Fragile 19: Light Before We Land

Before we let euphoria convince us we are free
Remind us how we used to feel before when life was real-The Delgados

Sorry for the delay (although after the last delay, this is nothing), I got injured and real life took priority. Here is the next chapter, a bit shorter than usual but it's a break we needed before the action picks up again big time. The Fire Nation is about to become very important, we'll be hearing from them very soon.

Lu Ten was in pain. His leg ached terribly, he couldn't warn himself and worst of all, he was bored out of his mind. At home, he'd have slaves to amuse him. He had been forced to wait a very long time for everything. He was so weak and exhausted and he just wanted to sleep forever.

Still, a kind surprise had lifted his spirits. "Look who has come to visit you?" Shinta boomed, obviously trying to cheer him up. "Hanzo, your brother has been waiting to see you." Zuko was standing next to the older boy, looking frightened. "We thought you could use some cheering up."

Zuko was staring at the ground. "Thank you," Lu Ten said, wishing he could hug his cousin, but he was too weak to move. "How are you, kiddo?" he said in a soft tone. He was definitely seeing a new side to his cousin. "I missed you, little brother."

Shinta obviously noticed the need for privacy. "I'll leave you two alone," he mumbled, not wanting to make things more awkward. "Don't stay too long, Hanzo. Your brother needs to rest up or he'll be no use to us."

"Come, sit with me," Lu Ten said, barely able to sit up. "I'm so happy to see you. I really wanted to talk to you."

"Are you still mad at me?" Zuko said, keeping his distance. He was scared of him. There was actual fear in his eyes. How could this be possible?

Lu Ten smiled. "Of course not. You learned your lesson and I know you won't do it again. I don't want to ever punish you again," he said gently. "You got what you deserved, and now the slate is clean."

Zuko's worried expression turned to hatred. "I didn't deserve you hitting me!" he muttered angrily. "I don't like you anymore."

"Zu…don't be mad at me," Lu Ten whispered, feeling ashamed of himself. He couldn't stand to see the look of betrayal in his cousin's eyes." You mean the world to me. I did what was right. You know that."

Zuko looked away. "I don't want to speak to you," he said coldly. "Are you going to order me to?" He he been well enough, Lu Ten would have raised his hand to deliver a slap, but couldn't even muster the anger to do it. He wanted to hit something, but his trembling cousin wasn't the target of his fury.

"No, I'm not going to order you to speak. But you know I was right, being angry is stupid. You need to remember that," Lu Ten said soothingly. "I was just trying to maintain order."

"You tried to hurt me!" Zuko accused, pointing a trembling little finger at him. "You hit me and you threatened to burn me up. You're supposed to be my best friend, but you're mean."

"Please understand, you told our secret. I didn't want to hurt you, but…But no…" Lu Ten whispered, his voice trembling. "You left me no choice. I did what I had to do. You must accept that."

Zuko held his head held high. "I hate you," he hissed over his shoulder. "We aren't cousins anymore. I will never come visit you again. I am going to forget all about you. I don't want to be your Daimyo anymore, and you aren't my prince!"

Lu Ten sunk into his bed, tearfully. He was a miserable failure and at the moment, he didn't know if he ever wanted to wake up. He had beaten his own cousin, had terrified him and had lost his trust. He had allowed their identities to be found out. "Don't say that, please," he begged.

"You hit me. Uncle Hakoda never hits me. And Shinta says we're Water Tribe now, so we might as well become used to life here. And if we are, I want to be with people who won't hit me. You don't care about me! You just want to tell me what to do! Well, now I don't have to listen. You can command me, but I won't obey! You're mean and selfish and I hate you!"

Lu Ten couldn't argue with that. "You're right. You can go now," he whispered sadly, turning over in bed so Zuko wouldn't see the tears in his eyes. He could hear Zuko's tiny footsteps walk out. He wanted to sob but no tears fell. There was nothing to cry about, he could only wallow in his failure and wonder if he would ever recover his honor.

—-

There was no sense of time in the tiny room. Days and nights faded into one long sleep-filled haze. Lu Ten lay there helplessly, his illness growing stronger. He was too tired to fight anymore. All he could see was Zuko's hateful eyes staring back at him. In dream, life was better, in dreams there was no pain. There was only empty darkness where no one hated or hurt him anymore.

Kesuk had tried to make him eat, to make him respond. It was a useless effort. He had ruined his chances of ever returning home, Hakoda would never let him near Zuko again and there could be no return if he had lost his cousin. He could not face his family and he would deserve the worse punishment.

"It's time for you to eat," Hakoda said. "I brought you a nice broth." It smelled wonderful, but Lu Ten didn't feel interested. He wanted to return to the world of dreams where no one would ever hurt him again.

