Sorry for the delay but I am happy to report that I am finished with my first year of law school. The hardest year is now over; I will actually have some free time this year and oodles of free time this summer. I can't believe I survived it; it was so frightening when I began. I am so proud of myself and this chapter is one of celebration. And then it was all taken down when my laptop was stolen. I was in tears, and just felt like giving up. And you all responded with such kindness, this chapter is thanks to you. I want to give a special thanks to my amazing beta IDK, whose beautiful review inspired me to keep going. This one is for you, lovely reader!
It's Not Easy to Be Me
I wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I'll never see
It may sound absurd...but don't be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won't you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It's not easy to be me
-REM
Life as a slave was intolerable. Lu Ten could not imagine how other people endured being told what to and where to go and how to do it all the time. All the servants in the palace were honored to serve the Fire Lord and the royal family, but Lu Ten was forced to serve the lowest of the low, outlander Water Tribe savages. He was dressed in furry rags and had been starved on the tasteless gruel which was completely inedible. They did not even have the intelligence to cook for him separately to ensure it was to his tastes. How could he be expected to eat the same food as everyone else?
Worse, they had put him to work like a common drudge. He was now a horrible darker shade from working in the sun and he felt as though he was melting away from being forced to labor in the hot sun. How could he ever show his face in the Fire Nation again once he escaped?
To add insult to his injurious treatment, the crown prince of the Fire Nation, the heir to the throne, the direct descendant of Sozin himself, the future incarnation of Agni was scrubbing the filthy deck on his hands and knees like a slave.
If his friends from school could see him now, they would be horrified. Lu Ten knew they would bite back their comments to keep the lash off their backs, but inside, they would be disgusted or…amused? Could they enjoy his suffering? No, they would be miserable to see him suffer. The true question was…would they even notice him? Lu Ten was a prince…but no one thought he was. They'd walk right past him, the way Lu Ten had walked by thousands of slaves doing their work, uncaring of their comfort. After all, no one looked a slave in the face. No one cared what he thought or wanted, or needed. And he was a slave now.
Until a few days ago, his every whim had been everyone's command. He had spoken and it was done. Things had been so civilized; he had never realized how wonderful it was in his home. People knew their place back there. Fire Nation, the sanctuary of enlightenment.
But now, no one cared about his orders on this miserable wooden tub of a ship. The entire blasted prison ship could fit into a single wing of the palace. They gave him orders, and confined him in a smelly room, with only fur rags and horrible meals! It was a crime that cried out to the Sun itself, the Son of Agni could never be made to be treated like some peasant child. It was wrong. He was special. He was someone who deserved more than to be some drudge.
Surely he was still royalty. Royalty was inborn, it was something that could not be taken away from him, and it was something that was his birthright. All the fairy tales agreed, even in rags, a prince was still a prince. He would return home in triumph. Tales would be told of his bravery, songs would be composed in his honor. The mighty Lu Ten who defeated the evil peasants of the Water Tribe. If…he ever got home again.
He had wondered if patrol ships were looking for him. Each day, he had searched the horizon for ships, but had been heart broken by its emptiness. Had his family forgotten him? No, they would never forget their princes. But no one looked for dead men. Had Uncle seen the broken ship and been plunged into mourning? He couldn't imagine how his poor uncle must have felt to hear their deaths. Uncle never cried, but Lu Ten could only imagine that must have tested his resolve and poor Aunt Ursa would be heartbroken to lose her two boys.
Of course, Father would be destroyed by this. A sudden feeling of terror filled Lu Ten. What if Father broke down completely without him? He had to escape before something terrible happened. Stupid savages for keeping the princes prisoners and preventing them from saving the royal family!
As Lu Ten pondered bitterly, he was even more enraged to see wet boot prints across the floor he had just spent the previous hour cleaning. "Opps, so sorry," Shinta snickered, his big clumsy feet stamping in the silt. "Didn't see where I was going, slave boy. I guess you'll just have to start over."
Lu Ten sprang to his feet. "Clean it up yourself, you clumsy excuse for a savage. I will not be held responsible for your lack of intelligence or eyesight in seeing me," he snapped, his hands shaking. He could barely hold in his fire bending, he could feel the raging heat bubbling in his breath. "Do I have to teach you a lesson?" He had been spoiling for a way to unleash his aggression and this looked like a perfect target. He didn't need fire bending to put this wastrel in his place.
Shinta growled and shook his greasy hair like the savage dog he was. "Mind your manners, fancy mouth brat," he reminded. "You may have my dad fooled, but I know who you really are. You're Fire Nation. Those yellow eyes and the smell of evil give you away." A cold chill shuddered through Lu Ten's spine at that comment. This Shinta was smarter than he looked. He would have to outwit him. This shouldn't be too hard; the Water Tribe was inbred savages who lacked culture and breeding.
