~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Perry jumped awake. He glanced around, unsure where he was. The unfamiliar surroundings made him begin to panic, and he pulled backwards, falling to the ground. It wasn't until the world stopped spinning that he realized someone was gripping his shoulders and calling out his name.
Perry looked up, and felt his body relax when he saw Heinz's face.
"Hey, man, are you alright? Were you having a nightmare?"
The TV was still playing, but the sound was turned completely down. The apartment was dark, but Perry could still make out the man's interesting furniture. His face and hands were sweaty, and he felt like he was going to be sick, as the affects of the nightmare washed over him.
He'd been screaming and screaming. And the pain wouldn't stop.
He was pretty sure he'd screamed out his father's name, but he didn't dare ask Heinz if that was the case. The agent took a deep breath, schooling in his emotions, and climbed back on the couch. Heinz was watching him with an intense expression, as if trying to read the man. He put a hand on Perry's back in comfort.
"Anything you want to talk about?"
Perry let his long, wavy hair slightly fall in front of his face. He didn't look at the man. Most of his mind was shouting at him to shut down, and push the emotions away as far as he could. But for the first time, Perry was beginning to realize how much lying to everyone around him about his mental state was tearing him down.
Do you trust me?
Perry had asked that of Heinz not too long ago. Could he reciprocate the favor?
Balling his fists in frustration, Perry let out a long sigh. "I've been having a lot of bad nightmares lately. I mean, I've always had nightmares. And when I'm a platypus, they aren't as traumatizing because a platypus's brain isn't quite so attuned to lot of complex human emotions. But for some reason, even in platypus form, they have been really, really bad."
Perry stumbled over his words, and he still wasn't looking at the man. But he felt a little weight start to lift off his chest.
"I'm sorry if I woke you."
"No, it's okay." Heinz sighed. "I understand. I get nightmares too." When the scientist realized the agent wasn't going to say anything, he continued, "I've talked to you a lot about my dad. I remember him as being cold and dismissive, but at least he kept his distance. My mother, on the other hand.." The man cringed. "She used to threaten me with knives, fire crackers, bombs, kidnappers, stories of Drusselsteinian monsters.. Anything she could come up with the keep me obedient. It's stupid, but I still get nightmares about the time she locked me all night long in the basement that was supposedly haunted by this half-ghost, half-vampire."
Perry groaned. "You better hope I never meet your mother."
"Look, I know I'm, you know, evil. But I'm not like most. I would never use your past against you."
"I know." Perry sighed. "You forget I've known you for five years, D. I've studied you."
"And yet, you still don't trust me enough to let me in? I mean, maybe you have this incredible girlfriend or best friend somewhere out in the world that you tell these things too. Because despite our five years of fighting each other, I know almost nothing about you. And I'm not trying to pressure you. But I've watched you at some of your lowest, and you still avoid the pain like it's nothing. You can't just keep these things in, Perry. It isn't good for you. I would know."
"I don't have a girlfriend." Perry found himself spitting out.
Was it his imagination, or did his nemesis just sigh in relief?
"See? That's a start." Heinz let out a small smile.
Perry glanced at the TV. Right now, the characters on the screen were chasing down a runaway car and avoiding gunshots at the same time. The scene was strangely comical to watch without the sound to give it context.
"I don't keep my past hidden because I don't trust you." Perry finally admitted. "It's just O.W.C.A. protocol. Be confident. Be cold. Be fearless." He recited. "Because fear is weakness, you see. And love is the single most trigger for fear."
"That sounds more like 'evil scientist' protocol to me. Like what they taught in the classroom at evil science school."
Perry held his breath. Was his thinking really that twisted? Had he ever really learned what it meant to be a "good guy"? A hero? He clenched his fists even tighter, looking at the man unblinkingly. How could he even respond to that? But for once, Heinz wasn't saying anything. He waited, unthreateningly and patiently, unable to look away from their connected gaze, either.
Finally, Perry deeply exhaled. "I guess I have a lot of rethinking to do."
Heinz crossed his arms and laid back on the couch. "I just, I don't have to know your worst childhood traumas. But it would be nice to know something about you." "Well. What do you want to know?"
"What's your favorite color?"
"Black."
"Ah.. wait, really?"
Perry chuckled. "I do wear it every day. What's yours?"
"I thought I was asking the questions."
Perry pouted playfully. "But I don't know your favorite color."
"Fine. My favorite color is brown."
The platypus raised an eyebrow. "Like.. muddy brown? Chocolate brown?"
The doctor shrugged. "Warm brown. Like your eyes, brown."
Perry found himself blushing. Jeez, what was he, a teenaged school girl? He cleared his throat, hoping the doctor hadn't noticed that moment of emotion. "I used to wish my eyes were green. Green eyes are so beautiful."
"Well, don't. Your eyes are beautiful just the way they are." Heinz grinned. "Did you grow up in Danville?"
"No, I was born in California. I moved to Seattle as a small child, and lived there most of my life. I only relocated to Danville about seven years ago."
"You're from Cali? Explains a lot."
Perry lightly elbowed Heinz in the chest. "We were in very different parts of the world at that time, weren't we?"