"I'm not hungry," Lu Ten whispered. "Just leave me alone." He had no appetite, he was useless and he didn't deserve to eat.

Hakoda sat down next to him and placed the bowl on the floor. "It's been three days and you're getting weaker. You can't even lift your head properly." he asked. "A strong boy like you should not fade so quickly. Your leg is healing nicely but your fever is still up. So what seems to be the problem?"

Lu Ten shrugged. "I said I'm fine. I'm your prisoner, stop pretending as if you care about me," he said bitterly. "Just leave me be." He didn't care what happened now. A few more days and it wouldn't matter.

"I don't care how long it takes for this to sink into your thick little head, my boy but I do care about you. I think of you as a member of my crew. Outside this ship, you may a prince, but right now, you're just my new nephew. You need to obey me and my first order is you eat something."

Lu Ten glared. "You're nothing like my uncle," he said, but relaxed his tone as he considered his next words. "But you are kind for saving us. If you take care of my brother, I will be indebted to you for life," he continued. "If I ever get back my properties, the royal treasures will be laid before you." He closed his eyes at the word, if. He had no idea if he would ever see his family again. They thought he was dead. "If I die, go to my martial arts teacher, a sage called Saba. Tell him the little Dragon wishes to share the flames. She'll understand."

Hakoda laughed. "We can discuss rewards. If you want to reward me, kindly explain why you have decided to starve yourself?"

"I can't go home with Zuko. And I can't go home with him, he won't even speak to me. Frankly, I just lost my appetite," he mumbled, pulling the covers over his head.

Hakoda yanked them off. "You know, I've tried begging, I've tried pleading and I am losing my patience. If you don't eat….I'll break my word and give you the spanking of a lifetime," he threatened. "And you know I keep my word."

"So you punished me for hitting my brother and plan to do the same to me?" Lu Ten asked mildly. "Do your worst. You'll likely just kill me faster."

Hakoda rolled his eyes. "Must you do everything, including suffer, with insolence?" he demanded.

Lu Ten managed to crack a small smile. "It's not insolence, it's called regal bearing," he mumbled.

Hakoda groaned. "When it comes from a child, it's insolence, plain and simple. All right, so don't eat because I'm forcing you to. Eat because…because then you'll have died in enemy territory. If you let yourself die, I will tell the entire world that Lu Ten, son of Iroh, died because my four year old daughter bested him a fight. You will go down in history as the prince defeated by a girl."

Lu Ten lifted his head weakly and bit back a sniffle. "You wouldn't lie. You're a good man, good men don't lie."

Hakoda shrugged. "I'm a Water Tribe savage, remember? I have no manners, honor or what did you say…hygiene. And I'll raise your brother as one too," he threatened.

Lu Ten stared at him, not sure if he should believe him. "Do you intend to torture me and defile my memory?" he asked in his most regal tone.

Hakoda laughed and lifted Lu Ten as if he was a child. "No, I intend to make sure you eat and you live a good long life," he said, cradling him in his arms. "So I have decided to offer you two choices. You can eat properly or I will bind you and have you suck on a yak milk sack."

Lu Ten shoved him away hard. "I'm fine," he hissed. "And I'm not hungry." He was a failure as a prince. Eating was more than he deserved.

"I didn't ask if you were hungry. I told you to eat. You're a prince, right?" Hakoda said. "How would you react if someone ignored your orders? Well, I'm like a prince here and I'm telling you you better have this bowl finished, or I'll have the whole crew in here. I know how much you value your privacy and I will take it away from you."

"Fine, I'll eat." Lu Ten took a few sips and recalled how good food felt like when he was hungry. He could just have a little, even if he was a miserable failure.

"Can I ask you a question?" Hakoda asked. "Did you attack your brother because he told you he didn't have to listen to you anymore?"

"There is nothing to understand," Lu Ten said quietly, turning over in bed so he didn't face his captor. "I lost my temper because Zuko was insolent. There is no reason for you to inquire further."

"Zuko told me that your grandfather is the only person you're afraid of. Has he ever been violent towards you?" Hakoda asked. "Well, I'm wondering why you would think it's the right thing to do, to attack someone who displeases you, especially someone you clearly love?"

"I'm a prince. Before speaking to me, people kneel before me and wait for me to acknowledge them. They must kow tow when they leave. If someone spoke to me that way at home, they would be burnt to a crisp," Lu Ten hissed, hating how much he was being questioned.

"But the person you attacked isn't just anyone. I know how much you love Zuko, so it's the only reason why you would do something so horrible," Hakoda said. "I know that even Zuko's afraid of him. So what is the story with your grandfather?"