"If I'm Fire Nation, why haven't I lit you on fire?" Lu Ten said softly. This was getting terrifying, if Shinta figured this out, Zuko would be dead. He had to deflect suspicion away from what was the truth. He could feel the sun beating down on him, strengthening him. He was the future living incarnation of Agni, the Sun God. He would show no fear. He would just have to make sure to spread plenty of misinformation.
"How should I know the way a filthy Fire Nation scum thinks?" Shinta hissed. "For all I know, you're just waiting for your time to strike and kill us." Yes, he was. It was amazing how much a fool like him had figured out while wiser men like Hakoda were still in the dark. Still, this was to his advantage. No one would believe the idiot, as long as Lu Ten stayed calm.
"You're talking madness, claiming such wild rumors. Are you just trying to make excuses for a pathetic excuse of a warrior? You are just jealous that I'm more useful to the boat than you are. If an attack from the Fire nation came, you'd be a liability. Why didn't you stay behind with your women, and leave me here with the men?" Lu Ten smirked, trying to hide his terror. If someone as dumb as Shinta was starting to cotton on, then things were getting very dangerous and he would have to be careful. "I know liability has a lot of syllables. Do you need me to define the word?" He had to keep stressing his superior intellect over this animal. His secret could not be found out.
"You little…" Shinta growled, towering over him in his fury. Yet he took a step back when the younger boy stepped forward. It was almost hilarious, Lu Ten was a head and shoulders smaller than him and yet, he could make the oaf quake. Shinta had at least learned to keep his distance.
"Careful. People who can be trounced by those who are half their size should take care how they speak. I might make you eat your words," Lu Ten smirked, enjoying the ability to bully one member of the crew without worry for the consequences. "Though really, is that the best insult you can offer? Are you really that boorish?"
"Shut up, you got a lucky shot the first time, but you won't repeat it," Shinta hissed. "So learn your place or I'll shove your nose it." But there was fear in his ugly blue eyes. He knew that another step and Lu Ten would happily throw him over the railing.
"I think you know you would be on the floor bleeding," Lu Ten said, patting the victory knife. "I'm a better warrior than you will ever be. I've already made you go crying to your Mama. Or are you so thick headed you need to be thrashed often as a reminder of your failure? Now, clean up your mess before I make you!" It was not an idle threat; Lu Ten had already sunk into a fighting stance. "And I don't need Fire to teach you to mind your manners." Though if forced to, he would be happy to supply some fireworks.
"Shut up," Shinta ordered, his jaw set and his hands shaking. Lu Ten was getting to him. All he needed was Shinta to take a swing at him and he'd have every excuse to trounce him into the ground. Hakoda had warned dire consequences for the first blow, but nothing about defending oneself.
"I'm just telling you the truth. If the Fire Nation was here, you'd be pissing in your pants, begging them for mercy. If one man could have you flat on your back, imagine what the army would do to you," Lu Ten smirked, taking another step forward menacingly. "You would be of no use; you wouldn't be able to protect the tribe."
"I said to shut up," Shinta hissed, standing his ground. His eyes had widened and he seemed to be unable to control his breathing. Lu Ten relished his suffering. It was wonderfully amusing.
"Do you deny that a warrior four years younger destroyed you in a fight? Behold, the future of the Water tribe," Lu Ten snickered. "The way you fought, you'd likely cost your people the entire war. All of the deaths and injuries would be your fault, the useless lump that couldn't even defend his own family. And do you know what the Fire nation would do to you?" Oh, Lu Ten knew exactly what would happen to Shinta when Lu Ten returned in triumph after his dramatic escape. "Shall I tell you?"
"One more word out of you," Shinta shouted, picking up an oar and holding it menacingly. Lu Ten had to laugh at his horrible grip. He could take it from him in a moment.
"I'm sure the Fire Nation would say the same to you, as they'd put you in chains. One more word out of you and you'd have your tongue cut out. Then they'd make sure you revealed everything you knew. They'd make you beg for mercy. I could just hear it; you'd be blubbing like a baby, and hoping that they just took you to the mines. Not that you'd be much use there, you actually need muscles and intelligence to be of use. You are just dead weight," Lu Ten sneered. A few hours in the Chill Chamber would make any man beg for mercy. That would teach that blaggard to mind his tongue and his feet when in the presence of his betters. Shinta deserved to be dealt with like the Earth kingdom had done to him. Lu Ten had been innocent, but Shinta would get just what was coming to him. The sun beat down on the two boys, warming Lu Ten's temper considerably. "Frankly, if Hakoda needed someone to protect the ship, it wouldn't be you who he picked. Face it; I'm here to replace you, as you are worthless to everyone around him."
