located in what was considered the "bad side of town." He could hear stomping from above, but neither Pinky nor the cat seemed to heed it. Perry vaguely wondered what Pinky was doing, hanging out with an animal like this.
The cat, who referred to himself as X, began packing a random assortment of equipment into a small backpack.
We are going to take him as far as the parkinglot. Our job is to keep everyone distracted long enough for him to get into security. Pinky explained. Once X is inside, we need to move quickly and retrieve the information.
The cat handed both of them an ear piece. Use these. He purred.
The ear piece was tiny, unnoticeable without close inspection. Perry tried placing it in his ear and nodded, impressed. At least the cat knew what he was doing.
Do you have the cloning machine ready? Pinky asked.
Perry nodded. They were powered and ready. He prayed to whatever god might be listening that this would work.
~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Pinky and Perry darted into Perry's lair about half an hour before the event. They both adorned black bowties to match their fedoras for the occasion. A replica of Phineas and Ferb's machine awaited them, vibrating and hissing. Perry crossed his fingers.
Once they were in place, Perry activated the device. Immediately, he felt the machine scanning his entire body. It only took a minute or two for exact look-a-likes to pop out of the front. The fake Agent P and Agent Pinky squinted their eyes, unused to the light. However, they instantly reacted to the other versions of themselves, politely tipping their hats.
Well, they certainly aren't shy. Pinky observed. Phineas and Ferb really are something else.
The two clones were examining the lair, eyes and mouth opened wide. Perry wanted to tell them to stop looking like two dimwitted rookies, but kept his mouth shut. There was no point in arguing with a weird version of himself.
The agents secretly pulled their doubles and X into the car and made the short trip to O.W.C.A. headquarters. X didn't say a word, simply tapped on his computer the whole time. Pinky was also silent, but a different kind of silent; a worried silent.
Perry elbowed him. We're the best of the best, right?
Pinky nodded, but Perry didn't think his pathetic attempt at encouragement helped much.
When they arrived shortly outside of headquarter's peripheral vision, X clambered in the front seat and watched the front door like a hawk. Perry and Pinky, (the real Perry and Pinky), stepped out and sauntered into headquarters.
Carl greeted them. The gigantic conference room had been cleared, and huge, congratulatory decorations had been placed everywhere. Perry cringed at the cliche quotes that adorned the lobby. Was it just him, or was the graduation ceremony getting cheesier every year?
Major Monogram soon spotted them. "Ah, two of O.W.C.A.'s finest agents. So glad you both could make it. Try the buffet; the potato salad is delicious!"
The agents glanced at each other, but decided to skip the buffet. Perry was so nervous he knew there was no way he could eat.
They chatted with fellow coworkers, making sure to keep a watch on the surrounding security guards. Neither of them relaxed until they received a signal from X confirming he'd made it inside and was on his way up to the control room.
Very soon, the ceremony began to start. Perry waited for a few minutes before disappearing into the bathroom, where the two clones had sneaked inside and were waiting, perched in the janitorial closet. Cloned Perry exited the bathroom and rejoined the event.
Twenty minutes later, Pinky also made the switch.
X's scratchy voice carried through their earpieces. You both in position?
Position one achieved. Pinky disclosed. Awaiting report.
Silence. Perry almost wondered if something had happened and X had disappeared, but after a few minutes, the microphone crackled. All agents are attending the ceremony. You are free to move forward.
Pinky and Perry moved out of the bathroom, making sure to watch their steps, peering around every corner. Thankfully, since the event was in full swing, there was no one around. They passed through cubicles until they reached the emergency stairway.
Perry looked warily at the security cameras that were staring down the stairway, but Pinky gave an encouraging nod to the platypus. X was working some kind of hacking magic to make them disappear from the camera's view.
The "forbidden files," were located in the very last floor of headquarters. Unfortunately, Perry was certain these rooms would be just as heavily guarded as they were any other day of the week.
The two agents finally made it to the last floor. Perry pulled out an X-ray vision device and peered through the closed door. His prediction had been correct; four guards were on duty, directly facing them- and who knew about many others there could be down the hall.
Pinky nodded to Perry. They were going to have to be fast.
In position two. Waiting for command.
X meowed. Stand by.
A few seconds later, a warning red light began flashing on the four guard's wristwatches. They immediately turned to each other and hurried down the hall, yelling for others to follow. The agents waited until the coast was clear, before darting into the corridor and reaching their designated door.