Lu Ten closed his eyes. "My grandfather is the most noble, kind, generous and good man in the world. I am honored to study by him," he said primly.

"I see. In other words, you are so afraid of him that you can't even manage to lie about him with conviction," Hakoda said insolently. "That's where the old marks on you are from."

Lu Ten shook his head. "My grandfather is the Fire Lord. His word is law. I am his most grateful and humble servant,"

"So, he frightened you into obedience? Just like today, you frightened your poor brother into obedience," Hakoda said softly. "When he looked up at you, helpless, terrified, did you feel like you taught him well?"

Lu Ten growled and lit his hand on fire. "Don't goad me, sir. I may be ill, but my aim is sharp and my flames ready,' he hissed.

"How dare you? You are not of my family, you do not understand our ways," Lu Ten snapped. "How dare you presume to think you can tell me how to act?"

"I know that there has to be a better way than that. Otherwise, why would Zuko avoiding you? Apparently, you didn't teach him well at all," Hakoda said sadly. "Or maybe too well."

Lu Ten bit his lip. "Are you done now?" he whispered, his body shaking. "Because I think you have said quite enough."

"Someone beat you, someone beat you very hard. Did your grandfather do it to you or was this done to you by your uncle?" Hakoda asked, putting his hand on his shoulder. "He sounds like a bit of a cruel type as well."

"Uncle is a good man, frightening but he'd never lay a hand on me to hurt me. He does punish me a lot, but it's because…it's because my dad…" Lu Ten broke off. Why was he talking so much to a man who could have killed for being born? It made no sense, he should just be quiet and hope that he would be rescued more.

"Your father isn't around too much," Hakoda said softly. "You never criticized him before, you know. Did you ever tell him you wish you could see him more?"

"He has his duties. I completely understand…but…I wish he could spend more time with me," Lu Ten said. "I miss him." That was an understatement. He missed him like the flowers missed the sun. When Dad was home, life was just so much better.

"Zuko mentioned your mother died. Childbirth?" Hakoda asked, taking Lu Ten's hand.

"With my baby brother. She said she would see me soon. She never did," Lu Ten whispered, closing his eyes. "I miss her even more. She was very kind to me. She used to sing to me, all the time. She had a lovely voice." Everything just bubbled out of him, like pus from a wound. He couldn't even control what he was saying, he was just depressed and feverish.

"That is terrible. You were so young when you lost her," Hakoda said gently. "It must not be easy for you. But it sounds like you have a wonderful family who care about you deeply."

"Aunt and Uncle do their best but…well…they aren't my parents. And Grandfather…is…not easy to please." He clapped his hand over his mouth from the treason he was saying. "Which of course, is only right."

"Yeah, he isn't known as the Abomination by most people because he is a good guy," Hakoda said. "I know you'll get angry, but just hear me out. When you talk about your other family, you glow with happiness. But you turn white and frightened whenever you speak about Azulon. Can you tell me why?" Hakoda asked.

Lu Ten shook his head. "I'm not frightened of him," he said, staring down at his hands. "I just wish to be left alone."

"So he was the one who beat you. Just tell me what happened and let me understand. What did you do to deserve that? If you tell me, I'll have your brother brought to you," he wheedled. "And I'll bribe him with candy to sit with you till you can make things right between you too."

"I mouthed off to him. I deserved what I got. If my father was home, he would deal with me, but Grandfather is just making me strong, making me into a Fire Lord," Lu Ten said, repeating what he knew must be true. "If he ever punished me, it was only for my benefit." He had never told anyone how he had hated his grandfather that night. He knew it was reason to even think it, but as he sobbed into his pillow, he had wished for Grandfather to be dead so Father could take the throne and be home all the time and Uncle Ozai could go off to war. "Please, no more."

"All right. But this conversation isn't finished. You need to figure out the truth that is staring you in the face. You're a smart kid, but you are so very warped by lies," Hakoda said. "And you will never get your little brother back until you do. That much I assure you."

Lu Ten was trained to show no emotion. He was a prince of the Fire Nation, he was a son of the Dragon. But all the emotion he had tried to hide came rushing out again, another moment of weakness. "Please…please go," he begged, putting the blankets over his head.

Hakoda sighed and patted him through the blanket. "I want to help you. All you need to ask," he soothed. "But you're too upset now. So I'll just sit with you until you fall asleep. Because here's your first clue. The enemy here isn't me."

Lu Ten said nothing but allowed Hakoda to stroke his back until he fell into a long dark sleep. He would allow the comfort. For now.

AN-Lu Ten is finally broken down. Time for Hakoda to start building.