The look of raw hatred burning in Shinta's eyes made even Lu Ten nervous. A raw nerve had been struck. "You are one to talk about being of use. At least I am a free man. I can walk off this ship whoever I want," Shinta hissed, shaking with rage. "You're a slave who thinks too high above their station. Just think what I could do to you."
Lu Ten opened his mouth to say something, but there was nothing to say. Everything Shinta was saying was true. "You don't keep slaves," he finally snapped, but the confidence in his voice had faded.
"Of course we do. We bought you with money, didn't we? Don't you get it? You are property. We can sell you again at any time. Heck, we might even separate you and your brother. We can do whatever we want to you and there is no one who would care. If we want to, we can have you chained up with a collar like a dog, or put you in shackles," Shinta seethed, towering over him. "And the law would be on our side. Slaves have no rights."
Lu Ten had so much to say, but he was afraid his voice would shake. Who would care if they beat them or killed them? They were only princes in civilized society. Outside it, they were just as vulnerable and helpless as anyone else was. There was nothing he could do to protect his cousin or himself. There was no army to defend him. There was no country to honor him. He was alone in the abyss of the unknown.
"Nothing to say now? Good to see you finally learned to hold your tongue and got some respect. You get treated really nice and you just take advantage of it. After all, you should be addressing me as master. In spite of everything about me being young, I'm the son of the second in command. I may inherit you someday." Lu Ten tried to control his feelings, but the words were like daggers in his chest. Property could be inherited and according to the law, Shaya was property. And Lu Ten was their enemy, to be killed on sight. He had no way of defending himself. "And just remember, Hakoda and Dad won't always be there. And when they aren't…I'm in charge. And if you don't show me some respect, I'll be the one to sell you to the slave mines. Sure, they'll give me a good thrashing, but it will be worth it. And there's nothing you can do about it. Unless of course, you fall on your knees and beg me to spare your worthless life for the way you just spoke to me," Shinta said bitterly. "So what do you plan to do?"
Lu Ten only managed to avoid fire bending by sheer will. It didn't stop him from flying at the older boy and knocking him to the ground. "I can kill you," he shrieked, his hands trembling with rage. "And then you'll never be able to hurt my brother." Shinta was tall, but Lu Ten had been well taught. He easily pinned the boy beneath him with a kick to the chest that winded him. He was going to slit the blaggard's throat!
Sadly, this pleasure was denied him as a large hand grabbed him. "What is going on here? What are you both, the age of Hanzo? He manages to take his duties without going to blows with everyone around him?" Hakoda demanded. "What is going on here? Can't you two behave yourselves like adults?"
"Let me be," Lu Ten hissed, fighting to get away as he dangled in the air like ripe fruit. "I must exact my vengeance against him." If he killed him, he would win his freedom. A Fire bender always had the right to a trial by combat.
"I told you, Shaya, no fighting. And Shinta…you're twice his size and your bullying is getting out of hand. This has to stop; you both have to learn to work together. This is a small shop, tempers flare but you must learn some self control," Hakoda snapped, dragging Lu Ten by the scruff to the side. "Calm down."
"He insulted my honor. I demand satisfaction, a trial by combat," Lu Ten seethed as he dangled helplessly. "Otherwise, there will be no peace." He would take great pleasure in snapping the brute's neck. It was a battle to the death and only one of them would survive.
"He tried to kill me," Shinta gasped, as he forced himself to his feet. "I want this noted." The crew of the ship had milled around, looking at the fight with disapproval. Could this get any worse?
"And I'm sure you goaded him on till he was seething. You know, you could drive a grandmother to swear, Shinta. And Shaya, learn to control your temper. Just because someone is being an arse doesn't mean you should respond with your fists. Use your words, you aren't a toddler," Hakoda scolded. "I really wish you two would settle your differences peacefully."
"It will never happen. He needs to learn his place," Shinta snarled. "And I am going to teach it to him." That was rich. Lu Ten had bested better warriors than him. This would be far too easy. Slave he might be, but he'd win his freedom and the freedom of his cousin today.
The bearded mountain Kesuk sighed. "It might be best to let them have at it, Hakoda. Boys will be boys and these boys seem to need to get their anger out or there will never be any peace," he advised gently, helping Shinta up.
"I agree, let them hash it out. The two little pups are obviously chomping at the bits," Yakone agreed, and Lu Ten almost forgave him for ratting his injuries out.