Pinky yelped. Position three achieved.
Door is unlocked. Bombs away. X snarled.
Perry grabbed the door handle and yanked it open. True to the cat's word, they were inside without raising any other alarm.
The platypus glanced around the room for a moment. The walls and shelves were crammed with files. But most interesting of all was the computer located in the very center. Pinky was immediately typing away at the keyboard, flash drive already plugged in.
These encryptions are going to take a minute to crack. Pinky sighed. X, can you buy us a few more minutes?
Affirmative.
More red lights were flashing from across the building. Perry knew they were probably interrupting the ceremony at this point, and Major Monogram was sending agents to check it out.
Pinky kept typing. Perry had no idea what she was even doing; all he could see was data flashing past the screen faster than he could read it.
Guys, Carl has just sent a couple agents down here to investigate. What's your position?
Pinky coughed. Still working on it. Can you stall?
Not without raising more unnecessary alarms. You need to get this done in one minute.
Pinky didn't say a word. She cursed. Perry could hear padded footsteps above them. Someone was coming.
Pinky..
Ha! She yelped. Got it! Here it is, Operation Kur.. Downloading now.
It says three minutes until it's downloaded. We don't have that. Perry cried.
Two agents are headed down the stairway. X warned. Thirty seconds until they engage.
Perry's ears perked. Guards were headed back to their stations. It seemed that Carl had located the source of the problems to their very location.
Pinky..
We have to distract them. She snapped.
But before either of them could move, more alarms began to ring, louder and scarier than the previous ones. Perry suspected the whole building had now determined a threat and was locking itself down.
Shit.
Was that you, X? Pinky pleaded.
Negative. Came the reply. There's been another intruder on the main floor. O.W.C.A. is on lockdown.
Great. Pinky barked helplessly. There goes our way out.
Not necessarily. Perry pondered. Isn't there any emergency exit on each floor? Maybe we can find it.
There is. X interrupted. But the only one unaffected by the lock down in on the main ground. You're going to have to get up there. Fast.
Pinky and Perry darted back up the stairway as fast as their legs would go. However, only after climbing a couple flights, they heard doors being banged from up above and footsteps quickly descending down the stairs.
Pinky barked, worried. Perry looked around. There was no other way to go. Except..
He pointed to the window. Pinky stared at him, open-mouthed. Are you crazy?!..
Perry grabbed his partner and jumped up, grabbing the window. It was securely bolted and made of tempered glass. He grabbed his fedora, pumped it until it started spinning like a chainsaw, and began to crack at the window.
Pinky listened as the footsteps were growing louder. X was yelling something in their ear, but Perry could no longer hear it. He was too focused on trying to cut through the window.
It seemed like hours, but finally, the window broke free. He grabbed Pinky and jumped.
The two agents went spiraling onto the ground. It wasn't a far leap, but enough to cause both of them to cry out as they landed on the pavement. Ignoring the pain, the agents jumped up and hobbled into the jungle, just as they heard Monogram's booming voice threaten over the wind. Pinky and Perry jumped into a getaway car they'd stowed in the woods. X, are you okay? What's your status?
X meowed. Still inside. You need to switch back before we can proceed.
Perry watched O.W.C.A. headquarters grow farther and farther away. He just hoped their clones would be able to stick it out a couple more hours until they could switch back. The longer their clones stayed in the presence of the O.W.C.A. staff, the more dangerous their position grew.
A couple of minutes later, Pinky and Perry circled back to headquarters and found that security guards were surveilling the scene like a wasps nest. Five figures were being hauled out of the building. Perry couldn't make out their faces because of their far distance, but they appeared to be fairly young.
Because of this distraction, the two agents were able to stealthily slip into the upstairs bathroom once again, and waited for the clones to escape. X had the security cameras blackened for the time being, so their clones couple make the switch quickly. Pinky and Perry high-fived their clones, before pressing a button on a remote control Perry had handy, making the two vanish into thin air.
The agents casually joined the crowd, amused to see Major Monogram's completely red face. The ceremony had been completely disrupted, and Carl was on stage trying to put it back on track.
X's voice carried through the transceiver. Cameras are back on. Escaping underground. Well done.
Pinky and Perry shared a relieved glance.
..They'd just hacked into O.W.C.A.