"No kidding. Do your parents still live in Seattle?"
The agent's face fell. He leaned back a little bit, memories flooding him. "My mother and father both grew up in California. My mother passed away when I was five. That's why my father moved us to Seattle. My father passed away about.. twenty years ago, now."
"Ah." Doofenshmirtz sighed. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. My father was a jackass. And I don't really remember my mother."
Heinz looked as if he wanted to comment on that particular memory, but wisely decided to let it go. "So, what did your parents do for a living?"
Don't answer that.
Perry's first reaction was to skip that particular question and give the man a hard glare. But, he bit back the harsh words and forced himself to calm down. The man wasn't trying to pry. And didn't Perry say he trusted him?
"My mom was an O.W.C.A. agent, back when the American version of O.W.C.A. had human agents. And my dad.. my dad was.. evil. He was an evil scientist."
Heinz's mouth dropped. "Wait, seriously? How did that work?"
"I don't know." Perry sighed. "I have done all the research I can. They were nemeses, for years and years. I don't know how I came into the picture." The agent grimaced. "I'm pretty sure my dad murdered my mom all those years ago."
"Gosh. That's.. terrible. I'm sorry." There was an awkward pause. Perry played with the sleeves of his shirt, unsure what else to do. "So.." Heinz broke the silence with an awkward cough, "you decided to follow your mother then, huh? Is that why you turned yourself into a platypus? Because they don't allow human agents anymore?"
Perry hesitated. Heinz noticed, and suddenly covered his mouth with his hands. "If I'm being too nosy.."
"No." Perry sighed. "It's okay." Doesn't he deserve to know the real you? "Actually, it wasn't as simple as you think. I didn't know my mother. All I knew was my father and his lifestyle. I grew up listening to my father's monologues, seeing O.W.C.A. agents flying through our walls and doors, and battles that usually ended in blowing up my father's inventions."
Perry scrunched up his face as the memories passed him. "My father was always tearing me down, though. I loved him, and wanted to make him proud. But I also hated him, and wanted to hurt him. Eventually, I decided that if I became a better evil scientist than he was, I'd make him proud, and also hurt him at the same time. So, I went to UTA in Seattle, and-"
"Whoa, whoa whoa," Doofenshmirtz cut in, "I just heard you correctly, right?"
The agent let slip a hesitated laugh. "Yeah.. I know. It's weird to imagine. I still can't believe it happened sometimes."
"You were evil?"
The two were sitting so close that Perry could feel the man's breath on his shoulders. Their tight proximity was making his heart race, but he forced himself to concentrate. There was no way the man felt the same way. Making a move now would be a mistake. Especially considering the circumstances..
The agent shakily nodded his head. "Trust me, I understand you more than you think."
Heinz took a few moments to process the information, clearly trying to comprehend. Perry let him think, wishing he could read the man's mind. Finally, Heinz raised an eyebrow. "So, how are you a good guy now?"
Perry couldn't think about that night. He wouldn't. Vaguely, he replied, "My nemesis. He.. finally convinced me. So I faked my own death one night, and started over."
"Faked your own death?"
Perry swallowed. "I didn't fight Dr. Tecton, Heinz." He said in a low voice. "I am, or I guess was, Dr. Tecton. He's my worst fear because.. no matter how hard I try to be good, evil is still in me. It just.. it never goes away."
"Perry.." Heinz whimpered. "Evil isn't so bad, is it?"
"You researched me." Perry snapped. "What do you think?"
Seattle Destroyed by Terrorist. Seattle in ruins after fatal city-wide attack. The headlines ran through the Perry's head, causing his brutal, sharp tone. It caused the doctor to blink. The agent closed his eyes and took a deep breath, allowing the evil scientist to ponder for a moment. It was obvious Heinz had many more questions, but was trying very hard not to ask them. Maybe Perry would answer them someday, but he had had enough of talking about his fucked up past.
Perry remembered that day. He'd been so bitter, so angry, that he'd lost all control. Seattle had paid as a consequence. The agent remembered waking up on top of a building, sore and burned, and looked out to see his robots and weapons completely destroying building after building. People had been running for miles, desperately ducking for cover. But instead of feeling euphoria, Perry had felt something else.. guilt. For the first time in his life, he realized that he had no soul.
So he had taken the blaster, and shot his own head. If Peter hadn't found him, and healed him somehow, he wouldn't have been alive.
Of course, the treatment had come with consequences. In order to keep him alive, Peter had had to use Perry's own invention, the one that had turned the panda into a human in the first place, and fuse Perry's DNA with another animal.
So, Perry had faked his own death, and joined the agency.
"Perry?"
The platypus started as he realized Heinz was trying to get his attention. Perry took a deep breath and slightly smiled at the man, but it was a bittersweet smile. "I've told you all this to prove that I trust you. You now hold the information necessary to have me put in prison for life. Do you understand?"
Heinz nodded, still looking dazed. The two stayed in complete silence for a long time, watching the movie without sound, processing the moment that they'd just shared. Perry could feel Heinz pulling away from him, as if uncomfortable, or maybe even scared. It broke the agent's heart just a bit, but he knew he'd done the right thing.
Now, at least, their relationship would be honest.