"The men are right. If you two need to fight it out in order to get along normally, that's fine. But you do it in a fair fight," Hakoda said. "With rules. You will use half strength, no weapons. You fight till being pinned, no lethal force or wounding of the opponent. Any breaking of the rules is an automatic victory for the opponent and merits a trip over my knee," Hakoda said sternly. "Is that understood?"
"Should we handicap? It doesn't seem fair," Kesuk said softly, looking at the obvious difference in height and weight. They had no idea what they were doing; they still thought he was some helpless child. "I would hate to see him hurt."
"All right, how do you want to handicap me?" Lu Ten said pertly, watching Shinta's face turn red with anger. Confuse the oaf and make him clumsy. Father would be so proud. "I do want this to be a fair fight."
"Quiet, pup," Hakoda warned, letting Lu Ten go. "If you're so confident, I won't stop you from getting a drubbing but don't blame me for what happens. And Shinta, watch yourself. Remember, half strength. You hurt him and you will be very sorry."
"I'm just going to teach the little crab some respect," Shinta snarled, completely infuriated. "And one that he won't soon forget." Lu Ten snickered bitterly and was actually glad he didn't have guards to fight for him. There were some things that should be handled personally.
"All right, begin," Hakoda said, waving his hand. "And let this be the final one." Lu Ten allowed Shinta to attack first. There was only one goal right now, to humiliate that oaf as much as possible and make sure he never threatened him again. Shinta ran at him like a charging rhino, just as it was practiced.
Lu Ten slipped his fingers into a loose grip and easily flipped Shinta over his shoulder, using the brute's own strength against him. The idiot landed in a heap behind him and the young prince turned gracefully to meet the challenge. He could hear the gasps of shock from the crewmembers. They should fear him. He was no slave to be sold at market; he was a warrior who was worth keeping around.
Shinta got to his feet and charged at him again as Lu Ten predicted. This time, the young prince easily stepped aside, and stuck out his foot to trip him. "Too slow," he sneered as the bastard tumbled to a heap to the floor. "You are really boring me. Come on, give me a challenge." Shinta lunged again, and this time nearly landed a punch. Lu Ten blocked a second blow and hit him in the chest again, making the idiot double over in pain. Lu Ten laughed as he turned and swept Shinta's legs from under him. "You're pathetic." Humiliate him in a duel and reclaim his honor. It was the only way to protect Zuko.
As a seasoned Fire Nation warrior, Lu Ten knew better than to land too many blows. One more hard kick and the fight would be over. No, he wanted to humiliate him and make him suffer. He wanted to show Shinta as a coward and a waste of space on the ship, show himself more valuable and worth keeping. Besides, one swift strike would be too much force and would get him disqualified. He enjoyed the looks of shock and wonder on the crew's face. They were getting to see a real warrior fight, instead of their pitiful savagery.
Still, it was getting boring to just flipping him around. Lu Ten decided to teach the bastard a true lesson, ending the fight without doing any permanent damage. He pretended to hesitate and allowed Shinta to get closer to him. This was a new move he had been practicing and he knew it would be perfect for use against a taller opponent. He looked up at Shinta and flipped backwards, landing on his hands. With a whirl of his legs, he kicked Shinta in the stomach. Unprepared, the oaf fell backwards, hitting his head on the wooden floor and didn't get up.
Landing on his feet, Lu Ten smirked as he stood over his opponent and unleashing his knife. "I even tried to give you an opening and you couldn't take it," he lied, proud of how he had lured his opponent in. Father would be proud. "Withdraw," he ordered, giving him a kick. "And I name my price. Swear you will never sell me or my brother." He had humiliated his enemy and it was a shame he couldn't scar him. Of course, only Fire Nation was worthy of true force in an Angi Kai. This was a savage who would someday be in chains before him, begging for his life. Just like he was now.
"What do you mean, sell them?" Kesuk asked, stepping in to make sure Lu Ten didn't finish the job. "No one has the right to sell anyone on the ship." Lu Ten's heart lifted at that comment. He was safe.
"You threatened to sell them?" Hakoda thundered furiously. "Shinta, Shaya and Hanzo are free men. We are civilized and there do not keep slaves. We redeemed them but we do not own them. How dare you lie to them?" Perhaps…perhaps there was no reason for him to be afraid.
"You don't understand, Uncle Hakoda. You didn't hear what he said to me," Shinta snapped. "He's dangerous and he needs to be put in his place."
"I don't care what he said. You have no right to say such terrible things to him. I'm warning you, you will not like what will happen if you start up with him again. And it won't just be Shaya beating you up, which he amply has proven he can do," Hakoda said. "Maybe you should be humbling yourself and trying to learn from him. Now, get below. Your father will deal with you."
"Uncle Hakoda, he's our enemy," Shinta protested, but his voice was feeble and distraught. He rose to his feet, his shoulders shaking. "Mark my words, he'll kill us all our beds and you won't be able to blame me."
"Out of my sight," Hakoda snapped, pointing downstairs to the hold. "If I were you, I'd be thinking of what I would be saying to your father when he calls you to account for your lies. I can assure you, he will not be happy." Shinta cowered as he scurried away, completely ashamed. Perhaps the brat would be taken to the whipping post for his actions. Lu Ten had seen many slaves whipped for insolence and he would actually enjoy seeing the brat punished.
"Shaya, I want you to understand that you and your brother aren't slaves. We don't own you. You are part of our family and we mean to keep you, safe and sound. The only reason why your movement is restricted is because you are still a child. You need to be protected from the world. We will never hurt you; we will give you a good life. Shinta was lying and I promise, it will never happen again."
Lu Ten lowered his head and nodded. "Thank you," he said softly. He could not believe how grateful he was that this savage tribe was uncivilized enough not to keep slaves. It was the first time he had genuinely thanked his captors. He could feel Zuko's arms around his waist.
"But you were going to kill him and I can't allow that to happen on my ship. You are restricted to your room for the night. You need to cool down," Hakoda ordered. It was the best punishment ever. Lu Ten wasn't sure he could face the crew at this moment. "I'll send someone later with your dinner."
"Yes, I understand completely," Lu Ten said regally, bowing his head. It was no punishment, he enjoyed sitting with his cousin alone.
Zuko slid his tiny hand into Lu Ten's grip and pulled him away. "You are amazing," he whispered, his eyes lit up. Lu Ten had kept him safe. He was a prince, and a prince who protected his people as was his duty. "I'm so proud."
Lu Ten squeezed his hand wordlessly, still rejoicing that they were not to be sold. At least he had one less worry.
The hawk came at dusk, when Prince Iroh had been enjoying a fine meal. The battle had gone well today and only ten men had died. Four hundred Earth savages had perished and hundreds more had been taken prisoner, to join their fellows in the slave mines. The city of Xiang was no more; it was now the city of Azulon. It would be a day to remember, history had been made. In a few short years, there would be only the memory of the Earth kingdom. It would be Fire Nation colonies, a tribute to the greatest nation in the world. It was an overwhelming victory.
Therefore, no one had been shocked when a royal hawk had flown into the camp. It was most likely a cheerful letter from Prince Lu Ten, who wrote weekly to his father. Such a sweet boy, he would make a fine Fire Lord someday. He was all the general ever spoke about it.
It was only when Private Kai came into the room to clean up the general's dinner that he realized something was wrong. The general had drunken himself into a fine state and had collapsed to the floor. It was strange behavior for the dignified prince who was so careful of his honor. What possessed the general to drink himself unconscious? He had drunk enough to have blue tinged skin, a sign of alcohol fever!
Heaving him up, he helped the prince to the bed and laid him down. After covering him with a blanket, he sighed and wondered why the general had behaved so strangely on such a fine day of victory. Although many of the men were drunk, it was strange for a happy man to be drinking alone, and so much to risk his life. A few more moments and the prince might have died, choking on his own vomit.
A crumpled scroll with the seal of the Fire Lord had been left on the floor there. It looked as if it had been dropped to the ground. Knowing that reading it could mean his life, Kai resolved to pick it up and keep his eyes in the other direction. He was only twenty-five; he had no wish to see Agni yet.
Yet, his eyes could not tear themselves away from the message.
"Very high and mighty brother,
I fear I must convey terrible news. Your precious only son and my own Zuko were lost in a boating accident. Father sends his condolences. I cannot comprehend my grief; I only wish I could have done more. I hope you will find comfort in knowing Lu Ten did not suffer and died a true son of his people. I myself have lost the apple of my eye and share your pain. May the Earth nation feel our sorrow and suffer!
Your most devoted and beloved brother,
Prince Ozai"
Kai gasped. The Fire nation had lost the heirs to the throne, the hope of the future. A little toddler of a girl was all that stood between the nation and anarchy! But as he replaced the note, he could only feel pity for Prince Iroh, who had collapsed in his agony. Kai would die for his master, but there was nothing he could do now. The Prince was beyond help now. He had lost his beloved wife and now his only child was dead at the age of twelve.
Kai had met Prince Lu Ten a few times and had remembered an intelligent young boy with an incredible mastery of Fire bending and a wide mischievous smile. He would have made the Nation proud; he would have been a great ruler who would have been just and wise. And little baby Prince Zuko, he remembered a plump baby who tugged after his elder cousin. Their lives were extinguished like candles in the night. They were dead and beyond any help.
How would he ever tell the troops? Their morale would be completely broken! The entire Fire Nation future was a young girl who was barely out of swaddling clothes. A mere illness and the dynasty would be destroyed. But as he thought of the nation, he realized that this was also a private tragedy. Iroh had lost his only child and his nephew. This was not a time to think of state matters, but to mourn. He silently tended his master in bed and said nothing to the men. There would be time for panic later.
Right now, he needed to make sure General Iroh survived the night. Otherwise, there would be no hope for the Fire nation at all. He sighed and sponged his master's head, sending a prayer to the Sun to protect his beloved children. Otherwise, the greatest kingdom in history would fall into disrepair.
Kai steeled himself. No one would know of the general's illness. He would have to hide it from the men till Prince Ozai could come and take over.
For the little princes' memory, Kai would be brave. In their name, he and the army would fight.
The two princes were finally alone. Lu Ten relished the times where the ship would grow dark and it was just him and his cousin, a small island of civility in an ocean of savagery. Of course, his cousin was picking up some bad habits, one Lu Ten was determined to eradicate. "I will not tell you again. It's time for lessons. I won't have your education neglected just because we're prisoners of these savages," he ordered in a low voice. "Recite the order of the Fire Lord."
"I'm too tired," Zuko whispered. "Can't you just sing to me and give me a back rub?" he asked. He still looked haunted by their treatment by the Earth Kingdom; he needed to take his mind off what happened.
"Come on, you know this. At least start it," Lu Ten urged, curling up on the furs. "The crew is asleep. We're safe now, we're going to run away soon and we don't want to have missed too many lessons."
Zuko sighed and pulled the furs over his knees. "Agni gave the crown to Azariah the Sun Master, the Fire Sage who claimed the Fire Nation as his own," he began in annoyed tone. "This is so boring."
"And he gave it to Temujin the Flame Demon, who built the first city of the Fire nation," Lu Ten continued, easily reciting the names of his ancestors. "Your turn."
"I think he gave it to his son Zohan," Zuko continued in a bored tone, laying his head down on Lu Ten's lap. "Right?"
"He willed it to his nephew Zahir the Dragon Tamer, who tamed the first dragons of the Fire Nation. You know this, Zuzu. Concentrate," Lu Ten ordered, giving Zuko a tug on the ear. "A prince cannot spend his time daydreaming."
"Zahir gave it to…" Zuko mumbled, closing his eyes and clearly trying to concentrate. "I can't remember who comes next."
"Come on, Zuzu. It's simple, Zahir gave it to his daughter, Savitri the Golden Eyed who founded the Great Library and was the wife of Avatar Dehun," Lu Ten said, poking Zuko in the ribs. "This is your family, after all. You should know where you came from." It was important for him not to forget who he really was, when they were both in the dregs of captivity. "Great Grandfather said a nation without a past has no future."
"I'm tired. Why can't we just have slaves to recite this for us?" Zuko mumbled, earning himself another sharp ear tug from Lu Ten. "I don't like history. I am your cousin; you're going to be Fire Lord. Everyone will serve you. Isn't that enough?"
"Well, you're going to learn to like it, Zu. I won't have you learning bad manners from these savages. Did you see the way they ate? They aren't even human," Lu Ten explained patiently, a note of irritation creeping in towards the end. "You must remember who you are at all times."
"They did save us from the pirates," Zuko piped up insolently. "We do owe them our lives. Maybe they are human like us." Where did he get stupid ideas like that from?
"Do you need a reminder with the spoon?" Lu Ten snapped, wondering if his cousin was being insolent or just lacked intelligence. He didn't know which one was worse. He really would have to break this habit of talking back, before Grandpa took it out of him. That would be a lot more painful than Lu Ten's lighter reminders. Still, he had never struck his cousin before and really preferred leaving that to his tutors. Even if it was needed, it was horribly unpleasant.
"No, sir," Zuko said softly, squirming at the threat. He grimaced and tried to put on a more proper, princely expression. "I'll be quiet and proper," he said, folding his hands into his lap and holding his head high.
"And don't forget to concentrate. This stuff is simple for you to learn, you should be able to recite it in your sleep. How do you expect to lead the people someday when you can't even recite a basic royal lineage?" Lu Ten scolded, pushing Zuko's posture straighter. Zuko did have a lazy streak in him, something Lu Ten hoped to see corrected. Everyone indulge Zuko too much, that was the problem. He would have to be very firm with him and make sure Zuko learned his lesson.
"I'm sorry," Zuko whimpered, his eyes filling with tears. "I'll try harder, I promise." He did look rather pitiful, those big golden eyes that melted everyone's heart and convinced them to spoil him. It did him no good to be mollycoddled like that. Still, he did deserve some kind remarks.
"See that you do, little cousin. I need you by my side when I am Fire Lord. So after that, Savitri gave it to her son, Azraen the Master Builder who built the city and made it the most beautiful in the world," Lu Ten recited easily, giving his cousin a smile. He had always been good at history, (and everything else) and he would drill it into his cousin if it killed them both. "Who comes next?" he urged.
"Azraen…handed the throne to Ei-Tan the Inferno," Zuko continued, earning himself a nod of approval. "He was the one you were named for, Uncle's favorite Fire Lord. He established the Fire nation schooling system and the first forms of martial arts. His travels in the Earth Kingdom were the start of culture for the backwards people," he continued, beginning to stumble.
"Come on, he fought against Chin the Conqueror and slew him, mightily? He knocked the blaggard off a cliff," Lu Ten reminded, wondering if he should be letting Zuko sleep. They both needed their rest, but he couldn't let Zuko forgot who he was. "He handed the throne to Surya the Jewel of the Sun who was the greatest ruler in Fire Nation history, conquering much land in the Earth Kingdom before nobly giving it back to appease the cruel Avatar Kyoshi." He resisted the urge to spit at the mention of the Avatar. The cruel despot who controlled four Nations and who forced others to live according to selfish whims. With Agni's help, he and his cruel race had been wiped off the face of the planet and had not been seen for nearly a century.
"Because the Avatar is cruel and corrupt and must be stopped," Zuko recited back, showing that some of the lessons had penetrated his skull. Finally, some good news that Zuko wasn't a complete earth-brain.
"Yes, exactly. So Surya handed her throne to Azalya the Beautiful whose charm and wit allowed her to bring culture all over the world. She handed the throne to her husband, Sorin who handed the throne to Sozin the Conqueror who began the great war of defense. He handed the throne to Azulon, may he live forever," Lu Ten said, bowing his head. His grandfather…the greatest man in the world. Lu Ten had to believe that because it was true.
"And after him comes Uncle and then you," Zuko piped up helpfully, his eyes bright with the joy of finishing the lesson and being able to move on from his least favorite topic, schoolwork. "With me at your side as your best soldier!" It was wonderful to hear the fact that his spirits were still hopeful after all that he had endured. For one so small, Zuko was one of the strongest people Lu Ten ever knew. Grown men would have been destroyed with what he had been forced to endure, but Zuko was a son of Agni. He was made of fire.
"Always," Lu Ten said, pulling him up and giving him a hug. "I am very proud of you. You are going to be a fine prince someday, a great leader. And when we return home, I will work on your Fire bending with you. I'll make a proper prince out of you." Zuko was the brother he should have had. Even though he wished Zuko had not suffered so, it was so wonderful to have him along for moral support. Zuko was a light of hope, always cheerful and happy and hopeful. Lu Ten was proud of him.
"Will you teach me that move where you tripped him from the headstand?" Zuko looked up at Lu Ten with adoration. "That was incredible. That's why Mama says you'll be a master soon. You could almost see the flames," he babbled.
Lu Ten paled when he realized his cousin's words. He had been showing off his sets…and doing Fire bending sets in front of Water Tribe savages. How could he have been so foolish and thoughtless? "I…" he began, feeling so angry at himself. He imagined most men his age laced the training in martial arts that had allowed him to so easily win the fight. He shouldn't have shown off, he should have acted clumsier! Why hadn't he thought of this?
"I thought we weren't supposed to show off," Zuko asked, forming a small fire with his hands. "Why did you do it?" Was he being mocked? Spending a few days on this Agni hating ship had already corrupted the boys' manners and their senses.
"Shut up, I will not be questioned," Lu Ten hissed, putting out the fire in his cousin's hands. He was the prince, and the prince was never mocked. "If I decide to do something, you will accept it as the right thing to do." Lu Ten had been wrong. He had been so stupid and hadn't seen it. How could he admit to such shameful failure?
"But…I don't understand," Zuko began, folding his arms. He was an adorable travel companion, but even Lu Ten had his limits. Zuko was being insolent and not shutting up. "You would have been so angry if I would have done that. Why did you do it?" he asked, looking almost defiant as he rubbed in Lu Ten's mistakes.
"Do you like the ability to sit down comfortably?" Lu Ten growled, grabbing his cousin's wrist and giving him a shake. "I'm still your guardian right now, and you know what happens to little boys who talk back to your guardians…" he threatened. He could not be wrong. He was the prince, he was the future ruler. If he was wrong, he could be the weak link that destroyed the nation. "What would your parents say if they knew you were being insolent?" If they were found out…they'd be turned over to the Earth Kingdom.
Images of his cousin clapped back in chains tore through his mind. Zuko would never survive time in prison, he was so fragile and vulnerable, and he could not survive alone in the world! He needed to be protected and it was Lu Ten's job to sacrifice for him. How was that supposed to happen when he was showing off like a fool?
"I'm sorry," Zuko said softly, lowering his eyes. It wasn't his fault. Lu Ten wanted to tell him that, but that would mean admitting weakness. He had to be stern or he would lose all respect in Zuko's eyes. "Please forgive me." If only Lu Ten could beg Zuko's forgiveness for endangering his life, for failing to be a proper leader.
"You are old enough to know what proper behavior is," Lu Ten commanded regally, trying to hide how his hands trembled. What if they figured out who he was? It would be his fault. Zuko's blood would be on his head. He would burn in the underworld for a thousand years, nothing was worse in the eyes of Agni than a lord who failed to protect his people! He was the great grandson of Sozin the Inferno, grandson of Azulon the Firestorm and son of Iroh, the Dragon of the West. How could he ever explain such failure to the great Sun God? Worse, how could he explain such failure to his grandfather? It was Lu Ten's job and he could not fail. A prince who failed…deserved death. Lu Ten had cheated death once and aimed to continue such a trend. "How dare you speak to me this way?"
Zuko fell to his knees. "I'm really sorry I was insolent," he whispered, his head on his own trembling hands. "I know you will take care of me and bring me home. I shouldn't question you." The young prince looked so earnest and obedient that his heart broke. It wasn't really his cousin's fault; he shouldn't have been so hard on him. His father would have known what to do. His father was searching for him and if Lu Ten could just be strong, he would just have to wait it out. Surely, his father would not rest till his body was found. Yes, they would be brought home, if they could just wait till rescue.
Lu Ten steeled himself. He would not betray his cousin's trust. He would not show weakness. He was right. He had to be right, or everything would be wrong. That could never be allowed to happen. "You are forgiven," he said benevolently as he patted his cousin's fluffy hair. "Now, we should have some rest." He would never show Zuko how frightened and confused he was. That was his burden alone.
That night, Lu Ten watched his cousin sleep soundly and wished he could cry. He wished he could throw a fit, scream, yell or do something to release all the feelings inside him. Fire Lords and their heirs didn't have that luxury. They had to be strong for the people, they had to be heroic. No one would ever know how much he suffered, especially not Zuko. It was up to him to save his cousin from certain doom. He had no choice, but to make sure signs of weakness were chocked down.
"Everything is all right," he had assured Zuko after tucking him into the furs. "I will get us home. Just rest and know I will always keep you safe." It was a promise he would keep, even if he had no ability. No matter how much Hakoda assured him they were safe, they had still been purchased. They were still slaves. And they were still Fire benders in the hands of savages.
He had to be more careful. The mistake he made today could never be repeated. He had relaxed his guard and nearly ripped off the mask from his face. As he curled up next to Zuko, his throat caught with the memories of being a prisoner of the Earth kingdom. He could not survive a second dose and neither could Zuko. It was up to him to show the good sense not to ever let it happen again or die in the attempt.
The shadows on the wall loomed over him, and seemed like Earth benders wanting to snatch and grab him, to seize him and crush him and make him scream and cry. Lu Ten bit his lip to keep from crying. It was only his imagination, he had to fight his fears, no matter how real they seemed. He would not let this happen. There would be no more mistakes.
Lu Ten could forgive his cousin. He would not forgive himself so easily.
AN-Poor Lu Ten. He really has a warped idea of authority, he can't understand the idea of benevolent authority, he can only understand being authority out of fear. He has no idea how to someone who commands respect out of kindness. It is horrible to think how much he forces himself to suffer alone, and not share his very heavy burdens. I hope this shows what terror Lu Ten truly faces. Behind the spoiled brat is a very terrified little boy who is only twelve and desperately is afraid of being tortured or treated like a slave.
In the next chapter, Lu Ten is pushed to the edge.
"Please, let him go, I'll do what you want," Lu Ten pleaded, all the bravery gone. "Just put him down and you can hold me hostage instead. Please don't hurt him." The terror in Zuko's eyes was painful. Zuko was expecting his cousin to save him and he couldn't even do a single thing for him. –Chapter 10
Again, thank you so much for your wonderful reviews and messages of support. I hope this chapter was worth waiting for, because it was a wonderful experience to write, knowing how much you all were rooting for me.